Merlin Fic: And the World You Promised: Chapter Fourteen: You Can Be King Again
Chapter Fourteen: You Can Be King Again
Arthur felt strange now that the battle was over. He always put so much energy and time into planning for them that it was almost a feeling of loss when a battle was done, like he was bereft of purpose. Yet, somehow, he thought he’d never really be so, with the dragon’s words looming over him and Merlin’s strange remarks. He’d have to deal with these things for quite a long time, it seemed.
Merlin was still doing his weird trance thing with the dragon and so Arthur spent his time setting up the camp, sending riders back to Camelot, and gathering the bodies. The Saxons all burned together, but Arthur reserved for himself the task of picking up Morgana’s limp body and placing it on a makeshift pyre. He set the torch and spent a long time just watching her, feeling the heat of the flames on his face, trying to recall everything about their childhood, everything good about his sister.
When the flames finally died down, he whispered his goodbyes and turned, surprised to find Leon and Percival standing behind him.
“Did something happen?” he asked, wiping surreptitiously at his eyes.
“We just wanted…” Leon said, trailing off.
“To be here,” Percival finished.
Arthur nodded.
“Thank you,” he said simply. “You are both loyal friends.” He spoke on, not wanting to dwell on the moment. “What’s the state of the men?”
“Five dead, Sire,” Leon said. “There are more injuries, but it’s hard to tell without a physician or-or a…”
“Sorcerer?” Arthur finished.
“Or Merlin,” Leon said.
Arthur raised his eyebrow, but didn't address it.
“How is Merlin?” he asked instead.
“Still with the dragon.”
Arthur walked over and found that Merlin was starting to move and caught him when it looked like he was going to fall. The man looked completely done in and Arthur moved quickly to get him to bed, realizing Merlin needed rest before he could do anything else.
Merlin kept making inane comments, but he quickly dropped off once on the cot. The dragon curled up beside him and seemed to sleep too. Arthur would have to get used to that, because it was just too weird and potentially life threatening to have a dragon acting like a loyal hound.
Arthur made sure the camp was secure and sentries posted before he returned to Merlin’s tent. He had his own, but he found himself in need of making sure Merlin was okay. There was a chair beside Merlin's cot and Arthur dropped down into it, keeping watch through the night. Though he was tired he needed to think.
It was finally catching up to him that there wasn’t anything else lurking beyond the horizon, causing him to push back making a decision about Merlin. Morgana was gone, the dragon acting like a pet, his men were taken care of for the most part, Arthur himself was alive, King of the most peaceful kingdom he’d ever heard of.
Which meant there was nothing to do but think about Merlin. The battle had made up Arthur’s mind about Merlin completely, the kind of clarity that comes before death, helping him to see the other man for who he was. And Arthur saw what magic could do, what weight it had in men’s lives. Surely Arthur could not afford to ignore such power, or make an enemy of it. He still had left over feelings of uneasiness, a lifetime of thinking to overcome, but Arthur would keep his promise to the Druids, to Dragoon the Great, and to the Dolma, even if the last two were really to Merlin. He would reconsider his views, he would revoke his laws, he would make peace not just with Kings and armies, but with sorcerers and magic itself. It was the only thing to do really.
Arthur was fully okay with allowing magic to reign free again. So many times he’d teetered on this cliff, and all it had taken in the end was the loyalty of one servant to send him over the edge. But Arthur felt confident that there would be no broken fall at the bottom. Magic could be used to do horrible things as no one knew better than Arthur, but he also felt that, in treating it as an enemy, that had made it so for his father. Instead of retreating from the thing that had hurt him, Arthur planned to understand it, to wield it, to keep it controlled through kindness rather than fear.
And as Arthur thought, he felt at peace, and he decided several more things before his own exhaustion caught up to him and he fell victim to a much needed slumber.
***
Arthur had never been so glad to see Camelot. He always felt the same every time he came back, but this time he truly meant it.
It had been a good morning, despite Merlin’s mocking comments, and Arthur felt glad about the closure they’d come to regarding Merlin’s secret and status. Arthur couldn’t live the way he had been any longer, holding onto grudges and pride, it was too tiring. And Arthur knew Merlin had to be glad to now be able to live as he really was. Together, well, together, Arthur thought there wasn’t anything they could not do. It felt right, somehow, to finally speak words of affirmation and acknowledge Merlin’s superiority. So long as Arthur didn’t have to do it too often, that is.
Though Merlin still had surprises for Arthur, such as his little promise to the Sidhe about letting Arthur come to their island when he died. It had taken him awhile to get used to the idea and he still wanted to talk to them himself before he became fully reconciled to it, but he had no energy left to hold it against Merlin. Merlin, who had saved everything, and whose pet dragon appeared to take it badly whenever anyone threatened him.
Arthur was not sure how that was going to work, but he had to try. The dragon was small, sickly looking, and maybe could turn invisible? So Arthur thought he’d make a place for him in the hills right outside of Camelot and that way Merlin could keep an eye on him and still be where Arthur needed him, at his side.
So now, Arthur could enter Camelot with a clear conscience and a full heart.
Guinevere met them outside and all it took was one look at her face before he felt at home.
“You did it,” he whispered to her, holding her tightly.
“Did what?” she asked.
“Kept your promise,” he said.
“As did you,” she said, kissing him lightly, but he could sense the restrained joy hidden beneath her calm demeanor.
“I shall look forward to discussing it with you in detail,” he said.
“And I you,” she said, before looking past him to where Merlin was hovering uncertainly. “Thank you, Merlin,” she said, sincerity in her voice, “for bringing him home.”
“How do you know I didn’t bring him home?” Arthur asked indignantly.
Guinevere laughed and kissed him again before going to Merlin and hugging him tightly.
“Thank you, my dearest friend,” she said.
Merlin’s face lit up like somebody had just given him a kingdom wrapped up in a bow and he hugged her back.
“As you are mine,” he said.
“Excuse me?” Arthur asked. “Did I just become redundant?”
They turned and laughed at him and he felt very put out. Exactly what right did his wife and his best friend have to act like that? Especially when he was King and they were no longer fellow servants.
Merlin was unrepentant, but Guinevere relented and came over to Arthur, wrapping her arm around his waist like she never wanted to let go. And he didn’t want her to.
Gaius stepped up then, folding Merlin into a hug.
“My boy, I’m very proud of you.”
“Thank you, Gaius. I’m sure something’s wrong because everybody keeps telling me that.”
“Don’t worry, Merlin,” Arthur said. “I’ve no intention of letting you get a puffed up head.”
“No, it wouldn’t do when yours is already so big,” Merlin answered.
Gaius chuckled while Arthur simply swatted at Merlin who jumped behind Guinevere.
“I see you have much to relate,” Guinevere said.
“Indeed we do,” Arthur agreed. “We shall tell you all, but I’d like to get cleaned up first. Tell me, do you know any capable servants who aren’t named George?”
“Arthur?” she questioned, glancing at Merlin quickly.
“Well, Merlin’s decided he’s got to flaunt his magic around all the time, being called court sorcerer and everything, so I need a new one.”
“Really?” she said. “That’s wonderful.”
“I guess I’ll need a new apprentice,” Gaius said, practically beaming with pride so it made Arthur sick to look at him.
So much sentimentality flowing everywhere around him. All for Merlin, of all people.
“And I suppose,” Arthur said, “that Merlin will be wanting new quarters too, expecting some kind of recompense for his duties.”
“I want to stay with Gaius,” Merlin said, pouting like Arthur had just tried to take away his favorite toy.
“Merlin, once I get a new assistant, I’ll need that room,” Gaius said, winking at Arthur. “Stay with me till then. I daresay I could use a few more days of your help before you start your new job.”
Merlin sighed and acquiesced.
“Everything’s changing,” he said mournfully.
“That happens when you decide to be a sorcerer,” Arthur said, as if it was a whim Merlin had woken up with that morning.
Merlin made a face at him and then further conversation was cut off by Gwaine’s enthusiastic joining of their company and the rest of the knights and the need to get the injured men looked after and the supplies put away and the horses fed and all the other boring and tedious parts of returning from a journey that Arthur was very glad he didn’t have to do.
***
Arthur held what could be called a gathering that night, to relate the story of the battle to all those closest to him and to get their input on his decision about the law against magic. It consisted of himself, Guinevere, Merlin, Gaius, Leon, Gwaine, and Percival. The council could wait; indeed, they just seemed pleased that he was back and they wouldn’t have to deal with Guinevere as much, who’d apparently put them in their place so well that they were terrified of her.
Well, that’s not the story Guinevere told, but Arthur could see that there was new respect in their voices when they spoke of her. They definitely weren’t happy about their Queen, no, they didn’t like her or the idea of her at all, but they grudgingly respected her now. And that was something Arthur could work with. He shouldn’t have to leave Camelot for quite some time and he’d be able to rectify the mistakes he’d made when Guinevere first became Queen, by not establishing her as well as he could have.
Food and drink abounded in Arthur’s and Guinevere's chambers and they were there well into the night.
Gwaine told exaggerated stories of how he’d defended Camelot in their absence. Merlin was ridiculously modest when he described his victory over Morgana. Aithusa was introduced to everyone in the room and Arthur was relieved to see that Merlin hadn’t been exaggerating when he’d said he could make Aithusa invisible, and it was rather funny watching Gwaine jump when the dragon had simply materialized in the room with them. That secret would not go beyond the room for now, the rest of the knights believing Aithusa to have left.
Once the story of the battle had been told and retold from everyone’s perspective, Arthur proposed a toast.
“To Camelot and to our victory,” he said, holding aloft his goblet. “Peace has been brought at last. We have treaties and alliances with all our neighbors. The Five Kingdoms are united again. Today the start of the final alliance has been made, with the magic users of our land, and there will be much good that will come of that, I hope. But, we owe our victory today to one man. So, it is with regret I have to offer a toast to Merlin as well.” There were rumbles of agreement as everyone held their own cups out. “To Merlin, the noblest warlock and Dragonlord in Camelot, whom I will no longer call servant, but I will call friend.”
Merlin blushed brighter than any woman Arthur had ever met, but everyone else clinked their goblets together and drank deep.
“I think a speech is in order,” Gwaine said, banging on the table.
Merlin shook his head vehemently but everyone began to join Gwaine’s cry for a speech and Arthur simply chuckled and gestured for Merlin to stand up.
“You wanted notoriety, you’ve got it,” he said. “Now get used to it.”
Merlin grumbled something uncomplimentary about Arthur’s personal habits that Arthur wasn’t sure was even physically possible and got up.
“Uh, thanks?” Merlin said. “I couldn’t have done it without all of you helping me all these years, so I appreciate it. And, just so you all know, nothing’s changed. I’m still…me.”
“That’s all too obvious,” Gwaine said, shaking his head. “Poor speech, Merlin, but don’t worry, I’ll make sure it happens again.”
“I can turn you into various animals you won’t like being,” Merlin warned him.
“Worth it,” Gwaine said. “Now, what’s a feast without a proper tale? I want some magic stories. Tell us about all the times you saved the day while Arthur was lying on the ground, sleeping like a baby.”
“Watch it, Sir Gwaine,” Arthur said haughtily. “I still do have control over this kingdom.”
Gwaine didn’t look very chastened, but the general clamor for Merlin’s stories overrode any further chastisement Arthur could have given.
And, really, he didn’t need to. He was just glad to have this time with everyone.
“Well,” Merlin said, sending an apologetic look to Gaius, “I think everyone knows about Gaius being possessed by a goblin, but what they don’t know is…”
And that’s the way it went. Merlin told many stories that night. Arthur laughed until he cried with some of the things he found out. About Gaius as a goblin, about the Lady Catrina as a troll, about Arthur’s supposed quest to the Fisher King that turned out to be Merlin’s quest, about the love spell that made Arthur fall for Vivienne, about Merlin spelling himself to be able to juggle for Queen Annis, about bewitching the Witchfinder, about Merlin transforming himself into both an old man and an old woman, and so many other things Arthur couldn’t have imagined were true.
“You ungrateful wretch,” Arthur said, outraged. “You mean you could’ve made the…donkey business vanish immediately and didn’t?”
Merlin did not look apologetic in the slightest and Arthur reconsidered his decision not to execute the little idiot for one second before settling into his chair grumpily and listening to everyone laugh at his expense. But it was Arthur's turn to laugh again only moments later for someone else’s magical misfortune and his good mood was not wholly dissipated.
There were harder stories told as well, nothing quite so harsh and terrible as the things Merlin had told Arthur and Guinevere, but things like letting his friend Will take the blame/credit for saving them all at Ealdor, having Lancelot take his place in the veil, watching his friends be accused for Merlin’s own sorcery time and again. But regardless, it felt healing to have Merlin keep revealing more and more of himself, more and more of what he’d been through and what he’d done. Arthur knew it would build a stronger foundation of trust between all in the room.
Arthur’s favorite story was Merlin’s tale of how Arthur’s sword had been forged, in the dragon’s breath, wielded by his father, lain at the bottom of a lake, returned by some woman (and Arthur was definitely going to get to the bottom of that story) and stuck in a stone where Arthur himself pulled it free. It was a little galling to find out that Merlin had been padding that story to help Arthur believe in himself again and for the people to gain confidence in him, but after everything that had happened, Arthur had no more room for self-doubt. The sword was the greatest gift he’d ever received apart from Guinevere’s love and it felt like a friend in his hand. So he could forgive Merlin such little stories.
The night eventually wound down though Arthur found himself never wanting it to end. Gaius begged off first, saying he was too old for staying up all night. The knights left next, responsible Leon going first saying something about patrols and schedules, followed by Percival practically dragging a very drunk Gwaine off. Gwaine’s calls asking for Merlin’s help to turn the ‘giant oaf’ into a toad faded into the distance and then Merlin was left and he automatically started clearing the table.
Arthur raised his eyebrows at him.
“Oh, oh, right,” Merlin said. “This is going to take some getting used to. Maybe I should just keep doing it for awhile, wean myself off?”
“That’s the single most depressing thing anyone’s ever said,” Arthur replied. “Merlin, for once in your life, just relax.”
“That’s really rich coming from you,” Merlin told him, but he stopped.
“It’s hard,” Guinevere said, coming over to him, a hand on his shoulder. “It took me years before I stopped trying to clean things or could let other people do the things I knew how to do. Even now I find it hard to just stand by and not at least help.”
“If it makes you feel better, Merlin,” Arthur said, “I’ll always treat you as inferior.”
“That actually creates a level of comfort, thanks,” Merlin said, the look on his face saying it all.
Arthur rolled his eyes and bumped shoulders with him.
“Now, out. I want some time with my Queen.”
“Yes, Sire,” Merlin said hastily, before he stopped and turned to Guinevere, taking her hands. “Gwen, thank you. I am so sorry about everything, but I promise that you’ll never need to doubt me again.”
“We will have years to talk, Merlin,” she said. “I promise you that.”
He smiled and then turned to leave.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Arthur asked pointedly looking at the purring dragon stretched out in front of his fireplace.
“Oh, right!”
Merlin drawled something in the dragon tongue and Aithusa got up and stretched and Merlin’s eyes flashed and the dragon disappeared from sight.
“Be careful, Merlin,” Guinevere said.
“Always am,” he said. “So that ban on magic, lifted immediately, is it?”
“For you. I still need to draw up the paperwork. We’ll have to discuss the exact logistics of it, the ethics of it, the practicality of it. Meet with the Druid leaders. That’s what you’re here for,” Arthur said.
“Right…” Merlin said, “just checking.”
A flash lit up the room and it was clean, as if there had never been seven people and a dragon making a mess the whole evening.
“Merlin!” Arthur bellowed.
“What? It’s clean now and Sarah won’t have to do it.”
Arthur sighed.
“Ten years of nary a hint of sorcery and now you can’t be discrete to save your life.”
“Thank you, Merlin,” Guinevere said, giving Arthur a look.
But the whole thing had started Arthur thinking again. He wasn’t reverting back to insecurity about his own abilities, but his sense of fairness demanded an answer to one question.
“Merlin, there is one thing I want to make clear.”
“Yes?” he asked, smiling innocently.
“How many times did you interfere with magic when I was fighting?”
“Uh, I lost count after a hundred or so,” Merlin said, looking puzzled, “why?”
“Could you, if you would be so kind, please not do that? I would like to know I can do some things for myself. The people should probably be assured their King can actually win duels of honor fairly.”
“I only ever did it when the other side cheated first,” Merlin protested. “Like when there was an assassin jousting with you or Morgana made your sword too heavy. I didn’t interfere with Morgause.”
Which was the wrong thing to say and Arthur made sure his face showed it and Merlin scrambled for the door.
“Night, Merlin,” Guinevere called out serenely.
“Night, Gwen,” Merlin chirped out, obviously not perturbed in the slightest.
Arthur got one good whack in before Merlin made it out and then decided it wasn’t worth it, particularly when Aithusa growled from out of nowhere. Arthur really needed to be alone with Guinevere anyway.
She was already turning down their bed when he came back in.
“You really should treat him better,” Guinevere said.
“Come now, he wouldn’t know what to do if I did. Besides, I’ve been forced against my will to say many nice things about him since I found out his secret. It’s been very disconcerting for me.”
“I’m sure it has,” she said, her voice insincere.
“Guinevere,” he said wheedling.
She turned her back to him.
“Help me?” she asked simply and then he was pressed up against her back.
“What can I do?” he asked, kissing her neck.
“I could call for Sarah, but it is rather late and I thought you might enjoy getting me out of this dress,” she said.
“You know me very well,” he said, doing exactly that.
Soon she was bare before him and he led her to their bed, divesting himself of his own clothes.
“Arthur,” she said, putting one hand on his chest, “I spoke with Gaius while you were away.”
“Is it really necessary to talk about that now?” he asked, pouting.
“Indulge me,” she said, pushing him against the pillows and sitting in front of him.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “I know you were upset before I left. Is it the council? I have to tell you how impressed I am about the things they’re saying about you. And I promise I will make sure they never have power over you.”
“I’m much better,” she said. “It’s not that. I feel much more confident, but, Arthur, I was very upset when you left. I was still reeling from Merlin’s secrets and worrying about you and I felt overwhelmed to be in control of this kingdom. I know we spoke about this before, but it seemed too much at the time.”
He leaned forward, capturing her hands.
“What can I do to ease your mind?”
“You are doing it by living,” she said. “It was something I had to come to terms with on my own and your absence allowed for that. I must admit that the thing I was most worried about was my lack of…us not having an heir.”
“Do I make you feel inadequate? Does the council? Because they can all easily be removed to very distant parts of the kingdom.”
She smiled.
“I will hold my own there. But, yes, they did make me feel like I wasn’t worthy. Then…I spoke with Gaius, and he told me of your birth. Do you- did Merlin tell you?”
“I know what Morgause said was true,” he admitted, his voice shaky. “I know I was born of magic.”
“I questioned whether a magical solution might be in order and Gaius told me of the terrible price,” she said. “But then he examined me and he thinks he found a solution. Imagine, Arthur, my not bearing a child might be a physical problem with a solution. He said he would have Merlin confirm his diagnosis through magic, but, I think, Arthur, I think we could have children and then we need never worry about the future of our kingdom.”
“I wasn’t worried anyway,” he said, but he knew his eyes were shining with joy, because the thought of becoming a father, well, he hadn’t had time to really think and worry over it as she had, but it was something he had longed for. Very much. “But that’s wonderful news.”
“Yes, it is,” she said. “I want a baby, Arthur, someone who is a piece of the both of us, a physical representation of our love.”
“That sounds nice,” he admitted, placing a hand on her stomach, happily visualizing it swelled with his child. “Well, I suggest we practice very hard so we’re ready when the time comes.”
“I was hoping you would think that way,” she said, brushing her lips to his.
He responded in kind, pulling her closer, breathing harder when she fit alongside him, her body seeming made to curve into his.
His hands roamed across her back, wanting to touch every inch of her, to know her more fully than he ever had before. He was a complete man now that he was back with her.
He had everything he’d ever wanted or needed. He was King of a prosperous kingdom, alliances and treaties made with his neighboring kingdoms. He was surrounded by friends and protectors, those he could trust with his life. He would wash away all the old fears and prejudices and intolerance in his kingdom, ruling as best as he could with the tools he was given. Perhaps one day he would be a father and he hoped to be the best father a son could have. Things were finally right and equal between him and Merlin. Arthur did not have to wonder any longer about Morgana or about upheaval to his people.
Mostly though, mostly he had Guinevere, here in his arms, in his bed, in his life, in his heart. They moved together through the night and she utterly consumed him, the purely physical pleasure not even matched by the unconditional love he felt from her and strove to reflect back. If this is what it was to love, then all the pain before had been worth it. They were finally together, at rest, and Arthur wouldn’t have it any other way.