lastnight and my struggle with sanity
I was going absolutely insane lastnight. I feared for my life. Cryed a lot more and the tears felt more real than ever. I felt so much pain, and I figured out the reason why only today. I realized that I just fear that my love for josh has changed dramatically. I am really fucking paranoid that we are loosing hope in love. And I have never felt this before. Love, and being in love, has always been an important factor in my life and something that I always treasured. Now that I feel it slipping through my fingers, I fear that my life is taking too many drastic changes that I am just not ready for.
I was not capable of sleeping, even as my tears dried, sleep just seemed utterly pointless to me. I tossed and turned, layed at Josh' feet even. Hoped to gah that some answer as to why I was feeling the way I was would come to me. I needed to know. I had an inkling, but it wasn't very prominent.
I was suffering, out of mind, outta control. I found it finally. As my eyes shut tightly. I didn't even wake up until 3 this afternoon. But, I still have the premonition and fear that love will always be at a loss. Hopefully not though.
I was not capable of sleeping, even as my tears dried, sleep just seemed utterly pointless to me. I tossed and turned, layed at Josh' feet even. Hoped to gah that some answer as to why I was feeling the way I was would come to me. I needed to know. I had an inkling, but it wasn't very prominent.
I was suffering, out of mind, outta control. I found it finally. As my eyes shut tightly. I didn't even wake up until 3 this afternoon. But, I still have the premonition and fear that love will always be at a loss. Hopefully not though.