(no subject)
"Last night (Tuesday, December 12th at 8:30pm) I saw Elisha Cuthbert & Jesse Bradford sitting on a subway bench talking at the S train stop at Grand Central Station. They were in between takes while filming there new movie My Sassy Girl. Elisha was looking smoking hot wearing a dark jacket, grey scarf and knee high boots. I don't remember what Jesse was wearing. Jeans maybe?"
Well damn. You know you can't dress when online celebrity stalkers rarely mention you and when they do, they can't remember what you're wearing. It's not like I was naked that day, although if I were, they'd probably say something about it. Or if I was wearing a Cookie Monster outfit and handing out pastries to little kids, they might notice something about my wardrobe. I was definitely wearing jeans, not maybe. And a really cool shirt! And my hair was looking good that day. And my teeth, I started using whitening toothpaste. But they're all up on Elisha's boots, jacket, and scarf. And the thing that bugs me most is that if we were dressed in each other's clothing, they'd notice the hot button shirt, the leather jacket, the blue jeans, and Hush Puppy shoes. And the scarf, boots, and jacket wouldn't make their way to the column. SOB. Whoever this is, I'm getting them a "Grammar for Dummies" book with a note saying, "Hi, this is Jesse Bradford and not Elisha Cuthbert, reminding you that I dress good. Thank you! Love, Jesse. xoxo." DAMN IT, I DRESS GOOD! I WATCH QUEER EYE SOMETIMES, I GET THE TIPS!
Other than that, things are looking bright for Christmas if things keep going the way they're going. I still have yet to unscrew this huge smile on my face, which is partly there due to Christmas candies they're passing out at Toys R Us, but not entirely. And because of this I love everything and everybody in the world. Except the writer of the bit above, to whom I am sentimentally neutral or possibly less. Growl. But I love Elisha, even if I still believe I dress better than her. Knee-high boots? That's so 90s! Hush Puppies, now there's footwear. Not even Armani can beat that shit.
What's your favorite Christmas smell? Some people like the smell of snow on pine, some of cinammon and apple in the kitchen, some of department stores and their sweaty shoppers. Mine is kind of weird, I love the smell of videos. While the rest of the world moved from betamax to VHS to DVD (some to TiVo), I refuse to get rid of my VHS player mainly 'cause of home movies which I sometimes borrow from my parents when I'm feeling like it. There's nothing more Christmassy than seeing your first bath and stuff. I'm looking to make my own home movie this year, I bought myself a snazzy new video camera. Not that I'd use it much in the future, I went out on a limb and bought one for this one particular occassion. How Mariah Carey of me. If all goes well, I'll be watching that particular video this time next year. I don't know, a guy can hope. And no, I'm not talking about filming Elisha.
I was gonna go see KT Tunstall's show but instead she nudged me and I spent the night in bed trying to heal the bruise on my arm like I was an emo song. Haha, emu emo. But no, I had plans to pull a Courteney Cox to her Bruce Springsteen. I had been practicing some whacked out dance moves to "Suddenly I See." But alas KT nudged me.
So instead, I went out shopping for the holidays. Somewhat. I know it's easier when you can get things online, but I can't trust pictures. Yes, a picture is worth a thousand words, but in the cyber world, those words are commercial slogans tempting you to buy them when they break into a million pieces when you get them. But shopping is really difficult, I didn't know what to get people. All I ended up doing was buying candy for the carollers. So I went to Wal~Mart and got my mom some really cool furniture, and my dad some awesome clothing (what, only kids hate clothing for Christmas. And me.) The bigger gifts are the hardest ones to shop for, but I think I have a few things up my sleeve. I already tried buying Neverland, I'm about two bazillion dollars and fifteen cents short and MJ refused to negotiate. So there's that idea down the drain. But when you're a shopper like me, you're supposed to have Plan B's when it comes to these things. In fact, I have a Plan W too. I'm such a Wile E. Coyote. Only I know to buy some KFC's with $8 instead of spending a million for ways to catch a bird that sounds really foul tasting. Anything that beeps can't make good food. Disagree? Try eating a Hyundai.
I am feeling in love with the world. <3 Really, I feel like I love even the chick I got kebab yesterday from. You know, kebabs are good for your health, you should continuously have some for lunch. Anyway, I don't know what it is but all the love and Christmas going around makes me feel all fuzzy. Now, it feels like there's no secret message to decipher. ;)
I love you all. Love, Jesse.
P.S. I love you all. Okay, I keed. Most of you.
Well damn. You know you can't dress when online celebrity stalkers rarely mention you and when they do, they can't remember what you're wearing. It's not like I was naked that day, although if I were, they'd probably say something about it. Or if I was wearing a Cookie Monster outfit and handing out pastries to little kids, they might notice something about my wardrobe. I was definitely wearing jeans, not maybe. And a really cool shirt! And my hair was looking good that day. And my teeth, I started using whitening toothpaste. But they're all up on Elisha's boots, jacket, and scarf. And the thing that bugs me most is that if we were dressed in each other's clothing, they'd notice the hot button shirt, the leather jacket, the blue jeans, and Hush Puppy shoes. And the scarf, boots, and jacket wouldn't make their way to the column. SOB. Whoever this is, I'm getting them a "Grammar for Dummies" book with a note saying, "Hi, this is Jesse Bradford and not Elisha Cuthbert, reminding you that I dress good. Thank you! Love, Jesse. xoxo." DAMN IT, I DRESS GOOD! I WATCH QUEER EYE SOMETIMES, I GET THE TIPS!
Other than that, things are looking bright for Christmas if things keep going the way they're going. I still have yet to unscrew this huge smile on my face, which is partly there due to Christmas candies they're passing out at Toys R Us, but not entirely. And because of this I love everything and everybody in the world. Except the writer of the bit above, to whom I am sentimentally neutral or possibly less. Growl. But I love Elisha, even if I still believe I dress better than her. Knee-high boots? That's so 90s! Hush Puppies, now there's footwear. Not even Armani can beat that shit.
What's your favorite Christmas smell? Some people like the smell of snow on pine, some of cinammon and apple in the kitchen, some of department stores and their sweaty shoppers. Mine is kind of weird, I love the smell of videos. While the rest of the world moved from betamax to VHS to DVD (some to TiVo), I refuse to get rid of my VHS player mainly 'cause of home movies which I sometimes borrow from my parents when I'm feeling like it. There's nothing more Christmassy than seeing your first bath and stuff. I'm looking to make my own home movie this year, I bought myself a snazzy new video camera. Not that I'd use it much in the future, I went out on a limb and bought one for this one particular occassion. How Mariah Carey of me. If all goes well, I'll be watching that particular video this time next year. I don't know, a guy can hope. And no, I'm not talking about filming Elisha.
I was gonna go see KT Tunstall's show but instead she nudged me and I spent the night in bed trying to heal the bruise on my arm like I was an emo song. Haha, emu emo. But no, I had plans to pull a Courteney Cox to her Bruce Springsteen. I had been practicing some whacked out dance moves to "Suddenly I See." But alas KT nudged me.
So instead, I went out shopping for the holidays. Somewhat. I know it's easier when you can get things online, but I can't trust pictures. Yes, a picture is worth a thousand words, but in the cyber world, those words are commercial slogans tempting you to buy them when they break into a million pieces when you get them. But shopping is really difficult, I didn't know what to get people. All I ended up doing was buying candy for the carollers. So I went to Wal~Mart and got my mom some really cool furniture, and my dad some awesome clothing (what, only kids hate clothing for Christmas. And me.) The bigger gifts are the hardest ones to shop for, but I think I have a few things up my sleeve. I already tried buying Neverland, I'm about two bazillion dollars and fifteen cents short and MJ refused to negotiate. So there's that idea down the drain. But when you're a shopper like me, you're supposed to have Plan B's when it comes to these things. In fact, I have a Plan W too. I'm such a Wile E. Coyote. Only I know to buy some KFC's with $8 instead of spending a million for ways to catch a bird that sounds really foul tasting. Anything that beeps can't make good food. Disagree? Try eating a Hyundai.
I am feeling in love with the world. <3 Really, I feel like I love even the chick I got kebab yesterday from. You know, kebabs are good for your health, you should continuously have some for lunch. Anyway, I don't know what it is but all the love and Christmas going around makes me feel all fuzzy. Now, it feels like there's no secret message to decipher. ;)
I love you all. Love, Jesse.
P.S. I love you all. Okay, I keed. Most of you.