[super junior] the island of nowhere
The Island of Nowhere by catskilt
eeteuk/kangin/heechul, with copious amounts of eunhyuk/donghae/kibum
pg; 15437 words
what was meant to be a quiet trip of self-recovery to a tiny, nondescript island in the mediterranean is overturned by noisy, bawdy fellow travellers (also apparently on the path to self-recovery) and unconventional cabin boys.
a huge thank you to amaelamin_, ky_rin, and wobaozhewo for the editing and hand-holding and cheerleading. the idea for this fic was partly inspired by a book title, the Chapel At The Edge Of The World, but is otherwise spun out of my unimaginative mind. please ignore all geographical and logical inaccuracies. written for troisbang.
The Island of Nowhere
The time has come to talk of many things - of shoes and ships, and sealing wax; of cabbages and kings.
… …
The next morning, Jungsu wakes up with a very bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.
It might be leftover hunger from last night's terrible dinner of bread and lumpy soup, but he's sure that it is a bad feeling that is far more sinister than hunger, not to say that hunger itself isn't sinister enough already. Or the cause of it. In the early light of a gentle, beckoning, swaying morning, he faces the reality of being on an tiny rickety ship in the middle of the sea far from any immediate help from people who are sane enough to have stayed put on land.
The next moment he pukes onto the floor, mostly saliva and water, and the cook from last night, a thin, bright-eyed boy with more gums than lips, comes in and shoves a pill down his throat saying it'll make him feel better. Jungsu doesn't quite believe him. No amount of little medicinal solids is going to make this very bad sinister feeling go away. He wants to tell the thin smiling boy so, but he passes out before he can talk.
That, his sub-conscious mind decides, is probably the best thing that could happen to him right now.
… …
When Jungsu wakes up again the very bad sinister feeling has muted into something bearably unpleasant, and he thinks that maybe he should try testing his body's centre of balance. He manoeuvres himself into a sitting position, and it isn't that bad, at least not in the instantly pukey way that it was the day before.
Someone comes into his room. It's the same thin smiling boy from this morning, and he looks much the same in his loose white shirt and baggy pants except that now Jungsu no longer wants to bash his face in. "Oh, you're up," he says. "Would you like to walk along the deck? You'll feel even better then."
"I feel hungry," Jungsu says cautiously, because he still remembers how lumpy the soup had been.
"We have fried chicken," says the boy enticingly.
"Oh, uh," Jungsu pauses, running through his mind the various possible ways in which fried chicken can be ruined.
The boy guesses though, and grins. He doesn't look too evil, actually, and now that Jungsu's more capable of objective observation, he notices that the boy's teeth isn't as pointed as he'd imagined them to be two nights ago. "Don't worry," says the boy. "Our real cook stopped being sick, so he's cooking things again. I was just a stand-in!"
"Ah, okay," Jungsu says, and immediately feels much better about the entire journey in general.
He wobbles out of the cabin and up the narrow flight of stairs to the deck. The boy slips away with promises of fried chicken and Jungsu walks slowly down the length of the deck, breathes in the fresh sea breezes and watches the rollicking waves on the sea. He can't remember when he last had time to appreciate the sea, or thought of it as anything else other than a large body of undrinkable water. He hasn't had time for anything much over the past two years aside from sitting at the helm of his father's company and putting out a dozen fires. He taps his fingers on the railings and sighs at the thought of the mountain of emails he'll be sure to receive in his inbox when he returns to the desk a month from now, all the CCs and BCCs, and he only realises that someone's standing beside him when that someone clears his throat.
"Hi," says the someone, a strong-looking guy with a smile that reaches to his eyes. "I don't know if you remember me. We sat together at the dismal supper a night ago."
Jungsu blinks and forces his mind into recall. There had been exactly eight of them at that supper; a starry-eyed honeymooning couple who'd no eyes nor ears for anyone but themselves, a dour old man who was a veteran of two wars, a girly looking young man, two shy girls who hadn't dared to say anything beyond "hello", himself, and oh. Kim Youngwoon. Jungsu remembers now. "Youngwoon-sshi," he says, and is rewarded with another eye-smile.
"Have you been sick below all this while?" Youngwoon says.
"Yeah. I'm not used to being on the sea."
"Nearly everyone has been sick," says Youngwoon. "I would have been too, considering how shitty this boat is. But I don't have motion sickness."
"The boy gave me something," Jungsu says. "Some seasickness pill…I guess it worked."
"What boy?"
"That boy, ah," Jungsu says, raising his nose to sniff at the air. "There he is."
Boy comes with a plate of fried chicken and obligingly opens two deckchairs for them. Jungsu's not very sure what job he holds. Before today, Boy had been identified in his mind as Horrible Cook. But cooks don't open deckchairs and issue seasickness pills, and so perhaps Boy is really Cabin Boy, otherwise Boy Of All Dirty Work.
"Thanks, Hyukjae," says Youngwoon, and Boy Of All Dirty Work suddenly gets a proper name.
"Poor kid," Youngwoon says when Hyukjae disappears down the stairs. "He was really upset about that supper. It's not his fault, you know. He's not the proper cook, and nobody wanted to let the other cabin boy near the kitchen."
"You seem pretty familiar with the crew," Jungsu remarks.
"Of course," Youngwoon says. "I didn't have anyone else to talk to yesterday. Hyukjae's a good kid. I told him about the honeymooning couple pissing me off because they kept making a lot of noise, I mean, I didn't tell him why they were noisy because he's sort of below legal age, but basically they wouldn't stop going at it in their bunk. Dude, I wouldn't have an issue with that except that the woman can't seem to stop shrieking. So he transferred me to another cabin, and I can actually sleep now."
He beams and Jungsu's not sure what he's more confused about, the honeymooning couple's lack of seasickness or the fact that this miniscule ship has extra cabins. "Where are you going?" he asks eventually, because it's not polite to remain silent when someone is being friendly.
"Same place you are, I suppose, since this ship is headed in one direction," Youngwoon says, stealing a piece of fried chicken from his plate. "Island of Nowhere."
Jungsu bites into a drumstick. It's juicy and surprisingly good. The Island of Nowhere, that's a nice way of putting it. He wouldn't have expected that strong, cheerful guys like Youngwoon would have any need to get to an Island of Nowhere. Don't strong, cheerful guys like that always have Somewhere to go? But then, he reasons, it's not like he's really a typical candidate of the type of tourist the Island of Nowhere would get, either. He hasn't indulged in any real physical activity for ages and he's not the yoga-meditation type. He gives up the train of thought. Some things are better off not being analysed. Sometimes you should just sit and enjoy your fried chicken without questioning why you're enjoying it. Sometimes you should just go to an Island of Nowhere without wondering why exactly you're going there.
… …
The Island of Nowhere had appeared one day on the store display of the travelling agency opposite the eatery he usually lunches at when he's not stuck in a lunchtime meeting. Of course, it had had a proper name, something foreign and Mediterranean sounding, the kind that evokes images of blue seas and stunning beachfronts and luxurious vacation yachts and rich Westerners with their sexy trophy girlfriends, but the name belied its appearance. There was nothing there. At least, nothing that would attract the rich Westerners with their sexy girlfriends. At that moment, Jungsu thought that 'nothing' sounded incredibly ideal.
"Does it have an airport?" he asked the travel agent, and was told that no, the island was too tiny to have an airport. You would need to go by sea from Nice. It's not serviced by the luxury vacation cruise companies but there's a small passenger ship that goes there regularly. We can book a place for you on it, it's a five day trip, good food guaranteed, you could think of it as a sort of cruise. Very nice, sir. Perfect for a getaway, if you don't mind a little inconvenience. It's not like they have KBS World and Apple there, haha.
"It has a hotel at least, I hope?"
One hotel, which Jungsu decided to trust had running water and modern amenities. He'd intended to take the pamphlet of the Island of Nowhere home and give it some serious thought, and that was what he would normally have done, but he was so tired that day that he decided to make the payment on the spot. After all, he could always cancel his booking if he suddenly developed a taste for Rome instead.
"Oh, by the way, sir," the travelling agent said as he was about to exit the shop, "there's a chapel there. Right by the sea, sir, very special. It was built during the second world war by German soldiers. It's one of the chief attractions of (Island With A Mediterranean Sounding Name). Locals say that the chapel is where prayers are truly heard."
"Sounds good," said Jungsu, but he'd really been thinking, 'huh'. It wasn't like he cared whether there was a chapel or a synagogue or a Hindu temple on that island. He wasn't going there to pray.
Now, though, sitting on the deck with the sea breeze on his cheeks, he wonders about that chapel. What would it be like, the place where prayers are still heard? It is intriguing. Churches these days are sometimes so noisy with their worshipping that he's sure God gets a headache trying to keep up.
… …
There are two boys serving them during dinner that night, the smiley Hyukjae and a chubby-cheeked, sad-eyed boy whom Youngwoon addresses as 'Donghae'. Donghae is cute, almost unbearably so. When he drops a spoon onto the dour old man, he gets a forgiving curl of the lips. Jungsu thinks the old man would have patted Donghae's head, too, if not for the fear of being suspected of perverted intentions. When Donghae cuts his finger while helping one of the shy girls carve up her chicken, however, Jungsu thinks he can understand why Donghae isn't allowed near the kitchen.
"I think I shall ask them to make fish tomorrow," Youngwoon says in between mouthfuls of chicken and salad. The food is, happily, extremely good. Jungsu is thankful that that much of the Island of Nowhere's tourism campaign has turned out to be true. "I mean," Youngwoon goes on, "we're in the middle of the sea and all we've had so far is chicken. I think we should get some seafood."
"I don't think it's part of Hyukjae and Donghae's job description to throw fishing nets over the side of the boat," Jungsu says.
"They might," says Youngwoon. "Value-added services."
There are only six of them at the dining table. Jungsu wonders where the girly looking guy is. He doesn't seem the type to be seasick prone.
"Maybe tonight we can watch a movie," Youngwoon says. "Donghae told me that there's a little movie room near the cabins. He didn't say what kind of movies they have, but we should be able to find something. You're not picky about the movies you watch, right?"
"Not really," says Jungsu. It will be a novelty watching a movie. He can't remember the last one he managed to finish watching without his handphone blaring.
"Back home I have a whole wall filled with DVDs," Youngwoon chatters on. "My mum collects them. Has them all over the place sometimes. She likes those really sappy romance ones. You know, where there's something tearing apart the main couple but in the end they get together and there's a lot of crying everywhere and music and then they get married. Those kind."
"My mum likes those too," Jungsu says. "She watches them every day. Actually, I think they're more like dramas than movies. They seem to have many episodes."
"Ah, yeah," Youngwoon says. "Dramas. She watches them and cries. Why would anyone cry over something on TV?"
"It's a feel-good kind of crying, I suppose?" Jungsu says.
"But if you want to feel good, isn't it better to laugh?"
"Who knows," Jungsu shrugs. "In any case, she feels good after it. I guess it's good to be able to do something that makes you feel good."
Youngwoon suddenly sighs. He has been so full of quick chat and eye-smiles and loud laughter that Jungsu doesn't process for a moment that Youngwoon had sighed. When he looks up, though, Youngwoon is smiling again. "Yeah," he agrees. "Anything that makes you happy, huh?"
Hyukjae leads them to the movie room after supper, but they don't manage to watch anything after all. The honeymooning couple had gotten there before them and they don't have to open the door in order to know what they're doing inside. Jungsu has newfound sympathy for Youngwoon's experiences with the woman's shrieking. They haul Hyukjae back to the innocence of the kitchen, go up to the deck and spend the night sitting side by side watching the black sky. Youngwoon tells him stories that makes him laugh; that's a novelty too, he can't remember the last time he laughed so much.
Day two is almost over, and he finds himself thinking that maybe this trip wasn't such a bad idea after all; holistic rejuvenation of mind and body and soul and all that good stuff.
Youngwoon's spinning stories about blue-faced pilots who fly in bowls.
… …
Girly Guy makes an appearance at breakfast the next day and Jungsu feels so relieved to see him, somehow, that he beams a little too enthusiastically and earns himself a weirded out stare.
"How would you like your eggs done, Heechul-sshi?" Hyukjae asks, holding a ratty looking menu in his hands.
"I don't want eggs," Heechul says.
"Toast?"
"No."
"Bacon?"
"No."
"Pancakes?"
"No."
"Uh, rice and kimchi?"
"A small bowl," Heechul says, and Hyukjae flees.
Jungsu pokes at his sunny side up egg and is happy to see the yolk flowing out as per his instructions to Donghae. If nothing else, the cabin boys on this ship seem to be excellent instruction-carriers.
"Haven't seen you around. Have you been sick all this while?" Youngwoon asks Heechul, which is very brave of him considering that Heechul looks anything but chatty.
"No," says Heechul shortly. "I don't get seasick."
"Oh," Youngwoon says. "Neither do I, but I can imagine how bad it feels."
"Like you want to puke up all over the floor," Jungsu chips in, partly because he admires Youngwoon's courage and partly because his experience with seasickness has left him eager to lament it for the rest of his life.
"I don't need to know such details," Heechul says, in a tone that clearly indicates please shut up now.
Youngwoon is undeterred. "How long are you planning to stay on the Island of Nowhere?"
Heechul seems vaguely interested. "Island of Nowhere?"
"That's what I call it," Youngwoon says, "because the real name is really hard to pronounce."
"Oh," says Heechul. "Why do you want to know?"
"Making conversation," says Youngwoon.
"I don't make conversation," Heechul says snappily.
Youngwoon blinks for a moment, and Jungsu re-focuses on his leaking yolk. "I'm sorry," says Youngwoon. "Didn't know you were such a jerk."
Jungsu thinks that Youngwoon has just sentenced himself to certain death. That's sad. He was almost beginning to like Youngwoon, and there's nobody else on the ship he cares to talk to unless it's Hyukjae and Donghae and they're too busy running around being cute and dropping cutlery on passengers.
"I'm a jerk in the mornings," Heechul says, and Jungsu is pleasantly surprised to hear amusement in his voice.
"We shall ignore you till the afternoon, then," Youngwoon says, which is really very nice of him because it shows that he has a forgiving spirit.
Jungsu has a stomach-ache that afternoon. He thinks it might have been the bacon's fault. Can he sue for negligence of hygiene in the kitchen? But if he sues the crew, that means that he'll implicate Donghae and Hyukjae and he's really quite fond of them now, especially since they're taking turns tip-toeing into his cabin with hot drinks. Donghae tells him that the heat of the drinks will "chase the air in his stomach away", which Jungsu suspects is a hand-me-down theory from his grandmother.
Hyukjae feeds him another pill that makes him sleepy. He should buy a box of Hyukjae's pills when he disembarks; they would be useful when he's back in the real world. Donghae sits beside him and pats his forehead and it feels so good having someone sitting with you when you're feeling sick. Despite all its shortcomings in the kitchen, this ship really offers excellent service. He means to tell Donghae so, but he falls asleep before he does and anyway, he thinks, he's showing gratitude by withdrawing the lawsuit idea.
… …
He wakes up to a different face. "Who are you?" he says to the boy who's clearing away the dirty mugs.
The boy hurriedly turns to bow his head. "I'm Kibum," he says. "How are you feeling, Jungsu-sshi?"
"Much better," Jungsu says, sitting up. "Why haven't I seen you around before?"
"I was taking care of another passenger who was very seasick," Kibum says. "I hope you don't mind me coming into your room, sir. The steward sent me to clear your mugs since Donghae and Hyukjae are busy scrubbing the dining room."
"Ah, no. It's okay." Jungsu gets out of bed. "Thank you."
When he gets out on the deck he sees Heechul and Youngwoon leaning over the railings peering into the sea. "…great catch, I would say," he hears Youngwoon saying as he approaches them.
"Would be good to have codfish," Heechul says. "I'm sick of chicken."
"Or maybe some salmon," Youngwoon says. "I wonder if they know how to prepare sashimi. Or do you think we can trust them to prepare raw food?"
"I don't think you can find salmon in the Mediterranean," Jungsu says. They turn their heads to look at him.
"Oh yeah?" Youngwoon says in tones of disappointment. "I was really craving some sashimi."
"I would like some internet," Heechul says. "You'd imagine that in this day and age, ships would come outfitted with internet connectivity."
"I don't think internet fits in with the general concept of the Island of Nowhere," Jungsu says cautiously, because he's still not quite certain whether Heechul is out of the biting phase.
"Why did I even come on this trip in the first place?" Heechul grumbles, collapsing into one of the deckchairs that have helpfully been opened for them by an inconspicuous Kibum. "I must have been out of my mind."
Jungsu sits down, too, and he has a feeling that he should be showing sympathy, but he's too happy with the limitless blue sky and the foam that the ship is forming on the waves to be overly bothered about the lack of internet and the possibility of approximately 300 emails in his inbox. Youngwoon, on the other hand, puts on his sunglasses and spreads his arms out on the railings in the attitude of an enthusiastic listener. "Why did you come on this trip? Come on. Sharing time."
"In a misguided moment, I thought I was sick of civilisation," Heechul says.
"But you're not?"
"I just want an internet connection right now."
"To do what with?"
"To check my email."
Youngwoon bursts out laughing so infectiously that it makes Jungsu laugh too. "To check your email? Heechul-sshi, didn't figure you for an internet geek."
"I have many areas of my life that don't happen to revolve around the internet," Heechul says loftily. "Anyway, bad things happened and I was on a run from my old life and contemplating living on the edge of society. I mean, literally the edge, like going up a mountain and becoming a hermit pondering on the importance of life and writing a few poems with a brush. But I've never studied calligraphy and anyway mountains don't have proper sanitation, so I'm here."
"Hard to transport beer up mountains too," Youngwoon says, while Jungsu tries to unravel the main point of Heechul's narrative.
"At least this way, I get beer, sanitation, and a place for quiet contemplation," Heechul says in a concluding sort of tone.
Youngwoon grins happily. "I made the same equation too."
They both look expectantly at Jungsu, and he realises that it's his turn for sharing. "Er," he says. "I got tired of working, so I decided to give myself a holiday. My father passed away two years ago from a sudden heart attack leaving his almost-bankrupt company in my hands, so it was a rough time trying to get everything back into order."
"I bet you did it though," Youngwoon says, sounding impressed.
"Hardly saw the sun for a whole year, in fact. In the office before sunrise, out of the office after midnight, six and a half working days a week, that was my life. My doctor calls it emotional and mental exhaustion. I think he just means burn out."
"Wow," says Heechul. "We're a bunch of sad bastards, aren't we?"
"That's the whole point." Youngwoon smashes his fist onto the railing in a show of determination and then immediately freezes when the ship makes a strange noise. "Shit, did I break it?"
They listen intensely for a few moments, but the strange noise doesn't happen again and Jungsu motions for Youngwoon to continue. He looks vastly relieved. "Anyway, as I was saying, that's the whole point of this trip. We might be bastards, but we're not going to be sad anymore."
"Yeah," says Jungsu enthusiastically because Youngwoon looks so fired up.
"Come to think of it, I might have gained fame and fortune out of those poems and flown first-class to the Mediterranean instead of being stuck on this disgrace to marine engineering," Heechul says sadly.
… …
That evening after dinner, Jungsu lingers by the dining table reading a Wikipedia printout of the Island of Nowhere that the ship's steward had given him. Inhabited mostly by farmers and fishermen, the island was captured in 1940 by the Nazi army and used as one of the holding grounds for German troops en route to North Africa. Re-captured by the Allies in 1942 during the Torch offensive, the islanders were evacuated to France and the island was converted into a prisoner of war camp for the Germans until the end of the war three years later.
Attempts to boost the tourism of the island began in the late 90s with a low success rate. Surrounded by glitzy cities with reputations for luring the rich and famous, nobody was interested in a tiny island that really boasted only of stunning seascapes and a chapel built by German soldiers over fifty years ago, said to be the one place left on earth where prayers are truly heard. The few people who do go there are backpackers or mostly normal everyday folk in search of a respite from the stressful lives of city dwellers. It is, according to Some Famous Traveller's testimonial, 'the perfect getaway and nurturing environment for self-recovery'.
Jungsu snorts derisively, and immediately Donghae's head pokes in through the door. "Is there anything I can help you with, Jungsu-sshi?"
"No…yes," Jungsu says confusedly. "Have you been to (Island With A Mediterranean Sounding Name), Donghae?"
"Of course," Donghae says, inserting his body into the dining room. "Hyukjae and Kibum and me, we always go onshore for a week every month. You'll like it, sir. The people there are really really nice!"
Jungsu looks at him curiously. "How long have you been working on this ship?"
"Almost two and a half years, sir."
"What made you choose this job?"
"I didn't choose it, it was given to me," Donghae says solemnly. "I wanted to be on a big cruise ship, but Minsung hyung - that's the captain of this ship, you know - gave me a job on this one and I like it pretty well. I get to go onshore at the island every month, and I like being with Hyukjae and Kibum. We're all orphans. We don't have any home to go back to, so this ship is like our home."
Jungsu blinks. "You're all orphans?"
"Minsung hyung is Kibummie's oldest cousin," Donghae says confidentially. "He got his cousin to give Hyukjae and me this job because we were all friends at the orphanage."
"Oh." Jungsu puts the pamphlet down on the table. "But you can't spend your entire life on this ship, can you? You still need to get a proper education."
Donghae shrugs. "None of us can afford a proper education. It's okay for us this way, you know, Jungsu-sshi. We like working together."
Jungsu lets him go then, because he says that he needs to help Hyukjae with the dishwashing. He wanders into the leisure room where Youngwoon and Heechul are huddled by the window playing cards and chugging down beer. "It would appear that our three helpers have a pretty sad history," he says, and tells them what Donghae had revealed.
"Oh," says Heechul blankly. "Isn't there some kind of law against withholding boys from a proper education by employing them as full-time menial task doers?"
"Well, it's not like they're being mistreated or anything," Youngwoon says doubtfully, taking another swig at his beer bottle. "They have the opportunity to become sailors, and they are educated up to the minimum requirement. Hyukjae's eyes got all shiny and big when he saw my collection of Lord of the Rings books, so I let him have it. They can read."
Jungsu gives him a look calculated to chastise. "If boys of fourteen or fifteen can't read, that would be a real problem, not to say that they don't already have real problems."
"Oh well." Heechul puts his cards facedown on the table and stretches. "It's not like we can save the world, can we?"
"I don't think I'd want to save the world," Youngwoon says. "Too much trouble. I'd rather go down with it."
They play three more rounds of cards before the beer runs out and they get sick of the game. Heechul says he's dying for some fresh air, so they climb up onto the main deck with bright plans of taking a stroll and "admiring the moon above the waters", according to Youngwoon. They're stopped five steps into their admiration of the moon when they encounter the silhouettes of the honeymooning couple leaning against the railings, the guy behind the girl, both moving in ways that are quite assuredly anything but PG-rated.
"The hell, on the railings?!" Youngwoon spits in disgust as they scramble down the stairs back to the lower deck. In their haste they knock over Kibum and Donghae and, by association, the late night snacks that they'd presumably been in the process of ferrying up to the couple. Donghae cries a bit at the sight of the broken crackers tumbled all over the floor, but Heechul calms him down with reassurances that the couple had just told him two minutes ago that they don't want the snacks anymore.
"But we still need to clean up the floor," Kibum says miserably, and Donghae gives a big sniffle for, it would seem, added emphasis, though Jungsu's sure that Donghae's not deliberate like that.
"Don't worry, we'll clean it up for you," Heechul says, grabbing both their wrists and dragging them in the direction of the crew's quarters. When they're safely out of hearing distance, he drops down onto the bottom stair and heaves a huge exaggerated sigh. "Can't risk them bumping into those porn actors up there, can we?"
"I'd say," Youngwoon agrees darkly. "It's past three o'clock already anyway, what the hell is that couple doing ordering those poor kids around at this time? Aren't they entitled to some rest? And what were they even thinking, fucking against the railings for the kids to see? They can go hungry for all I care, those two crazy humpers."
"Presidents of the rabid rabbit society," Heechul snarls.
"Inconsiderate assholes."
"Malignant growths on humanity."
"Public fucking nuisances."
"Viagra abusers."
Jungsu looks curiously at Heechul and Youngwoon crouched together sweeping the crackers into a neat pile on the floor. There's a sort of warmth about it that he can't define, and can't really place except that it reminds him of the day in middle school when he'd skipped class with a couple of friends to race each other on motorbikes at an arcade. It was a good memory. He would like to stay in this warmth for a while more, but Heechul's snapping at him to stop standing there, come help them with the mess, and so he does.
… …
On the morning of the fifth day, Hyukjae announces during breakfast that they'll be arriving at the Island of Nowhere at approximately eleven-thirty that morning. He sounds so happy and excited that Youngwoon gets happy and excited too.
"Hey, it means that we're going to get on land and land means that we get to laze by the swimming pool and order sashimi from room service," he argues against Jungsu and Heechul's raised eyebrows. "We should go out on the deck and watch for our first glimpse of it. It's supposed to be a monumental moment, you know, the first glimpse of land after days of open sea."
"Whatever," Heechul says. "I'm going back to my cabin and sleeping until we dock."
So, half an hour later, Jungsu and Youngwoon find themselves sans Heechul hanging over the railings along with all the other passengers, waiting for the monumental moment while toting all shapes and sizes of digital cameras. Youngwoon has an old, 7.1 megapixel Canon camera which he insists still serves its purpose well; Jungsu has an SLR which he'd nicked from his company's PR department. "They have another SLR," he shrugs. "My departments are well equipped."
"Do you think people usually take cameras along on self-recovery trips?" Youngwoon wonders.
When the Island of Nowhere finally comes into view, they snap about twenty pictures in total before they get tired of finding new angles to picture a slab of green, hilly land. It's very pretty, Jungsu has to admit, rising up from the sea like that, and the white houses scattered along the hills makes it even prettier, but as Youngwoon says, the quaint, charming other-worldliness of the whole place is making them doubtful that their hotel will have a swimming pool and sashimi on the room service menu.
"It seems like they would look down on such civilised stuff," Youngwoon opines gloomily. "What if all they have is home-grown seasonal greens or something? I'll have to wait a month till I'm back in Seoul for my salmon."
"I don't understand your confidence that they would serve a fish that's not even found in these waters," Jungsu says. "Seriously, do you think they would import salmon?"
"Can't they have fish farms where they breed fish?" Youngwoon argues.
"Youngwoon-sshi, you're on a self-recovery trip! You're not here to eat salmon sashimi."
"I don't know," Youngwoon says as they make their way towards Heechul's cabin to show him the pictures. "I think salmon sashimi would be very beneficial to my self-recovery."
They enter Heechul's cabin to find Hyukjae sitting on top of Heechul's luggage on the floor, eyes wide and mouth open in an expression of beatified wonderment. He snaps to attention when they walk in and Heechul looks up lazily from his bed. "You know, it would have been nice if you'd knocked before walking in. What's up?"
"We wanted to show you our professional pictures of the Island of Nowhere," Jungsu explains as Youngwoon ruffles up Hyukjae's hair. "But what are you doing with our Hyukjae?"
"He came in to thank me for helping Kibummie and Donghae last night," Heechul says, pushing himself up into a sitting position. "Said they were really tired because they'd worked from six…ah, you tell them yourself."
Hyukjae obliges. "We woke up at five-thirty yesterday morning because there was something wrong with the ship's engines and Minsung hyung called us to help out in the engine room. We were so busy that we only managed to go to bed after midnight so when Sangho-sshi rang our bell to ask us to serve him and his wife some snacks, we were really sad…"
"See?" Heechul interrupts indignantly. "That couple should be thrown overboard. We're near the island anyway, so they can swim to it if they want to survive."
Youngwoon drapes an arm around Hyukjae, who fluffs up happily under all the attention. "This hyung wasn't scaring you when we walked in, was he? You can tell us, we'll help you get revenge on him if he was."
"I wasn't scaring him," Heechul says. "I was telling him about Seoul."
"It sounds wonderful," Hyukjae says with a touch of wistfulness in his voice. "I'd like to see a great, big school. Is it true, Jungsu-sshi, that they will teach you everything?"
Just then the steward, passing by outside, notices Hyukjae and abruptly puts his head in. He greets everyone politely and follows it up with a sharp instruction in words that Jungsu has never heard before, but they make Hyukjae jump like he was shot. "Sorry sorrysorry," he stumbles, bobbing hastily at them before running out of the cabin. The steward turns to Heechul apologetically. "I'm so sorry, sir, that he was bothering you. He'll receive a strict warning from the captain."
"He wasn't bothering me…" Heechul begins, but the steward's already gone. They stare for a moment at the empty corridor beyond the open door.
"I suppose it's against the rules for them to hang around chatting with the passengers," Jungsu says.
"Damn this ship," Youngwoon grumbles, sitting down on the luggage. It groans ominously under his weight and Heechul glares daggers at him until he moves down onto the floor. "Peeling paint, engine trouble, weird chefs, chicken every day, energizer bunnies disguised as a honeymooning couple, kids being overworked…I can't wait to get off this floating wreck."
"May the Island of Nowhere prove more hospitable to our delicate constitutions," Heechul says, devout as a prayer, and they all bow their heads in a silent amen.
>>>
eeteuk/kangin/heechul, with copious amounts of eunhyuk/donghae/kibum
pg; 15437 words
what was meant to be a quiet trip of self-recovery to a tiny, nondescript island in the mediterranean is overturned by noisy, bawdy fellow travellers (also apparently on the path to self-recovery) and unconventional cabin boys.
a huge thank you to amaelamin_, ky_rin, and wobaozhewo for the editing and hand-holding and cheerleading. the idea for this fic was partly inspired by a book title, the Chapel At The Edge Of The World, but is otherwise spun out of my unimaginative mind. please ignore all geographical and logical inaccuracies. written for troisbang.
The Island of Nowhere
The time has come to talk of many things - of shoes and ships, and sealing wax; of cabbages and kings.
… …
The next morning, Jungsu wakes up with a very bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.
It might be leftover hunger from last night's terrible dinner of bread and lumpy soup, but he's sure that it is a bad feeling that is far more sinister than hunger, not to say that hunger itself isn't sinister enough already. Or the cause of it. In the early light of a gentle, beckoning, swaying morning, he faces the reality of being on an tiny rickety ship in the middle of the sea far from any immediate help from people who are sane enough to have stayed put on land.
The next moment he pukes onto the floor, mostly saliva and water, and the cook from last night, a thin, bright-eyed boy with more gums than lips, comes in and shoves a pill down his throat saying it'll make him feel better. Jungsu doesn't quite believe him. No amount of little medicinal solids is going to make this very bad sinister feeling go away. He wants to tell the thin smiling boy so, but he passes out before he can talk.
That, his sub-conscious mind decides, is probably the best thing that could happen to him right now.
… …
When Jungsu wakes up again the very bad sinister feeling has muted into something bearably unpleasant, and he thinks that maybe he should try testing his body's centre of balance. He manoeuvres himself into a sitting position, and it isn't that bad, at least not in the instantly pukey way that it was the day before.
Someone comes into his room. It's the same thin smiling boy from this morning, and he looks much the same in his loose white shirt and baggy pants except that now Jungsu no longer wants to bash his face in. "Oh, you're up," he says. "Would you like to walk along the deck? You'll feel even better then."
"I feel hungry," Jungsu says cautiously, because he still remembers how lumpy the soup had been.
"We have fried chicken," says the boy enticingly.
"Oh, uh," Jungsu pauses, running through his mind the various possible ways in which fried chicken can be ruined.
The boy guesses though, and grins. He doesn't look too evil, actually, and now that Jungsu's more capable of objective observation, he notices that the boy's teeth isn't as pointed as he'd imagined them to be two nights ago. "Don't worry," says the boy. "Our real cook stopped being sick, so he's cooking things again. I was just a stand-in!"
"Ah, okay," Jungsu says, and immediately feels much better about the entire journey in general.
He wobbles out of the cabin and up the narrow flight of stairs to the deck. The boy slips away with promises of fried chicken and Jungsu walks slowly down the length of the deck, breathes in the fresh sea breezes and watches the rollicking waves on the sea. He can't remember when he last had time to appreciate the sea, or thought of it as anything else other than a large body of undrinkable water. He hasn't had time for anything much over the past two years aside from sitting at the helm of his father's company and putting out a dozen fires. He taps his fingers on the railings and sighs at the thought of the mountain of emails he'll be sure to receive in his inbox when he returns to the desk a month from now, all the CCs and BCCs, and he only realises that someone's standing beside him when that someone clears his throat.
"Hi," says the someone, a strong-looking guy with a smile that reaches to his eyes. "I don't know if you remember me. We sat together at the dismal supper a night ago."
Jungsu blinks and forces his mind into recall. There had been exactly eight of them at that supper; a starry-eyed honeymooning couple who'd no eyes nor ears for anyone but themselves, a dour old man who was a veteran of two wars, a girly looking young man, two shy girls who hadn't dared to say anything beyond "hello", himself, and oh. Kim Youngwoon. Jungsu remembers now. "Youngwoon-sshi," he says, and is rewarded with another eye-smile.
"Have you been sick below all this while?" Youngwoon says.
"Yeah. I'm not used to being on the sea."
"Nearly everyone has been sick," says Youngwoon. "I would have been too, considering how shitty this boat is. But I don't have motion sickness."
"The boy gave me something," Jungsu says. "Some seasickness pill…I guess it worked."
"What boy?"
"That boy, ah," Jungsu says, raising his nose to sniff at the air. "There he is."
Boy comes with a plate of fried chicken and obligingly opens two deckchairs for them. Jungsu's not very sure what job he holds. Before today, Boy had been identified in his mind as Horrible Cook. But cooks don't open deckchairs and issue seasickness pills, and so perhaps Boy is really Cabin Boy, otherwise Boy Of All Dirty Work.
"Thanks, Hyukjae," says Youngwoon, and Boy Of All Dirty Work suddenly gets a proper name.
"Poor kid," Youngwoon says when Hyukjae disappears down the stairs. "He was really upset about that supper. It's not his fault, you know. He's not the proper cook, and nobody wanted to let the other cabin boy near the kitchen."
"You seem pretty familiar with the crew," Jungsu remarks.
"Of course," Youngwoon says. "I didn't have anyone else to talk to yesterday. Hyukjae's a good kid. I told him about the honeymooning couple pissing me off because they kept making a lot of noise, I mean, I didn't tell him why they were noisy because he's sort of below legal age, but basically they wouldn't stop going at it in their bunk. Dude, I wouldn't have an issue with that except that the woman can't seem to stop shrieking. So he transferred me to another cabin, and I can actually sleep now."
He beams and Jungsu's not sure what he's more confused about, the honeymooning couple's lack of seasickness or the fact that this miniscule ship has extra cabins. "Where are you going?" he asks eventually, because it's not polite to remain silent when someone is being friendly.
"Same place you are, I suppose, since this ship is headed in one direction," Youngwoon says, stealing a piece of fried chicken from his plate. "Island of Nowhere."
Jungsu bites into a drumstick. It's juicy and surprisingly good. The Island of Nowhere, that's a nice way of putting it. He wouldn't have expected that strong, cheerful guys like Youngwoon would have any need to get to an Island of Nowhere. Don't strong, cheerful guys like that always have Somewhere to go? But then, he reasons, it's not like he's really a typical candidate of the type of tourist the Island of Nowhere would get, either. He hasn't indulged in any real physical activity for ages and he's not the yoga-meditation type. He gives up the train of thought. Some things are better off not being analysed. Sometimes you should just sit and enjoy your fried chicken without questioning why you're enjoying it. Sometimes you should just go to an Island of Nowhere without wondering why exactly you're going there.
… …
The Island of Nowhere had appeared one day on the store display of the travelling agency opposite the eatery he usually lunches at when he's not stuck in a lunchtime meeting. Of course, it had had a proper name, something foreign and Mediterranean sounding, the kind that evokes images of blue seas and stunning beachfronts and luxurious vacation yachts and rich Westerners with their sexy trophy girlfriends, but the name belied its appearance. There was nothing there. At least, nothing that would attract the rich Westerners with their sexy girlfriends. At that moment, Jungsu thought that 'nothing' sounded incredibly ideal.
"Does it have an airport?" he asked the travel agent, and was told that no, the island was too tiny to have an airport. You would need to go by sea from Nice. It's not serviced by the luxury vacation cruise companies but there's a small passenger ship that goes there regularly. We can book a place for you on it, it's a five day trip, good food guaranteed, you could think of it as a sort of cruise. Very nice, sir. Perfect for a getaway, if you don't mind a little inconvenience. It's not like they have KBS World and Apple there, haha.
"It has a hotel at least, I hope?"
One hotel, which Jungsu decided to trust had running water and modern amenities. He'd intended to take the pamphlet of the Island of Nowhere home and give it some serious thought, and that was what he would normally have done, but he was so tired that day that he decided to make the payment on the spot. After all, he could always cancel his booking if he suddenly developed a taste for Rome instead.
"Oh, by the way, sir," the travelling agent said as he was about to exit the shop, "there's a chapel there. Right by the sea, sir, very special. It was built during the second world war by German soldiers. It's one of the chief attractions of (Island With A Mediterranean Sounding Name). Locals say that the chapel is where prayers are truly heard."
"Sounds good," said Jungsu, but he'd really been thinking, 'huh'. It wasn't like he cared whether there was a chapel or a synagogue or a Hindu temple on that island. He wasn't going there to pray.
Now, though, sitting on the deck with the sea breeze on his cheeks, he wonders about that chapel. What would it be like, the place where prayers are still heard? It is intriguing. Churches these days are sometimes so noisy with their worshipping that he's sure God gets a headache trying to keep up.
… …
There are two boys serving them during dinner that night, the smiley Hyukjae and a chubby-cheeked, sad-eyed boy whom Youngwoon addresses as 'Donghae'. Donghae is cute, almost unbearably so. When he drops a spoon onto the dour old man, he gets a forgiving curl of the lips. Jungsu thinks the old man would have patted Donghae's head, too, if not for the fear of being suspected of perverted intentions. When Donghae cuts his finger while helping one of the shy girls carve up her chicken, however, Jungsu thinks he can understand why Donghae isn't allowed near the kitchen.
"I think I shall ask them to make fish tomorrow," Youngwoon says in between mouthfuls of chicken and salad. The food is, happily, extremely good. Jungsu is thankful that that much of the Island of Nowhere's tourism campaign has turned out to be true. "I mean," Youngwoon goes on, "we're in the middle of the sea and all we've had so far is chicken. I think we should get some seafood."
"I don't think it's part of Hyukjae and Donghae's job description to throw fishing nets over the side of the boat," Jungsu says.
"They might," says Youngwoon. "Value-added services."
There are only six of them at the dining table. Jungsu wonders where the girly looking guy is. He doesn't seem the type to be seasick prone.
"Maybe tonight we can watch a movie," Youngwoon says. "Donghae told me that there's a little movie room near the cabins. He didn't say what kind of movies they have, but we should be able to find something. You're not picky about the movies you watch, right?"
"Not really," says Jungsu. It will be a novelty watching a movie. He can't remember the last one he managed to finish watching without his handphone blaring.
"Back home I have a whole wall filled with DVDs," Youngwoon chatters on. "My mum collects them. Has them all over the place sometimes. She likes those really sappy romance ones. You know, where there's something tearing apart the main couple but in the end they get together and there's a lot of crying everywhere and music and then they get married. Those kind."
"My mum likes those too," Jungsu says. "She watches them every day. Actually, I think they're more like dramas than movies. They seem to have many episodes."
"Ah, yeah," Youngwoon says. "Dramas. She watches them and cries. Why would anyone cry over something on TV?"
"It's a feel-good kind of crying, I suppose?" Jungsu says.
"But if you want to feel good, isn't it better to laugh?"
"Who knows," Jungsu shrugs. "In any case, she feels good after it. I guess it's good to be able to do something that makes you feel good."
Youngwoon suddenly sighs. He has been so full of quick chat and eye-smiles and loud laughter that Jungsu doesn't process for a moment that Youngwoon had sighed. When he looks up, though, Youngwoon is smiling again. "Yeah," he agrees. "Anything that makes you happy, huh?"
Hyukjae leads them to the movie room after supper, but they don't manage to watch anything after all. The honeymooning couple had gotten there before them and they don't have to open the door in order to know what they're doing inside. Jungsu has newfound sympathy for Youngwoon's experiences with the woman's shrieking. They haul Hyukjae back to the innocence of the kitchen, go up to the deck and spend the night sitting side by side watching the black sky. Youngwoon tells him stories that makes him laugh; that's a novelty too, he can't remember the last time he laughed so much.
Day two is almost over, and he finds himself thinking that maybe this trip wasn't such a bad idea after all; holistic rejuvenation of mind and body and soul and all that good stuff.
Youngwoon's spinning stories about blue-faced pilots who fly in bowls.
… …
Girly Guy makes an appearance at breakfast the next day and Jungsu feels so relieved to see him, somehow, that he beams a little too enthusiastically and earns himself a weirded out stare.
"How would you like your eggs done, Heechul-sshi?" Hyukjae asks, holding a ratty looking menu in his hands.
"I don't want eggs," Heechul says.
"Toast?"
"No."
"Bacon?"
"No."
"Pancakes?"
"No."
"Uh, rice and kimchi?"
"A small bowl," Heechul says, and Hyukjae flees.
Jungsu pokes at his sunny side up egg and is happy to see the yolk flowing out as per his instructions to Donghae. If nothing else, the cabin boys on this ship seem to be excellent instruction-carriers.
"Haven't seen you around. Have you been sick all this while?" Youngwoon asks Heechul, which is very brave of him considering that Heechul looks anything but chatty.
"No," says Heechul shortly. "I don't get seasick."
"Oh," Youngwoon says. "Neither do I, but I can imagine how bad it feels."
"Like you want to puke up all over the floor," Jungsu chips in, partly because he admires Youngwoon's courage and partly because his experience with seasickness has left him eager to lament it for the rest of his life.
"I don't need to know such details," Heechul says, in a tone that clearly indicates please shut up now.
Youngwoon is undeterred. "How long are you planning to stay on the Island of Nowhere?"
Heechul seems vaguely interested. "Island of Nowhere?"
"That's what I call it," Youngwoon says, "because the real name is really hard to pronounce."
"Oh," says Heechul. "Why do you want to know?"
"Making conversation," says Youngwoon.
"I don't make conversation," Heechul says snappily.
Youngwoon blinks for a moment, and Jungsu re-focuses on his leaking yolk. "I'm sorry," says Youngwoon. "Didn't know you were such a jerk."
Jungsu thinks that Youngwoon has just sentenced himself to certain death. That's sad. He was almost beginning to like Youngwoon, and there's nobody else on the ship he cares to talk to unless it's Hyukjae and Donghae and they're too busy running around being cute and dropping cutlery on passengers.
"I'm a jerk in the mornings," Heechul says, and Jungsu is pleasantly surprised to hear amusement in his voice.
"We shall ignore you till the afternoon, then," Youngwoon says, which is really very nice of him because it shows that he has a forgiving spirit.
Jungsu has a stomach-ache that afternoon. He thinks it might have been the bacon's fault. Can he sue for negligence of hygiene in the kitchen? But if he sues the crew, that means that he'll implicate Donghae and Hyukjae and he's really quite fond of them now, especially since they're taking turns tip-toeing into his cabin with hot drinks. Donghae tells him that the heat of the drinks will "chase the air in his stomach away", which Jungsu suspects is a hand-me-down theory from his grandmother.
Hyukjae feeds him another pill that makes him sleepy. He should buy a box of Hyukjae's pills when he disembarks; they would be useful when he's back in the real world. Donghae sits beside him and pats his forehead and it feels so good having someone sitting with you when you're feeling sick. Despite all its shortcomings in the kitchen, this ship really offers excellent service. He means to tell Donghae so, but he falls asleep before he does and anyway, he thinks, he's showing gratitude by withdrawing the lawsuit idea.
… …
He wakes up to a different face. "Who are you?" he says to the boy who's clearing away the dirty mugs.
The boy hurriedly turns to bow his head. "I'm Kibum," he says. "How are you feeling, Jungsu-sshi?"
"Much better," Jungsu says, sitting up. "Why haven't I seen you around before?"
"I was taking care of another passenger who was very seasick," Kibum says. "I hope you don't mind me coming into your room, sir. The steward sent me to clear your mugs since Donghae and Hyukjae are busy scrubbing the dining room."
"Ah, no. It's okay." Jungsu gets out of bed. "Thank you."
When he gets out on the deck he sees Heechul and Youngwoon leaning over the railings peering into the sea. "…great catch, I would say," he hears Youngwoon saying as he approaches them.
"Would be good to have codfish," Heechul says. "I'm sick of chicken."
"Or maybe some salmon," Youngwoon says. "I wonder if they know how to prepare sashimi. Or do you think we can trust them to prepare raw food?"
"I don't think you can find salmon in the Mediterranean," Jungsu says. They turn their heads to look at him.
"Oh yeah?" Youngwoon says in tones of disappointment. "I was really craving some sashimi."
"I would like some internet," Heechul says. "You'd imagine that in this day and age, ships would come outfitted with internet connectivity."
"I don't think internet fits in with the general concept of the Island of Nowhere," Jungsu says cautiously, because he's still not quite certain whether Heechul is out of the biting phase.
"Why did I even come on this trip in the first place?" Heechul grumbles, collapsing into one of the deckchairs that have helpfully been opened for them by an inconspicuous Kibum. "I must have been out of my mind."
Jungsu sits down, too, and he has a feeling that he should be showing sympathy, but he's too happy with the limitless blue sky and the foam that the ship is forming on the waves to be overly bothered about the lack of internet and the possibility of approximately 300 emails in his inbox. Youngwoon, on the other hand, puts on his sunglasses and spreads his arms out on the railings in the attitude of an enthusiastic listener. "Why did you come on this trip? Come on. Sharing time."
"In a misguided moment, I thought I was sick of civilisation," Heechul says.
"But you're not?"
"I just want an internet connection right now."
"To do what with?"
"To check my email."
Youngwoon bursts out laughing so infectiously that it makes Jungsu laugh too. "To check your email? Heechul-sshi, didn't figure you for an internet geek."
"I have many areas of my life that don't happen to revolve around the internet," Heechul says loftily. "Anyway, bad things happened and I was on a run from my old life and contemplating living on the edge of society. I mean, literally the edge, like going up a mountain and becoming a hermit pondering on the importance of life and writing a few poems with a brush. But I've never studied calligraphy and anyway mountains don't have proper sanitation, so I'm here."
"Hard to transport beer up mountains too," Youngwoon says, while Jungsu tries to unravel the main point of Heechul's narrative.
"At least this way, I get beer, sanitation, and a place for quiet contemplation," Heechul says in a concluding sort of tone.
Youngwoon grins happily. "I made the same equation too."
They both look expectantly at Jungsu, and he realises that it's his turn for sharing. "Er," he says. "I got tired of working, so I decided to give myself a holiday. My father passed away two years ago from a sudden heart attack leaving his almost-bankrupt company in my hands, so it was a rough time trying to get everything back into order."
"I bet you did it though," Youngwoon says, sounding impressed.
"Hardly saw the sun for a whole year, in fact. In the office before sunrise, out of the office after midnight, six and a half working days a week, that was my life. My doctor calls it emotional and mental exhaustion. I think he just means burn out."
"Wow," says Heechul. "We're a bunch of sad bastards, aren't we?"
"That's the whole point." Youngwoon smashes his fist onto the railing in a show of determination and then immediately freezes when the ship makes a strange noise. "Shit, did I break it?"
They listen intensely for a few moments, but the strange noise doesn't happen again and Jungsu motions for Youngwoon to continue. He looks vastly relieved. "Anyway, as I was saying, that's the whole point of this trip. We might be bastards, but we're not going to be sad anymore."
"Yeah," says Jungsu enthusiastically because Youngwoon looks so fired up.
"Come to think of it, I might have gained fame and fortune out of those poems and flown first-class to the Mediterranean instead of being stuck on this disgrace to marine engineering," Heechul says sadly.
… …
That evening after dinner, Jungsu lingers by the dining table reading a Wikipedia printout of the Island of Nowhere that the ship's steward had given him. Inhabited mostly by farmers and fishermen, the island was captured in 1940 by the Nazi army and used as one of the holding grounds for German troops en route to North Africa. Re-captured by the Allies in 1942 during the Torch offensive, the islanders were evacuated to France and the island was converted into a prisoner of war camp for the Germans until the end of the war three years later.
Attempts to boost the tourism of the island began in the late 90s with a low success rate. Surrounded by glitzy cities with reputations for luring the rich and famous, nobody was interested in a tiny island that really boasted only of stunning seascapes and a chapel built by German soldiers over fifty years ago, said to be the one place left on earth where prayers are truly heard. The few people who do go there are backpackers or mostly normal everyday folk in search of a respite from the stressful lives of city dwellers. It is, according to Some Famous Traveller's testimonial, 'the perfect getaway and nurturing environment for self-recovery'.
Jungsu snorts derisively, and immediately Donghae's head pokes in through the door. "Is there anything I can help you with, Jungsu-sshi?"
"No…yes," Jungsu says confusedly. "Have you been to (Island With A Mediterranean Sounding Name), Donghae?"
"Of course," Donghae says, inserting his body into the dining room. "Hyukjae and Kibum and me, we always go onshore for a week every month. You'll like it, sir. The people there are really really nice!"
Jungsu looks at him curiously. "How long have you been working on this ship?"
"Almost two and a half years, sir."
"What made you choose this job?"
"I didn't choose it, it was given to me," Donghae says solemnly. "I wanted to be on a big cruise ship, but Minsung hyung - that's the captain of this ship, you know - gave me a job on this one and I like it pretty well. I get to go onshore at the island every month, and I like being with Hyukjae and Kibum. We're all orphans. We don't have any home to go back to, so this ship is like our home."
Jungsu blinks. "You're all orphans?"
"Minsung hyung is Kibummie's oldest cousin," Donghae says confidentially. "He got his cousin to give Hyukjae and me this job because we were all friends at the orphanage."
"Oh." Jungsu puts the pamphlet down on the table. "But you can't spend your entire life on this ship, can you? You still need to get a proper education."
Donghae shrugs. "None of us can afford a proper education. It's okay for us this way, you know, Jungsu-sshi. We like working together."
Jungsu lets him go then, because he says that he needs to help Hyukjae with the dishwashing. He wanders into the leisure room where Youngwoon and Heechul are huddled by the window playing cards and chugging down beer. "It would appear that our three helpers have a pretty sad history," he says, and tells them what Donghae had revealed.
"Oh," says Heechul blankly. "Isn't there some kind of law against withholding boys from a proper education by employing them as full-time menial task doers?"
"Well, it's not like they're being mistreated or anything," Youngwoon says doubtfully, taking another swig at his beer bottle. "They have the opportunity to become sailors, and they are educated up to the minimum requirement. Hyukjae's eyes got all shiny and big when he saw my collection of Lord of the Rings books, so I let him have it. They can read."
Jungsu gives him a look calculated to chastise. "If boys of fourteen or fifteen can't read, that would be a real problem, not to say that they don't already have real problems."
"Oh well." Heechul puts his cards facedown on the table and stretches. "It's not like we can save the world, can we?"
"I don't think I'd want to save the world," Youngwoon says. "Too much trouble. I'd rather go down with it."
They play three more rounds of cards before the beer runs out and they get sick of the game. Heechul says he's dying for some fresh air, so they climb up onto the main deck with bright plans of taking a stroll and "admiring the moon above the waters", according to Youngwoon. They're stopped five steps into their admiration of the moon when they encounter the silhouettes of the honeymooning couple leaning against the railings, the guy behind the girl, both moving in ways that are quite assuredly anything but PG-rated.
"The hell, on the railings?!" Youngwoon spits in disgust as they scramble down the stairs back to the lower deck. In their haste they knock over Kibum and Donghae and, by association, the late night snacks that they'd presumably been in the process of ferrying up to the couple. Donghae cries a bit at the sight of the broken crackers tumbled all over the floor, but Heechul calms him down with reassurances that the couple had just told him two minutes ago that they don't want the snacks anymore.
"But we still need to clean up the floor," Kibum says miserably, and Donghae gives a big sniffle for, it would seem, added emphasis, though Jungsu's sure that Donghae's not deliberate like that.
"Don't worry, we'll clean it up for you," Heechul says, grabbing both their wrists and dragging them in the direction of the crew's quarters. When they're safely out of hearing distance, he drops down onto the bottom stair and heaves a huge exaggerated sigh. "Can't risk them bumping into those porn actors up there, can we?"
"I'd say," Youngwoon agrees darkly. "It's past three o'clock already anyway, what the hell is that couple doing ordering those poor kids around at this time? Aren't they entitled to some rest? And what were they even thinking, fucking against the railings for the kids to see? They can go hungry for all I care, those two crazy humpers."
"Presidents of the rabid rabbit society," Heechul snarls.
"Inconsiderate assholes."
"Malignant growths on humanity."
"Public fucking nuisances."
"Viagra abusers."
Jungsu looks curiously at Heechul and Youngwoon crouched together sweeping the crackers into a neat pile on the floor. There's a sort of warmth about it that he can't define, and can't really place except that it reminds him of the day in middle school when he'd skipped class with a couple of friends to race each other on motorbikes at an arcade. It was a good memory. He would like to stay in this warmth for a while more, but Heechul's snapping at him to stop standing there, come help them with the mess, and so he does.
… …
On the morning of the fifth day, Hyukjae announces during breakfast that they'll be arriving at the Island of Nowhere at approximately eleven-thirty that morning. He sounds so happy and excited that Youngwoon gets happy and excited too.
"Hey, it means that we're going to get on land and land means that we get to laze by the swimming pool and order sashimi from room service," he argues against Jungsu and Heechul's raised eyebrows. "We should go out on the deck and watch for our first glimpse of it. It's supposed to be a monumental moment, you know, the first glimpse of land after days of open sea."
"Whatever," Heechul says. "I'm going back to my cabin and sleeping until we dock."
So, half an hour later, Jungsu and Youngwoon find themselves sans Heechul hanging over the railings along with all the other passengers, waiting for the monumental moment while toting all shapes and sizes of digital cameras. Youngwoon has an old, 7.1 megapixel Canon camera which he insists still serves its purpose well; Jungsu has an SLR which he'd nicked from his company's PR department. "They have another SLR," he shrugs. "My departments are well equipped."
"Do you think people usually take cameras along on self-recovery trips?" Youngwoon wonders.
When the Island of Nowhere finally comes into view, they snap about twenty pictures in total before they get tired of finding new angles to picture a slab of green, hilly land. It's very pretty, Jungsu has to admit, rising up from the sea like that, and the white houses scattered along the hills makes it even prettier, but as Youngwoon says, the quaint, charming other-worldliness of the whole place is making them doubtful that their hotel will have a swimming pool and sashimi on the room service menu.
"It seems like they would look down on such civilised stuff," Youngwoon opines gloomily. "What if all they have is home-grown seasonal greens or something? I'll have to wait a month till I'm back in Seoul for my salmon."
"I don't understand your confidence that they would serve a fish that's not even found in these waters," Jungsu says. "Seriously, do you think they would import salmon?"
"Can't they have fish farms where they breed fish?" Youngwoon argues.
"Youngwoon-sshi, you're on a self-recovery trip! You're not here to eat salmon sashimi."
"I don't know," Youngwoon says as they make their way towards Heechul's cabin to show him the pictures. "I think salmon sashimi would be very beneficial to my self-recovery."
They enter Heechul's cabin to find Hyukjae sitting on top of Heechul's luggage on the floor, eyes wide and mouth open in an expression of beatified wonderment. He snaps to attention when they walk in and Heechul looks up lazily from his bed. "You know, it would have been nice if you'd knocked before walking in. What's up?"
"We wanted to show you our professional pictures of the Island of Nowhere," Jungsu explains as Youngwoon ruffles up Hyukjae's hair. "But what are you doing with our Hyukjae?"
"He came in to thank me for helping Kibummie and Donghae last night," Heechul says, pushing himself up into a sitting position. "Said they were really tired because they'd worked from six…ah, you tell them yourself."
Hyukjae obliges. "We woke up at five-thirty yesterday morning because there was something wrong with the ship's engines and Minsung hyung called us to help out in the engine room. We were so busy that we only managed to go to bed after midnight so when Sangho-sshi rang our bell to ask us to serve him and his wife some snacks, we were really sad…"
"See?" Heechul interrupts indignantly. "That couple should be thrown overboard. We're near the island anyway, so they can swim to it if they want to survive."
Youngwoon drapes an arm around Hyukjae, who fluffs up happily under all the attention. "This hyung wasn't scaring you when we walked in, was he? You can tell us, we'll help you get revenge on him if he was."
"I wasn't scaring him," Heechul says. "I was telling him about Seoul."
"It sounds wonderful," Hyukjae says with a touch of wistfulness in his voice. "I'd like to see a great, big school. Is it true, Jungsu-sshi, that they will teach you everything?"
Just then the steward, passing by outside, notices Hyukjae and abruptly puts his head in. He greets everyone politely and follows it up with a sharp instruction in words that Jungsu has never heard before, but they make Hyukjae jump like he was shot. "Sorry sorrysorry," he stumbles, bobbing hastily at them before running out of the cabin. The steward turns to Heechul apologetically. "I'm so sorry, sir, that he was bothering you. He'll receive a strict warning from the captain."
"He wasn't bothering me…" Heechul begins, but the steward's already gone. They stare for a moment at the empty corridor beyond the open door.
"I suppose it's against the rules for them to hang around chatting with the passengers," Jungsu says.
"Damn this ship," Youngwoon grumbles, sitting down on the luggage. It groans ominously under his weight and Heechul glares daggers at him until he moves down onto the floor. "Peeling paint, engine trouble, weird chefs, chicken every day, energizer bunnies disguised as a honeymooning couple, kids being overworked…I can't wait to get off this floating wreck."
"May the Island of Nowhere prove more hospitable to our delicate constitutions," Heechul says, devout as a prayer, and they all bow their heads in a silent amen.
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