(no subject)
I think Texas is one of the most interesting places I've ever been, since it's like Munchkinland but in the place of people being short, every other guy and dog I meet are both called Bud or Bubbah or something like it. Anyway, I tried my hand at my best Texan accent as I went out for a walk somewhere in San Antonio, and it's amazing how almost everybody there was like, looking at me and going, "Y'ain't from there here parts, I can tell." And I just had to laugh it off and go away blushing of shame. And then some chick asked me what brand foundation I use. It's like Texans are given the Gift. The Gift being like a gaydar except it detects when people are not from Texas. It's some mad skills. Despite the setbacks, I've been feeling pretty country and driving around with Dolly Parton, Garth Brooks, Meredith Brooks, Meredith Edwards, other people named Brooks or Meredith, and so on playing on the radio. Which was interesting.
I had a Whataburger too and all I have to say is HOT DANG.
I was actually soaking up as much as I could from my free time because I'm about to have a career again and actually afford food without relying on Sheryl's fridge or Mia's wallet. Yeah, and people are paying me to fall in love with Elisha Cuthbert. And with some articles out there titled Bradford is a Sassy Girl, we know who wears the pants in that relationship. Sorry Elisha, I thought I tried for the part of the guy. Now I guess you'll have to butch up instead. :/
HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I just noticed this piece of cellophane tape on the wall, I was freaking out for a minute 'cause I thought it was like fucking saliva or something. And it's like, a bit yellow-ish so I don't think it was just put up. For something like that to get all yellow, it's gotta have been around for longer. Hmm. In the right light its creases and wrinkles make it look like a slightly thinner Bob Saget. Or Stallin.
Burp. Mmm tastes like chicken.
Anyway, last but not least. I promised to do some promo for my southern belle Kellie, she's been on the radio quite a bit out here. Anyway, this is her first single, a little ditty called "Red High Heels." No, it's not about Imelda Marcos. Sadly enough. :/ But I don't know, it's fun and lovely. And it's not gonna be out for a couple of days but when it does, I expect you to buy a copy. Come on, what's eight bucks? You people are supposed to have like, enough in your bank accounts to buy a country. Unless you're like Connie Chung, then sweetie go use Limewire and by the way I loved your work in the 90s. Anyway, here is a taste of the new Kellie Pickler who I like more than Carrie Underwood impersonating Dolly Parton impersonating Elvis singing Shania Twain songs like Cher with a banjo while doing a hoe-down on SNL. Seriously.
Kellie Pickler - Red High Heels
I will screen all hate comments. Grrr.
P.S. DAMN IT, GROW FOREHEADS PEOPLE. I thought I went over this two years ago.
I had a Whataburger too and all I have to say is HOT DANG.
I was actually soaking up as much as I could from my free time because I'm about to have a career again and actually afford food without relying on Sheryl's fridge or Mia's wallet. Yeah, and people are paying me to fall in love with Elisha Cuthbert. And with some articles out there titled Bradford is a Sassy Girl, we know who wears the pants in that relationship. Sorry Elisha, I thought I tried for the part of the guy. Now I guess you'll have to butch up instead. :/
HOLY FUCKING SHIT. I just noticed this piece of cellophane tape on the wall, I was freaking out for a minute 'cause I thought it was like fucking saliva or something. And it's like, a bit yellow-ish so I don't think it was just put up. For something like that to get all yellow, it's gotta have been around for longer. Hmm. In the right light its creases and wrinkles make it look like a slightly thinner Bob Saget. Or Stallin.
Burp. Mmm tastes like chicken.
Anyway, last but not least. I promised to do some promo for my southern belle Kellie, she's been on the radio quite a bit out here. Anyway, this is her first single, a little ditty called "Red High Heels." No, it's not about Imelda Marcos. Sadly enough. :/ But I don't know, it's fun and lovely. And it's not gonna be out for a couple of days but when it does, I expect you to buy a copy. Come on, what's eight bucks? You people are supposed to have like, enough in your bank accounts to buy a country. Unless you're like Connie Chung, then sweetie go use Limewire and by the way I loved your work in the 90s. Anyway, here is a taste of the new Kellie Pickler who I like more than Carrie Underwood impersonating Dolly Parton impersonating Elvis singing Shania Twain songs like Cher with a banjo while doing a hoe-down on SNL. Seriously.
Kellie Pickler - Red High Heels
I will screen all hate comments. Grrr.
P.S. DAMN IT, GROW FOREHEADS PEOPLE. I thought I went over this two years ago.