Md 20/20 stay close to me
I didnt get picked up for work you know that means? That it must be legend apperciation day. So you know what you guys get?
AN UPDATE!!!!
(groan)
Rock N roll loves you baby. Anyway I was looking at my friends list and I noticed that for the most part the people on the list have only known me for the most two years. Then theres the people that havent even met me in person. You aint missing out. But Cept for 3 four exceptions most have any known me for roughly only 2 years. I feel a need to offer explaination for the depths of failure contained in this text.
It all started with a cat....
When I was six years old my folks had this cat named Banjo a true blue beast bastard, This cat was a godamn sick bitch.My parents felt the need to put the cat in room at night because they thought kitty and me were friends. Nothing could have been farther from the truth. Every night at around 2 -3 in the morning the cat would want to be fed and bite me in the face until I woke up and fed it. Why not just lock it out of your room you say? Well asshole whose telling the story here? No I couldnt lock it out of my room because on the rare oppertunites it couldnt push the door open the fucking thing would claw it. My childhood nights were spent sleepless waiting to hear the indpending sound of danger the beasts "meow" in the dark I would swing blindly hopping to punch the cat in the face.
I tried to explain to the rents that this cat was attacking me when I slept but that didnt stop them from putting it in my room at night.
"Oh thats how kitty plays"
"Shes just playing"
WELL FUCK KITTY AND FUCK YOU TO!!!
...
IN THE ASS!
Yeah...
Then one night it happend. I awoke and found the cat had bite right through my noose.
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST"
I started swearing and my parents came into my room and broke me up from beating the living shit out of the cat.
I get rushed to the Er and get held down so the doc can shove an electric needle in my noose to repair broken blood cells or someshit like that. As They held me down I screamed stuff like "I FUCKING HATE THAT CAT!!" The doctor was amazed at my age I could swear like that.
That was probably the first in many failures and you would probably be fucked up if it happened to you... But man adapts and as generations progress...things change..
Take for example my littlest brother Cory. He was at the same age as me when I was attacked by the cat and he was having animal problems of his own. When ever cory would grab a snack out of the fridge our dog would over power him and take the food. It got to where cory had to sprint for his life to get to the couch where he would stand on the top of the back part and throw little pieces far away as he could while eating as much as he could while the dog was at bay.
But Ole Cory bird (Not that our last name is Bird. Cory bird was just his nick name.) was a willie one after on such incident he had enough. The dog had him on the couch and was begging by the foot of the couch for cory to throw the food down. But Ole cory bird didnt throw the food down... Insted he pulled down his pants and peed on the dogs face. Pissed all over the fuckers face. ALL IN THE DOGS FACE YO!!!! I never seen that dog move that fast as it ran for the hills.
The cat may have gotten to me. But that day young Cory Bird scored a victory for man kind everywhere.
Well thats my story. The cat is still around running around chicago heres to hopping its get run over by an 18 wheeler.
Good night and sweet dreams.
AN UPDATE!!!!
(groan)
Rock N roll loves you baby. Anyway I was looking at my friends list and I noticed that for the most part the people on the list have only known me for the most two years. Then theres the people that havent even met me in person. You aint missing out. But Cept for 3 four exceptions most have any known me for roughly only 2 years. I feel a need to offer explaination for the depths of failure contained in this text.
It all started with a cat....
When I was six years old my folks had this cat named Banjo a true blue beast bastard, This cat was a godamn sick bitch.My parents felt the need to put the cat in room at night because they thought kitty and me were friends. Nothing could have been farther from the truth. Every night at around 2 -3 in the morning the cat would want to be fed and bite me in the face until I woke up and fed it. Why not just lock it out of your room you say? Well asshole whose telling the story here? No I couldnt lock it out of my room because on the rare oppertunites it couldnt push the door open the fucking thing would claw it. My childhood nights were spent sleepless waiting to hear the indpending sound of danger the beasts "meow" in the dark I would swing blindly hopping to punch the cat in the face.
I tried to explain to the rents that this cat was attacking me when I slept but that didnt stop them from putting it in my room at night.
"Oh thats how kitty plays"
"Shes just playing"
WELL FUCK KITTY AND FUCK YOU TO!!!
...
IN THE ASS!
Yeah...
Then one night it happend. I awoke and found the cat had bite right through my noose.
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST"
I started swearing and my parents came into my room and broke me up from beating the living shit out of the cat.
I get rushed to the Er and get held down so the doc can shove an electric needle in my noose to repair broken blood cells or someshit like that. As They held me down I screamed stuff like "I FUCKING HATE THAT CAT!!" The doctor was amazed at my age I could swear like that.
That was probably the first in many failures and you would probably be fucked up if it happened to you... But man adapts and as generations progress...things change..
Take for example my littlest brother Cory. He was at the same age as me when I was attacked by the cat and he was having animal problems of his own. When ever cory would grab a snack out of the fridge our dog would over power him and take the food. It got to where cory had to sprint for his life to get to the couch where he would stand on the top of the back part and throw little pieces far away as he could while eating as much as he could while the dog was at bay.
But Ole Cory bird (Not that our last name is Bird. Cory bird was just his nick name.) was a willie one after on such incident he had enough. The dog had him on the couch and was begging by the foot of the couch for cory to throw the food down. But Ole cory bird didnt throw the food down... Insted he pulled down his pants and peed on the dogs face. Pissed all over the fuckers face. ALL IN THE DOGS FACE YO!!!! I never seen that dog move that fast as it ran for the hills.
The cat may have gotten to me. But that day young Cory Bird scored a victory for man kind everywhere.
Well thats my story. The cat is still around running around chicago heres to hopping its get run over by an 18 wheeler.
Good night and sweet dreams.