(no subject)
I dont really feel like i have any right to be talking about this but....
Julie. It's on my mind all the time, just random things will happen and i will think about her. When i step back to just enjoy the day for a second, i'll find myself thinking of her. I actually think it's made me do things like that more.. just enjoy life, kinda? And I think twice... i think alot more than twice... about stupid petty problems i have with people. It takes alot more now, i think, for me to dislike someone. Because i just wish i hadnt been stupid. I know i was learning, and that it's all a part of growing up, but i really feel that she has changed alot of things about how i view life. I say i love you more to the people i love. I try not to be on bad terms with anyone, and to let them know how i feel. If i had tried, i think we could have been good friends. But i pray for her, and her friends and family.
It's been a month. It has taken about this long for it to sink in really. Actually i dont know if it will ever fully sink in. When i think about it for the first time in awhile i go through that shock again, that disbelief. I almost feel like i cant comprehend it. I have never in my life had to deal with death. Sometimes i will just sit here and look at pictures and just cry. But honestly, i havent talked to anyone about it really because i dont feel worthy enough. Its a good thing i think. Its a reality check. or something. I read in all the profiles, "in our hearts and thoughts forever." And i agree, because it applies to me too. She will cross my mind at times, i think, for the rest of my life.
So i guess i dont know why im writing this, i just wanted to put it out there. even though no one reads livejournals anymore. She was an amazing girl, weather you liked her or not her presence was unforgettable and her personality was irreplaceable. she was gorgeous. She will be missed so much. And I dont know what else to say.
Thanks.
Julie. It's on my mind all the time, just random things will happen and i will think about her. When i step back to just enjoy the day for a second, i'll find myself thinking of her. I actually think it's made me do things like that more.. just enjoy life, kinda? And I think twice... i think alot more than twice... about stupid petty problems i have with people. It takes alot more now, i think, for me to dislike someone. Because i just wish i hadnt been stupid. I know i was learning, and that it's all a part of growing up, but i really feel that she has changed alot of things about how i view life. I say i love you more to the people i love. I try not to be on bad terms with anyone, and to let them know how i feel. If i had tried, i think we could have been good friends. But i pray for her, and her friends and family.
It's been a month. It has taken about this long for it to sink in really. Actually i dont know if it will ever fully sink in. When i think about it for the first time in awhile i go through that shock again, that disbelief. I almost feel like i cant comprehend it. I have never in my life had to deal with death. Sometimes i will just sit here and look at pictures and just cry. But honestly, i havent talked to anyone about it really because i dont feel worthy enough. Its a good thing i think. Its a reality check. or something. I read in all the profiles, "in our hearts and thoughts forever." And i agree, because it applies to me too. She will cross my mind at times, i think, for the rest of my life.
So i guess i dont know why im writing this, i just wanted to put it out there. even though no one reads livejournals anymore. She was an amazing girl, weather you liked her or not her presence was unforgettable and her personality was irreplaceable. she was gorgeous. She will be missed so much. And I dont know what else to say.
Thanks.