[John]

[jill_langston]

It was late afternoon by the time Jill found herself ready to return to New Atlantis. Rodney had gone back only a few hours earlier and she'd promised to be there that night, prepared to follow him soon after he'd gone, but her stop up at the Compound had changed her plans a bit. Information seemed to spread like wildfire on the island and she hadn

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[flyboy_shepp]

The first knock, John had studiously ignored. He'd been making a game out of staring up at his hut ceiling and seeing how long he could go without thinking about anything at all.

When he realized Jill was the one knocking, John considered still not answering for a second. He knew exactly what she was referring to, and while he still wasn't in the mood for company, drinking didn't sound like a bad idea.

He opened the door, unsurprised to see the bottle of wine in Jill's hand. An eyebrow went up. "Whole bottle this time?"

[jill_langston]

"The whole bottle," Jill agreed, nodding in the direction of the Compound before she took a step away from the door. "Between the two of us, we can probably knock this back with a disturbing level of ease."

She remembered the words she'd said to David, wondering if one day alcohol could be her addiction, but she wasn't going to dwell on that now. Maybe it was, maybe she was far too dependent on it, but right now she just wanted to get drunk.

"Let's go," she said simply.

[flyboy_shepp]

John didn't need to be told to do anything twice. He shut the door behind him a little harder than he normally might have, and followed Jill, hands shoved in his pockets.

The fact that this was normal enough that they didn't need to explain themselves to each other still made his head reel.

[jill_langston]

As they walked, Jill was silent, listening to their feet scuff in the dirt and the wind in the leaves. She didn't want to say anything to make it worse, but she didn't want to keep the information from him either.

"I just found out Chris is gone, too. Chris Cutter. I know you guys were on the Council together," she said softly, because he'd been her friend and it sucked to have to say it out loud. "Alec McDowell, too."

[flyboy_shepp]

John looked over at Jill sharply before turning his gaze back to the dirt in front of him as they walked. "I didn't know Alec," he admitted. "Have you seen Lennox?"

[jill_langston]

"No," Jill answered, looking at the ground as well. "I don't know him well, I didn't feel right..." He had his own friends to be with him, she expected, and Chris really wasn't hers to mourn. "Do you know him well? Lennox, I mean."

[flyboy_shepp]

"I know him," John shrugged. 'Well' in John's case meant someone like Teyla, but Lennox was a good guy. He didn't deserve that. Nobody ever did, but it happened over and over again, and they all just went on like it never did.

[jill_langston]

It wasn't often that Jill offered comfort to John, both because she wasn't very good at it and because he didn't seem willing to accept it most of the time, but this was too much at once. Shifting the bottle of wine, she reached over as they walked, slipping her hand into John's for a moment and squeezed lightly.

[flyboy_shepp]

When Jill suddenly took his hand, John's first thought was to pull it back. All he managed was a twitch, and his hand stilled for a moment as he sucked in a deep breath. He knew Jill wasn't the comforting type, and the small gesture seemed to make everything hurt a little more.

John hated being so transparent it came down to this, but he appreciated it all the same. He squeezed her hand back.

[jill_langston]

The feel of John's hand in hers was comforting to her as well, and although she wouldn't have ever said that out loud, she expected John knew it anyway. After a moment, when the tight feeling in her chest abated somewhat, she let their hands slip free again, but she walked close to him. Just in case.

"I feel like I should start my own winery," she said as neared the ferris wheel, lifting the bottle again so she could look at it.

[flyboy_shepp]

"Nah," John said, giving the control box a little pat as they passed it. He hopped up and opened the door to the car, shifting aside to let Jill in first. "That's just asking for reasons to drink it all."

Most of which in their case, obviously, weren't good reasons at all.

[jill_langston]

The problem, Jill knew, was that she didn't need a reason to drink it all, but she didn't say anything, just climbed up into the first car after giving John a faint smile of thanks. Holding the wine between her knees, she pulled out the makeshift cork as she waited for him to join her, then lifted the bottle to smell the wine curiously.

"Some kind of citrus," she said, then took a sip from the bottle. "Good thing I didn't bring Rodney out here."

[flyboy_shepp]

John settled in next to Jill, one leg propped up on the bar in front of them. "I don't know, being accused of trying to kill him's usually a pretty good distraction."

[jill_langston]

"I'll let you have that one, then," Jill decided, passing the bottle over to John, knocking it against his hand lightly. "I think we've reached a pleasant place in our relationship with neither of us throw around accusations of attempted murder."

[flyboy_shepp]

It took John a second to work that out, but at least he'd already brought the bottle up to take a drink when he made a face. Was it so hard to go just one conversation where Jill and Rodney doing things they did that John didn't want to know about didn't have to be brought up?

He set the bottle between his legs and tried to relax a little. "How do you do it?" When he realized he wasn't exactly being clear, John added, "the relationship thing. And he's just - he's gone before."

[jill_langston]

Slowly, Jill's shoulders lifted in a shrug. "I don't know," she admitted honestly, because the idea that he could disappear again was always there, whether she liked it or not. Either of them could go. Anyone could. "I just... I still have to live here."

That was as close as she could come to any kind of explanation, although she wasn't sure it made sense.