Well, it's been a long time in coming. (Long rant ahead)
That's right all. I am now officially finished. I have had enough. I am tired of the crap.
This is addressed to all the females out there. And I can say this now, in all honesty, because I no longer give a shit about sparing your feelings or saying that “this is out to all the girls but the ones I care about” to protect myself. If the girls out ( Read more... )
This is addressed to all the females out there. And I can say this now, in all honesty, because I no longer give a shit about sparing your feelings or saying that “this is out to all the girls but the ones I care about” to protect myself. If the girls out ( Read more... )
It doesn't matter if you're fat or not because like me, there are women out there who see the beauty on the inside as being more precious and wonderful than the beauty on the outside. You see me and you will want to talk to me and I think that's so awesome. Please don't get mad at me because I do make mistakes that are stupid. I'm sorry. That's really all I can say but when I do say I'm sorry it comes from deep inside of me.
Will you still stick with me? I'll always stick with the people I love until they don't need me anymore and leave me behind.
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And continuing to hold on may sound all well and good, but no one can continue to give all they have for someone or to many people and expect not to get bitter. Like butter scraped over too much bread, I feel stretched out. I have nothing left to give. I have given all I have. Sorry you were the one too many that I could take. I'm going to give you a line I've heard so damn many times in the past: "I'm just not ready right now. Maybe in a while after I feel better about me and feel more comfortable, then I can."
And, also, like I said above, I hope you are happy with your guy. I no longer care if he hurts you because I have told you, many times that he will. You have been warned. And if you still leave yourself open to it, I will still offer sympathy to you when it happens, but I will know that you knew already. I hope it doesn't. I hope it works out. But I doubt it actually will.
And if you want to get really hurtful, in a "that's just the way life is" kind of sense, I can just repeat that exact same sentence back to you when you are hurt or you want something you can't have. It's easy to say that "I would if I could, but I can't" or "if I had only know earlier" because it's safe to say. You know that you are with someone now. And, even after it finishes, you will be in the "I just want some "me" time right now. I don't want to be in a relationship". But then, not long after-wards, you will be "I'm so happy. I met someone and he's so great!" Meanwhile, I'm feeling used, lied to, and generally taken advantage of.
It's such a girly thing to say that "it doesn't matter what you look like because women see the beauty on the inside". Bullshit! If that were true, no woman would ever go out or fuck an ass-hole. What's on the outside is all women see until they get older and want to settle down with the next available guy who they think won't fuck them over.
I'll stick with you, because I'm a masochist. *sarcastically* Because I just love to hear about how how much your guy hurts you and how much he makes you doubt yourself and how much you wish he would (insert something you think a guy who loves you should do). In reality, I do care about you. I did want something with you. I still care about you and want you to be happy. But I know now that you are just like the other girls out there who want someone exciting and dangerous and "bad". Someone you can "fix". Not someone who cares for you and would spend their time making you feel loved and beautiful. Not just telling you, but showing you. So, I will listen to you when you are happy and be glad that you are. I will listen to you when you are sad and wonder why you don't see what I see. I will wait for your heartbreak to happen so that I can try to help pick up the pieces. Just to watch you go and do it all again with someone else.
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And not only women are shallow. Men are too.
You see me as being like all the others but I'm not and I can only show you.
I know you're hurting. I know you want to not care anymore. I know exactly how you feel but I didn't let myself become mean and like the others. Don't let yourself fall into that trap.
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I have no idea if I'm exciting or not. But I was talking about being exciting in a bad way. As in trying to get you to do things you wouldn't normally do but you do for him because you "love him".
How wrong I am?! Are you fucking serious? Do you really believe that? Honestly? I mean, if you do, you have done an excellent job of convincing yourself of it. Tell me the truth, did you like how your current guy thinks when you first met him, or how he looks/fucks? Girls look at a guy and they know within the next 5 minutes or less if they are ever going to go to bed with him. They don't care if he "has a good heart" or if "he just wants to get inside me". They don't care. They see someone who they want inside them, someone who makes them wet and that's the guy they go for. The guy they want. Every woman is like that until they either get an STD/kid from one of these guys (sometimes, not even then) or they stop wanting that kind of guy. You want someone reliable and sweet?! Bullshit. What did you say to me the other night? What were your words to me? That you wished he would be reliable and sweet. That he would treat you like you wanted to be treated. And yet, today, you are still with him. So in the future, don't try to bullshit yourself. Wake up.
You may think you don't want to fix anyone, but you do. If you don't think so, why are you with someone who's career isn't on track? Someone who is the age he is at? Someone who has the family he has? Let me ask you, what kind of a future do you think you will have with him? Get married? Have kids of your own that are about a decade or more younger than his kids? Your kids be grown when their dad is as old as their friends grandparents? But, you seem to think he is a "match", as you said. If he is, more power to you.
Yes. Men are also shallow. Much more so than women. But don't go thinking that men have cornered the marked on it. Women are following closely behind. Especially nowadays. If you don't think so, read two paragraphs up.
I don't care if you share your sorrow with me or not. It doesn't "irk" me. I didn't say that. I said that I will listen to what you have to say, and lend you my shoulder to cry on. But I will know. I will know that you have been warned and that you know all that will happen as I have told you. Tell me all you want. I will still be there for you.
You don't get it. It isn't a trap. It's not. Look at your friends. Yes, they may be mean and cold-hearted. But, when guys do that, girls want them more because they become un-attainable and attractive. They want to do all the things for them that they wouldn't do on their own because girls want freedom of responsibility for their own actions. They want to feel like they are not the ones who want to do what they are doing, that they guy "seduced" them into it. That the guy was as fault so that they don't feel like whores or thieves later. It was the guys fault because everyone knows guys are just like that. The trap has been letting myself get walked all over for years because I was under the impression that girls actually wanted someone who cared for them. You don't. If you did, really did, the ass-hole, pricks of America wouldn't be getting laid as often as they are. There wouldn't have to be so many adoptions or abortions. Only ass-hole guys are to blame. Right. That's all it is. Keep telling yourself that. Don't let yourself believe that it's not also the girls who spread their legs for them that are also to blame as well.
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Yes, he has his problems and I have mine but hell if I'm going to let them spoil how we feel about each other. I didn't say it was only the guys who were to blame for adoption/abortions. It's both people involved. I don't want assholey guys.
He's in school. But he is about to get his degree. He's older than what people thing a girl my age should be with but look at the guys my age. They're all bastards and I won't waste my time on one. What about his family? He has a mother and a father who love him. He's lucky. He's adopted. So what? He still has a brother who is closer to him than most blood brothers are. I don't really care if my kids grow up with a father who is old. So what? At least he will love them and not beat them for not being perfect. My children will be perfect even in their imperfection. I have friends who have parents who are in their fifties. It's no big deal. He doesn't have kids either.
You're seeming to accuse me of being shallow. I'm not. I see the beauty in the eyes of the person and their beauty inside is brighter than the Sun.
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