How to make a miracle in 36+ hours
It started even before I knew it did really. I woke up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night which was far from unusual. Then before I could untangle myself from my blankets I sneezed and felt like I might have wet myself. However when it happened again I thought "uh oh this could be my water breaking". I also thought how much the movies lie. I did ot have any pain at the time so I decided not to wake Mike and try to go back to sleep. I knocked out for a couple of hours and when I got up Mike had just finished painting in t e nursery (maybe he had a vibe). It was snowing pretty heavily at this point. I went to the bathroom and was pretty sure at this point it was my water breaking. I popped my head out of the bathroom and told Mike "Hey I think my water broke I am going to jump in the shower and then we should probably call the hospital". His face was priceless. I remember thinking how much tv and movies lie about water breaking.
After my shower I called the hospital and was packing my bag waiting for a call back from the office. I was informed that my OBGYN who had been with me all through my pregnancy was not available (Dr Latshaw) and I would be delivered by Dr Breakstone whom I had never met. I was a little disappointed initially but knew my practice had all wonderful doctors (only five women).
We drove through the snowstorm as carefully as possible with our excitement tangible in the air around us. We were a jumble of nerves and dreams of our little girl we'd finally be meeting. Luckily the office was located right next door to the hospital so we did not have to worry on that score.
They took me in almost right away and after they weighed and blood pressured me I went to wait with Mike. We sat there and sat there for over 20 mins. I began to feel uncomfortable and awkward so exposed (ladies you know how it goes, imagine being 9 months pregnant too). Since we had sneak attacked the doctor we had to wait. I remember telling Mike "I feel like I have to pee but I just went" (yes very elegant). Immediately after I said that my water BROKE. Being a geek I was freaking out more over needing tissues to not make a mess than over the baby coming. Mike rushed into the hall calling for someone to come and help me. Dr Breakstone came in and said "We are going to have a baby today, isn't that wonderful and exciting?" I loved her instantly.
She checked to see how far I was dilated ....(2 cm). this exam can only be described as imagining Edward Scissor hands giving you an internal exam. Unfortunately this was not to be the last or the worst internal I would receive. She suggested since my water was broken and there was a bad storm I should go and get admitted in the hospital. Mike and I made our way through the emergency room up to the maternity floor. They put me in a wheelchair and rode me up to the floor. It all felt so surreal to think the time had finally come.
Along the way we had started to make calls to people to let them know. Mike's brother Henri and his wife Jen were the first to arrive (they were at an appointment themselves, she was pregnant too). Mike's parents came to see us and lend their support as well. I tried to answer and make calls while trying to get out of my winter wear and into the hospital gown. It was such an emotional and overwhelming time it is stunning how calm I was able to stay. I was having contractions by the time everyone arrived but was still in good spirits and not in terrible pain yet. This seemed funny to the doctor when she came to check because she said I was having some pretty good contractions...Yeah me. However, I should not have celebrated myself so soon for the "best" was yet to be. Ahhhh.
I tried to continue to take strolls around the hospital with mike to get things moving along. There was a hum of excitement and anticipation all around us in our little bubble of existence. I continued to make calls to inform and keep everyone updated. My dear Jackie was a constant source of support and love through calls and text messages. She wanted to drive up so badly but the snow kept her stranded.
It turns out Miss Mya had no intentions of coming out that night anyway. Dr Breakstone came that evening and said she didn't see any need to rush it along. We decided to wait till till midnight (24 hours) and see where we were at and then start medication to push labor along if needed. It was funny to think we might have a New Years day baby.
As the day turned into late afternoon and near evening everyone went home to take a break or rest. Mike and I tried to relax a little which was not easy. I was strapped to moniters every hour to check the wee one. I was told I could eat something before everyone left and had my "last meal" of fruit, yogurt and a muffin.
The family (parents, Henri and Jen) all came back near midnight with champange and a little New Years nosh (shrimp cocktail, crackers and cheese etc). It was incredibly sweet of them. We toasted in the new year and knew our little one was going to be a New Years gift we would never forget.
I had another check and in 24 hours I had only dilated 1 extra cm....Whaaaaa! I was not impressed with myself at this point. My doctor said she was going to stop at a party but promised she would not drink *giggles* and would come back and sleep at the hospital along with the anestigiologist to wait for me. She came back and checked on me and we decided to get the Protoson going to induce contractions and for me to get some sleep. Everyone waited for awhile and then Mike urged them to go home since we would be trying to sleep.
We slept fitfully in little pockets being interrupted for checks on a regular basis. The contractions began to get steadily worse as time and medication wore on. I will never forget one nurse (Monica) who seemed to have an accent I couldn't place but was European. She did yet another internal exam and this time I could not take it. I writhed in pain and covered my face and began to cry and squeezed Mike's hand. She looked to sad and sorry she didn't even get to finish. I remember her not really because the pain but because of her kindness and support. After about the third round of medicine I could not take anymore and said okay to the epidural. The anestigiologist came immediately and prepped me for the injections. I was admittedly terrified of getting a huge needle injected into my spine but I was in too much pain to let that stop me. I remember Mike could not take his usual spot somewhere I could squeeze his hand and Monica took my hand and held it as I was bracing myself for the injection. It was pretty scary and painful but her support gave me the strength I needed to push myself into the needle as I was required to do. When her shift was about to be over I remember her checking on my stats and I told her thank you and goodbye if I didn't see her. She said she would come back before she left and she did. I had a wonderful experience with everyone at the hospital. We were also the only parents to be that night as well which gave us added service I am sure.
After the epidural I was able to relax a little and tried to sleep. It felt so strange that my legs began to feel like they were immoblie and cold to the touch. I noticed right away my left side felt different but was able to go to sleep. I awoke two hours later and the medication had worn off on my left side. At this point the contractions were really intense. The doctor was called to "top off" my medication and it lasted for another couple of hours and it happened again. I was given another "top off" and they left me with a drip I could control as well which I never ended up using. The medication did help but as she began to make her way down into position with every contraction it was getting more and more terrible.
I would like to take a minute to showcase my wonderful and supportive husband. He was a constant source of support and encouragement without being an annoying cheerleading type. He knew his cue when I made a grabby hand at him that I needed him to let me squeeze him. He got me anything I needed and was sympathetic to my agony and did anything he could think to comfort me.
Finally it was time to get to pushing and well there is no way to describe how much agony it entailed really. Even with the epidural it was so excruciating and exhausting it was almost enough to drive me mad. Poor Mike thought he was going to "stay up top" with me and ended up holding my left leg up as the doctor held another. this is the part I must toot my own horn for a minute. I never knew the depths of strength and courage I would have to summon to bring my little girl to life. I was pushed past the limits I thought I was capable of. I remember very clearly I was actually doing very well with pushing and the doctor was impressed. However, towards the last part of pushing I lost my focus and almost my mind. I was proud to say I didn't yell or cry or carry on. There did come a point there where I spilled over to the bad place and just felt like I couldn't take anymore. My legs were shaking and in agony and I just wanted everyone to let go go them and strated to try to get them free and saying I needed to put them down. Dr Breakstone started saying "Nicole look at me, look at me" and snapped me out of it. I came to my senses and proceeded on he most excrutiating and wonderous moment of my life. She saw her head and tole me I could feel it. It was kind of quishy and wasn't sure but I took her word for it. She joked that she had so much hair we might be able to get her out by it. The last number of pushes were agonizing and difficult. I felt as if I was burning and pulled apart at the same time. Then I felt this primal guttural growl come out of me as I gave the final push and my little one emerged into the world. It was a feeling like no other, the torment and the fantastic relief in one fluid moment followed by the incredible bliss of seeing her for the first time and holding her when they handed her immediately to me. I have never seen anything more perfect or miraculous in all my days. Tears of joy welled up in both Mike and my eyes as we looked with fasination at our creation. They took her to get her prepared and Dr Breakstone got out my plaenta (which she later asked if we wanted to see and I did, grotesque but amazing, you could even see where it broke). She also had to stitch me up due to my being torn during deivery.
After I was mended and Mya was presentable mike went to inform everyone they could come in..Jackie made it in the knick of time and came in with Mike's parents and Henri and Jen. So it began the parade of well wishers and admirers for our little love. The paper called to do an interview because we were the first baby in our town of Bristol Connecticut. I remember one of the nurses saying while I was being prepped for delievry that someone else almost came in that morning and beat us but she said "Oh no our patient has been here all night no way!" Too funny and dear. It turned out to be a classmate from our prenatal class and she had her baby later that day. The doctor says she was born at 11:13 but in my heart I know it was 11:09 like my Dad's sign. She was born also on 01/09/2009 or 1/09 like our house number that we closed on on my dad's birthday. I know that was his way of letting us know he shared this moment with us. I remember looking at the clock at around 10:30 and thought "you are waiting for 11:09 aren't you?" What a world! Thank you Daddy for being there.
That my friends is how you bring a miracle into the world in 36 hours. It was the best thing I ever did in my life. I finally completed my emotional destiny to fill the void I have carried all these years that only this little girl could fill. I love her beyond the capacity I thought I was ever capable to love anything in all the world. She is me and I am her and I am "made again".
Click to viewHere are some pictures:
Meeting Mami on the outside A Daddy is born
Sleeping lovie So happy and so exhausted!
Making headlines Dr Breakstone
Pepe Reggie Meme Neema
Uncle Henri Auntie Jen