(no subject)
So, I have gotten up at like 5:12 am to work on my homework. And what do I do, just kinda surf the internet instead. Brilliant Elizabeth way to go. It was weird like when I usually go to bed it's like think about happy thoughts, crap I can't even think. The seasons are changing and this is the first time in three years that I have been somewhere else besides the U.P. during the fall. The feeling in the air and just everything. Memories rush through me and the meaning of home takes on new meaning. The person I'm dating really likes it here or kinda does. Well it's working for him I should say. I am just so sick of everything here. I know that I am complaining but thats just how it is. I hate it. The only thing is I make really good money where I work. Right now I can't move any where. The only hope I have is to get an apartment. What is even worse is I'm listing to old ja rule hits ( I'm real w/ Jlo and always on time w/Ashanti). Yeah you know I'm feeling that.
I mean all I can think about is buying some little treats to maybe make it better but I don't want to become a TN druggy cause down doing drugs is just kinda trashy. The women, the freakin stuck up little princess of the south and the freakin dumb ass rednecks. What the hell man. Honestly, it's ridicules. " Oh she will be having this and that, bla bla" The guys will order for their wives, or girlfriends and such. The most ironically funny thing is on Sunday it is as if people are even more picky. I am a server, I'm here to serve you your food not to entertain you and kiss your ass. Then get a shity tip on top of it. Sunday is the worst day for tips. It's like people spend their money at church then go to eat and think saying you did a good job is a tip. Oh yeah the racism. Well I get more shit because I'm a northern then because I am black. Or it might be a combination of the two. I say this to say, I thought I could make it work, I thought you know I could have some fun. But when you get down to it this place just sucks. And I am just completly drained and feel pretty helpless to fix anything. It's a matter of money, school and just where to start.
Being in a relationship with an awesome guy helps but the feelings of being trapped are still here. I know I can't move back to the U.P. because well, I would be stuck at northern forever, plus most of my friends would be leaving next year anyways. My parents, yeah they really don't help. My mom has become for the first time in her life very discouraging to almost anything to do that deals with me moving on. She's like I now you feel lonely but.. at that point I usually leave the room or just stop listing. Why because I don't want to hear it. Then she's like school this and school that. Totally against any school that is not in TN. I think I just need a break. I just need to take a weekend off and go some where. Some place that isn't TN.
But wait funny story about how ridicules people can get. I guess before I worked at Puleo's there was a huge incident of blatant racism. So this table comes in, and Brandon goes to greet the table. He's black and their like ummm.. could we have another server please. So he's like alright and goes to get another server. I mean he doesn't think anything of it really because some people have favorites and such. So he goes and gets Gary. Yeah he's black too, so Gary goes to the table, and the table is pissed. They get up and walk out cursing the hostess as they leave.
I mean all I can think about is buying some little treats to maybe make it better but I don't want to become a TN druggy cause down doing drugs is just kinda trashy. The women, the freakin stuck up little princess of the south and the freakin dumb ass rednecks. What the hell man. Honestly, it's ridicules. " Oh she will be having this and that, bla bla" The guys will order for their wives, or girlfriends and such. The most ironically funny thing is on Sunday it is as if people are even more picky. I am a server, I'm here to serve you your food not to entertain you and kiss your ass. Then get a shity tip on top of it. Sunday is the worst day for tips. It's like people spend their money at church then go to eat and think saying you did a good job is a tip. Oh yeah the racism. Well I get more shit because I'm a northern then because I am black. Or it might be a combination of the two. I say this to say, I thought I could make it work, I thought you know I could have some fun. But when you get down to it this place just sucks. And I am just completly drained and feel pretty helpless to fix anything. It's a matter of money, school and just where to start.
Being in a relationship with an awesome guy helps but the feelings of being trapped are still here. I know I can't move back to the U.P. because well, I would be stuck at northern forever, plus most of my friends would be leaving next year anyways. My parents, yeah they really don't help. My mom has become for the first time in her life very discouraging to almost anything to do that deals with me moving on. She's like I now you feel lonely but.. at that point I usually leave the room or just stop listing. Why because I don't want to hear it. Then she's like school this and school that. Totally against any school that is not in TN. I think I just need a break. I just need to take a weekend off and go some where. Some place that isn't TN.
But wait funny story about how ridicules people can get. I guess before I worked at Puleo's there was a huge incident of blatant racism. So this table comes in, and Brandon goes to greet the table. He's black and their like ummm.. could we have another server please. So he's like alright and goes to get another server. I mean he doesn't think anything of it really because some people have favorites and such. So he goes and gets Gary. Yeah he's black too, so Gary goes to the table, and the table is pissed. They get up and walk out cursing the hostess as they leave.