(no subject)
I've been getting clocked a lot. I know my voice is shit, but I guess coupled with me getting fat, it's just like I can't get people to take me as female. This fucking problem. It's always there. I have no idea how to have a decent self image when I get called sir so much. I get it over the phone. That happens. But like, in person? I have boobs and am wearing a non-male top. So like, what the hell?
Other than that, life continues apace. I have been spending most of my free time dealing with my lawn. It was in a horrible state of disrepair from last year. It is slowly getting back on track. Hopefully, I can catch up and actually get it to look semi-decent again. We'll see.
I still feel shitty. Every day is like this continual slog to find meaning and happiness and I fail miserably. I still cry every day. I'm at almost a full year of crying every single day. That can't be good for mental health. I don't have the courage to kill myself, so I just keep hoping I get in some accident.
Other than that, life continues apace. I have been spending most of my free time dealing with my lawn. It was in a horrible state of disrepair from last year. It is slowly getting back on track. Hopefully, I can catch up and actually get it to look semi-decent again. We'll see.
I still feel shitty. Every day is like this continual slog to find meaning and happiness and I fail miserably. I still cry every day. I'm at almost a full year of crying every single day. That can't be good for mental health. I don't have the courage to kill myself, so I just keep hoping I get in some accident.