But it’s over now..go on and take a bow
[mood| 
indescribable ]
Well I think it’s time for me to come out of hibernation here in my journal. Sorry guys!
3 MONTHS! I think that’s the longest I haven’t updated in all my years. I keep telling myself “this is worthy of an update!” but never end up posting what I wanted to post, which sucks because I always have so much to say and now it’s almost jumbled in my mind. So let’s start from the beginning and I’ll try to pick out some events that happened from the last time I posted to now.
I’ve been in a whirlwind with my Twilight obsession since the last time I spoke to ya’ll and I’ve loved every minute of it. I’ve been watching up to the minute about the new Twilight set report or new article..you name it..I probably know what happened! From the beginning of filming to the end, I was around. It’s been an experience to be so into a book series like this and meet some people as obsessed as me. Hopefully by December that list will grow. It’s an awesome fandom - despite some bad seeds and a few drama
So the strain between me and a friend is still there. We’ve “made up” but it’s still not the same as before. It still hurts me, to think about all the things that have happened, so I try not to let it get to me. I’d like to stay positive.
I CUT MY HAIR! I actually faced my fear and got bangs! To those who’ve seen me in person already knows but still, it’s great to announce =P
For Jenny’s birthday back in March, I decided to take her to go see Phantom of the Opera at the OC Performing Arts Center. It was a really neat experience..and we got to meet the actors right after! (With a lot of running and speed)
I made Dean’s List again this year! Yay!
My 22nd birthday wasn’t as huge as my 21st, since I really didn’t have any large bash. I actually had class that day and wasn’t really up for celebrating too much. My department at work did however throw me a little lunch thing, which I’m thankful for. I’m really blessed to have great coworkers who took the time to do it. Jenny, Manuel, and Lorraine took me and Manuel to Disneyland to celebrate our May birthdays. Wonderful times with wonderful people, as usual. I’m still bummed because I haven’t gotten what I really wanted this year, which is Bella's Bracelet. I was hoping someone would have gotten it for me but unfortunately, nada. I guess I’ll just have to pull out my own moolah. It will be worth it though =D
I’ve been initiated into two academic honor societies this May: Honor Society of Phi Kappa Phi and Golden Keys International Honour Society. Really excited to be a part of these two organizations and all the interesting people I will meet.
Got to see Prince Caspian the first day it came out and I just have to declare my love for Ben Barnes. He is LOVE =)
I’m not going to lie. I’ve been having a hard time this quarter concentrating. My work load has been bigger and maybe it’s because I’m getting lazy that I haven’t been so efficient in getting things done. You could say I’m more stressed this quarter. I’m just going to stick it out until the end and hopefully start my last year with a burst of energy and a new method of putting myself together.
I met someone at one of the honor society initiations I attended. At first I had thought it was his girlfriend he came for (since he was surprisingly good looking) but it turned out to be his sister. What surprised me the most was how much we had in common and how easygoing it was talking to him. What surprised me even more was how attentive he was of me and how obvious he was getting out of his way to actually sit next to me and strike up a conversation. No guy has done that before and has actually held my attention. But he did. You could say he’s a lot different from my former and the otherI’m not getting too far of myself and say something will definitely happen but I’m not oblivious to a possibility. Who knows.
I hate to admit I still have those dreams. They are very vivid but I try not to let it get to me. It’s hard when you try to go on with your life and when you close your eyes your subconscious takes you back. I’d recount one recent one to you right now.
I’m walking along some cobblestones in a very green park. My feet take me to this empty bench and I sit down. I look up to see this very huge oak tree in front of me and notice a heart is carved in the middle of it. There are no initials in it, just a carving. I feel someone sit next to me but keep my eyes in the direction of the tree. I do not need to look to my side to know who it is.
“It’s going to rain soon.” He says.
“I’ll just sit here and wait it out.” I say.
“You don’t care if you get wet?” He says.
“No. I’d dance in it, if I wanted to.” I say.
He gives me a long look. “Me too,” he says.
No one spoke for a while.
“So tell me something no one knows.” He says.
I think for a moment and say, “I’m scared of graduating from college.”
He says nothing for a period of time. Until he replies with, “I’m scared of being a father.”
For the first time in this dream I turn to him. I told him I was scared of graduating from college. He told me he was scared of being a father. It was then I realized just how different our paths have taken us.
Without thinking I slid my hand into his. It always felt like a perfect fit to me. He intertwined his fingers with mine and looked at them. “It’ll always be like this, a perfect fit but not really.”
I try to slide my hand away but he holds on. “Don’t.” he says. “Not until I say it again.”
He looks at me and it’s the look I’ve always seen him wear every time he looked at me in dreams. Never in reality, always in dreams.
“I love you.”
I turn my head away to wipe some tears from my eyes and compose myself. Turning back to him I whisper, “And I wish this was real.”
indescribable ]
Well I think it’s time for me to come out of hibernation here in my journal. Sorry guys!
3 MONTHS! I think that’s the longest I haven’t updated in all my years. I keep telling myself “this is worthy of an update!” but never end up posting what I wanted to post, which sucks because I always have so much to say and now it’s almost jumbled in my mind. So let’s start from the beginning and I’ll try to pick out some events that happened from the last time I posted to now.
I’ve been in a whirlwind with my Twilight obsession since the last time I spoke to ya’ll and I’ve loved every minute of it. I’ve been watching up to the minute about the new Twilight set report or new article..you name it..I probably know what happened! From the beginning of filming to the end, I was around. It’s been an experience to be so into a book series like this and meet some people as obsessed as me. Hopefully by December that list will grow. It’s an awesome fandom - despite some bad seeds and a few drama
So the strain between me and a friend is still there. We’ve “made up” but it’s still not the same as before. It still hurts me, to think about all the things that have happened, so I try not to let it get to me. I’d like to stay positive.
I CUT MY HAIR! I actually faced my fear and got bangs! To those who’ve seen me in person already knows but still, it’s great to announce =P
For Jenny’s birthday back in March, I decided to take her to go see Phantom of the Opera at the OC Performing Arts Center. It was a really neat experience..and we got to meet the actors right after! (With a lot of running and speed)
I made Dean’s List again this year! Yay!
My 22nd birthday wasn’t as huge as my 21st, since I really didn’t have any large bash. I actually had class that day and wasn’t really up for celebrating too much. My department at work did however throw me a little lunch thing, which I’m thankful for. I’m really blessed to have great coworkers who took the time to do it. Jenny, Manuel, and Lorraine took me and Manuel to Disneyland to celebrate our May birthdays. Wonderful times with wonderful people, as usual. I’m still bummed because I haven’t gotten what I really wanted this year, which is Bella's Bracelet. I was hoping someone would have gotten it for me but unfortunately, nada. I guess I’ll just have to pull out my own moolah. It will be worth it though =D
I’ve been initiated into two academic honor societies this May: Honor Society of Phi Kappa Phi and Golden Keys International Honour Society. Really excited to be a part of these two organizations and all the interesting people I will meet.
Got to see Prince Caspian the first day it came out and I just have to declare my love for Ben Barnes. He is LOVE =)
I’m not going to lie. I’ve been having a hard time this quarter concentrating. My work load has been bigger and maybe it’s because I’m getting lazy that I haven’t been so efficient in getting things done. You could say I’m more stressed this quarter. I’m just going to stick it out until the end and hopefully start my last year with a burst of energy and a new method of putting myself together.
I met someone at one of the honor society initiations I attended. At first I had thought it was his girlfriend he came for (since he was surprisingly good looking) but it turned out to be his sister. What surprised me the most was how much we had in common and how easygoing it was talking to him. What surprised me even more was how attentive he was of me and how obvious he was getting out of his way to actually sit next to me and strike up a conversation. No guy has done that before and has actually held my attention. But he did. You could say he’s a lot different from my former and the otherI’m not getting too far of myself and say something will definitely happen but I’m not oblivious to a possibility. Who knows.
I hate to admit I still have those dreams. They are very vivid but I try not to let it get to me. It’s hard when you try to go on with your life and when you close your eyes your subconscious takes you back. I’d recount one recent one to you right now.
I’m walking along some cobblestones in a very green park. My feet take me to this empty bench and I sit down. I look up to see this very huge oak tree in front of me and notice a heart is carved in the middle of it. There are no initials in it, just a carving. I feel someone sit next to me but keep my eyes in the direction of the tree. I do not need to look to my side to know who it is.
“It’s going to rain soon.” He says.
“I’ll just sit here and wait it out.” I say.
“You don’t care if you get wet?” He says.
“No. I’d dance in it, if I wanted to.” I say.
He gives me a long look. “Me too,” he says.
No one spoke for a while.
“So tell me something no one knows.” He says.
I think for a moment and say, “I’m scared of graduating from college.”
He says nothing for a period of time. Until he replies with, “I’m scared of being a father.”
For the first time in this dream I turn to him. I told him I was scared of graduating from college. He told me he was scared of being a father. It was then I realized just how different our paths have taken us.
Without thinking I slid my hand into his. It always felt like a perfect fit to me. He intertwined his fingers with mine and looked at them. “It’ll always be like this, a perfect fit but not really.”
I try to slide my hand away but he holds on. “Don’t.” he says. “Not until I say it again.”
He looks at me and it’s the look I’ve always seen him wear every time he looked at me in dreams. Never in reality, always in dreams.
“I love you.”
I turn my head away to wipe some tears from my eyes and compose myself. Turning back to him I whisper, “And I wish this was real.”