(no subject)

[jetblackdog]

Happy Birthday Former Roomie!
In honor of your 22nd birthday I have decided to put together a compilation of the best of Matt May.

Me: Hey why don't you...
Matt: Dude, shut up I'm looking at these freze-dried porkchops.
****************************************

(while discussing halloween decoration themes)

Me: We ought to recreate that scene from Aqua Teen where Carl gets his torso blown off by Ted Nugent and instead of blood a rainbow comes out.
Matt: How are you going to make a rainbow?
Me: Dude, I just stated I wanted to recreate a torso-less corpse with a rainbow coming out instead of blood and your one question is how I'm gonna do the RAINBOW?
******************************************

"How many times can you say you blew up a car with a dildo?"
-Matt
******************************************

::Matt half-wakes up::
Matt: *unintelligible grumbling* alarm?
Me: sure Matt
Matt: Mmm-hmmm, *unintelligible* AM?
Me: you know it
Matt: Can I be the skyscraper?
Me: Sure
::Matt rolls over and goes back to sleep::

*******************************************
Matt: "hey man, my car couldn't make it to New Orleans, it may whoosh along Columbus, but after Chilicothe it dies."
Bryce: "Dude, I've seen your car and it doesn't exactly 'whoosh'. It's more like a 'putter'."
Matt: "Whatever man. At least my car has a missle launcher."
Bryce: "Yeah, but you're out of missles."
Matt: "Why'd you have to remind me?"

***************************************
And of course, the Gummi Bears Song:
Matt: "Gummi Bears, Gummi Bears.................................Gummi Bears, Gummi Bears"