4 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO!
1st - Never open your wallet to buy something when you haven't boughten anything in a very long time. This just makes everything else in every other store you walk into more and more appealing. At least in my opinion it does. I dunno if this happens to everyone but it sure as hell happens to me. It's like you wanna buy EVERYTHING!
So if this does happen to you, buy something small like every week so the urge to buy something isn't so intense.
2nd - (To go along with the 1st) Never look in the Gadgets, Gear, and Technology issue of Stuff magazine with the hot chick on the cover ESPECIALLY without consulting your doctor or without purchasing anything in a very long time. Because then it'll make you buy the fucking issue of Stuff for no reason so you can go home and look through it when you could have just done so at Barns & Nobel. But too late, you bought it and right now you're at home sitting in front of your computer, looking through the magazine and checking every website in search for the little iPod speaker dog thing that hooks up into your iPod that will shake it's head angrily if it doesn't like your choice of music and then choses it's own music for you to listen to (from your iPod of course). Or no, better yet, you want those new GOD DAMN Nikes that you saw on page 84. Or better yet, you want the new FUCKING SideKick... No, no you want the new Motorola V3x Razor phone!!! And that's what you get for not spending any money in a very long time.
3rd - Never wear your Aqua Teen Hunger Force (ATHF) t-shirt to a Barns & Nobel where geeky employees ask you, "Does the ATHF on your shirt stand for Aqua Teen Hunger Force?" Never say, "Yes" because then, at check out, they tell you that they dressed up as Carl for Halloween last year and then they keep telling you quotes from the show that aren't even funny but you laugh anyway so you don't hurt the poor guys feelings as your trying to leave the store.
And finally the 4th - Never EVER make a mixed CD with the music from the video game Burnout Revenge because as your waiting for the CD to burn in your computer your playing Burnout Revenge. Then when the CD is done you hop into your car so you can listen to your new CD as your go for a drive. This is where it gets bad because you can't help but hit garbage cans and orange construction cones, you tailgate, you speed, you sideswipe other cars, you merge over double yellow lines into on-coming traffic so you can pass that slow car, and you get into a huge 50 car pile up because you crashed head on with a huge ass 18 wheeler.
And those, my friends, are the 4 things you should NEVER DO... but do them anyway!
So if this does happen to you, buy something small like every week so the urge to buy something isn't so intense.
2nd - (To go along with the 1st) Never look in the Gadgets, Gear, and Technology issue of Stuff magazine with the hot chick on the cover ESPECIALLY without consulting your doctor or without purchasing anything in a very long time. Because then it'll make you buy the fucking issue of Stuff for no reason so you can go home and look through it when you could have just done so at Barns & Nobel. But too late, you bought it and right now you're at home sitting in front of your computer, looking through the magazine and checking every website in search for the little iPod speaker dog thing that hooks up into your iPod that will shake it's head angrily if it doesn't like your choice of music and then choses it's own music for you to listen to (from your iPod of course). Or no, better yet, you want those new GOD DAMN Nikes that you saw on page 84. Or better yet, you want the new FUCKING SideKick... No, no you want the new Motorola V3x Razor phone!!! And that's what you get for not spending any money in a very long time.
3rd - Never wear your Aqua Teen Hunger Force (ATHF) t-shirt to a Barns & Nobel where geeky employees ask you, "Does the ATHF on your shirt stand for Aqua Teen Hunger Force?" Never say, "Yes" because then, at check out, they tell you that they dressed up as Carl for Halloween last year and then they keep telling you quotes from the show that aren't even funny but you laugh anyway so you don't hurt the poor guys feelings as your trying to leave the store.
And finally the 4th - Never EVER make a mixed CD with the music from the video game Burnout Revenge because as your waiting for the CD to burn in your computer your playing Burnout Revenge. Then when the CD is done you hop into your car so you can listen to your new CD as your go for a drive. This is where it gets bad because you can't help but hit garbage cans and orange construction cones, you tailgate, you speed, you sideswipe other cars, you merge over double yellow lines into on-coming traffic so you can pass that slow car, and you get into a huge 50 car pile up because you crashed head on with a huge ass 18 wheeler.
And those, my friends, are the 4 things you should NEVER DO... but do them anyway!