BTVS ficlet: Alongside World Part Three: Flying From Heavy Thoughts
Title: Alongside World Part One
By Jesterlady
Rating: PG
Pairing: Spike/Buffy, Xander/Anya, mentions of Willow/Tara
Summary: I have been writing this for a long time and finally finished it. It's a Jonathan and Tara friendship fic that involves them wanting to help the issues that plague the rest of the Scoobies. It's sort of the serious version of my fic, Initiation Sigh. The time frame is again sort of relative as it seems to be right after Jonathan's spell in Superstar BTVS S4, but it more involves the S6 situation.
Disclaimer: I don't own BTVS. The title from CS Lewis. This chapter's title is by Soren Kierkegaard.
Part One
Part Two
Part Three: Flying from Heavy Thoughts
Buffy sat in silence, watching herself laugh. She hadn’t laughed in six years. Or at least hadn’t laughed a laugh that wasn’t tinged in bitterness or guilt. The Buffy on the screen put on a pair of boots that were to die for, she went down the stairs, she met Spike at the bottom, she kissed him right in front of Dawn, he poked her side playfully, then Dawn hugged them both and they headed out into the night with promises to help with homework later that evening. Another Slayer was in town and helping with the patrolling. It looked almost like a family. Buffy wasn’t quite sure she even knew what that was anymore.
Giles had to be told what was happening on the screen, but it definitely showed him without a bottle in his hand.
It showed him in front of a crowd of young people, most of whom were wearing tweed. He was teaching, wearing his
sunglasses. Then he was answering the phone and hearing Willow’s voice. And he was explaining something and
he was needed. A lovely impossibility described to him.
Xander liked the idea of him not switching jobs every month or delivering anything with lots of grease as an
ingredient. He liked his two children and he liked his wife. He liked having a separate life apart from carnage and
death even if he did have the others of the gang over weekly. He briefly wondered what break the other Xander had
that he didn’t. Then Spike entered the screen and the Screen Xander shook his hand. It was an eye opener.
Dawn got a warm, glowy feeling as she watched Buffy spend hours helping her, as Spike teased her and acted
over protective, as Willow showed up to take her shopping. There was less of that feeling as the Screen Dawn
confessed to Anya and worked in the shop to pay off her debts, but it was still more satisfying than taking the jewelery
in the first place.
Anya saw herself as a respected businesswoman of the town, seen as a human, seen not just as Xander’s wife
and tolerated as such, but someone who had their own merit. She didn’t feel the need to try and convince people to
do things or to shock them into noticing her. She saw her husband treat her as if she were the most important thing
in her life. She saw the satisfaction of raising children and teaching them about financial responsibility. She saw
herself accepting old age and inevitable mortality.
Spike was shocked to see himself welcomed into the Scoobies, amazed to see Buffy look at him without a hint of
revulsion and kiss him without hurrying away or looked ashamed of herself. He was not a dirty secret, but a
contributing member. He wasn’t chipped, but he was helping and he discovered he liked it more than killing. Killing
wasn’t necessary, even if it was fun.
Willow almost wept to see herself limiting her control of magic, spending hours by herself and liking it. Being
happy for her friends even when she was alone. She didn’t cry over her mistakes and she didn’t need to hide behind
her magic to feel powerful or worthwhile. She didn’t need to control her friends to feel like they were her friends. It
was the most terrifying thing she’d ever seen, but she had a feeling it would be the most freeing.
“Where did you say you got this again?” Buffy asked slowly.
Tara took a deep breath and explained the whole story, more thoroughly this time. Jonathan added whatever he
thought was necessary, but Tara did the bulk of the talking and he was proud to notice that she stuttered very rarely
though a half an hour of speech.
“S-so, Jonathan and I wanted you to know how we see you. How we think you could be. Your potential. We want
you to talk about i-it. Let us know what you think.”
She squared her shoulders and took Jonathan’s hand as they walked out the door. The Scoobies stared after
them with their mouths open.
***
Tara felt extremely nervous walking back into the Magic Box. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t been nervous the first time. But now she would hear things that would decide what she did with her future. If the Scoobies decided to reject what she and Jonathan had discovered it would mean Tara would have to leave another family.
But she wouldn’t be going alone. She smiled at Jonathan and together, they faced their friends.
Awkward hellos were said all around as they took their seats.
“So, uh…” Buffy started. “We talked and thought on our own and talked again, and...I’m really bad at this. Giles?”
“Oh, well, Tara and Jonathan, we, we appreciate what the two of you did and we would like to thank you and say
that…that-“
“Get to the bloody point,” Spike interrupted. “Even I’m likely to die of old age by the time you spit it out.”
Giles glared in the direction of Spike’s voice.
“We’ve come to the conclusion that we all have things we can work on.”
“Things will start to change around here,” Buffy said. “Little things at first.” She swallowed hard and grabbed
Spike’s hand while putting her other arm around Dawn’s shoulder. “I’m going to ask for help.”
“I’ve confessed,” Dawn said.
“I’m going to find a real job,” Xander said and grabbed Anya’s hands, looking her in the eyes. “And be better at
the one that I already have.”
Anya beamed.
“I will be more human!” she announced. Spike chuckled.
“I might try to hold my tongue,” he said, “but I definitely promise not to be evil. Do I have to?” He sighed and turned to
Buffy. She playfully swatted his shoulder.
“I’ll be moving back to England,” Giles said. “I’ve got some things to straighten out.”
“And I-I’m going with him,” Willow said, moving to stand in front of Tara. “I’m going to study magic at the coven. Learn
something new. And I’m sorry, so sorry.”
Tara lifted Willow’s chin with her hand.
“I’m happy for you,” she said firmly. “And I forgive you.”
Willow smiled shakily.
“I’m just hoping there’ll be lots of homework.”
“Let’s hope so,” Tara agreed, smiling.
Jonathan leaned against the wall and smiled. The atmosphere in the shop felt ten times better. It wasn’t like he
saw roses and moonbeams on the horizon. Unless they were involved in some sort of Hellmouth-y way. But he
could see hope. Hope shone in the air and flowed all around him, infusing him with its euphoria. He grinned and
Tara when she looked at him. He’d found more than hope. He’d found a friend. And this one he hadn’t needed to go
to an alongside world to find.
By Jesterlady
Rating: PG
Pairing: Spike/Buffy, Xander/Anya, mentions of Willow/Tara
Summary: I have been writing this for a long time and finally finished it. It's a Jonathan and Tara friendship fic that involves them wanting to help the issues that plague the rest of the Scoobies. It's sort of the serious version of my fic, Initiation Sigh. The time frame is again sort of relative as it seems to be right after Jonathan's spell in Superstar BTVS S4, but it more involves the S6 situation.
Disclaimer: I don't own BTVS. The title from CS Lewis. This chapter's title is by Soren Kierkegaard.
Part One
Part Two
Part Three: Flying from Heavy Thoughts
Buffy sat in silence, watching herself laugh. She hadn’t laughed in six years. Or at least hadn’t laughed a laugh that wasn’t tinged in bitterness or guilt. The Buffy on the screen put on a pair of boots that were to die for, she went down the stairs, she met Spike at the bottom, she kissed him right in front of Dawn, he poked her side playfully, then Dawn hugged them both and they headed out into the night with promises to help with homework later that evening. Another Slayer was in town and helping with the patrolling. It looked almost like a family. Buffy wasn’t quite sure she even knew what that was anymore.
Giles had to be told what was happening on the screen, but it definitely showed him without a bottle in his hand.
It showed him in front of a crowd of young people, most of whom were wearing tweed. He was teaching, wearing his
sunglasses. Then he was answering the phone and hearing Willow’s voice. And he was explaining something and
he was needed. A lovely impossibility described to him.
Xander liked the idea of him not switching jobs every month or delivering anything with lots of grease as an
ingredient. He liked his two children and he liked his wife. He liked having a separate life apart from carnage and
death even if he did have the others of the gang over weekly. He briefly wondered what break the other Xander had
that he didn’t. Then Spike entered the screen and the Screen Xander shook his hand. It was an eye opener.
Dawn got a warm, glowy feeling as she watched Buffy spend hours helping her, as Spike teased her and acted
over protective, as Willow showed up to take her shopping. There was less of that feeling as the Screen Dawn
confessed to Anya and worked in the shop to pay off her debts, but it was still more satisfying than taking the jewelery
in the first place.
Anya saw herself as a respected businesswoman of the town, seen as a human, seen not just as Xander’s wife
and tolerated as such, but someone who had their own merit. She didn’t feel the need to try and convince people to
do things or to shock them into noticing her. She saw her husband treat her as if she were the most important thing
in her life. She saw the satisfaction of raising children and teaching them about financial responsibility. She saw
herself accepting old age and inevitable mortality.
Spike was shocked to see himself welcomed into the Scoobies, amazed to see Buffy look at him without a hint of
revulsion and kiss him without hurrying away or looked ashamed of herself. He was not a dirty secret, but a
contributing member. He wasn’t chipped, but he was helping and he discovered he liked it more than killing. Killing
wasn’t necessary, even if it was fun.
Willow almost wept to see herself limiting her control of magic, spending hours by herself and liking it. Being
happy for her friends even when she was alone. She didn’t cry over her mistakes and she didn’t need to hide behind
her magic to feel powerful or worthwhile. She didn’t need to control her friends to feel like they were her friends. It
was the most terrifying thing she’d ever seen, but she had a feeling it would be the most freeing.
“Where did you say you got this again?” Buffy asked slowly.
Tara took a deep breath and explained the whole story, more thoroughly this time. Jonathan added whatever he
thought was necessary, but Tara did the bulk of the talking and he was proud to notice that she stuttered very rarely
though a half an hour of speech.
“S-so, Jonathan and I wanted you to know how we see you. How we think you could be. Your potential. We want
you to talk about i-it. Let us know what you think.”
She squared her shoulders and took Jonathan’s hand as they walked out the door. The Scoobies stared after
them with their mouths open.
***
Tara felt extremely nervous walking back into the Magic Box. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t been nervous the first time. But now she would hear things that would decide what she did with her future. If the Scoobies decided to reject what she and Jonathan had discovered it would mean Tara would have to leave another family.
But she wouldn’t be going alone. She smiled at Jonathan and together, they faced their friends.
Awkward hellos were said all around as they took their seats.
“So, uh…” Buffy started. “We talked and thought on our own and talked again, and...I’m really bad at this. Giles?”
“Oh, well, Tara and Jonathan, we, we appreciate what the two of you did and we would like to thank you and say
that…that-“
“Get to the bloody point,” Spike interrupted. “Even I’m likely to die of old age by the time you spit it out.”
Giles glared in the direction of Spike’s voice.
“We’ve come to the conclusion that we all have things we can work on.”
“Things will start to change around here,” Buffy said. “Little things at first.” She swallowed hard and grabbed
Spike’s hand while putting her other arm around Dawn’s shoulder. “I’m going to ask for help.”
“I’ve confessed,” Dawn said.
“I’m going to find a real job,” Xander said and grabbed Anya’s hands, looking her in the eyes. “And be better at
the one that I already have.”
Anya beamed.
“I will be more human!” she announced. Spike chuckled.
“I might try to hold my tongue,” he said, “but I definitely promise not to be evil. Do I have to?” He sighed and turned to
Buffy. She playfully swatted his shoulder.
“I’ll be moving back to England,” Giles said. “I’ve got some things to straighten out.”
“And I-I’m going with him,” Willow said, moving to stand in front of Tara. “I’m going to study magic at the coven. Learn
something new. And I’m sorry, so sorry.”
Tara lifted Willow’s chin with her hand.
“I’m happy for you,” she said firmly. “And I forgive you.”
Willow smiled shakily.
“I’m just hoping there’ll be lots of homework.”
“Let’s hope so,” Tara agreed, smiling.
Jonathan leaned against the wall and smiled. The atmosphere in the shop felt ten times better. It wasn’t like he
saw roses and moonbeams on the horizon. Unless they were involved in some sort of Hellmouth-y way. But he
could see hope. Hope shone in the air and flowed all around him, infusing him with its euphoria. He grinned and
Tara when she looked at him. He’d found more than hope. He’d found a friend. And this one he hadn’t needed to go
to an alongside world to find.