kiss your soul
ive been very mia to live journal lately...i think that might be a good thing.
much of what im extremely excited about i cant really write in here and since that is much of my life =)...looks like i wont have anything to write about for awhile...
other than that...i guess i do have some sort of a life outside of fish camp =)...but the more i think about it, the more i realize that if my life doesnt have somethign going on directly related to whats going on right now in fish camp...it has something to do with SOMEONE that ive met in fish camp. (thats any someone...im just emphasizing that most of my friends are in it).
I sat down and finally wrote that list of things i wanted to get out of this year...mostly about what i wanted to see happen as a cochair...not necessarily "getting" things out of this year...but mostly giving. The thing about setting expectations high is that theres always that fear of that huge plunge into dissapointment...but the other side of it is the overwhelming feeling of satisfaction and gratitude you get when those expecations are surpassed. Hopefully, everything will turn out as the latter =). I sound really uptight in this journal...definitely not how i wanted to write this. Lately, just doing ANYTHING that is getting this year started for not only us but for our counselors AND our freshmen =), has got me wayyyy excited. NOt gonna lie, i love wearing my long sleeve staff shirt and just talking about fish camp to random (yet could be our counselors =)) people. I talked to my dad today about it, and i think it was the first time ever that ive had a conversation with my dad about it...well rephrase, a 2 sided conversation with my dad. Usually, he just lectures me on "what is fish camp going to do for my future?" but this time i actually had an answer and although it didnt really have much to do with MY personal future, i realized that my dad finally appreciated that that is exactlly WHY fish camp is so valuable to me...because i can actually be a part of somethign that benefits SOMEONE ELSE's future. I dont think he'll ever understand completely...and ive been thinking about asking one of my parents as my guest at fish camp (aside from my campfire speaker =)) so that they could maybe see a little bit of it first time...but i think ill have to warm them up to that idea a little bit before i ask. The last thing i want is to go through this year entire time and finally get to lakeview as happy as can be and then my dad just look at it as something petty and stupid...which he could do...and i dont want that to ruin that experience.
As far as classes go...i didnt realize how 12 hours could seem like nothing compared to 16. Only not so good day i have is wednesday...two classes both in spanish (thats gonna suck) and then a 3hr night class that really is a 3hr class. Still not to fond of being a bilingual ed teacher...or working when i graduate...so we'll see about that...
mmm last topic. Not one thats been mentioned a lot here lately..and since i dont have this up on my profile anymore, im not so hesitant to write about it. Okay i guess i am. You know what sucks...when you know there is no excuse in your mind why something cant happen, no matter how much you deny it or say it wont work so you can spare yourself from the hope and dissapointment...deep down, in your eyes, it would be perfect. You know what sucks even more, being almost positive that there is one reason why it wouldnt work out, and its not because of you...or it could be completely.
much of what im extremely excited about i cant really write in here and since that is much of my life =)...looks like i wont have anything to write about for awhile...
other than that...i guess i do have some sort of a life outside of fish camp =)...but the more i think about it, the more i realize that if my life doesnt have somethign going on directly related to whats going on right now in fish camp...it has something to do with SOMEONE that ive met in fish camp. (thats any someone...im just emphasizing that most of my friends are in it).
I sat down and finally wrote that list of things i wanted to get out of this year...mostly about what i wanted to see happen as a cochair...not necessarily "getting" things out of this year...but mostly giving. The thing about setting expectations high is that theres always that fear of that huge plunge into dissapointment...but the other side of it is the overwhelming feeling of satisfaction and gratitude you get when those expecations are surpassed. Hopefully, everything will turn out as the latter =). I sound really uptight in this journal...definitely not how i wanted to write this. Lately, just doing ANYTHING that is getting this year started for not only us but for our counselors AND our freshmen =), has got me wayyyy excited. NOt gonna lie, i love wearing my long sleeve staff shirt and just talking about fish camp to random (yet could be our counselors =)) people. I talked to my dad today about it, and i think it was the first time ever that ive had a conversation with my dad about it...well rephrase, a 2 sided conversation with my dad. Usually, he just lectures me on "what is fish camp going to do for my future?" but this time i actually had an answer and although it didnt really have much to do with MY personal future, i realized that my dad finally appreciated that that is exactlly WHY fish camp is so valuable to me...because i can actually be a part of somethign that benefits SOMEONE ELSE's future. I dont think he'll ever understand completely...and ive been thinking about asking one of my parents as my guest at fish camp (aside from my campfire speaker =)) so that they could maybe see a little bit of it first time...but i think ill have to warm them up to that idea a little bit before i ask. The last thing i want is to go through this year entire time and finally get to lakeview as happy as can be and then my dad just look at it as something petty and stupid...which he could do...and i dont want that to ruin that experience.
As far as classes go...i didnt realize how 12 hours could seem like nothing compared to 16. Only not so good day i have is wednesday...two classes both in spanish (thats gonna suck) and then a 3hr night class that really is a 3hr class. Still not to fond of being a bilingual ed teacher...or working when i graduate...so we'll see about that...
mmm last topic. Not one thats been mentioned a lot here lately..and since i dont have this up on my profile anymore, im not so hesitant to write about it. Okay i guess i am. You know what sucks...when you know there is no excuse in your mind why something cant happen, no matter how much you deny it or say it wont work so you can spare yourself from the hope and dissapointment...deep down, in your eyes, it would be perfect. You know what sucks even more, being almost positive that there is one reason why it wouldnt work out, and its not because of you...or it could be completely.