ABC Mini Storage
The ABC Valley location has a reader board right off the freeway, which usually has cute/funny/clever sayings. Today, though, I am disappointed in it. The board reads, "One thing money can't buy is poverty." I beg to differ.
Here is how it is done. Liquidate all your assets. A few days before your next payday, call your bank to inform them that you will be needing to withdraw your entire account balance in cash on the day after your payday. Proceed to follow-through on this. You now have precisely the amount of money required to buy poverty. To find a vendor, go downtown and approach homeless people. Say to one, "I would like to buy your poverty for $(insert amount of cash withdrawn from bank here). I have it in cash right now. Do we have a deal?" You may have to try multiple people. Some may believe that you are insane and will want nothing to do with you. However, in this manner you should be able to find a vendor of the poverty you seek.
You could also rent poverty by sponsoring enough children in third world countries to reduce your monthly income to poverty level. But that's another story.
Here is how it is done. Liquidate all your assets. A few days before your next payday, call your bank to inform them that you will be needing to withdraw your entire account balance in cash on the day after your payday. Proceed to follow-through on this. You now have precisely the amount of money required to buy poverty. To find a vendor, go downtown and approach homeless people. Say to one, "I would like to buy your poverty for $(insert amount of cash withdrawn from bank here). I have it in cash right now. Do we have a deal?" You may have to try multiple people. Some may believe that you are insane and will want nothing to do with you. However, in this manner you should be able to find a vendor of the poverty you seek.
You could also rent poverty by sponsoring enough children in third world countries to reduce your monthly income to poverty level. But that's another story.