nothing much to do..
it's tuesday, which is day 2 on my 5 days i get off a week from work.
i really need to find out when i can take my test. i can't live on the money i make. all of my money goes to gas and cigarettes. my car guzzles gas. it takes almost $40 to fill my tank and then i only get about 190 miles before i have to fill it up again. doesn't help that my work is 30 miles away, and my friends live anywhere for 10-35 miles away from me.
i guess i am just gettin restless with the way my life is at the moment. i know there isn't much i can do about it, but i feel like i am in limbo. graduated cosmo school but not a licensed cosmo yet, and working 2 days a week as a receptionist. i feel like by the time i do start working i've already forgotten all that i've learned. but i contradict myself because sometimes i think "well how in the hell could you have forgotten how to cut hair, you were in school for 11 months what the fuck did you do for the whole 11 monthes!?!?" and then i remember..smoking durring lunch break, smoking durring cigarette breaks, vegging out in the lab...but i wasn't the only one who kind of slacked.
i don't know if it's because i dropped out of highschool that i don't have a good sense of disciplin in school but i really fucked off alot in cosmetology school. i always admired the older people in my class, the 30 somethings and 40 something year olds who took everything very seriously and always worked diligantly. maybe they worked so hard because they knew they were on their last chance at a career. most of them had houses and kids and spouses to worry about.
but then there's me, living with my parents. not paying a single bill. just the gas i burn in my car. so how seriously am i going to take it.
*something that just dawned on me* i will have to start paying my financial aid back soon. LOL can't believe i forgot about that.
all my life is "i want i want i want". when will i learn to just be happy with that i have?
i really need to find out when i can take my test. i can't live on the money i make. all of my money goes to gas and cigarettes. my car guzzles gas. it takes almost $40 to fill my tank and then i only get about 190 miles before i have to fill it up again. doesn't help that my work is 30 miles away, and my friends live anywhere for 10-35 miles away from me.
i guess i am just gettin restless with the way my life is at the moment. i know there isn't much i can do about it, but i feel like i am in limbo. graduated cosmo school but not a licensed cosmo yet, and working 2 days a week as a receptionist. i feel like by the time i do start working i've already forgotten all that i've learned. but i contradict myself because sometimes i think "well how in the hell could you have forgotten how to cut hair, you were in school for 11 months what the fuck did you do for the whole 11 monthes!?!?" and then i remember..smoking durring lunch break, smoking durring cigarette breaks, vegging out in the lab...but i wasn't the only one who kind of slacked.
i don't know if it's because i dropped out of highschool that i don't have a good sense of disciplin in school but i really fucked off alot in cosmetology school. i always admired the older people in my class, the 30 somethings and 40 something year olds who took everything very seriously and always worked diligantly. maybe they worked so hard because they knew they were on their last chance at a career. most of them had houses and kids and spouses to worry about.
but then there's me, living with my parents. not paying a single bill. just the gas i burn in my car. so how seriously am i going to take it.
*something that just dawned on me* i will have to start paying my financial aid back soon. LOL can't believe i forgot about that.
all my life is "i want i want i want". when will i learn to just be happy with that i have?