Stuff done by one sex and not the other
Okay for this I'm only talking about heterosexuals. I also know that this is the 21st century and there are plenty of women who enjoy doing stereotypically 'manly' things like playing with fire or power tools or going cliff diving. There are also plenty of men that enjoy doing stereotypically 'girly' things such as baking cookies or shopping (even GASP! for shoes). However even as a feminist I must admit there are some traits that are still peculiar to one sex or another exclusively. I'll avoid discussing the obvious biological or fashion related categories and instead discuss the annoying or bizarre behaviors that belong exclusively to men or to women.
Things done by many women but no men:
1) Using a tissue box cover. (I have no idea why we do this, tissues come in a perfectly good box to begin with).
2) Making a fancy centerpiece for a dinner party. (I feel like women who do this need to focus more on the cooking and less on how the table looks).
3) Putting candelabras on the table. (According to my dad this is annoying because it makes it hard to read the sports page at the table).
4) Planning surprise parties (okay this one isn't annoying but it is fair to say that guys don't do it. The closest they ever do is show up at someone's house unexpectedly with a six pack of PBR).
5) Get baby shoes bronzed. (The truly cutesy-wutesy seems to belong only to women. Personally I think we should only engage in this activity if we have a legitimate need for another paper weight).
6) Have a puppies and kittens calendar. (Okay I'll admit that they're cute but twelve months of them seems a bit excessive).
7) Use 'fat' as a synonym for depressed: As in "I'm feeling fat today." (This is one of the most annoying things we do because it blurs the line between physical and emotional characteristics and implies that it's impossible for fat people to be happy)
8) Willingly watch Disney Princess movies after the age of ten. (Note: For this example Aladdin doesn't count as a Disney Princess movie because it's about more than just Jasmine, Sleeping Beauty and all the rest of them, however, do).
9) Put little charm thingies on our cell phones. (I don't why we do this, probably as an excuse for more things that look like cute puppies and kittens).
10) Allow someone to put hot wax near our reason for existence (We undergo this painful process in the name or hair removal. There are guys who also engage in 'shrub management' but they seem to feel like they can do well enough with a razor).
Things done by many men but no women:
1) Bumping their friend's car, with their own car, deliberately, while both cars are moving. (I don't know why they do this but I know they usually regret the decision to try this on anyone female).
2) Taking aim at their neighbor's cat, with a slingshot. (Guys seem to think animal cruelty doesn't count when it was done with a slingshot).
3) Pouring sour cream down the butt crack on their passed out friend. (I still haven't worked out why a supposedly straight male would want to spend that much time looking at the ass of another male).
4) Grabbing their crotch in public (most women learn that this is considered impolite by the time we turn 7, most men seem to have missed that lesson).
5) Have contests over genitalia. (Everybody's heard of the infamous measuring contests but I am also sad to say I have witnessed a 'numb-nuts' contest. It involved two guys seeming who could immerse his testicles in a snow-melt fed creek for the longest).
6) Listen to Meatloaf. (They can't seem to work out that girls don't like listening to some creepy fat guy singing about how he's praying for the end of time).
7) Make a big deal over not being the first to put on a jacket. (At some point admitting that you're cold became unmanly which doesn't make sense. If a guy is cold he should just put on a jacket and get it over with).
8) Name their genitalia (Most guys name their penises. Most of them choose something narcissistic and unoriginal like 'Spike'. I have yet to encounter a girl who has named her vagina).
9) Be over the age of 15 and continue to spit in public. (The only reason a girl past this age would spit in public is if a bug flew into her mouth).
10) Cop a feel and then run like hell. (Girls sometimes also make inappropriate grabs but we stick around to see what happens rather than running like scared kangaroos.)
Things done by many women but no men:
1) Using a tissue box cover. (I have no idea why we do this, tissues come in a perfectly good box to begin with).
2) Making a fancy centerpiece for a dinner party. (I feel like women who do this need to focus more on the cooking and less on how the table looks).
3) Putting candelabras on the table. (According to my dad this is annoying because it makes it hard to read the sports page at the table).
4) Planning surprise parties (okay this one isn't annoying but it is fair to say that guys don't do it. The closest they ever do is show up at someone's house unexpectedly with a six pack of PBR).
5) Get baby shoes bronzed. (The truly cutesy-wutesy seems to belong only to women. Personally I think we should only engage in this activity if we have a legitimate need for another paper weight).
6) Have a puppies and kittens calendar. (Okay I'll admit that they're cute but twelve months of them seems a bit excessive).
7) Use 'fat' as a synonym for depressed: As in "I'm feeling fat today." (This is one of the most annoying things we do because it blurs the line between physical and emotional characteristics and implies that it's impossible for fat people to be happy)
8) Willingly watch Disney Princess movies after the age of ten. (Note: For this example Aladdin doesn't count as a Disney Princess movie because it's about more than just Jasmine, Sleeping Beauty and all the rest of them, however, do).
9) Put little charm thingies on our cell phones. (I don't why we do this, probably as an excuse for more things that look like cute puppies and kittens).
10) Allow someone to put hot wax near our reason for existence (We undergo this painful process in the name or hair removal. There are guys who also engage in 'shrub management' but they seem to feel like they can do well enough with a razor).
Things done by many men but no women:
1) Bumping their friend's car, with their own car, deliberately, while both cars are moving. (I don't know why they do this but I know they usually regret the decision to try this on anyone female).
2) Taking aim at their neighbor's cat, with a slingshot. (Guys seem to think animal cruelty doesn't count when it was done with a slingshot).
3) Pouring sour cream down the butt crack on their passed out friend. (I still haven't worked out why a supposedly straight male would want to spend that much time looking at the ass of another male).
4) Grabbing their crotch in public (most women learn that this is considered impolite by the time we turn 7, most men seem to have missed that lesson).
5) Have contests over genitalia. (Everybody's heard of the infamous measuring contests but I am also sad to say I have witnessed a 'numb-nuts' contest. It involved two guys seeming who could immerse his testicles in a snow-melt fed creek for the longest).
6) Listen to Meatloaf. (They can't seem to work out that girls don't like listening to some creepy fat guy singing about how he's praying for the end of time).
7) Make a big deal over not being the first to put on a jacket. (At some point admitting that you're cold became unmanly which doesn't make sense. If a guy is cold he should just put on a jacket and get it over with).
8) Name their genitalia (Most guys name their penises. Most of them choose something narcissistic and unoriginal like 'Spike'. I have yet to encounter a girl who has named her vagina).
9) Be over the age of 15 and continue to spit in public. (The only reason a girl past this age would spit in public is if a bug flew into her mouth).
10) Cop a feel and then run like hell. (Girls sometimes also make inappropriate grabs but we stick around to see what happens rather than running like scared kangaroos.)