ASSHOLE DAY.
I'm really starting to think today is asshole day, you know the national holiday where everyones mission for the day is to make everyone else's like completely miserable by being a complete and utter DOUCHE BAG! Lets list off the daily events that lead me to this conclusion. First. I leave for work all excited that I was 10 minutes early for once in my life, wicked excited, nice, so i decided to go to Dunkin Donuts and get a coffee, and see my little ray of sunshine, Meaghan, before work which leads to asshole moment number 1. people are fucking dumb and dont know how to drive. I understand that the drive thru line is ridiculously long, but is there any reason that dumb people have to line up in the road, like going all the way down cowesette ave? Yeah, great, peachy, have fun being the 90th person in the drive thru line, and while you're at it, enjoy being a complete dumb fuck and blocking the entrance for everyone else who wants a freakin coffee and a fresh, warm, gooey, glazed donut. So i didnt get my coffee, because by the time i was like the 87th person in line and was actually in the DD parking lot i was no longer 10 minutes early i was 3 minutes late, which sucks, so i turn around and head towards 295 north, hitting every freakin red light on rt 2, making me even more late. So i finally drive into work, and nearly kill the tard getting carriages, walk in about 10:04 whoooo 4 minutes late, i'm a rebel, and my phone is ringing, so i answer it "Walmart portrait studio, laura speaking, how may i help you" and its my fucking moronic manager who doesnt know his elbow from his penis, "You're supposed to say "Walmart portrait studo, laura speaking, how may i be of service to you". ok. so i ask him whats the difference and he made up some dumb ass retarded excuse about how it just sounds better, i really dont know, i tuned his high pitchy womanly voice out. and then he was like "I didnt get a page this morning, you're supposed to page me when you get in" HOLY FREAKIN CRAP. its 10:04 and even when i do page him he never responds so the one time i dont page him 4 freakin minutes late he flips out, and then he started kissing my bum, which i think is funny, asking me how my birthday was and if i got anything good, yeah because at 10:04 in the morning, with no coffee in my system, and running on very little sleep, with a splitting headache, having small talk with Roy is first on my list, then as soon as i hang up, i get a customer calling trying to make an appointment, so i tell her she can come in when ever because i had no scheduled appointments, then, oh this i freakin love, "What packages do you offer" you're going to be here in like 30 minutes, you cant wait until i can show you the prices and sizes, now you have to have me tell you over the phone and then ask this "How big is a 10x13", WTF. because im going to orb a 10x13 through the phone so you can see, dumbass.So she comes in late, and i get all excited because her 2 year old in the carriage is laughing and giggling and smiling at me, so i'm like YEEEEESSSS this will be easy, AS SOON AS SHE SET HIM ON THE POSER he start screeeeeaaaaaaaming, louder than banshee screams, these were like the sounds of someone being tortured, and i tried everything, i'm a giant dork, it doesnt take me long to make a crying baby laugh i usually never fail, but i tried everything including hitting myself repeatedly in the heat with the wooden fishing pole, which by the way, hurts, a lot especially when you already have a peircing headache and some toddler is screaming like they're being murdered. So i take one picture that doesnt look like hes screaming or crying or about to throw himself off the poser, and she said no i dont want it. FUCKING BITCH. Someone is aboout to call the cops thinking i'm abusing this kid, and i want you out of my studio. but no. i'm too nice, so i take about 3892734753260873 million more pictures, until she says this and i love this "Did you erase the first one"....... YES. i fucking erased the first one, thats how it works, you say no, it erases. GOOOOD! so finally i get one, and when she puts him back into the carriage, and he starts freakin laughing again and asking for "fishies" which sounds like hes saying "feces" and munches on his goldfish just laughing and giggling away, seriously, i wanted to pick him out of the carriage and throw him into oncoming traffic! So they finally leave, after by the way a freakin hour and a half sitting normal sittings only last 20- 45 minutes, yeah, i'm a little pissed. So i go get some beef jerky, and a pink lemonade, sit down with my iPod and read my book, yum yum yum this makes me happy. Stupid fucking mexican people who dont understand english come in, and ask me to explain the packages, So i slow down and speak retard to them and explain the packages like 5 times, and then he says "I dont understand" so lol i get really frusrated and told him that i'm closed and and leave for lunch 15 minutes early. Finally get my freakin coffee, take a little napppie in my car, and then go back for my 3 pm appt, which was fun, sold a lot, and then my 4:30 comes in. The guy was a fucking scum bag, his wife is right there, 5 month old baby with him, which im trying to take a picture of, and theres this guy looking right at me, and then at my ass the ENTIRE freakin 35 minute sitting, finally after catching him in the act, i say "Its nice huh?" totally sarcastically and wicked in front of his wife,HA. take that scummy piece of snapping turtle. ok after that it wasnt so bad, i had a 5:30 appt who only bought the 5.88 but i know they're coming back, yay! and then i went home and here i am sitting here, in my pj's listeing to music and typing this epic long account of my shitty day, so heres what i suggest, I say Fuck shitty days! just fuck em!