What went wrong?
Tonight I went through the stuff Luke left. Sifting through it.
I came across the letters and notes he used to give me.
What happened to that love he had for me? He was so excited about me. He was eager to spend his life with me. He gave me lots of notes and letters. Showering me with his dotes.
Where did I go wrong?
Did I change?
As soon as I start to put him down... I just think no. Things werent that bad. Then I think so why couldn't we work things out? Was it me? He tells me it isn't all me. It isn't all him. It isn't a cut and dry horrible break up.
We are two people. Two people who love each other but who's lives aren't supposed to be together. In his notes that he gave me during our dating phase, he would say God has a plan for us. Is this the plan God had for us? Were we supposed to be married for just three years?
He would write I can't wait to see where we will be in four years. hm well that didn't work out.
How can I move on? If feels like a part of me has died. I may as well have cut my right arm off. How do I function as a single person? How do I function without having someone there with me. Someone I can count on?
Did I loose myself in him? did I become too dependent on him? He was such a natural leader, did I forgo my own desires because it was easier to just go with the flow?
Maybe I didn't write enough notes to him. Did I not love him enough?
How can I go forward with another relationship knowing how I failed in my last one?
Am I broken now?
A damaged soul.
Defected and divorced.
Where is my life going?
I have recently dabbled in the dating field again. I have gone out to bars with my friend and had a good time. Drinks. Free drinks. And guys hitting on me, talking to me and just having fun. I got a number and went out with a R.W. After the night I met him, I went out with him once. Not so much... I have been IMing a Ryan H and that is goign well. I like him. He serenades me with IM singing. lol, it is fun.
It all feels strange though.
How can I be with someone else who isn't Luc.
He was my first everything.
First real boyfriend
First kiss
First sex...
First hubby... :(
First real break up...
I am on my own now. He is back in Reno.
It is too late.
At this point we have alot to work on if we were to get back together.
He isn't coming back to me
He is gone
he is gone
Now I must find myself again.
It is time to presson as my mominlaw would say...
Presson with out my Luc by my side...
I came across the letters and notes he used to give me.
What happened to that love he had for me? He was so excited about me. He was eager to spend his life with me. He gave me lots of notes and letters. Showering me with his dotes.
Where did I go wrong?
Did I change?
As soon as I start to put him down... I just think no. Things werent that bad. Then I think so why couldn't we work things out? Was it me? He tells me it isn't all me. It isn't all him. It isn't a cut and dry horrible break up.
We are two people. Two people who love each other but who's lives aren't supposed to be together. In his notes that he gave me during our dating phase, he would say God has a plan for us. Is this the plan God had for us? Were we supposed to be married for just three years?
He would write I can't wait to see where we will be in four years. hm well that didn't work out.
How can I move on? If feels like a part of me has died. I may as well have cut my right arm off. How do I function as a single person? How do I function without having someone there with me. Someone I can count on?
Did I loose myself in him? did I become too dependent on him? He was such a natural leader, did I forgo my own desires because it was easier to just go with the flow?
Maybe I didn't write enough notes to him. Did I not love him enough?
How can I go forward with another relationship knowing how I failed in my last one?
Am I broken now?
A damaged soul.
Defected and divorced.
Where is my life going?
I have recently dabbled in the dating field again. I have gone out to bars with my friend and had a good time. Drinks. Free drinks. And guys hitting on me, talking to me and just having fun. I got a number and went out with a R.W. After the night I met him, I went out with him once. Not so much... I have been IMing a Ryan H and that is goign well. I like him. He serenades me with IM singing. lol, it is fun.
It all feels strange though.
How can I be with someone else who isn't Luc.
He was my first everything.
First real boyfriend
First kiss
First sex...
First hubby... :(
First real break up...
I am on my own now. He is back in Reno.
It is too late.
At this point we have alot to work on if we were to get back together.
He isn't coming back to me
He is gone
he is gone
Now I must find myself again.
It is time to presson as my mominlaw would say...
Presson with out my Luc by my side...