What Constitutes "Loud"?
The other night I was asleep. Sleeping the sleep of the undead obviously, because the backyard chose to dismantle itself and I didn't hear a thing.
An ill wind was blowing in England. Severe gales up and down the land. Trees took to the skies, slates rattled, and a wall that runs the whole length of the yard tore itself down. Ok, it wasn't a tall wall... about four feet high or so, with a wooden slatted fence behind it to make the whole thing about six feet or so high. Well, with what must have been the quietest roar of protesting wood and stone in history, the whole thing is now in bits. Across the yard there are a good few hundred bricks; their fall did not wake me. The wooden fence came with it and came down with (and I do mean this with total seriousness) less than an inch to spare between it and my mother's car.
Somehow, I slept through all this. And my bedroom is at the back of the house, and only maybe 15 feet from where the wall began (once). And somehow the fence fell neatly without so much as scuffing the paintwork of the car. One side of it has a discreet layer of brickdust powdering it. The trashcan in the yard, which was empty and thus lighter, did not blow over though.
So I'm thinking I had one of those plasma vorticese things doing its thing in my backyard and I slept through it... how I manage with an alarm clock is beyond me. Chris Moyles must have a fucking loud voice, I can tell you... either that or an annoying one.
An ill wind was blowing in England. Severe gales up and down the land. Trees took to the skies, slates rattled, and a wall that runs the whole length of the yard tore itself down. Ok, it wasn't a tall wall... about four feet high or so, with a wooden slatted fence behind it to make the whole thing about six feet or so high. Well, with what must have been the quietest roar of protesting wood and stone in history, the whole thing is now in bits. Across the yard there are a good few hundred bricks; their fall did not wake me. The wooden fence came with it and came down with (and I do mean this with total seriousness) less than an inch to spare between it and my mother's car.
Somehow, I slept through all this. And my bedroom is at the back of the house, and only maybe 15 feet from where the wall began (once). And somehow the fence fell neatly without so much as scuffing the paintwork of the car. One side of it has a discreet layer of brickdust powdering it. The trashcan in the yard, which was empty and thus lighter, did not blow over though.
So I'm thinking I had one of those plasma vorticese things doing its thing in my backyard and I slept through it... how I manage with an alarm clock is beyond me. Chris Moyles must have a fucking loud voice, I can tell you... either that or an annoying one.