Project blog.
So lately I have been inspired to start a journal, but my perfectionism has not allowed me to begin one because I don't have a journal. Sure, there are about 42 half used notebooks from high school and college I could re-use, but where's the beauty in that (Actually, I do see the beauty in the green-ness of it, but, still, I didn't wanna). So I was thinking I would buy a pretty one from Barnes & Noble or some place similar and start it at some milestone, such as The Beginning of Summer, or Beau's Gone to Boot Camp, or The Birth of My Daughter. But that aggravated me because what makes anyone of those milestones more important than the other? So important that I had to start a journal?!
And So I figured I would wait and start it on 11/11/2010. Because then I would be a quarter of a century old. Surely that is a milestone appropriate to start journaling.
But as I was reading Jewel's blog series on The Boot, which is some AOL.com thing she's got going on right now, I was just too inspired to put it off anymore. I'd link the blog, because it's very interesting, but I can't figure out how to do it simply, and I don't feel like looking up how to put the link in with html. I haven't done that in years.
But anyways.
I was googling different blogging websites so that I could start one tonight but I decided that my current journal that already has a little bit of my history was the best place for it.
I'd like to start using this thing regularly for a few different reasons. First, I really have an abnormally horrid memory, and if I didn't write some things down or have someone remind me constantly that something has happened in my life, I'll probably forget it. Or most of it. It's really a sad part of my life and when I have good medical insurance, I plan to have my head checked, because this can't be normal. So the first reason I want to write more often is to record my life and feelings and thoughts so that I can know that they did exist when I am further down this road of life. The second reason I want to start blogging is to help organize my thoughts. I know there is a creative, bright, and witty person inside of me, but I am always way too scatterbrained to let that part out. There's always something I should be doing, or reading, or cleaning, or playing with, or satisfying ;) or calling or something that I rarely get to see Jessica anymore. I am mostly just someone's mom and someone's wife... I really need to simplify things so that I can be me, as well. And in turn, be a better mommy and wife. The third reason is just to tell my story. I feel like no one knows where I am really coming from so I figure I will just let it out here, take it or leave it, but it's the real deal. Also, people need someone to talk to, and as it stands I don't have just one person to hear me out, so I will use this avenue.
I think I will try to write on here every time Beau gets online to play video games... that way I'll have some time to my self to focus on it and I'll write fairly consistently.
I appreciate any comments. I want honesty though. I'm sick of polite little happy faces that tell me nothing of your real thoughts. I know the people in my life actually have thoughts and opinions and are deeper than they are normally allowed to be and I really want to know those people.
I am craving a friendship in my life, and yet I feel life is always too complicated to develop one. I can be a great friend, yet I seldom am one. I use to be so selfless, and now I just look out for me my family's needs.
There are so many things I need to work out and I just hope that writing about it helps me center myself a little better than before.
I think Beau's wrapping up the game for tonight. Time to watch my DVR'd episode of Project Runway. After I clean the kitchen.
And So I figured I would wait and start it on 11/11/2010. Because then I would be a quarter of a century old. Surely that is a milestone appropriate to start journaling.
But as I was reading Jewel's blog series on The Boot, which is some AOL.com thing she's got going on right now, I was just too inspired to put it off anymore. I'd link the blog, because it's very interesting, but I can't figure out how to do it simply, and I don't feel like looking up how to put the link in with html. I haven't done that in years.
But anyways.
I was googling different blogging websites so that I could start one tonight but I decided that my current journal that already has a little bit of my history was the best place for it.
I'd like to start using this thing regularly for a few different reasons. First, I really have an abnormally horrid memory, and if I didn't write some things down or have someone remind me constantly that something has happened in my life, I'll probably forget it. Or most of it. It's really a sad part of my life and when I have good medical insurance, I plan to have my head checked, because this can't be normal. So the first reason I want to write more often is to record my life and feelings and thoughts so that I can know that they did exist when I am further down this road of life. The second reason I want to start blogging is to help organize my thoughts. I know there is a creative, bright, and witty person inside of me, but I am always way too scatterbrained to let that part out. There's always something I should be doing, or reading, or cleaning, or playing with, or satisfying ;) or calling or something that I rarely get to see Jessica anymore. I am mostly just someone's mom and someone's wife... I really need to simplify things so that I can be me, as well. And in turn, be a better mommy and wife. The third reason is just to tell my story. I feel like no one knows where I am really coming from so I figure I will just let it out here, take it or leave it, but it's the real deal. Also, people need someone to talk to, and as it stands I don't have just one person to hear me out, so I will use this avenue.
I think I will try to write on here every time Beau gets online to play video games... that way I'll have some time to my self to focus on it and I'll write fairly consistently.
I appreciate any comments. I want honesty though. I'm sick of polite little happy faces that tell me nothing of your real thoughts. I know the people in my life actually have thoughts and opinions and are deeper than they are normally allowed to be and I really want to know those people.
I am craving a friendship in my life, and yet I feel life is always too complicated to develop one. I can be a great friend, yet I seldom am one. I use to be so selfless, and now I just look out for me my family's needs.
There are so many things I need to work out and I just hope that writing about it helps me center myself a little better than before.
I think Beau's wrapping up the game for tonight. Time to watch my DVR'd episode of Project Runway. After I clean the kitchen.