Oct 27, 2006 21:50
They talk about how cut-throat the corporate world is. However, I'm starting to see that academia is not much different. I have my flaws, but I've always considered myself to be ethical. The idea of lying, cheating, or stealing to get ahead makes me recoil in horror. I don't want to smile and joke around with my classmates only to turn around and stab them in the back for my own personal gain. That's not who I am, nor who I want to be. I'm so tired of comparing myself to others, judging my own successes by their failures. People say that it is a question of survival and only the strongest can win. But that depends on one's perception of 'winning'. If a friend and I were drowning in a lake and I didn't have a life jacket on, would I push their head underwater so I could stay afloat, or would I try to swim to shore? This is not an episode of Survivor. This is my life, and I have to live with my own inner demons for another 60 years or so. I want to look at myself in the mirror on the day that I die and see someone who has managed to surpass her own limitations at her own pace. I won't let this world change me. I promise.