(no subject)
i finally got my hands on another film actually worth watching.
city of god was spectacular. the plot was so alive, and the characters increadibly deep. this movie has so much, and it goes to all the places one just hears about in an all too real way, it doesnt over do it... its got plenty of violence but not to a point where youre facing the horror of the actions... its more about the quality of life thats inexistant in this dog eat dog surrounding. i can just think of being unfortunate enough to have my life revolve arround such a setting and i feel that much more a part of this world knowing about such suffering that man seems to be forcing onto itself (i could say so much more about that...)
the movie's incredible, something about it just makes me want to pull this in deeper than any other work of art, i mean love actually? yeah youre nice... this isnt some romantasized fable and im not just saying it because its "based on true events" i can just start recalling all these documentaries ive had a chance to watch about malnutrition, ill treated orphans, drug addicted central american vagabonds. i can clearly remember this one dark skinned kid, dirty as hell, with crap all over his mouth huffing away at a jar of glue, or rubber cement... you can see his fucking eyes rolling around and him and his other street buddies tagging along the slums fucking high as hell because theres no other way they would rather be since theres isnt any other way they can possibly be other than facing the realities of pain and hunger, yeah the kid was about 7 years old.
i dont know what it is, but something about me has always recognized the advantage one has for being physically apt to almost any condition you can find yourself in... as a man, that may be instinct? i dont know its like i have this fever for being more conditioned than another to face any kind of survival test.
all this and i still want to recognize peace, freedom...
i got interested in this character called BENE translation. BENNY, he was such a cool guy. he was the sidekick of Lil' Ze little jose the most relentless killer you could imagine whos self destructive nature just outgrew him and was directed towards everything else which made him lose his impatience, not that he could ever be patient... a power hungry serpant ready to do just about anything for his own advancement, the contrast to BENE... such a cool, well collected, fun, easygoing and laid back confident character who just wanted to get out and live in a farm and smoke some weed with his girl for the rest of his life. dreams of peace and love... i want to be just like bene
still in the persuit to be anyone who seems in any way better than me, fictional characters as always... a representation of a real cat? im not sure... i cant say surely. i can just close my eyes and begin thinking of the next way i can begin to improve on myself, im not sure what that means to its entirety anymore, i dont know what i want next... if it were up to me my day would begin at around 6 or 7 when the sun is coming up, but it notibly still trying to set itself higher... id take deep breaths and jog for a bit, itd be coold and my body temperature would quickly rise like it always seems to do. id alterante between my long steps and short sprints and feel my cheeks flap around as i strain my face for them to stop , hold my breath until i feel like im going to pass out because im short of breath, and stop and walk on home ti take a big drink of water... id sit around and read for a bit, something that would advance my thoughts through out the day, im not sure what that would be, but i intend to know one day... follow through at outback where it wouldnt matter if i made a lot or a little. id finish my day off with some weights. i wish i were that methodical, and that the same process over and over again would never bore me, that i could be satisfied with having near to nothing... and being alone, i wish i had some artistic talent, that i could view things out of nothing, or draw things to pure imagination, but i dont have any of that, i have to look at something to be amazed, it gets tiring to pay attention to all these diffrent personalities in life that all seem to need and want something. i guess im quite alright not doing much talking, just trying to think... and following up on great physical achivements, and mental ones too. i hope this trance lasts
city of god was spectacular. the plot was so alive, and the characters increadibly deep. this movie has so much, and it goes to all the places one just hears about in an all too real way, it doesnt over do it... its got plenty of violence but not to a point where youre facing the horror of the actions... its more about the quality of life thats inexistant in this dog eat dog surrounding. i can just think of being unfortunate enough to have my life revolve arround such a setting and i feel that much more a part of this world knowing about such suffering that man seems to be forcing onto itself (i could say so much more about that...)
the movie's incredible, something about it just makes me want to pull this in deeper than any other work of art, i mean love actually? yeah youre nice... this isnt some romantasized fable and im not just saying it because its "based on true events" i can just start recalling all these documentaries ive had a chance to watch about malnutrition, ill treated orphans, drug addicted central american vagabonds. i can clearly remember this one dark skinned kid, dirty as hell, with crap all over his mouth huffing away at a jar of glue, or rubber cement... you can see his fucking eyes rolling around and him and his other street buddies tagging along the slums fucking high as hell because theres no other way they would rather be since theres isnt any other way they can possibly be other than facing the realities of pain and hunger, yeah the kid was about 7 years old.
i dont know what it is, but something about me has always recognized the advantage one has for being physically apt to almost any condition you can find yourself in... as a man, that may be instinct? i dont know its like i have this fever for being more conditioned than another to face any kind of survival test.
all this and i still want to recognize peace, freedom...
i got interested in this character called BENE translation. BENNY, he was such a cool guy. he was the sidekick of Lil' Ze little jose the most relentless killer you could imagine whos self destructive nature just outgrew him and was directed towards everything else which made him lose his impatience, not that he could ever be patient... a power hungry serpant ready to do just about anything for his own advancement, the contrast to BENE... such a cool, well collected, fun, easygoing and laid back confident character who just wanted to get out and live in a farm and smoke some weed with his girl for the rest of his life. dreams of peace and love... i want to be just like bene
still in the persuit to be anyone who seems in any way better than me, fictional characters as always... a representation of a real cat? im not sure... i cant say surely. i can just close my eyes and begin thinking of the next way i can begin to improve on myself, im not sure what that means to its entirety anymore, i dont know what i want next... if it were up to me my day would begin at around 6 or 7 when the sun is coming up, but it notibly still trying to set itself higher... id take deep breaths and jog for a bit, itd be coold and my body temperature would quickly rise like it always seems to do. id alterante between my long steps and short sprints and feel my cheeks flap around as i strain my face for them to stop , hold my breath until i feel like im going to pass out because im short of breath, and stop and walk on home ti take a big drink of water... id sit around and read for a bit, something that would advance my thoughts through out the day, im not sure what that would be, but i intend to know one day... follow through at outback where it wouldnt matter if i made a lot or a little. id finish my day off with some weights. i wish i were that methodical, and that the same process over and over again would never bore me, that i could be satisfied with having near to nothing... and being alone, i wish i had some artistic talent, that i could view things out of nothing, or draw things to pure imagination, but i dont have any of that, i have to look at something to be amazed, it gets tiring to pay attention to all these diffrent personalities in life that all seem to need and want something. i guess im quite alright not doing much talking, just trying to think... and following up on great physical achivements, and mental ones too. i hope this trance lasts