(no subject)
I think about Marma every day, but especially on April 11th, her birthday. My father's mother would be 104 today. This morning, I have been reflecting on how much she loved her family, and not just grandchildren but siblings, nieces, nephews, and cousins several times removed. Every day I would charge into her apartment demanding her attention in the form of a card game or a back scratch, and she was always willing to oblige, but I always had to wait my turn. She was usually on the phone with some family member, and she wasn't cutting that conversation short for me. I'd deal out some games of solitaire on the other side of her kitchen table, while she sat across from me talking, but mostly listening. Maybe it's because she was mostly deaf, and she was faking her way through much of the conversation, just saying "mmhmm" sporadically. Certainly a possibility, but I think mostly she was just listening. She was so interested in the minutiae of everyone's lives (she was a southern woman, after all), and genuinely wanted to know how your day was and what little nothings you've been up to since the last time you spoke with her -- which was probably no more than a few days ago.
She had stacks of papers next to the phone, and a ball point pen, which she would doodle with while she chatted. Doodling is perhaps too strong a word -- she drew circles, and traced them over and over again. That's it. She never wrote anything or drew anything else...every piece of paper within three feet of her phone was covered in thick blue circles. Once I reached the age in school where I was regularly taking notes, my papers became covered with circles, too.
When she finally got off the phone, she was all mine for the afternoon. We'd play cards for hours, and then we'd go to her couch, where I would lay with my head in her lap so she could scratch my back while we watched TV. Family Feud and The People's Court were our favorites.
I wonder how Marma would feel about Facebook. On the one hand, I think, she'd be pleased that we're able to so simply keep in touch with family members far and wide, and I know she'd love being able to see the pictures from our daily activities and anything else we may post there -- but on the other hand, I don't think she'd see the point. She'd be disappointed that we don't call each other more, especially now that long distance charges are a thing of the past. She is not the type of woman who would be happy to have a cell phone because she could talk anywhere -- that wasn't her style. She wanted to devote her full attention to her conversations, and she would consider it rude to try to have a conversation while grocery shopping.
I do think Marma would be pleased with our family, though. How the Massies so strongly identify with our Massiehood, and each other. The only great-grandchildren she knew were Ryan and Maggie, the oldest of their generation of Massies, but now she has thirteen. She would be so proud of every one of them, too. I think about how much I love my three nieces, and how it just swells my heart to be around them. Marma had four children, ten grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren in her time, along with scores of nieces and nephews and great-nieces and great-nephews, and I know she felt the same way about each and every one of them as I do about my nieces. What a huge heart my grandmother had.
She had stacks of papers next to the phone, and a ball point pen, which she would doodle with while she chatted. Doodling is perhaps too strong a word -- she drew circles, and traced them over and over again. That's it. She never wrote anything or drew anything else...every piece of paper within three feet of her phone was covered in thick blue circles. Once I reached the age in school where I was regularly taking notes, my papers became covered with circles, too.
When she finally got off the phone, she was all mine for the afternoon. We'd play cards for hours, and then we'd go to her couch, where I would lay with my head in her lap so she could scratch my back while we watched TV. Family Feud and The People's Court were our favorites.
I wonder how Marma would feel about Facebook. On the one hand, I think, she'd be pleased that we're able to so simply keep in touch with family members far and wide, and I know she'd love being able to see the pictures from our daily activities and anything else we may post there -- but on the other hand, I don't think she'd see the point. She'd be disappointed that we don't call each other more, especially now that long distance charges are a thing of the past. She is not the type of woman who would be happy to have a cell phone because she could talk anywhere -- that wasn't her style. She wanted to devote her full attention to her conversations, and she would consider it rude to try to have a conversation while grocery shopping.
I do think Marma would be pleased with our family, though. How the Massies so strongly identify with our Massiehood, and each other. The only great-grandchildren she knew were Ryan and Maggie, the oldest of their generation of Massies, but now she has thirteen. She would be so proud of every one of them, too. I think about how much I love my three nieces, and how it just swells my heart to be around them. Marma had four children, ten grandchildren, and two great-grandchildren in her time, along with scores of nieces and nephews and great-nieces and great-nephews, and I know she felt the same way about each and every one of them as I do about my nieces. What a huge heart my grandmother had.