Me and My Dumb Ass lol
yeah so i was informed last night that me flipping out over james not calling or being online in 4 days was totally for nothing lol. i was telling him how worried i was about him driveing and he cant see and getting scooped up by a snow shovel becuase he hit something. when i was informed that DUH he doesnt have car anymore becuase he got in a wreck with it. lol i felt so stupid. but im glad he was safe lol. yeah he told me of how he was playing D&D and was thinking of why he haddnt herd from me. * yay* im glad to be ascociated by D&D. lol yeah so anyways we talked till daylight and then he said he had to go and he'd call me in a half an hour. well either i was so dead to the world asleep that i didnt answer the phone or he fell asleep. lol so yeah but its all cool. you know, sometimes i wonder what im not doing over there......but then agian.... he has so much shit going on that sometimes i wonder if id just drag him down more. thats really why im not there......becuase something just keeps telling me that all id do is bring him down....i dont know why i think of that its just i already have SO MUCH shit on my plate and so does he that sometimes id rather miss him than have him mad at me for messing up everything in his life and loesing him for good........its just if you think of it........he gets some girl and her baby down there.....day care is costs half of what youd make with a job........then theres all these bills, plus the fact that i PROMISED mara id come get her in january so she could live with me. and i CANNOT go back on that for anything. i know its going to happen but WHEN? when is this supposed to happen i keep asking for a sighn but im not catching anything or im missing something........what do i do? i always had a good feeling 2008 is going to be a good year so maybe thatll be it.......but 4 years have passed and its still all on hold and i just wonder.......i miss him more everyday...i love him more everyday and i just cant understand why things are like this......but then i guess.......good things come to those who wait so....I WILL........