Something I've been thinking about
A friend of mine said something interesting to me recently. He said, "Joe, you're the happiest person I know." I've been thinking about that, and I began to think about all my friends. I have a friend whose cousin was shot to death by a gang in his own house. He lost his own family's house when they couldn't afford to pay the rent, and is now currently living with his aunt, separated from his brothers and sister who live with other family members in Texas. I had a friend who, like the dumbass that he was, cut someone across the face with a knife and has been taking anger management classes for years because of it. He was always instigating fights around us. One time I even had to run from police with him because of another dumbass thing he did. I don't chill with him anymore. I lost a few friends after they started taking all kinds of the craziest drugs, with some dropping out of school and having no means of making a living now. I once had a friend whose life was ruined after he shoplifted alotta lotta money (we're talking Winona Ryder caliber,) from this one store and was caught. I could go on and on with all of the stories.
So when I reflect on this, I think yeah, maybe I am luckier than a lot of people. I consider myself a happy person in general, but I can get really depressed just like anyone else, sometimes unbearably. When I got back to Minnesota from Israel, most of my friends were gone. Most left for colleges in other states or for the army, so I only have a handful of good friends left here. It almost feels like the first part of my life is over because everyone is gone. I visited my old high school recently to get transcripts sent, and I didn't recognize all of the new faces. It felt weird not knowing anyone there, except for the seniors, of who many I was friends with during my senior year. So I looked around at all of the new faces that replaced me and my friends and all of my class, and it felt weird, and it actually made me feel kind of depressed. Sometimes I think I have everything, sometimes I think I have nothing. So I guess the reason a lot of people think I'm a really happy person, which I guess is true mostly, is because most of the time I am happy. But when I'm really depressed, I stay home and lie on the couch or my bed all day.
So when I reflect on this, I think yeah, maybe I am luckier than a lot of people. I consider myself a happy person in general, but I can get really depressed just like anyone else, sometimes unbearably. When I got back to Minnesota from Israel, most of my friends were gone. Most left for colleges in other states or for the army, so I only have a handful of good friends left here. It almost feels like the first part of my life is over because everyone is gone. I visited my old high school recently to get transcripts sent, and I didn't recognize all of the new faces. It felt weird not knowing anyone there, except for the seniors, of who many I was friends with during my senior year. So I looked around at all of the new faces that replaced me and my friends and all of my class, and it felt weird, and it actually made me feel kind of depressed. Sometimes I think I have everything, sometimes I think I have nothing. So I guess the reason a lot of people think I'm a really happy person, which I guess is true mostly, is because most of the time I am happy. But when I'm really depressed, I stay home and lie on the couch or my bed all day.