Should I stay or should I go?
You guys. Holy shit.
I was invited to join the Clackamas Community Band, which held its first practice last night. I had no idea what to expect going in, and I was pretty nervous. I very nearly backed out and didn't go, but I decided to give it a shot, because I knew I'd be annoyed with myself and full of what-ifs if I skipped it.
Everyone was very nice and welcoming, and I explained to the director that it's been a loooong time since I've played in an organized group, and she assured me that whatever my level was, that was no problem. She introduced me to the other clarinet players and I sat down to get started. When I saw the first piece of music, I knew I was waaaaay out of my league.
Everyone else in the group is much older -- mostly retired people who have been playing their instruments for decades, though many of them said that they had put their instruments down for many years before returning to music in retirement. That gave me some hope that maybe I could catch up, but the thing is, I was never that good before. I could play middle school band pieces just fine, but it turns out, that stuff's not all that advanced...
I struggled through as much as I could. There wasn't a single piece where I could play the whole thing, but I was able to play parts of everything. You know, the whole notes. I lost my place a lot, and there was a lot of terminology I had NO clue about. Some of the stuff, I wouldn't have known it was music terminology had I not been in a music rehearsal. So. Yeah. I'm kind of terrible. I don't know if I have it in me to catch up to this level and be a legit clarinet player with a legit band. I kind of want to sit in on middle school band classes instead. Everyone was nice and encouraged me to come back next week, though, and it is free...but I just don't know. I'm not just being modest or timid -- I really don't have much in the way of musical talent, and I'm not sure I'll ever fit in with a group at this level. I'd love to be able to, but I definitely don't have the confidence that I can practice enough to get to that level. Maaaaybe with professional lessons, but those are not free, and I don't have a lot of time...
So. Do I keep going to band practice and struggling along, or do I admit defeat in this arena and go back to playing out of my Beatles songbook at home? I know people will continue to be encouraging and all "You can do it!" but I want honest input -- can someone who is basically a beginner with no natural musical talent or much of a background hit the ground running and be successful here? I just don't know...
I was invited to join the Clackamas Community Band, which held its first practice last night. I had no idea what to expect going in, and I was pretty nervous. I very nearly backed out and didn't go, but I decided to give it a shot, because I knew I'd be annoyed with myself and full of what-ifs if I skipped it.
Everyone was very nice and welcoming, and I explained to the director that it's been a loooong time since I've played in an organized group, and she assured me that whatever my level was, that was no problem. She introduced me to the other clarinet players and I sat down to get started. When I saw the first piece of music, I knew I was waaaaay out of my league.
Everyone else in the group is much older -- mostly retired people who have been playing their instruments for decades, though many of them said that they had put their instruments down for many years before returning to music in retirement. That gave me some hope that maybe I could catch up, but the thing is, I was never that good before. I could play middle school band pieces just fine, but it turns out, that stuff's not all that advanced...
I struggled through as much as I could. There wasn't a single piece where I could play the whole thing, but I was able to play parts of everything. You know, the whole notes. I lost my place a lot, and there was a lot of terminology I had NO clue about. Some of the stuff, I wouldn't have known it was music terminology had I not been in a music rehearsal. So. Yeah. I'm kind of terrible. I don't know if I have it in me to catch up to this level and be a legit clarinet player with a legit band. I kind of want to sit in on middle school band classes instead. Everyone was nice and encouraged me to come back next week, though, and it is free...but I just don't know. I'm not just being modest or timid -- I really don't have much in the way of musical talent, and I'm not sure I'll ever fit in with a group at this level. I'd love to be able to, but I definitely don't have the confidence that I can practice enough to get to that level. Maaaaybe with professional lessons, but those are not free, and I don't have a lot of time...
So. Do I keep going to band practice and struggling along, or do I admit defeat in this arena and go back to playing out of my Beatles songbook at home? I know people will continue to be encouraging and all "You can do it!" but I want honest input -- can someone who is basically a beginner with no natural musical talent or much of a background hit the ground running and be successful here? I just don't know...