Things learned.
"all things work for good for those who love the Lord." is what my Grammy told me this morning when trying to help me through this break up.
This has really made me realize that I must build up my other relationships-with my family and friends especially, and not just discard new people in my life with things I say to try to deter them, because I may never know what could come of it.
It really hurts that he isnt caring about me during this time. He knows I'm in pain, and that I'm suffering the loss. And its okay to grieve is what my Dad told me. I was telling him that I spent so much time w/ Everett and he said that it wasnt time wasted, that I learned a lot through this relationship. I most definately did. We spent a lot of time together doing things I like and I realized the fun in mountain biking, kayaking, etc. But also that we couldnt make the relationship work that we wanted b/c we lived so far away. And that is ok. I mean Tyler didnt come around until a few months later after not talking to me at all. But he was bad news! haha. But other things that I learned through Ev and my relationship is that its not okay to always want to shock people, I must read more and learn more and use my knowledge in intelligent conversation and stimulate my own brain when I am alone. I learned that I am really great in bed! Which I will always have...and he wont ;) haha just kidding so is he. But I learned that I am a very sexual being..I mean i knew that before, but i got to put it into practice with him and I enjoyed it. I know there are things I need to work on, like always listening to voicemails, taking care of my car, not procrastinating. Those are things I individually need to work on. He nagged me a lot about things but if I had only got them done ASAP then it would be okay and I would be a productive being that was focused on my life. That is what I want to be. He really did help me through one of the most difficult times in my life when my whole world changed and my future was uncertain. Some things about me in the relationship I need to work on during my next one is speaking my mind no matter what, arguing more about what I believe in, and not letting him get away with wanting other girls in the relationship. But its over for now, and I must move on and maybe if we are meant to be in the future it will come back to me. I really dont think we are compatible though, we value very different things. He was really feminine about things, and I like someone who is strong and can contain their emotions, even though I did like when he really told me how he felt. I hope i dont judge others guys feeling like that in the future. Its doubtful if i will ever have a relationship like this again. But you never know...I ran twice yesterday with lydia and Emily, excercise is good for me, I'm going to try and get off the anti-depressants with diet and excercise. I'm looking forward to Grammy's house, it will be great. I want to be like her when I am older.
This has really made me realize that I must build up my other relationships-with my family and friends especially, and not just discard new people in my life with things I say to try to deter them, because I may never know what could come of it.
It really hurts that he isnt caring about me during this time. He knows I'm in pain, and that I'm suffering the loss. And its okay to grieve is what my Dad told me. I was telling him that I spent so much time w/ Everett and he said that it wasnt time wasted, that I learned a lot through this relationship. I most definately did. We spent a lot of time together doing things I like and I realized the fun in mountain biking, kayaking, etc. But also that we couldnt make the relationship work that we wanted b/c we lived so far away. And that is ok. I mean Tyler didnt come around until a few months later after not talking to me at all. But he was bad news! haha. But other things that I learned through Ev and my relationship is that its not okay to always want to shock people, I must read more and learn more and use my knowledge in intelligent conversation and stimulate my own brain when I am alone. I learned that I am really great in bed! Which I will always have...and he wont ;) haha just kidding so is he. But I learned that I am a very sexual being..I mean i knew that before, but i got to put it into practice with him and I enjoyed it. I know there are things I need to work on, like always listening to voicemails, taking care of my car, not procrastinating. Those are things I individually need to work on. He nagged me a lot about things but if I had only got them done ASAP then it would be okay and I would be a productive being that was focused on my life. That is what I want to be. He really did help me through one of the most difficult times in my life when my whole world changed and my future was uncertain. Some things about me in the relationship I need to work on during my next one is speaking my mind no matter what, arguing more about what I believe in, and not letting him get away with wanting other girls in the relationship. But its over for now, and I must move on and maybe if we are meant to be in the future it will come back to me. I really dont think we are compatible though, we value very different things. He was really feminine about things, and I like someone who is strong and can contain their emotions, even though I did like when he really told me how he felt. I hope i dont judge others guys feeling like that in the future. Its doubtful if i will ever have a relationship like this again. But you never know...I ran twice yesterday with lydia and Emily, excercise is good for me, I'm going to try and get off the anti-depressants with diet and excercise. I'm looking forward to Grammy's house, it will be great. I want to be like her when I am older.