why i hate halloween. and love life.
i think this makes me a bad gay, but i secretly do not care for halloween. i mean, i liked it when i was a kid and was on the receiving end of the candy...but now, i have no use for it.
for one, the economics of it are ridiculous - buy stuff for little kids in costumes and get nothing in return. oh, except for the joy of seeing their faces light up when they get the treat. bullshit.
also, it makes it tough to enjoy watching strangers walk off with the treats. if i knew kids in the neighborhood, or had family or friends with kids who would come to the door, that'd be another story -- it would be fun to bring joy to the kids i know. and it'd be fun for me to see them dressed up. but when the kids are strangers, i get annoyed that they ring the doorbell.
the lights are off, and the doorbell has rang no less than 5 times tonight. this annoys me because the lights are off. its not a ploy to scare them with some shock of a costume when i open the door, because i will not wear a costume or open the door. but i am also annoyed that the lights must be off. why go to strangers for candy? i shouldn't have to shut the lights off to keep strangers away from the door.
i'm also reminded of a david sedaris piece he wrote about feeling super-self-conscious around children, as a result of the pathetic stereotype that gay men are child mollesters. obviously i am not [a child mollester], but i have certainly felt that all-eyes-watching sensation when children are around, as if i might do something sick and inappropriate to a kid. so although i've really outgrown that, i think i do have that underlying fear that somehow, a strange little kid at the door may lead to some horriffic scenario when said kid's dad or mom sees my gay living room or gay kitchen or gay partner and makes some wildly inappropriate accusation.
ehh, halloween. who needs it?
last weekend was logan's birthday party. it was phenomenal and so much fun. we got her a sandbox and some zoe slippers, and i threw in the velveteen rabbit (w/ audio cd) so that maybe she'll learn to love one of my favorite books of all time. i had the big version, but this little one with a cd will be good for her.
other than that, last week was rough for us. moving here was the best thing i could have ever done for us, but it sure hasn't made things flawless. nothing ever will. but the distance made things so hard -- and love shouldn't be hard. removing distance from the equation made it easy. and though it still needs nurtured, the work of managing it (the weekends, the travel, the logistics, the scheduling) is long-gone.
i scored the new biz with international yesterday - so that was great. it is a phenomenal achievement for me and for the company, albeit a small achievement with a small budget...but it is what i set out to do when i moved here, so it is a small step in a very important direction...developing business in chicagoland.
i'm also working on landing a huge new account on the west coast - if we get it, i can spearhead it as well and hopefully make an impact on some bigger work. i have the tendency to pick up the small stuff no one wants or can handle, and i make it efficient and profitable and easy...which has been a great reputation, but i have had few opportunities to prove myself on the large scale. where i have had the opportunities, i've seized them and done the exact same thing. but routinely, i've handled a lot of smaller stuff.
we're hosting thanksgiving for his family at our house...and with only a few weeks left to get ready, we must start. lol this weekend will be important for the deep cleaning and heavy labor - painting, carpets, plants/landscaping....after that, we just have to keep it clean and focus on the smaller tasks...meal planning, groceries, logistics...
this is going to be an exciting holiday season. i can't remember a time in recent history that i felt so eager to embrace it all. i've got some vacation time worked into it, plenty of family time and fun stuff to do with work...and sadly, i'm already looking past it for the next big thing to occupy my attention.
do i have a late-onset case of ADD?
for one, the economics of it are ridiculous - buy stuff for little kids in costumes and get nothing in return. oh, except for the joy of seeing their faces light up when they get the treat. bullshit.
also, it makes it tough to enjoy watching strangers walk off with the treats. if i knew kids in the neighborhood, or had family or friends with kids who would come to the door, that'd be another story -- it would be fun to bring joy to the kids i know. and it'd be fun for me to see them dressed up. but when the kids are strangers, i get annoyed that they ring the doorbell.
the lights are off, and the doorbell has rang no less than 5 times tonight. this annoys me because the lights are off. its not a ploy to scare them with some shock of a costume when i open the door, because i will not wear a costume or open the door. but i am also annoyed that the lights must be off. why go to strangers for candy? i shouldn't have to shut the lights off to keep strangers away from the door.
i'm also reminded of a david sedaris piece he wrote about feeling super-self-conscious around children, as a result of the pathetic stereotype that gay men are child mollesters. obviously i am not [a child mollester], but i have certainly felt that all-eyes-watching sensation when children are around, as if i might do something sick and inappropriate to a kid. so although i've really outgrown that, i think i do have that underlying fear that somehow, a strange little kid at the door may lead to some horriffic scenario when said kid's dad or mom sees my gay living room or gay kitchen or gay partner and makes some wildly inappropriate accusation.
ehh, halloween. who needs it?
last weekend was logan's birthday party. it was phenomenal and so much fun. we got her a sandbox and some zoe slippers, and i threw in the velveteen rabbit (w/ audio cd) so that maybe she'll learn to love one of my favorite books of all time. i had the big version, but this little one with a cd will be good for her.
other than that, last week was rough for us. moving here was the best thing i could have ever done for us, but it sure hasn't made things flawless. nothing ever will. but the distance made things so hard -- and love shouldn't be hard. removing distance from the equation made it easy. and though it still needs nurtured, the work of managing it (the weekends, the travel, the logistics, the scheduling) is long-gone.
i scored the new biz with international yesterday - so that was great. it is a phenomenal achievement for me and for the company, albeit a small achievement with a small budget...but it is what i set out to do when i moved here, so it is a small step in a very important direction...developing business in chicagoland.
i'm also working on landing a huge new account on the west coast - if we get it, i can spearhead it as well and hopefully make an impact on some bigger work. i have the tendency to pick up the small stuff no one wants or can handle, and i make it efficient and profitable and easy...which has been a great reputation, but i have had few opportunities to prove myself on the large scale. where i have had the opportunities, i've seized them and done the exact same thing. but routinely, i've handled a lot of smaller stuff.
we're hosting thanksgiving for his family at our house...and with only a few weeks left to get ready, we must start. lol this weekend will be important for the deep cleaning and heavy labor - painting, carpets, plants/landscaping....after that, we just have to keep it clean and focus on the smaller tasks...meal planning, groceries, logistics...
this is going to be an exciting holiday season. i can't remember a time in recent history that i felt so eager to embrace it all. i've got some vacation time worked into it, plenty of family time and fun stuff to do with work...and sadly, i'm already looking past it for the next big thing to occupy my attention.
do i have a late-onset case of ADD?