Ballad Of Big Nothing- Part XXX
Ballad Of Big Nothing
Part XXX
The sky was overcast- strange for early April, when all that there should have been were light clouds and the warmth of the sun touching her skin. It wasn't really fair for it to be cloudy but, then again, many things weren't right lately. And, if she really thought about it, the gloomy day seemed to coincide with her current chaotic world.
Claire had never really taken a liking to cabs; they smelled, were dirty, but she couldn't run the risk of using the Petrelli car to visit Mohinder, not when what she was going for was something that no-one could know about.
It really didn't matter to her that he was a geneticist, or that a doctor had already confirmed that she was indeed pregnant. It really wouldn't matter until she heard him say the words- he was the one that she could trust through all of this- he was the one that would be able to help her, somehow.
The cab pulled up to Mohinder's apartment building and halted rather abruptly, causing Claire to hit the front seat, hard. She grumbled and rolled her eyes, reminding herself to walk next time, or take the sub. Because she was totally over cabs.
She shoved a few twenties at him and shut the door behind her, wrapping her coat around her tightly to protect her from the heavy, cold winds.
The last time she had gone to Mohinder's apartment, she had gone with Peter to give him shots of her blood and to track his progress, but that had been months ago. The weather had been the same too, but it was almost as if she couldn't tell because she'd been too wrapped up in Peter, lusting after him, to realize what type of weather they'd had.
.....
"Where's Peter?" Mohinder asked distractedly as he rummaged through some papers on his desk, frowning.
Claire opened her mouth to respond that she didn't know, but Molly spoke up before her, "Oh, he's in England." They both instantly turned to look at the awkward sixteen-year-old smiling nervously in the middle of the room, "Uh- I sort of checked..."
The redness that had emitted in her cheeks, the fidgeting fingers, lip-biting, all of that, Claire knew it well. She had been just the same when she was sixteen and lusting over Peter herself. She couldn't blame Molly, he was a supermodel, after all.
Mohinder, though, seemed less in-tune to what the teenager was thinking, and waved it off with a grunt, returning to the paperwork that had taken over his desk, "What is it that I can help you with today, Claire?"
There was an edge to his speech, and a curtness that hadn't been there before. His eyes were a bit crazed as they searched his desk relentlessly, obviously not finding what he looked for. It scared Claire, he reminded her almost of how Peter looked when he was loosing control.
"Um, I just need help confirming something," she bit her lip.
Rather abruptly, Mohinder pulled a file up with a smile, and finally looked over to Claire, "Of course. What is it, Claire?"
Her eyes had drifted to the picture paper clipped to the front of the file. It was a face she knew, one that, for some reason, shocked her for Mohinder to have at his disposal- Adam Monroe. Only, the Adam in the picture had a different haircut, with sideburns. Claire figured it was probably an old picture from back in the sixties or seventies.
"What are you doing with Adam Monroe's file?" she asked skeptically, not taking hereyes off his picture.
Mohinder frowned at Claire, "You know who he is?"
She nodded, frowning herself. Of course she knew him, he was Peter's agent and only friend. He was the only person left in Peter's world she could trust. A sudden weird longing to hear from him erupted inside of her. A desire to speak to him and have him tell her that Peter was fine, that he’d missed her just as much as she’d longed for him. But a curt cough from the Indian doctor snapped her back into the real world, and she swallowed back her day dreams, "Oh, yeah- he's friends with Peter. He's like me...I think."
Her small fingers made their way to the manila folder, with every intention of opening to see what Mohinder was researching on him. But before she even got a chance to, he had snapped it back, and smiled awkwardly at her, "Which is precisely why I might need him."
"Why do you need him?"
Mohinder scratched the back of his neck, and looked over to Molly, who had her earphones on and was bobbing her head to the music while she worked on her homework. He smiled hesitantly, and closed in on Claire so that they were only inches apart, "Do you remember the vile of the Shanti virus I had stored here?"
Of course she remembered, it had been the first visit she'd made to Mohinder's in an attempt to help Peter. Claire nodded, and continued to listen as Mohinder sighed and licked his lips before talking again.
"Somewhere during the removal of it from my apartment to the safe compartment for it at the Company, it was misplaced. Elle lost it, and now we're in fear that there could be an outbreak at any moment." He stressed, rubbing his temples, "Adam Monroe may be the cure- if there's an outbreak."
Claire paused for a moment, thinking about his choice in Adam and not her, "Wouldn't I be just as effective? My blood is the same as Adam's. Why not use me?"
"Yes, it would be more convenient as well. But your father didn't want to have you exposed to such a threat. I was told you are off limits."
For a moment a wave of gratitude and warmness filled her heart. It was touching that Nathan would think enough to tell Mohinder that. She couldn't believe that he would protect her in that way- years ago it would have been absolutely absurd. There was another part she couldn't ignore though, and it consisted of horn-rimmed glasses- Noah Bennet.
Her being ‘off limits’ reminded her of something he would have said years ago, when he was still her father- when he still worried and cared about her. That's what she told herself- that he simply didn't care anymore, if he had, he would have been at her side when the Company had sent her back to Texas as a brunette.
Claire cleared her throat and swallowed, washing back whatever sentimental feelings that thinking about her adoptive family brought her, "Nathan said that?"
Mohinder didn't look up at her to meet her eyes, but instead kept rummaging through his paper work and seemed intent on keeping it that way.
"No. Both did."
The air in her lungs momentarily ceased to exist, and instead her heart seemed as if it would pop at any second. It had been four years since she'd even seen her father, and just knowing that Mohinder was in contact with him made her pulse quicken with anticipation at wanting to see him.
"You speak to my dad?" her voice was almost a whisper and hitched slightly, a great deal of emotion was obvious in it.
He shook his head, finally glancing up at her and giving Claire an apologetic smile, "The last time I spoke to him was three years ago. But that was one of his strongest wishes. For you not to be used as a lab rat. I have to respect that."
The glimmer of hope that had grown inside her burst. A cold chill ran through her, of course he'd be gone. It seemed that every person who she'd ever truly cared about had been taken from her, or had left willingly. Was there was something wrong with her? Was it her that was pushing them away? For a long, horrible moment, Claire felt as if all the despair and loneliness she had been feeling had intensified, until she swore she felt it rush through her bones.
But Mohinder brought her back from her thoughts, "So what is it you needed help with, Claire?"
One of her hands slowly made its way over her stomach unintentionally, but when she thought about it- she immediately pulled it back, as if it had stung. That was the real reason why she was there, "Oh- right. I just- I want to know if its true that I'm pregnant. I already went to an obstetrician, and he said it was true, but I just wanted a second opinion."
Mohinder smirked and raised an eyebrow, shaking his head as he turned to fix the mess he'd made on his desk, "Claire, I'm pretty certain that if an obstetrician confirmed your pregnancy- then it's most likely true."
So, he had a point. In fact, he was probably right, but Claire didn't care, it didn't matter to her that she might be wasting her time only to hear the same answer again. She just had to try again, hope to God that the result she'd gotten before wasn't possibly true. Most of all, she half hoped she was just dreaming and it was all just a nightmare.
She exhaled, and shut her eyes, "Can't you just-check?- Again?"
For a moment, Claire thought he'd say no- by the way that he held his gaze intently on her with a torn expression. And it made sense- he was busy, and the last thing he needed was to waste his time giving her the same result she'd heard earlier that day- from a more qualified source.
Instead, he turned his head towards Molly, "You can use your power on Claire."
Claire frowned, but watched as Molly made her way towards with her, with a huge grin across her face. She place a hand on her stomach and closed her eyes, breathing in and out deeply, "You're two months pregnant. I know what its going to be-"
"I do not want to know," her own, sharp voice took her by surprise as she flinched away from Molly and against the wall. To know more information than the fact that something was growing inside of her was too much.
The fact that the being that was inside of her came from Peter didn't matter either. To Claire, it simply felt like an alien, something that wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't some joyous event that would take place in nine months, or something she would cuddle and be able to love as much as Peter- all that seemed silly.
Molly bit her lip and took a step back nervously too. She tried to smile, but it came out strained, "Oh, sorry-"
There was a loud knock at the front door that startled them all. Mohinder turned away from Claire to go answer it, and she took the opportunity to get her coat and purse to leave.
What Molly had told her had began to make her feel restless again, as if she were cursed- destined to be miserable, with a reminder of the person who'd confessed not to have loved her at all.
"Claire?"
The thick British accent was too noticeable- she instantly knew who it was- Adam. She slowly turned, licking her lips, and feeling the tears that wanted to come out from her eyes, but washing them back with a blink. One thing he couldn't see was her frailness, he couldn't know what was going on and let Peter find out.
"Wh-what are you doing here?"
Adam turned towards Mohinder, and raised an eyebrow, "I'm not exactly sure yet."
Sighing, he turned to her, "What about you? How do you two know each other?"
She could have gone into detail and explained about saving the world, and Noah working for the Company, but just thinking about retelling the story of her life exhausted her.
Before she could say anything though, a wave of morning sickness passed through her, making her hand fly to cover her mouth and run past the both of them, leaving him clueless behind her.
.....
The party, of course, was like any other thrown by the Petrelli's. Decorations galore, expensive and delicious food, and everyone was impeccably dressed. All conversations consisted of the same; rumors about the Petrelli's, her- the illegitimate daughter, Peter and his rumors, and Nathan and his whole presidential election.
It was boring- monotonous- depressing, just like all the feelings inside of her lately- all that she felt, all the she was now. Without really thinking about it, she took a sip of the apple cider in her champagne glass. It was a facade, just to prevent any more rumors from circulating around the party.
But then, there he was- straight ahead, like the first time- sulkily, bored looking, miserable- just how she felt. She couldn't help it, her stomach erupted in long-missed butterflies, reserved only for him.
His eyes spotted her, but he didn't move or smile, just remained in place. It was her turn to walk to him, as much as it frightened her, as it was horrible, horrid, she did it. Her feet started to take steps towards him, slowly, and he remained there- staring back at her, and watching her walk towards him.
Remembering to breathe was the hardest- keeping her eyes focused, it was all too much to do as she was facing him. He looked the same, apart from the large band-aid that covered his arm.
Claire nervously put a strand of hair behind her ear, "Hi."
His hair was a bit disheveled, but she didn't really want to think of why that would be. It certainly wasn't her fault anymore- and any train of thought that would lead to another individual made the void in her chest ache again.
Peter frowned and licked his lips, before slowly responding, "You're hair- it's dark again- and- short."
She cursed in her head, because they both knew what that meant. They'd talked about her hair, and the meaning of change- what it meant to them and seeing her- it’s like it spoke for her. Letting him know that she was no longer his, that whatever it was that they'd had, didn't matter in the least.
His expression was pained, as if even looking at her was torturous- like some part of him was repelled by her mere sight.
The ache grew inside of her.
"I just- I thought it was time for a change."
Slowly, the look on his face changed into a more distant one. He blinked his glossy eyes and smiled, "How are you?"
The difference had been minimal, but Claire could see it. She could tell by the small cocking of his head to the side. It was so signature, and something that she had missed seeing. The whole world could stop and she would have not noticed, because all that could occupy her attention was him. No matter how much time had passed- or would ever pass, the feelings she had for him would never go away, in fact- they only intensified.
Angela stood at the corner of her eye, reminding her of why it was that they were both there. She had agreed to ask him to move back. That's the reason she was talking to him, the only one. She reminded herself that as she took a breath and turned her eyes back onto his perfect form, "Peter, you need to move back."
It was true, but not for the reasons that her grandmother had provided. The fact was, that as much as she had tried to stand it, she missed him. She needed him more than ever before, she wanted to fall asleep to his whispers, and wake up to the radiant, crooked smile that only he could ever pull off. She missed so much of him that it was nearly unbearable to stand there calmly without bursting what she felt.
Peter sighed, "Why?"
"Your family needs you-" it took all her will power not to include herself, "You should be here, with your family."
There was an almost dreamlike expression filling his features- something not quite connected mentally- like he wasn't in tune with everything she was saying. Instead, his eyes searched her face for something- they ran throughout her, letting his brow furrow, but only slightly. And the truth? It really didn't help, not when she was trying to remain completely detached from the overwhelming feelings she felt for him.
A tiny smirk grew on his perfect lips, "My family wants me here?" there was a note of amusement, "I'm not even sure what the definition of that is anymore, Claire."
Of course he'd say something along those lines. After everything she'd witnessed, after all they'd said to him, how they had acted towards him- it was only natural for him to feel bitter. But it wasn't for them that she was asking, it was herself, and it stung that he didn't think of that. It felt like a rush of buzzing that pricked her skin, and reminded her that he really didn't love her- never had.
A hand made its, almost snake-like, way, around her waist, and she felt a tender kiss on her cheek. It was Andy. His touches were always soft and careful, they were similar to Peter's, yet completely different at the same time. Where Andy held his confidence high, Peter lacked it.
"Your grandmother is looking for you, babe." His eyes were on Peter with an almost menacing look.
They'd spoken about pretending, to make it seem like she'd moved on. But looking back at Peter, she didn't want to anymore. Claire didn't care if it would make her look like an idiot, she wanted to tell him that all she'd ever want was him, and that, now more than ever, she needed him by her side.
Her nose flared as she controlled the emotions that wanted to escape within her, and she smiled nervously back at Peter, "I'll see you later." And she meant it, because she had no desire to let him go that easily.
.....
By the time she had gotten to the study, all her nerves had multiplied into a disastrous number. She could only imagine what would happen with any more stress. She was even prepared to tell Angela straight out that she couldn't take any of her lecturing that day. It was too much and all she wanted to do was simply enjoy her tentative time with Peter.
But as she approached the door, she noticed it was slightly ajar, revealing two bodies inside. Claire frowned, realizing who they were; Angela and Adam.
By the look on his face, she could tell he was angry- livid, like she had never seen before. Angela's expression wasn't much different as she scowled at him. As far as Claire had known, they hadn't spoken in years, but it made her curious.
And, just when she was about to walk through the door, Adam spoke, making her freeze all over again, "You should have told me Peter was my son."
N/A: I just wanted to take sometime and say thank you to all of those who have been reviewing! You guys are awesome! I'll try and update sooner this time, since it is one with Adam's POV. :D
Also thanks to Ellie, because she's an awesome beta!!!
