"acceptance in her eyes, was simply another means for survival.."
well im in one of those situations where i probably shoudlnt talk about this, but im someone who doesnt really care if people know stuff so here goes..well some of my friends know that i went to a brain doctor on friday in hopes of figureing why ive been getting major headaches for two years. well the doctor did some tests and he asked met aloot of personal questions and hehad a few guesses why ive been feeling so sick.(and mayeb if my whole stomach sickness is connected to my head) and so he suggested alot of things i should do, change what i eat, get a xray of my head, go see this certain stomach doctor, and one mor ethin that my mom wasnt to proud of. he gave me a prescription for anti-depressents cuz he thinks that im someone that has a "chemical embalance" and they woul help. so im all right with that. thats fine. but anyway tongiht im in the carwith my mom and she goes "hey chel have you taken those pills yet" me:" no but im gona start tkaing them tongiht" mom:" well actually im gona take them away form you cuz i dont want you taking them, because i think you dont need them, your not a depressed person" me:(pissed look) "well thats your opinion" mom:"yeah but its right too" ...BULLSHIT i never stop hearing form my mom that im a miserable person and that she thinks im alwasy depressed and now when i actually get help she thinks theres nothing wrong because after all im am the daughter of a "perfect" person. its bad enough having your parents complain that you dont smile enough but when they take it back by sayin "they know you better then you know youself" pisses me off. so what if im Mary fucking Poppins in school, i know tons of people that act happy when their not, and im no exception. i cant help being how i am and i wish i always wasnt o miserable but im realy starting to think that its not my fault, and that its just a "chemical imbalance". so FYI tomorow im gona be really pissed in school, or maybe i might be super happy..i dunno it all depends if i can find "them"..