(Untitled)

[jianantonic]

4 pages done. 5 more due tonight. 10 more due before I disconnect on Monday morning. Doable, but bleh. I'm really making it hard on myself by not just charging straight through it all, but I don't feel like it. I had a talk with McKenzie last night about how freelancing does this to me. How it's good that I took a more regular job, where I can

Comments

[hikerpoet]

It is interesting. I definitely don't feel that way with my writing and editing freelance. Sometimes it is annoying, but that is more when clients aren't clear about what they want (and I'm not the type who needs a lot of hand-holding but since you do it you probably know exactly what I mean with the "That's fine. Whatever! Looks great. *radio silence radio silence shrug shrug*" and then the "But I wanted!!!" thing). I don't usually look at it in terms of page progress or similar things like that. More like, "Okay, I had several hours to make a dent--such-and-such is left--so another stretch that long will be perfect! And I have time for that tonight". It usually doesn't loom too much.

I think it helps that my last job had really extreme and insane hours with splits and overnights and stuff. Making my own schedule in several-hour bursts at a time is the other end of the spectrum and downright luxurious! Long term, for certain things, regular shift-work might be most appealing.

I also do some event-planning freelance and it does give me that feeling a bit more. I think partly because in that case major fuck-ups are so visible, and also because of the cyclical way it works the hourly demands are much more. (It may be sixty hours a week for two weeks but then it is a one-off--or an annual thing--so you're DONE). But event-planning can also be the most fun, so I do still enjoy it.

I'm with you on being the ~lifestyle oriented~ type. That's where that part of the mommy wars gets me. I'm a feminist with a strong work ethic and great management skills but I'd rather be doing a zillion and one different things (attention span issues, too) and do community building than be on a track. I recently read an article looking at the opt-out trend and how moms going back have "only" been able to find non-profit work. I'm like, "Non-profit? Perfect!". But do also realized I'm in a privileged enough position that is a supplement rather than a sole breadwinning paycheck for a family.

[jianantonic]

I wouldn't normally count in terms of pages, but this particular assignment is to write 52 different introduction pages for website subsections. And each is supposed to be about a page long, so...pages. Other stuff I just write until my point is made and then I'm done. Anyway.

I think a lot of the mommy wars (and other lifestyle/culture wars) come from people's insecurities. When someone else chooses a different path, it feels like an attack on their choices, and there's a lot of preemptive defensiveness which makes the whole thing just ugly. I'm not wrapped up in that with kids, of course, but I see it all around me and it's infuriating.

[deepseasiren]

And if I didn't have to work I'd spend time working on my own novel :)

[deepseasiren]

I'm glad you feel that way and understand you ARE priveleged, because there many of us single women who get angry when wives complain about things and they DON'T realize how good they have it when the rest of us struggle with our income.

[hikerpoet]

Well, it is not like some of them don't have legitimate (separate) complaints, but I agree self-awareness about that on several levels is annoying.

But yeah, I've done freelance as sole income as a single woman in the past which was definitely more nervewracking, even though I still at least had roommates so not super expensive rent.

And before I quit that job with hellish hours it was an awkward in between position of having the smaller (but not terrible) paycheck but feeling trapped being the sole health care provider, which we considered even more important with kids. Once my husband's job offered them, we jumped on it, and have been glad we took the leap, knock wood.