Problem solved
Ha, I made a big dramatic entry about being socially useless, and immediately fixed that problem. Now I'm like, all booked up for the week. Maybe thats what I needed to do? Maybe journal-ing had been the only thing keeping me sane and useful and without it I become a wreck? Possibly!
Now back to silly content. I'm pretty much celibate (maybe I should bitch about that and then go out and get myself laid... eh, that'll take more than the miracle of LJ), but I look at personal ads a lot. What can I say, I like to window shop even when I'm broke.
I pulled up this little gem in the "rants and raves" section: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/rnr/2191172928.html
buttplugged snow shoveling (Lower East Side)
" this is not the biggest snowstorm in memory, except if you just moved here from wisconsin two years ago like a hipster.
it was worse in 1996, and i had a girlfriend back then who kept me buttplugged.
this was her -- bossy, chubby girl who liked cats and drove a blue sportscar.
this was me -- steroid muscled, bad ass guy with a buttplug up my ass.
i had to drive in from brooklyn to queens to dig her car out.
she kept a big, black rubber buttplug up my ass the whole time -- and that is how i dug her car out the snow, clenching down on my ass muscles while i swept the blizzard off her car.
later, she rewarded me -- i earned two minutes to eat her ass.
those were good days; when i squatted down on a buttplug for a girl who demanded i sit on fatter buttplugs as a reward for for eating her ass, meanwhile, she always said i didn't do enough for her, especially not eating her ass.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 2191172928
I love this. It kinda starts out as a rant (hipsters bitchin' about snow while "real NYers" can recall more serious snowstorms), but then takes an unexpected turn down memory lane as the author looks back to happier times, when snow was accompanied by bossy chubby girls and butt plugs.
I gotta give these straight people some credit. Plus-sized cat lover woman as master and steroid muscle freak as butt-plugged snow-shoveling service bottom? While it doesn't really get me hot and bothered, it makes me want to like, invite them to my next house party or something. Oh, NY in 1996. Good days indeed.
Now back to silly content. I'm pretty much celibate (maybe I should bitch about that and then go out and get myself laid... eh, that'll take more than the miracle of LJ), but I look at personal ads a lot. What can I say, I like to window shop even when I'm broke.
I pulled up this little gem in the "rants and raves" section: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/rnr/2191172928.html
buttplugged snow shoveling (Lower East Side)
" this is not the biggest snowstorm in memory, except if you just moved here from wisconsin two years ago like a hipster.
it was worse in 1996, and i had a girlfriend back then who kept me buttplugged.
this was her -- bossy, chubby girl who liked cats and drove a blue sportscar.
this was me -- steroid muscled, bad ass guy with a buttplug up my ass.
i had to drive in from brooklyn to queens to dig her car out.
she kept a big, black rubber buttplug up my ass the whole time -- and that is how i dug her car out the snow, clenching down on my ass muscles while i swept the blizzard off her car.
later, she rewarded me -- i earned two minutes to eat her ass.
those were good days; when i squatted down on a buttplug for a girl who demanded i sit on fatter buttplugs as a reward for for eating her ass, meanwhile, she always said i didn't do enough for her, especially not eating her ass.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 2191172928
I love this. It kinda starts out as a rant (hipsters bitchin' about snow while "real NYers" can recall more serious snowstorms), but then takes an unexpected turn down memory lane as the author looks back to happier times, when snow was accompanied by bossy chubby girls and butt plugs.
I gotta give these straight people some credit. Plus-sized cat lover woman as master and steroid muscle freak as butt-plugged snow-shoveling service bottom? While it doesn't really get me hot and bothered, it makes me want to like, invite them to my next house party or something. Oh, NY in 1996. Good days indeed.