We're not close, we're not really friends, but I think you are worth more than you think you are. From what I can tell just on the surface mind you, you don't really know what you want out of your life, just what others have told you you do. You need to learn how to make a best friend of yourself so you stop hurting so much. Everyone has grief, everyone has anger. The trick is to not let them control you.
Oh, eliminate these words from your vocabulary and you'll find things easier to deal with, "only, always, never, forever, all". Seriously. Things go in cycles, and there's good times as well as bad.
Very rough stuff. I find things the hardest when I cannot visualize a positive solution, or even the steps to get to that point. I wish you all the best in doing so.
And, on a completely mundane topic, any thoughts on attending PoC?
i'm trying to get to the con, all last minute like so i can't flake out at the last minute - unfortunately, all the rooms are booked. i sent an email to the wait list guy... work some magic and find me a room to rent for the weekend?
You can't get over it as long as you stay angry. You have to accept it, stop wondering why and just accept. It's happened and no amount of analyzing or bargaining will fix it. It's done, and it will only start to truly be over when YOU let it.
You are not going to get back what you have lost. It's gone forever. Stop adding to the pyre.
It's time you start actually dealing with things. No more masking with anger, no more self medicating, no more lying to yourself.
there's not day that i crawl out of bed that i don't choose to stand up and fucking FACE the anger, the fear, the guilt, the loneliness, the apathy, the fucking PANIC and the godforsaken all encompassing loneliness, every second of every fucking day. you're either insanely cruel, or you know NOTHING of loss. and while i certainly don't expect to ever get jon back, or alex or ashton or danielle or laura or terry or gram or scott or kaye or brandon or jamie or saya or gabe, if i can't expect to find some equivalent in my future, then i don't want to breathe another goddamn breath. the end. go FUCK yourself.
you're gone. I have always identified with what's going on in your life - the way you put things so well. It's clear as crystal and I appreciate the honesty of it all. Admitting that there's a demon inside -for whatever reason- isn't easy. I'm still cowering in the attic.
Comments 17
And-I don't hate you.
We're not close, we're not really friends, but I think you are worth more than you think you are. From what I can tell just on the surface mind you, you don't really know what you want out of your life, just what others have told you you do. You need to learn how to make a best friend of yourself so you stop hurting so much. Everyone has grief, everyone has anger. The trick is to not let them control you.
Oh, eliminate these words from your vocabulary and you'll find things easier to deal with, "only, always, never, forever, all". Seriously. Things go in cycles, and there's good times as well as bad.
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Very rough stuff. I find things the hardest when I cannot visualize a positive solution, or even the steps to get to that point. I wish you all the best in doing so.
And, on a completely mundane topic, any thoughts on attending PoC?
Reply
Reply
You can't get over it as long as you stay angry. You have to accept it, stop wondering why and just accept. It's happened and no amount of analyzing or bargaining will fix it. It's done, and it will only start to truly be over when YOU let it.
You are not going to get back what you have lost.
It's gone forever.
Stop adding to the pyre.
It's time you start actually dealing with things. No more masking with anger, no more self medicating, no more lying to yourself.
Reply
there's not day that i crawl out of bed that i don't choose to stand up and fucking FACE the anger, the fear, the guilt, the loneliness, the apathy, the fucking PANIC and the godforsaken all encompassing loneliness, every second of every fucking day. you're either insanely cruel, or you know NOTHING of loss. and while i certainly don't expect to ever get jon back, or alex or ashton or danielle or laura or terry or gram or scott or kaye or brandon or jamie or saya or gabe, if i can't expect to find some equivalent in my future, then i don't want to breathe another goddamn breath. the end. go FUCK yourself.
Reply
Reply
Reply
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