I just need to vent..

Mar 04, 2007 21:24

And this is the only place I have that the people I see on a regular basis don't know about.

I have a feeling that one of my friends (my best friend, actually) is lying to me. I talked to him about it, and he said that he's not, but I just can't shake this feeling.

I can put up with a lot, and overlook a lot of things, but one thing I can't put up with is being lied to. I've been lied to far too much, and I'm not going to put up with it anymore.

He's been texting a "friend" of his for a while...I picked at him, asking him if they were more than friends and he said no. But I was holding his phone for him the other night and he forgot about it and left the room. So, I read his text messages. The messages I read didn't sound like something just friends would say..even if they were just joking around.

Now, let me say this, Wesley is homosexual, and I have no desire to be with him myself. I love him only as a friend. I tell him everything...everything. And that's hard for me. I don't trust people very easily. But I trust him. And he claims to trust me and love me.

That's what hurts the most, I guess. The fact that he claims to trust me so much, and love me so much, and says I'm his best friend ever, but then tries to hide the fact that he's been texting this guy. He didn't hide it, I mean, when I ask him who he is texting, he tell me it's his friend. But, I still can't help but feel like he's not telling me everything. And now, when I pick on him about texting his "boyfriend", he gets all defensive and mad.

And tonight, I know that his friend was coming to visit. I've texted him several times, but he hasn't answered. And I know that it's because he is with that guy. However, whenever the two of us try to spend time togther, all he does is text his friend.

I don't know what I feel right now...I think I'm a little jealous (for reasons I don't understand), a little hurt, and just a bit pissed off!

I don't know what to do. If I ask him about it, he is just going to tell me they are just friends, and if I get the guy's number and ask him, he is going to tell my friend that I've been talking to him.

Should I just over look it and shrug it off? And if so, how do I do that? How do I make this feeling go away? I hate not being able to trust him...he's my best friend (or so I thought)...

And if there is something more going on between them, why does he feel like he can't tell me? Does he not trust me? He tells me everything else...

Or, am I just blowing this out of proportion? I'm not the kind of person that feels like my friends can't be friends with anyone else, but I also don't like to feel pushed to the side, either.

I know if you are reading this that you are probably bored..but, if you have any advise, please tell me. Enail me if you want: Breland03@aol.com. Even if you just want to tell me to snap out of it, anything will help, because I don't know what to do. I've tried everything...I just can't seem to shake this feeling...and I'm tired of it!
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