So I'm done...Just tired of trying
So last night I go to Steak and Shake w/ my friend Nick to go get my money from my friend...but she's not there. I ask if she was supposed to work that night..and no her last night was Monday! She told me and Nat that she had to work on Monday and Tuesday! So I called her and told her we need to get together. She says she has no car but she's going to try to borrow her moms. I work right by where she lives kinda so she's supposed to call me today and make it out here. If she doesn't call by 12:30 I'm calling her. So that was a waste of time, going to Steak and SHake. But we went to WalMart anyways. I got a new DVD tower so it's ok.
And then I talked to Ryan about our whole situation. Yeah we are just friends. I think it's a good idea, but I still like him. I just am so confused. I like him and don't want to let a great guy just pass by and then try to come back and he's taken. It just really sucks not knowing what's up ahead. It's hard to be friends with someone you like and just hold your feelings in. You know what I mean? You just get the urge to kiss them. But you can't. Oh well. But like I said it's probably for the best, just sucks right now.
I've decided I'm done trying with boys. No more taking initutive with me. If they want to get to know me, then it's all on them. And for the shy guys, they'll just have to get over it. I'll just wait around and have fun and see what comes along. I guess I have some years anyways before it's time to really get settled. I think I kinda rushed into things anyways right after Nate and I broke up. I felt like we had broken up a while before we actually did though. And I've also decided not to get attached, it just ends up hurting in the end. Forget that shit. I just don't know what to do anymore. Everything is just changing so fast. I don't like it. Usually I am good with change too. I think I'm just so used to being with a boy and doing what I want when I'm around him. Now when I just hang out with guy friends I just wanna do the same things as I did when I was in my relationship. Ohh this just sucks. Ehh.
So I leave to move in one week from today! That's a scary thought. :( I'm so nervous, I have so much to do and not enough time.
I could just cry right now, I feel overwhelmed. No crying though. There's no crying in baseball! Sir tell her there's no crying in baseball! Gotta love A League of Their Own.
So work shouldn't be too bad today. We get free lunch. The office won free lunch from anywhere. We just won like 2 weeks ago. Today we are having Culvers though. I got a Chicken Parmesan Salad. We'll see how it is. So the annual office pool party is this Saturday at my house. I really don't wanna stick around for it, it's kinda boring to me know that I'm old. I don't just swim around and play with the other kids. They are all old now and don't have to go. I just have to go well because I work in the office and it's my house! Today I'm wearing one of my favorite skirts. It puts me in a good mood. It's one I got in Spain. And I'm wearing a red shirt today, it's weird I don't wear that much red, I'm a pink person. Well I guess I wore red on Friday night, but it doesn't count it was just a sweatshirt.
I've decided I want to be young again. Young and carefree. No worries about anything. Oh so many things to do. Don't you usually say this when you are like 30?
So I'm going to the restaruant tonight to visit. And I get to see my friend Amanda down there. Nate isn't working too so it'll be good. I miss the food. Ryan is going to go with me too. He loves that place. I told him I'd make him something really good since I know all the secrets down there. We'll see if I'm up to it though.
This morning I was laying in bed and my mom woke me up and told me to get up. I just couldn't. I kept falling back to sleep and having mini dreams. It felt like I was sleeping forever but it was really only like 15 minutes.
So it's cold in the office again today. Got the heater on while everyone else is dying cause they are hot. I think I just get really cold easily. I'm always cold. Just need a cuddle bug to warm me up ;) I've only wasted like 1/2 hour on here. That sucks.
I have to go to my high school on Friday night to get my yearbook. It's the Blue and White game. The stupid football team scrimages each other. I don't think I'm staying for the game, I don't want to be one of those people that all the high schoolers are like what is she doing here? But I do have to go to get my yearbook. I'm excited to see it, I hear it's good. We'll just have to see.
I was driving to work this morning and I had to get gas. So I stopped and got it. Then I got stopped by a train, then I got behind a city bus...it was not a fun morning. I was like 10 minutes late. But I really wasn't late cause the office doesn't open til 8:30 I just get here at 7:30 to get an extra hour of work and to eat my breakfast. Except I had no breakfast this morning cause I'm saving room for lunch!
I took Mr. Jiffy for a walk yesterday. He enjoyed it greatly. Usually he pees like a girl cause he's lazy but he was hiking his leg up. I was so proud of him. A funny time was when he was peeing in the yard and I said Jiff you pee like a girl, and then he looked at me and lifted his leg and finished peeing. It was the funniest thing I've seen. He's so smart. I love him. One man that I do love greatly lol. I was also laying out by the pool yesterday and my good friend Courtney and her sister came up and swam w/ me. Courtney fell in love with Mr. Jiffy. It was funny.
But yeah I layed out yesterday after work. I don't think I really got any sun but oh well. I had to get my hair cut too at 4. I love my hairdresser. I've been going to him since I was in my mom's stomach. Hahaha. For real though I have. After I was at his shop, I stopped by my favorite flower shop and ordered flowers to send to my mom for next Thurs., the day after I leave for school. I wrote a nice little note saying "Thank you for everything you have done in my life. Love, Amanda" I hope she likes it. I sent them to her here at the office. I know she'll be suprised.
My mom just informed me that next Tuesday night, my last night home, my dad has a dinner thing for work. She said that they wouldn't go if I didn't want them to, but I said to go. She said she will feel bad about leaving me home. I'm sure I can find something to do though. But it is a little sad. She said they won't be late.
Oh the flavor of the day today will be good. We get ice cream too for lunch. Chocolate Symphony. Chocolate custard with heath bits and almond pieces. Chocolate will make me feel better. Chocolate is a girl's best friend. :) Wow I've written a lot and it's only 9:00! 3 more hours til the food gets here and 3 1/2 hours til I get to leave.
Well I've written too much really. It was probably a little boring. But oh well. I just ramble.
And then I talked to Ryan about our whole situation. Yeah we are just friends. I think it's a good idea, but I still like him. I just am so confused. I like him and don't want to let a great guy just pass by and then try to come back and he's taken. It just really sucks not knowing what's up ahead. It's hard to be friends with someone you like and just hold your feelings in. You know what I mean? You just get the urge to kiss them. But you can't. Oh well. But like I said it's probably for the best, just sucks right now.
I've decided I'm done trying with boys. No more taking initutive with me. If they want to get to know me, then it's all on them. And for the shy guys, they'll just have to get over it. I'll just wait around and have fun and see what comes along. I guess I have some years anyways before it's time to really get settled. I think I kinda rushed into things anyways right after Nate and I broke up. I felt like we had broken up a while before we actually did though. And I've also decided not to get attached, it just ends up hurting in the end. Forget that shit. I just don't know what to do anymore. Everything is just changing so fast. I don't like it. Usually I am good with change too. I think I'm just so used to being with a boy and doing what I want when I'm around him. Now when I just hang out with guy friends I just wanna do the same things as I did when I was in my relationship. Ohh this just sucks. Ehh.
So I leave to move in one week from today! That's a scary thought. :( I'm so nervous, I have so much to do and not enough time.
I could just cry right now, I feel overwhelmed. No crying though. There's no crying in baseball! Sir tell her there's no crying in baseball! Gotta love A League of Their Own.
So work shouldn't be too bad today. We get free lunch. The office won free lunch from anywhere. We just won like 2 weeks ago. Today we are having Culvers though. I got a Chicken Parmesan Salad. We'll see how it is. So the annual office pool party is this Saturday at my house. I really don't wanna stick around for it, it's kinda boring to me know that I'm old. I don't just swim around and play with the other kids. They are all old now and don't have to go. I just have to go well because I work in the office and it's my house! Today I'm wearing one of my favorite skirts. It puts me in a good mood. It's one I got in Spain. And I'm wearing a red shirt today, it's weird I don't wear that much red, I'm a pink person. Well I guess I wore red on Friday night, but it doesn't count it was just a sweatshirt.
I've decided I want to be young again. Young and carefree. No worries about anything. Oh so many things to do. Don't you usually say this when you are like 30?
So I'm going to the restaruant tonight to visit. And I get to see my friend Amanda down there. Nate isn't working too so it'll be good. I miss the food. Ryan is going to go with me too. He loves that place. I told him I'd make him something really good since I know all the secrets down there. We'll see if I'm up to it though.
This morning I was laying in bed and my mom woke me up and told me to get up. I just couldn't. I kept falling back to sleep and having mini dreams. It felt like I was sleeping forever but it was really only like 15 minutes.
So it's cold in the office again today. Got the heater on while everyone else is dying cause they are hot. I think I just get really cold easily. I'm always cold. Just need a cuddle bug to warm me up ;) I've only wasted like 1/2 hour on here. That sucks.
I have to go to my high school on Friday night to get my yearbook. It's the Blue and White game. The stupid football team scrimages each other. I don't think I'm staying for the game, I don't want to be one of those people that all the high schoolers are like what is she doing here? But I do have to go to get my yearbook. I'm excited to see it, I hear it's good. We'll just have to see.
I was driving to work this morning and I had to get gas. So I stopped and got it. Then I got stopped by a train, then I got behind a city bus...it was not a fun morning. I was like 10 minutes late. But I really wasn't late cause the office doesn't open til 8:30 I just get here at 7:30 to get an extra hour of work and to eat my breakfast. Except I had no breakfast this morning cause I'm saving room for lunch!
I took Mr. Jiffy for a walk yesterday. He enjoyed it greatly. Usually he pees like a girl cause he's lazy but he was hiking his leg up. I was so proud of him. A funny time was when he was peeing in the yard and I said Jiff you pee like a girl, and then he looked at me and lifted his leg and finished peeing. It was the funniest thing I've seen. He's so smart. I love him. One man that I do love greatly lol. I was also laying out by the pool yesterday and my good friend Courtney and her sister came up and swam w/ me. Courtney fell in love with Mr. Jiffy. It was funny.
But yeah I layed out yesterday after work. I don't think I really got any sun but oh well. I had to get my hair cut too at 4. I love my hairdresser. I've been going to him since I was in my mom's stomach. Hahaha. For real though I have. After I was at his shop, I stopped by my favorite flower shop and ordered flowers to send to my mom for next Thurs., the day after I leave for school. I wrote a nice little note saying "Thank you for everything you have done in my life. Love, Amanda" I hope she likes it. I sent them to her here at the office. I know she'll be suprised.
My mom just informed me that next Tuesday night, my last night home, my dad has a dinner thing for work. She said that they wouldn't go if I didn't want them to, but I said to go. She said she will feel bad about leaving me home. I'm sure I can find something to do though. But it is a little sad. She said they won't be late.
Oh the flavor of the day today will be good. We get ice cream too for lunch. Chocolate Symphony. Chocolate custard with heath bits and almond pieces. Chocolate will make me feel better. Chocolate is a girl's best friend. :) Wow I've written a lot and it's only 9:00! 3 more hours til the food gets here and 3 1/2 hours til I get to leave.
Well I've written too much really. It was probably a little boring. But oh well. I just ramble.