"I'm nobody's hippie and the best medicine is back in the sack with his Burger King girlfriend"
The weekend was like one big conspiracy to cause my death by exhaustion. Friday night a party (spent mostly looking after a friend who was fine one minute and gone the next, and clearly in some emotional turmoil -- I'm still a little worried about him because of that) and then another Saturday (this one the former Boy's birthday celebration) then spent most of Sunday watching Dexter with said boy before staying up until ridiculous hours working on a paper. Today I did the same thing after classes (the Dexter-watching, not the partying) and will probably once again stay up much too late. At least I get to sleep in tomorrow. And anyway, season two of Dexter is one delicious mindfuck after another. Totally worth it.
Maybe it's just because I'm tired and therefore inclined to be overemotional, but seeing him today was sad for me. I had too much work to do to be hanging out, really, but it's his birthday and it seemed important to him to see me, so I went over. He wanted me to come out for the dining/drinking portion of the evening, but I couldn't justify putting off my work that long . . . and now of course I feel bad for not being there. It seems weird to still feel sad about things being over with us even though I'm okay now with being single, but I guess "weird" has always summed the two of us up pretty well. I wonder if it's easier to end relationships with hating each other and never wanting to speak again. It probably isn't, but still needing (and it is needing, not just wanting) to be close and be important in each other's lives is hard.
I'm avoiding answering my phone -- a few texts from someone I didn't need to talk to again have put me off of it -- so if anyone needs to get in touch with me, I promise it's not you I'm ignoring, but I may not pick up right away.
Esther says I'm cast in Speak Truth to Power. I knew that already, but being told so directly is nice. :) I'm liking both my new scene partner and scene for 250, although I wish she'd been less hesitant to do one of the later scenes. Oh well. Better to have one we both like than to have her super uncomfortable attempting to manufacture a whole bunch of lesbian sexual tension.
. . . omfg. A friend of mine just sent me that. So wrong, and yet so very right.
Maybe it's just because I'm tired and therefore inclined to be overemotional, but seeing him today was sad for me. I had too much work to do to be hanging out, really, but it's his birthday and it seemed important to him to see me, so I went over. He wanted me to come out for the dining/drinking portion of the evening, but I couldn't justify putting off my work that long . . . and now of course I feel bad for not being there. It seems weird to still feel sad about things being over with us even though I'm okay now with being single, but I guess "weird" has always summed the two of us up pretty well. I wonder if it's easier to end relationships with hating each other and never wanting to speak again. It probably isn't, but still needing (and it is needing, not just wanting) to be close and be important in each other's lives is hard.
I'm avoiding answering my phone -- a few texts from someone I didn't need to talk to again have put me off of it -- so if anyone needs to get in touch with me, I promise it's not you I'm ignoring, but I may not pick up right away.
Esther says I'm cast in Speak Truth to Power. I knew that already, but being told so directly is nice. :) I'm liking both my new scene partner and scene for 250, although I wish she'd been less hesitant to do one of the later scenes. Oh well. Better to have one we both like than to have her super uncomfortable attempting to manufacture a whole bunch of lesbian sexual tension.
. . . omfg. A friend of mine just sent me that. So wrong, and yet so very right.
