All Mixed Up
Chatted with Benjamin this morning, after 10 months of not hearing from him at all. I know the length of time, because it was just before his birthday....And dates & times are important to me in an almost obsessive way :p
I had a strong physical reaction when I saw his message pop up on my screen. I began to shake, I felt nauseated, cold sweat, etc. I felt the color leave my face. I was talking with Troy on the phone at the time, and I told him that I had to call him back. I couldn't concentrate on what he was saying. I'm not even sure how I got the words out because I felt like I was literally out of my mind. I said "OMG" a million times. After a few more seconds passed, I thought I was going to throw up.
The odd thing is that I felt great, emotionally. I was SO happy to hear from him. Eager to catch up with him. Glad to know that he's okay. Pleased, thankful, touched that he still thinks of me. As always, he made me smile & laugh. All those months of not hearing from him were washed away.
When Troy came home, my conversation with Benjamin was over & I had started tidying up a bit. He could tell that I wasn't physically well. I was still shaky, and apparently a bit pale. I told him that I had heard from Benjamin & felt immediately better. Huh.
A few hours later, I was reflecting on the conversation & felt ill all over again. Felt great emotionally, though.
I can't sort out why my emotions aren't matching my physical symptoms. It's disconcerting.
I had a strong physical reaction when I saw his message pop up on my screen. I began to shake, I felt nauseated, cold sweat, etc. I felt the color leave my face. I was talking with Troy on the phone at the time, and I told him that I had to call him back. I couldn't concentrate on what he was saying. I'm not even sure how I got the words out because I felt like I was literally out of my mind. I said "OMG" a million times. After a few more seconds passed, I thought I was going to throw up.
The odd thing is that I felt great, emotionally. I was SO happy to hear from him. Eager to catch up with him. Glad to know that he's okay. Pleased, thankful, touched that he still thinks of me. As always, he made me smile & laugh. All those months of not hearing from him were washed away.
When Troy came home, my conversation with Benjamin was over & I had started tidying up a bit. He could tell that I wasn't physically well. I was still shaky, and apparently a bit pale. I told him that I had heard from Benjamin & felt immediately better. Huh.
A few hours later, I was reflecting on the conversation & felt ill all over again. Felt great emotionally, though.
I can't sort out why my emotions aren't matching my physical symptoms. It's disconcerting.