eh...
Well it’s been a while since I’ve written in here.
I really don’t write all that much anymore. The last really big thing I have written is that letter to Rob.. I guess I can tell you about that... Well a few weeks ago I sent him a request on myspace as a friend… He accepted… I was so eh… I dunno shocked that he accepted I thought he wouldn’t… I guess… I kind of wish he didn’t… but he did. I sent him a comment… bcuz he posted something on myspace and it was about comments. And I sent him one...
“So I'm not gonna lie... I am a lil leery about leaving you a comment... okay not a lil a lot leery about leaving you a comment... But I am going to. Just to say hey and I hope all is well with you... Have a good day...
Jeremy”
That’s the comment. He sent me a message why are you leery of me? I sent him one back bcuz it’s been like so long since I’ve talked to you. He gave me his number... He wants me to call him… I’m not going to though. I can’t. I really honest to GOD want to so bad just so I can hear his voice... But you know what? I can’t. I’m dating the guy I love with all of my heart… Not gonna happen. So I wrote him this letter… It’s like a million pages to write… but I did it. I actually sent it out... I felt a lot better after I wrote it too. I felt a sense of relief. Actually a very big sense of relief. There are those times that I wish I could talk to him… There are times I wanna call him… but I can’t. I look at his profile from time to time... Just to see if I’m off of his top 8 or anything… and I’m pretty much there... I think that is just bcuz he is at the end of my top 12, but it only goes in order of how I talk to people... If I talk to you all of the time… then you are on the top 8 if not… yeah… Speaking of which… I need to redo that sometime soon… I have to put people at the end of it lol. Anywho that is off topic. But yeah… I am still on it... I was honestly shocked the he put me on it. You know I didn’t even think of it. I just looked at his profile.. And bam I seen my face on his top 8... And I called April and told her she’s like wow... That is crazy. I totally agree that it is crazy… I didn’t want to be on his top 8, but it showed me that he still kind of cares I guess. He said he missed me… but my friend Ryan put it in perspective for me: He’s my “ex” for a reason right? Exactly… that is what I said. So I’m kind of over it.
Jon and I have been doing so well. I think we have been doing better from what we were. We both have to make sacrifices and adjustments for each other. I can change some things… but other things I can’t. They are just a part of me. The same goes for him. I don’t want him to change for me... I guess if he does… he does… I will love him no matter what. Jon is seriously the reason I am alive today… he makes me feel so special. He buys me things... Even when he really don’t have the money he will try his best.
I’m like super annoyed today. Just one of those day where I’m not in the mood for sarcasm or smart ass people. I woke up super annoyed. To the point where I don’t give a flying fuck about anything right now. I could die and not care. Someone could get hurt… and I would just sit around like whatev’s. God I just wanna scream.
I really don’t write all that much anymore. The last really big thing I have written is that letter to Rob.. I guess I can tell you about that... Well a few weeks ago I sent him a request on myspace as a friend… He accepted… I was so eh… I dunno shocked that he accepted I thought he wouldn’t… I guess… I kind of wish he didn’t… but he did. I sent him a comment… bcuz he posted something on myspace and it was about comments. And I sent him one...
“So I'm not gonna lie... I am a lil leery about leaving you a comment... okay not a lil a lot leery about leaving you a comment... But I am going to. Just to say hey and I hope all is well with you... Have a good day...
Jeremy”
That’s the comment. He sent me a message why are you leery of me? I sent him one back bcuz it’s been like so long since I’ve talked to you. He gave me his number... He wants me to call him… I’m not going to though. I can’t. I really honest to GOD want to so bad just so I can hear his voice... But you know what? I can’t. I’m dating the guy I love with all of my heart… Not gonna happen. So I wrote him this letter… It’s like a million pages to write… but I did it. I actually sent it out... I felt a lot better after I wrote it too. I felt a sense of relief. Actually a very big sense of relief. There are those times that I wish I could talk to him… There are times I wanna call him… but I can’t. I look at his profile from time to time... Just to see if I’m off of his top 8 or anything… and I’m pretty much there... I think that is just bcuz he is at the end of my top 12, but it only goes in order of how I talk to people... If I talk to you all of the time… then you are on the top 8 if not… yeah… Speaking of which… I need to redo that sometime soon… I have to put people at the end of it lol. Anywho that is off topic. But yeah… I am still on it... I was honestly shocked the he put me on it. You know I didn’t even think of it. I just looked at his profile.. And bam I seen my face on his top 8... And I called April and told her she’s like wow... That is crazy. I totally agree that it is crazy… I didn’t want to be on his top 8, but it showed me that he still kind of cares I guess. He said he missed me… but my friend Ryan put it in perspective for me: He’s my “ex” for a reason right? Exactly… that is what I said. So I’m kind of over it.
Jon and I have been doing so well. I think we have been doing better from what we were. We both have to make sacrifices and adjustments for each other. I can change some things… but other things I can’t. They are just a part of me. The same goes for him. I don’t want him to change for me... I guess if he does… he does… I will love him no matter what. Jon is seriously the reason I am alive today… he makes me feel so special. He buys me things... Even when he really don’t have the money he will try his best.
I’m like super annoyed today. Just one of those day where I’m not in the mood for sarcasm or smart ass people. I woke up super annoyed. To the point where I don’t give a flying fuck about anything right now. I could die and not care. Someone could get hurt… and I would just sit around like whatev’s. God I just wanna scream.