Defeated
For awhile I was going strong. Working on weddings, excited about my business, happy with Meridyth and the house and work.
It's funny that suddenly everything seems to change. I haven't had an e-mail about a wedding in weeks. Meridyth is falling apart and her birthday turned into a huge disaster. I wanted to drink last night really bad and I actually bought tons of stuff at the liquor store but I realized that, that is something I did when I was 21 or 22 and now I don't need it.
Mentally I feel healthy. I am stressed about starting a new job and watching the monster children but overall I know what is good for me and how to stay healthy.
I ran 4.5 miles yesterday. I hurt today but it is an accomplished hurt.
I want to paint but lack the motivation. I want to scan my photographs but don't want to drive anywhere.
What I end up doing is cleaning. Yet my cleaning is unproductive and it just feels like I am moving boxes around from one corner to another.
It's funny that suddenly everything seems to change. I haven't had an e-mail about a wedding in weeks. Meridyth is falling apart and her birthday turned into a huge disaster. I wanted to drink last night really bad and I actually bought tons of stuff at the liquor store but I realized that, that is something I did when I was 21 or 22 and now I don't need it.
Mentally I feel healthy. I am stressed about starting a new job and watching the monster children but overall I know what is good for me and how to stay healthy.
I ran 4.5 miles yesterday. I hurt today but it is an accomplished hurt.
I want to paint but lack the motivation. I want to scan my photographs but don't want to drive anywhere.
What I end up doing is cleaning. Yet my cleaning is unproductive and it just feels like I am moving boxes around from one corner to another.