uncharted
uncharted
chanyeol/baekhyun, gen 92 line (chanyeol/baekhyun/jongdae/kyungsoo), pg-13, general
how to fall out of love with your best friend... sorta.
dear idolkiller, i tried u___u bazillion thanks to potaoto, my personal superhero as usual ♥
In retrospect, perhaps it was the way Baekhyun put it that had started all this.
Baekhyun had watched as Chanyeol kissed him at the Han River during their little celebration for their first six months together - and Chanyeol had noticed how Baekhyun hadn’t kissed back, then - and stared out at the fountain jets from Banpo Bridge, then turned to Chanyeol after several long minutes of feeling the light spray on their faces.
“I think we should break up.” Baekhyun had said then, refusing to meet Chanyeol’s eyes. Chanyeol had stared at him, perplexed, then laughed.
“Eyyy,” Chanyeol had said, hooking his arm around Baekhyun’s neck to pull him in, snug under his armpit. “Funny joke.” His laughter had been sincere, because who breaks up with your boyfriend on your six month anniversary, right? He had been so sure Baekhyun was joking.
Baekhyun hadn’t moved out of Chanyeol’s headlock, though he’d stiffened and he hadn’t smiled, hadn’t crumpled up at the contact on the back of his neck like he always used to, and looked at Chanyeol seriously. “I don’t see the point.”
Chanyeol had been baffled, lost for words. What did that even mean? Boyfriends weren’t supposed to say that to each other. They were supposed to be full of shits and giggles and kisses and sex.
Baekhyun had stared at him for a long time, then snorted and looked back out at the Han River. “We’re not in love with each other, Chanyeol,” he’d said, removing Chanyeol’s arm from his neck and sidling away a fraction so they were no longer touching.
“What are you talking about?” Chanyeol’s answer had been instinctive - he’d blurted it like it was natural to do, an equal reaction to Baekhyun’s break up request. “We love each other.”
Baekhyun had smiled a little, then, almost the sort of smile he used to give Chanyeol. “We’re not in love, Chanyeol. I love you, but it’s the same kind of thing I have for Kyungsoo, or Jongin, whoever. We’re just - I think we’d be a lot better as friends. Best friends, even.”
Chanyeol had been so offended that he’d been rendered speechless. Was this what Baekhyun had meant when he’d kissed Chanyeol so long ago, that first kiss in their bedroom, when Baekhyun had yanked his pants down and sucked his dick, his fingernails pulling tracks in Chanyeol’s ass, when Baekhyun had carded his fingers in Chanyeol’s hair and scooted over in bed to let Chanyeol bury his face in his shoulder when Chanyeol was missing home? Had Baekhyun not felt the same sort of electricity in his veins when he’d kissed Chanyeol, like Chanyeol had? Did he do these things to Kyungsoo, too?
“I’m in love with you,” he’d said incredulously, finding the first words that came to his mind, throwing Baekhyun’s words back into his face. It was a little too loud for the night. Several people looked over and Chanyeol thanked the night for shadowing their faces.
Baekhyun had looked at him long and hard, like daring Chanyeol to say that on his conscience, and Chanyeol balled his hands into fists, teeth clenched. He was so angry at Baekhyun for doing this to him on their six-month anniversary, offended and stinging because Baekhyun had just been stringing him along all this while, that he’d snapped.
“Fine,” Chanyeol had said, spitting the words out like a jilted lover, even though he hadn’t liked how he’d sounded at all, “fine.”
And then he’d walked away first before Baekhyun could so he would be the one leaving Baekhyun instead, and went straight back to the dorms to move his entire mattress, sheets, blankets, and all, to dump them on the floor in Jongin’s and Kyungsoo’s room. He’d been furious, then, and had sworn to never be in the same room as Baekhyun.
He still was, to be honest. Indignant at being the one to get jilted and resentful at having his status as someone’s special someone snatched away from him. He didn’t understand anything - they’d been getting along fine; Baekhyun had even given him a handjob in the toilets earlier that week, but he’d just had to go ruin everything. He wanted an explanation, but like hell he was going to ask Baekhyun about it. He didn’t want to see Baekhyun around and be reminded of all the things Baekhyun hadn’t meant when they’d been together.
Schedules were difficult. Backstage Chanyeol busied himself with his phone and Kyungsoo, Sehun’s neck until Sehun snapped at him and moved away. He hated how he kept catching himself following Baekhyun around the room out of the corner of his eye, and had to make up for it by reminding himself about the way Baekhyun had broken his heart until he felt suitably betrayed. Seunghwan-hyung told him to stop scowling, they were going on in ten minutes. Kyungsoo patted his knee.
“You should talk to Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo said, looking like he was trying to put this as nicely as he could. “You guys are best friends.”
“No,” Chanyeol said and returned his attention to his phone. They weren’t friends - Baekhyun didn’t deserve that, not after he’d ripped Chanyeol’s heart out and stomped on it. Chanyeol didn’t want to give Baekhyun a chance, especially not when Baekhyun didn’t seem to be too bothered by their break-up and continued on just as cheerily. Chanyeol didn’t like being shortchanged; he deserved a lot more Baekhyun didn’t deliver, so he didn’t see why he should give Baekhyun the privilege of his civility.
Baekhyun didn’t seem too bothered by it, anyway, and kept up a tight but believable amiability with Chanyeol onstage. Chanyeol tried pretending when he could, like it didn’t bother him and make him want to punch Baekhyun where people could see. His attempts weren’t very successful, a lot of the time, and he got madder at Baekhyun when Youngmin-hyung gave him shit about having an attitude on variety guestings. This probably wasn’t great for their team’s dynamics in the long run, but Chanyeol couldn’t just pretend like nothing had happened - he didn’t care if he was being selfish or childish; he was getting over a breakup, he told himself. He could be as selfish and childish as he wanted to, even if his new ex was in the same group - lived in the same house (room) as he did.
“Chanyeol.” Junmyeon sat him down for a talk after a particularly bad interview where he’d had to sit next to Baekhyun. Junmyeon looked at him for a while, then his eyes softened, like he felt bad for Chanyeol, which Chanyeol took a bit of pleasure in - like he needed validation for being selfish and childish. “You know what I need to talk to you about.”
Chanyeol clammed up and folded his legs on his mattress, pulling his blankets around him like a fort. “I can’t,” he told Junmyeon, careful not to use I don’t want to. “Baekhyun is an asshole.”
Junmyeon sighed a little from Kyungsoo’s bed, looking down at Chanyeol. “Sleeping in Kyungsoo and Jongin’s room isn’t a long-term solution. You’re gonna have to move back into your room sometime.”
Resentment boiled up in Chanyeol, the same resentment that had set his heart and ears on fire when he realised Baekhyun was less affected by the breakup than he was. “Why don’t you ask Baekhyun to move out, instead,” he grumbled. He didn’t care if he was missing Junmyeon’s point.
Junmyeon pursed his lips and sighed again, but Junmyeon had patience by the bucket and Chanyeol knew he could test Junmyeon a lot further. Besides, Baekhyun was the wrongdoer; Chanyeol didn’t have anything to do with this. Baekhyun was the one who’d decided to stomp all over their relationship and group dynamics.
“Sehun said he’ll switch with you,” Junmyeon said, ushering Chanyeol into his room with a calming hand on his shoulder. Sehun took one look at his angry pout and rolled his eyes, then went back to gathering his blankets to move, so Chanyeol threw a pillow at Sehun and pulled Junmyeon’s sheets up to his neck, turning his back on Sehun and the door and tried to sleep. The last thought that tripped past his mind before he fell asleep was a sincere hope that Baekhyun caught pneumonia from Sehun’s leaving the door open at night, even though it was summer.
----
Baekhyun didn’t catch pneumonia.
And friends made his life a lot more difficult, Chanyeol realised the next morning. Or perhaps it was just Jongdae, whom Chanyeol didn’t consider as a friend at all.
jongdae why are you being a dick
Chanyeol swore to draw blood. WHO SAID THAT
jongdae sehun
jongdae well sehun said you were being a big baby, and i translated that
chanyeol fuck u
jongdae no thanks, you’re not my type
jongdae lol but really, you can’t be mad at him forever
chanyeol hahaha ur so funny
jongdae you do realise you’re in the same group as he is, right
Chanyeol knew, but so what? He wasn’t going to concede shit if Baekhyun wasn’t going to give him the grovelling apology he deserved. He didn’t have to be a mature adult about this if Baekhyun wasn’t going to, so he stopped replying Jongdae and went about the same way, ignoring Baekhyun when he could and minimizing interaction as far as possible when he couldn’t. Junmyeon tried talking him out of this, but Chanyeol was still stinging, still heartbroken from the Breakup. Junmyeon gave up and told him to try and hold it in till their week’s break, at least, and he could take the week off to calm down.
Which would have been fine, except for the part where Jongdae ruined all the things.
jongdae you do realise you are coming with us on that summer trip we planned a month ago for the week off, right
Chanyeol had forgotten - they’d been so excited at the prospect of a holiday, a month ago, that Baekhyun and Chanyeol had gone and convinced Kyungsoo and Jongdae to book a quiet little resort unit at Haeundae to get away and feel the sun, sand and sea. It’d be the shit, a chingu line club, Baekhyun had said.
Well, fuck the club. Chanyeol didn’t want to be anywhere near Baekhyun for the break, especially not when he was supposed to be enjoying the sand and sea. He’d take bumming around in the dorms alone over having to be around Baekhyun, even though he did miss the beach a lot. Then he decided that Baekhyun should be the one to sit this out - why did Chanyeol have to be the one to miss out on this trip?
chanyeol make baekhyun leave and i’ll go
jongdae grow up, man
chanyeol fuck you, i’m not going
jongdae lol if you don’t go baek is going to win this, do you want that
And he was, Chanyeol realised angrily. Chanyeol knew Jongdae was just saying that to incite him, poke at his competitiveness, and he was almost sure Baekhyun wasn’t even playing in this game at all, but he wasn’t going to look like a loser.
“I’ll go,” Chanyeol said the moment Jongdae picked up, “but I’m not going to talk to him.”
“Wimp,” Jongdae laughed, and hung up. Chanyeol threw his phone at his pillow and hoped Baekhyun contracted heatstroke from his blasting of the heater in their room.
---
On the day of the trip Chanyeol turned up downstairs separate from Baekhyun, slightly later than the rest as he'd waited for the front door to close behind Baekhyun before he came out of Junmyeon's room because he didn't want to have to be in the same choking elevator space with Baekhyun. This was a bad decision, because when he emerged from the elevator Jongdae, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun were laughing about something that he didn't know about and he felt himself pinching his mouth in a pang of jealousy before he could stop himself. Jongdae and Kyungsoo were his friends first, not Baekhyun's, and he'd have liked for a bit more loyalty on their part. But he didn't bring it up, not when Kyungsoo caught him coming out of the elevator and smiled warmly and Jongdae hooked his elbow through his arm to march Chanyeol into the waiting taxi. He supposed he could ignore Baekhyun's small smile that was a poor attempt at what he used to get.
The cab ride to the train station was okay because Jongdae and Baekyun talked enough for twenty people, and if Chanyeol mushed his ear into Kyungsoo's shoulder hard enough he was just about able to block Baekhyun's voice out. Kyungsoo looked at him out of the corner of his eye and Chanyeol was fairly sure he snorted, but didn't move. Chanyeol pursed his lips and pretended to be asleep for the rest of the trip, even though Baekhyun started rapping Beenzino and he kept fighting the urge to cut over Baekhyun and show him real rapping. He had to bite on the inside of his lip for a good part of Baekhyun's nasty rendition, because if he did, it would be like the old times, and Chanyeol wasn’t going to look clingy and nostalgic like a right old loser.
The train ride down to Haeundae was a lot worse; Kyungsoo got a call from his mother and went off to the end of the carriage to speak and Jongdae fell asleep because he’d been up chattering Minseok’s ear off last night about the vacation, so Chanyeol was stuck with Baekhyun.
“Haeundae is going to be so pretty,” Baekhyun said when Jongdae started drooling onto the table, his sentence clearly directed at Chanyeol, which made him bristle a little at the way Baekhyun was acting like nothing had happened.
He nodded before the silence got rude. “Yeah.” It hit him, then, a memory of when they’d still been together and they’d talked about plans for this vacation - Baekhyun had mentioned Haeundae’s beautiful beaches and the promise of sex on the beach. Chanyeol had to fight to keep his face neutral, to stop it from betraying his disappointment; Baekhyun showed no signs of remembering this, no signs of nostalgia at the very least.
“It’s going to be great, I heard we can snorkel there now!” Baekhyun’s smile was too genial, too platonic, too simple. Chanyeol hated it.
“Yeah,” he supplied, even though this was growing awkward and it was mostly his fault; Chanyeol hated awkwardness, and he felt a new rush of annoyance at Baekhyun for making him this way.
Baekhyun gave him a smaller smile, tighter this time, more strained - he obviously could see Chanyeol wasn’t up for a casual chat.
“Are you tired?” Baekhyun tried, his eyes holding a lot that Chanyeol did not feel up for parsing, which made Chanyeol even more pissed. Who was Baekhyun to still demand to be a friend? He nodded and avoided Baekhyun’s eyes, jamming his earphones into his ears to sink onto Jongdae, fervently hoping Baekhyun got all the shade he was trying to throw. Baekhyun shut up, after that, but didn’t seem too bothered, and struck up a lively conversation with Kyungsoo when he returned that got Chanyeol in an even worse mood. Jongdae kept shooting him glances, when they finally got off the train to head to the resort, threateningly, like warning a dog to stay quiet. Chanyeol stomped as hard as he could on Jongdae’s foot and then bared his teeth, because if Jongdae wanted a dog he would get one. Chanyeol was happy to deliver.
His mood brightened a little when they dumped their stuff in the pretty resort unit and ran outside so they could feel the sea breeze on their cheeks, inhaling deep lungfuls of salty, refreshing Haeundae. Chanyeol was easy - it didn’t take much for him to smile, and the vividness of the blue before him was good persuasion to make him reconsider the grumpiness he’d come here with. It would be dumb and a waste of this vacation to not enjoy Haeundae just because of Baekhyun, and he didn't like awkwardness at all, regardless of how reluctant he was to talk to Baekhyun. It didn’t mean he was about to call Baekhyun his best friend again, though - he’d forgiven Jongin for breaking his drumstick after a particularly hysterical Chelsea Vs Man United football match last week, but he hadn’t forgotten, and Baekhyun had broken his heart.
“The beach, first?” Baekhyun asked, but Jongdae was already halfway into his swimming trunks.
“Can you do that in private, please,” Kyungsoo gave Jongdae a mild withering look and turned away to head to the toilet. Jongdae looked like a hurt puppy for a second, except Kyungsoo wasn’t looking anymore, so his face twitched in annoyance.
“It’s not like you have anything to flaunt, anyway,” Baekhyun remarked offhandedly as he rummaged in his luggage and Chanyeol laughed, a sincere one filling the room, for the first time that week before he could stop himself. He couldn’t deny that it felt good, laughing around his friends and Baekhyun, even, but he hastily ironed his features into nonchalance and turned to dig into his bag before Baekhyun could notice.
Chanyeol had almost felt Jongdae rolling his eyes behind his back in the resort unit, so when they reached the beach and Baekhyun cartwheeled to land in a heap at the foot of the beach, ankle deep in water, Chanyeol caught Jongdae unawares to yank him by the waist into the sea, dunking his head under the water so Jongdae flailed his limbs around and socked Chanyeol in the balls.
“OW, Jesus,” Chanyeol let go of Jongdae as his knees gave so he was kneeling waist-deep in the water, cradling his balls that were throbbing in the least sexy way possible, and Jongdae stood up to spray a combination of seawater, saliva and his lunch at Chanyeol’s face.
“Serves you right,” Jongdae said as he stomped out of the water to head towards Kyungsoo, holding his arms out for a hug. Jongdae chased Kyungsoo in several figure eights before wrestling him into the sea anyway, and by then Chanyeol was laughing so hard he was hyperventilating, leaning against the nearest person - Baekhyun - for support. Baekhyun was in hysterics, too, propping both of them up with his shaking arm pitched in the sand as they watched Kyungsoo push Jongdae backwards into the water and fix him with a death glare, the effect rather undermined with water dripping into Kyungsoo’s eyes.
It wasn’t until they were all catching their breath from laughing that Chanyeol realised how intensely he had been leaning on Baekhyun and how, more importantly, his anger came only as an afterthought, after he’d felt the laughter fill him up inside, like the familiarity, the easy camaraderie was a second nature so ingrained that it swallowed everything. It made him angry at himself, almost - he didn’t want to cave so quickly. He didn’t want to be a pushover, not in front of Baekhyun.
It bothered him so much that he was almost hesitant to follow when Baekhyun tapped him quietly on the shoulder and asked to talk before dinner, almost doubting his decisions to stay mad at Baekhyun, like he should feel bad for not letting Baekhyun have another chance to hurt him. He left the pit right outside their resort unit to head inside with Baekhyun with a bit of confusion and much reluctance, as Jongdae yelled instructions for the barbeque pit and Kyungsoo ignored them, still trying to start a fire with utmost concentration. Baekhyun had his lips tucked against each other, pressing them together so they were white. It was the look Baekhyun made when he was trying to find a way to let it drop as lightly as he could. Chanyeol remembered it from that night at the Han River.
Baekhyun took a deep breath, then - “I guess I owe you an apology. I’m sorry?” Baekhyun looked down, the corner of his mouth pushed in, then looked back up at Chanyeol in the eye. “For.... asking to break up on our six-month anniversary. That was kind of a jerk thing to do, but I thought about it for a long time, and it just. Seemed like the right time to say it.”
Chanyeol was stumped for words. His chest felt fuller - was that validation he felt, for the way he’d been since the Breakup? Baekhyun was a jerk, he’d said so himself. Perhaps it wasn’t the whole apology he’d wanted - for Baekhyun to apologise for stomping all over his heart, for deciding what they were to be on his own, to grovel on his knees so Chanyeol could brush him off, but as Kyungsoo had said when Chanyeol expressed this desire, life wasn’t a KBS drama - but it made Chanyeol feel a little better, a little less indignant. He deserved this apology.
“It’s okay,” Chanyeol managed like it hadn’t bothered him, though he probably wasn’t fooling anyone.
“I really still want to be friends,” Baekhyun pressed on, thumbing the hem of his shirt. Chanyeol suddenly remembered how the hem of the sponsored top he’d worn for their debut had been grubby and grey from his nervousness, how he had pulled Baekhyun in with the crook of his elbow pressed to his neck and with a small squeeze of the back of Baekhyun’s neck to tickle him when he let go. “If, you know. You’re okay with that.”
It hit Chanyeol then, that he was important to Baekhyun - that Baekhyun still needed him; wanted him, and he felt some of the anger in him dissolve. Perhaps he didn’t like how Baekhyun hadn’t seemed to like him enough to stay boyfriends with him, but Baekhyun liked him enough, wanted him enough. It didn’t make everything fine and dandy; his heart was still crushed, but this was a concession on Baekhyun’s part, and he owed Baekhyun a chance, at least.
“I can be a mature adult,” he mumbled, catching Baekhyun’s eye after a while. “I am a mature adult.”
Baekhyun’s smile was blinding when it came, a flash of white Chanyeol had missed. “Yeah?” Baekhyun said and hooked his arm around Chanyeol’s neck, tiptoeing a little so he could reach.
“Go away, shortie,” Chanyeol jerked himself out of Baekhyun’s grip, but he was having trouble trying to keep his smile in at Baekhyun’s grin. He’d missed this; Baekhyun’s easy smile, his own easy smile around Baekhyun, and when they made it out of the unit to reach Kyungsoo and Jongdae still arguing about the fire, his anger felt a little doused, like some of the fuel that kept it going had been taken away.
“Where were you guys, jeez,” Jongdae wrestled the matches away from Kyungsoo and bumped him away to stand in front of the pit, “help me tie Kyungsoo up and throw him in the ocean.”
“You’ll have to order delivery,” Kyungsoo glanced at him and snorted. “You can’t even start a fire.”
“God damn,” Baekhyun said, going over to peer into the very still pit. “You guys haven’t even started the fire?”
“He wouldn’t listen to me,” Kyungsoo glared at Jongdae. “And the wind is really strong.”
“Were you guys shirking BBQ duties,” Jongdae asked accusingly. Chanyeol rolled his eyes and barged in between Kyungsoo and Jongdae to grab the matches from Jongdae because it was so easy to piss Jongdae off, so much easier than to decide if he still wanted to be mad at Baekhyun.
“Move,” Chanyeol lighted a match and held it to the coal, cupping his hand around the flame. “I’m the fire boy.”
It turned out that only the joint effort of all four of them was capable of starting a fire with Chanyeol and Jongdae blocking the wind and Baekhyun’s anxious instructions, but they had a fire going in the pit soon enough. Jongdae offered to grill the meat while the rest of them washed the vegetables and cooked the rice, before Chanyeol realised that he was eating all the samgyupsal fresh off the grill.
“You sneaky shit,” Chanyeol yelled and wrenched the tongs out of Jongdae’s hands, but Kyungsoo grabbed them almost immediately after.
“Neither of you are grilling,” he said, and no one could dispute Kyungsoo when he had one of his no-nonsense faces on, so they all crowded round the pit as Kyungsoo grilled and made lettuce wraps for each other and blew garlic breath in each other’s faces. Chanyeol made sure to chew thoroughly on some gochu and onion before he blasted them all in turn in the face with his hand held on the base of their heads so no one could escape.
“CHRIST,” Jongdae yelled and spat a bit in Chanyeol’s face as he took Chanyeol’s unadulterated fire breath in the face first, “what the fuck, what even did you eat, oh my god -”
Baekhyun screamed bloody murder during his turn and planted his fist in Chanyeol’s chest and Kyungsoo pushed him away, but this was too easy - Chanyeol snuck in an extra puff at Kyungsoo’s face before grinning at all of them fit to burst.
“You win, god,” Baekhyun scrubbed at his face with a wet towel. Kyungsoo grabbed a handful of lettuce to stuff into Chanyeol’s mouth as Jongdae declared the competition over. Chanyeol’s mouth was nearly burning with the sting from the vegetables, but Baekhyun announced that he would get the chance to brush his teeth first later that night for winning the Worst Breath award, and Chanyeol laughed more freely and genuinely than he’d been able to in a while as Jongdae pulled his arm up in a first-place fist pump.
It wasn’t until later in the shower and Chanyeol was still grinning from the fun during dinner that he realised this came much more easily, being friends with all of them, being friends with Baekhyun, than remembering to be angry with Baekhyun. Being - staying - mad at Baekhyun was a conscious effort. He had to hold onto it, remind himself constantly of what Baekhyun had done. That didn’t make it magically okay, but Chanyeol had to admit that remembering was getting more difficult.
--
He hadn’t figured anything out by bedtime, but it was okay because he was clean and snug in his pajamas pressed up between Kyungsoo and Jongdae on the large bed. They’d made a mistake with the resort booking and gotten one with only one king-sized bed, but it was comfortable, Chanyeol feeling a humming contentment in his chest. Jongdae had the covers pulled up to his chin and was rolling about, even though Chanyeol complained about his wet hair dripping water down Chanyeol’s neck. Jongdae pinched him in the side.
“Hey,” Baekhyun came out of the shower, rubbing at his hair with a towel and looking at the three of them taking up the entire bed. “Where am I supposed to sleep, then?”
Jongdae poked a foot out from the bottom of the bed to point towards the sliding door that led to the barbeque pit. “Outside, duh.”
Baekhyun took a flying leap and landed smack on Chanyeol’s calves. Chanyeol was sure he had just broken something and yanked his legs out under Baekhyun to cross them.
“No.” Baekhyun folded his arms, frowning at each of them in turn.
“Rock paper scissors,” Chanyeol put his fist out. “Loser sleeps outside with the mozzies.”
Chanyeol won and was safe first, of course - he grinned proudly and grabbed a pillow triumphantly like the true game king he was. Jongdae grumbled and pushed Baekhyun off the bed, and Chanyeol smirked as he yelled for the second round because he wanted to get to laugh at the loser sooner. Kyungsoo won this round quickly with a victorious grin and a glint in his eye.
The last round was a close one, Chanyeol refereeing excitedly and turning both of them to backface each other so it would be more exciting. They went through five rounds of a tie and Jongdae was nearly peeing himself in frustration.
“Stop copying me,” he accused Baekhyun fiercely and turned back. Baekhyun kicked his calf just as they put out their hands - Jongdae scissors and Baekhyun paper.
“Jongdae!” Chanyeol yelled and jumped off the bed to grab his wrist as both of them turned around to look at the result. Baekhyun clutched at his face and fell to his knees in a dramatic show of agony while Jongdae whooped and jumped onto the bed.
“Loser,” Jongdae stuck his tongue out. Kyungsoo tossed a pillow at Baekhyun which ended up smacking him on the head with a completely unsympathetic “oops”, and Chanyeol grinned and waved as Baekhyun glared at all of them and grabbed his lone pillow to trudge out reluctantly.
“You’re all assholes,” Baekhyun grumbled, but laughter was all he got in reply.
“Move over,” Jongdae poked his elbow in Chanyeol’s side so he let up more space on his right for Jongdae. It was a bit confining, all three of them in the bed, but they were still laughing at Baekhyun’s tragic downfall, so Chanyeol didn’t really mind that he couldn’t roll about without hitting Kyungsoo or Jongdae. Chanyeol’s hands still stung from slapping his own thighs as he’d laughed, face aching from smiling too wide, eyes wet with laughter, and it was nice not being bogged down by constant self-reminders to stay indifferent.
They hadn’t even fallen asleep yet when Chanyeol heard the sliding door open and Baekhyun tiptoed in as quietly as he can, then plopped his entire frame on top of Jongdae.
“AARGH -” Jongdae yelled, but Baekhyun was already burrowing into the covers to roll over Jongdae and wedge himself in between Chanyeol and Jongdae, half of his body crushing Chanyeol’s shoulder. Another loud “ouch” and a dull thud told Chanyeol Jongdae had probably fallen off the bed. Sitting up and peering over into the darkness, Kyungsoo burst into laughter at Jongdae sprawled on the ground, clutching onto Chanyeol for support, and before Chanyeol knew it he was joining in, his stomach aching from laughing too hard.
Jongdae growled as he rammed his head into Baekhyun’s side so they were all pushed leftwards and got into bed, jabbing Baekhyun in the tummy with his elbow. Chanyeol’s shoulder was still wedged under Baekhyun’s body and their legs were a tangle in the sheets, but it was a warm, comfortable sort of squeeze and it occurred to Chanyeol, then, that it was so much easier to be a mature adult when he was laughing with them and stopped thinking about being angry.
---
The next day was a day to wow the world with his suaveness, as Chanyeol had spied several bikini chicks on the beach from the sliding door of their resort unit. He was armed with his fedora, his shades and his newly gym-sculpted body - ready to blow Haeundae Beach off its feet. Kyungsoo took one look at his ensemble and burst into laughter with Baekhyun, which made Chanyeol glare at them indignantly.
“What.”
“Were you aiming to look cool,” Jongdae asked as he grabbed a bottle of suntan lotion and pushed all of them out of the resort. “Because you just look like a city douche.”
Chanyeol almost stuck his middle finger up Jongdae’s nose, but revenge was less important than keeping his fingers safe from Jongdae’s nasal secretions. He ignored the rest of them and set himself up on a beach towel when they reached the beach, looking like the hottest man on the stretch of sand. He tried to prop himself up on his elbows so his abs would show.
“Wow, unattractive,” Kyungsoo remarked as he slathered sunscreen on himself. Chanyeol kicked a bit of sand at him, but half-heartedly, because he knew his friends were just jealous. He settled back onto his beach towel and squinted up at the blazing sun - it was a good afternoon to doze off, just warm enough to be sleep-inducing and the breeze light enough to be comfortable.
The next thing he knew, though, he’d woken up from a nap to discover that he’d grown boobs. Jongdae was patting these newly-formed sand boobs on his chest, compacting more sand beneath the palms of his hands so they were perfectly round, and a good C-cup size, Chanyeol surmised. Someone was tickling the soles of his feet and Chanyeol tried to flinch, except he couldn’t really move, because fuck, did they bury him under a ton of sand while he was sleeping?
“What the fuck.” Chanyeol lifted his head and discovered that the bottom of his head and his hair was buried too, and wrenched it out, flinging sand into a tittering Baekhyun’s face.
“You buried my hair too, you -” Chanyeol tried grabbing at Baekhyun but ended up shoving a whole lot of sand over as he shook his head and arm free furiously, because his hair was sacred, even his old ferret knew that, “little -”
Baekhyun squatted near his waist and grinned. “Nice boobs.”
“I should be a plastic surgeon.” Jongdae marveled at his creation as he shaped tiny nipples on Chanyeol’s grainy mounds.
“STOP,” Chanyeol bellowed because Jongdae was literally tweaking around on his chest and that was something he never wanted to see, “I am going to break your face when I -” he stopped, because Baekhyun tossed a bit of water at his face.
“Wow, you’re wet,” Baekhyun remarked deadpan, then burst into shrieking laughter with Jongdae as they fell over Chanyeol’s buried body. Someone - Kyungsoo - was still tickling his soles, Jesus Christ. Chanyeol had had it. He kicked upwards so his legs were freed, not caring if Kyungsoo got a mouthful of sand - actually, he hoped he did - and twisted himself so the boobs fell into a sad heap next to him and got to his feet, heading for the nearest person - Baekhyun - to wrestle into the sand. Baekhyun punched him and ran out of his grasp, but Chanyeol caught up to him soon enough to grab him by the waist and threw him, clothes and all, into the seawater so Baekhyun choked on a bit of water to stand up knee-deep in water, spluttering and glaring at Chanyeol. Chanyeol grinned at Baekhyun’s completely ruined blow-dried hair victoriously feeling like he’d just won an Olympic medal - revenge was infinitely better than any other sort of accomplishment, in his honest opinion.
And then someone’s hands were on his back and he pitched face-forward into the water before he could react in time to stop himself, reaching behind to latch onto the someone’s wrist as his face hit the water painfully so he didn’t go down alone. The someone turned out to be Kyungsoo, spraying water in his face but laughing, and they all got to their feet and looked over at Jongdae, laughing hysterically on his knees on the beach.
The next step was clear, of course, so Chanyeol took the arms and Baekhyun and Kyungsoo a leg each to hoist Jongdae up like a pig carcass to be roasted.
“One,” Chanyeol yelled as they swung him towards the sea.
“Two -” Baekhyun counted, and with Kyungsoo’s laughing “three!” Jongdae hit the water with a satisfying splash and Chanyeol high-fived Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, bumping chests like basketball pros. All four of them were wet and Hyunkyun-hyung would have ripped them a good one about their image if he saw them now, but who cared when this was the most fun he’d had in ages? He glanced over at Baekhyun still laughing and fending off Jongdae’s repeated pummelling and was a little surprised when he saw a partner in crime and a best friend instead of an ex, before realising that it was slipping his mind, the real reason why he was mad at Baekhyun at all.
---
The fun was a little less gratifying when Chanyeol found that he had to spend close to two hours trying to wash the sand grains out of his hair. He was bent over the sink, Kyungsoo holding the showerhead over his head and hosing his hair down not unlike how he’d seen pigs be hosed down, spitting a grain of sand that had found its way into his mouth into the sink bitterly.
“Baekhyun is an asshole,” he whined, resting his chin on his hands folded upon the counter.
“I feel like I’ve heard this from you at least a thousand times.” Kyungsoo didn’t sound very impressed.
“So is Jongdae,” Chanyeol pouted at the sink, and turned his head a little to twitch his nose miffedly at Kyungsoo for good measure. “And you.”
“You’re on your own, then,” Kyungsoo reached over to turn the faucet off, and Chanyeol hated how the whined dissent left his lips before he could stop it. “Nooooooooo.”
Kyungsoo laughed. “I’m going to squirt shampoo on your hair now, so don’t complain if it gets into your eyes because you didn’t close them.”
Chanyeol huffed and stuck his butt out so his back was curved less awkwardly, watching Kyungsoo work the shampoo into his hair in the mirror, Kyungsoo laughing as he grabbed two handfuls of foam to stick them on Chanyeol’s head like Mickey Mouse ears.
“You look dumb,” Kyungsoo grinned and stuck his head out of the bathroom. “Guys, picture - “
But Chanyeol wasn’t going to let him finish his sentence, of course, so he swiped all the foam he could grab in his palm to smear it down the side of Kyungsoo’s face. Kyungsoo’s face as he stopped midsentence to stare at Chanyeol was well worth - anything, to be honest.
When Baekhyun and Jongdae reached the door it was a bubble war, globs of foam flying everywhere as Chanyeol headbanged as hard as he could in the hope of hitting anyone, and Baekhyun shrieked as Kyungsoo and Jongdae teamed up to douse his head with the soapy water in the sink. Chanyeol felt a little surge of affection as he watched Baekhyun’s face contort with Kyungsoo and Jongdae’s manhandling, and he wasn’t too sure, but it seemed different from what he’d felt all the way back then when Baekhyun had first kissed his bare tummy with a grin, a kind of affection that felt especially right in this context, with the four of them horsing around. He couldn’t really parse the mechanics of the difference, but it was there.
Chanyeol yelled for a truce when they were down to hair-pulling and his eyes stung from the soap, grabbing the showerhead from Kyungsoo to rinse his face, and when he had his eyes clear enough to look at all of them panting but laughing in the bathroom, he registered that that sort of affection was nothing like the possessive exclusivity he’d had with his old girlfriend - it felt especially right because of Jongdae and Kyungsoo, too - but somehow just as fulfilling and just as enjoyable.
----
Chanyeol woke up the next day early with a mission to carry out: fill enough water bombs to stage a fight. He’d dragged Jongdae up with him, still rubbing his eyes sleepily as he helped fill small plastic bags Chanyeol had brought for this very reason, till they had two pails full and Chanyeol was itching to smash each one in someone’s face.
Jongdae burst one down Chanyeol’s neck and shirt when they reached the beach and found Kyungsoo and Baekhyun, which of course meant that they had to be on separate teams.
“I’m taking Kyungsoo,” Jongdae said and immediately sidled over to grab Kyungsoo in a one-armed hug, dammit. Kyungsoo had good aim and was heartless at the right times, which meant Chanyeol might see a good number of bombs burst on his face today, but at least he still had Baekhyun. Turning, he caught Baekhyun’s face and was momentarily stumped at Baekhyun’s slight hesitancy, like he wasn’t sure if Chanyeol was going to be okay with teaming with him, and in place of the simmering anger and hurt that had been before, Chanyeol found an eagerness in himself because Baekhyun was a good shot and a good friend.
“Okay,” he agreed quickly, and tossed Baekhyun a water bomb, mirroring the devilish grin on Baekhyun’s face.
The fight ended with Chanyeol’s team having several extra bombs to use on Jongdae’s team, the latter backpedaling as fast as they could on the sand, but Chanyeol pinned Kyungsoo down between his knees as he squeezed a bomb to burst in Kyungsoo’s face and Baekhyun and Jongdae rolled over and over with their arms locked around each others’ necks. Perhaps the most enjoyable thing about being friends with Baekhyun instead of being boyfriends with Baekhyun, Chanyeol decided, was that Baekhyun, Jongdae, Kyungsoo and him were quadruple the fun.
---
Snorkelling was something Chanyeol never wanted to repeat in his life, at least not with Jongdae. They’d been able to rent snorkeling masks to have a go in the shallower bays and had been instructed to hold hands so they didn’t get washed away individually from waves - Chanyeol had been unlucky to be on Jongdae’s left, and Jongdae, at the instructor’s encouragement, had decided to start a collection of sea souvenirs: a sea urchin, which Jongdae slipped into the pocket of Chanyeol’s boardshorts, bits of coral, and other bits of unidentified objects that Chanyeol figured was probably trash. Chanyeol’s hands were occupied by Baekhyun’s hand in his left and Jongdae’s death grip on his right, and the sea urchin was poking through his shorts. Jongdae pretended he couldn’t see Chanyeol’s glares through the snorkelling goggles, and Chanyeol was afraid attempts to kick Jongdae would make the sea urchin pierce right through the material of his shorts.
It was incredibly pretty, though, with the sheer blue of the ocean water and the fish swimming inches away from them, the corals on the seabed in various shapes and sizes. The waves were a little overwhelming, but Baekhyun and Jongdae’s hands in his were firm. Baekhyun laced their fingers together as the instructor led them to a deeper area and his fingers felt weird in Chanyeol’s, like when you laced your own hands together with your left thumb over your right on purpose instead of the other way round, naturally - still warm, and still vaguely familiar, but strange and awkward. Like a puzzle piece jammed into the wrong slot - it would fit if you forced them to, but forced was the exact problem, and this was why he hadn’t liked lacing his fingers in Baekhyun’s, when they’d been together.
The more corals they saw and the longer Baekhyun’s hand was in his, the more Chanyeol realised that he was okay with this, now, okay with holding Baekhyun’s hand even though it was strange like this, and he wondered if it was because they were now friends instead of a togetherness before, an entity on their own. It mattered before because Baekhyun’s hand was all that he had, but it didn’t matter now, if Baekhyun’s hand felt weird in his, because so were Jongdae’s icky ones, and Kyungsoo’s in Baekhyun’s had to be, too. The water was still warm, the sun still bright.
Chanyeol tried remembering that spark he’d felt when he’d first held Baekhyun’s hand as his boyfriend and realised it’d been a while since he’d felt that, a while since he’d felt any sort of attraction towards Baekhyun beyond the sex. Perhaps Baekhyun was right - perhaps they’d both been so caught up with the idea of falling in love with each other that they’d missed the point: Chanyeol thought about all the things they’d talked about when they’d been together, about the weather and their friends and Chanyeol and work and EXO and Baekhyun, but not Chanyeol and Baekhyun, themselves as a whole.
As their little party waited for Jongdae to pick up more souvenirs, he followed a little fish make its way to and from home with his eyes, weaving through the same path in the coral bed and he realised that all roads led to a paramour, but his roads fanned out from Baekhyun to all the things he could see and the people he could love.
---
"You seem better," Kyungsoo remarked as they made their way back from the row of shops near the beach after renting their floatie rafts. Kyungsoo had made them all agree to the rafts so they could relax for the afternoon in the sea, which was the point of this entire trip, Kyungsoo'd said, and Chanyeol had volunteered to get the neon coloured rafts with Kyungsoo while Baekhyun and Jongdae got them all drinks.
"What - yeah," Chanyeol pushed his lower lip out a little because of Kyungsoo's subtle shade. "I am a mature adult."
Kyungsoo glanced at him and laughed, patting him on the arm. "Yeah, I could really tell."
Chanyeol glared at him. "I've been doing a lot of thinking, okay."
"That's a good change." Kyungsoo grinned. "But seriously, I'm glad."
"I think I'm not angry at Baekhyun anymore." Chanyeol continued, dragging his feet in the sand.
"You stopped being mad a long time ago."
Chanyeol stuck his tongue out at Kyungsoo, though he was glad that Kyungsoo read him well. "What do you think love is, anyway?"
Kyungsoo glanced at him, a tiny bit of a smile on his lips, then looked at Baekhyun and Jongdae laughing a little away from them on the beach. "I'm not sure if your fifteen year old brain is enough to understand that."
"I'm older than you, you brat," Chanyeol swatted at Kyungsoo, who shied away chuckling, but he supposed Kyungsoo was right - they were barely out of their teens, still young as the sun was bright, still with a roar in their hearts. Who cared about the definition of love, if they were living in the moment and were having the time of their lives? Twenty-one was too young to be fettered by this; there were so many years ahead of them to figure out complicated things like these.
"I think you're wrinkling your brain a bit too much, look at your frown," Kyungsoo deadpanned, hoisted the rafts up in his arm. "Just be yourself, Chanyeol."
"And that's a mature, intelligent, dashing charmer." Chanyeol made sure to step on Kyungsoo's foot. "I haven't really figured everything out yet," he took a bit of lip in his teeth, "but I guess Baekhyun isn't really a dick after all."
"Oh, you guys are talking about dicks?" Jongdae asked as they reached him and Baekhyun. "Whose?"
"Hey, you know what they call a girl who likes small dicks?" Chanyeol grinned.
Jongdae looked at Baekhyun and shrugged. Chanyeol was grinning so wide he was ready to burst - he'd wanted to use this joke for ages, and bonus points for him because he was about to use it on Jongdae.
"Your girlfriend," he said and threw a raft at Jongdae.
"Fuck you," Jongdae yelled as the raft hit his face and Baekhyun broke into peals of hysterical laughter and Kyungsoo squeezed his eyes shut in mirth.
"Oh no, wait, you don't even have one," Chanyeol laughed and took off before Jongdae could force the handful of sand in his palm down his throat.
He dodged Jongdae till Jongdae tired and threw his handful in Chanyeol's general direction and stomped back to Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, then headed back to high-five Baekhyun in victory, mirroring Baekhyun's huge grin. Kyungsoo hustled them into the water before Jongdae could try anything else, though he was still chuckling, and Chanyeol made sure to add this to his mental Chanyeol VS Jongdae scoreboard.
"Did you know otters hold hands when they float on their backs in the water so they don't float away?" Baekhyun said as they dragged their floatie rafts into the wet shore. Jongdae grinned at this and bounded up to Chanyeol.
“No one wants to hold your hand,” Chanyeol told Jongdae, because this was bound to be some sort of revenge plan, and god knows what Jongdae had touched during the snorkelling session. Kyungsoo stared at Jongdae like see if you dare touch me.
“I wasn’t going to hold your hands either, okay,” Jongdae huffed as he kicked water at both Kyungsoo and Chanyeol and stomped over to Baekhyun, grabbing his hand before Baekhyun could protest.
“Why are we holding hands, anyway,” Chanyeol asked as they got into the water, getting onto his floatie raft and feeling Kyungsoo’s hand slip into his.
“Don't you want to be cute, like the otters,” Baekhyun said and reached over to take his hand, an action so natural and smooth and comfortable just like how Kyungsoo’s hand felt in his. Chanyeol plopped his head back on the raft and opened his eyes, looking at the infinite sky filling his entire field of vision, miles and miles of blue stretching before him, so boundless Chanyeol felt like he had the world at his feet.
Maybe he still hadn’t figured out what Baekhyun was to him - a boyfriend or a lover or a best friend, and maybe this might change in the future, but he was sure of one thing: that this was comfortable, easy, right, and he didn’t have to deal with the anger in him that made him grumpy and unhappy. Maybe he didn’t have to put a label on what he had with Baekhyun, school his feelings into a set boundary. Maybe he was too young to really understand what the difference between love and friendship was, too young to care. Maybe Baekhyun hadn’t been a shitty boyfriend and maybe there are people that just don’t fit together as a couple, but that’s okay because they’re right in other ways. Rotate a puzzle piece a little and you might fit two pieces together the way they're meant to. He looked down at his raft: Kyungsoo’s orange raft was bumping into his green one in the weak current, the neon colours feeling like his teenage summers all over again, young and fearless with everything to gain. Baekhyun's hand in his was sticky and warm and absolutely comfortable; his heart was completely calm and hey, maybe he could live with this.
ps. idolkiller drew this fanart for the last scene that is the CUTEST MOST BEAUTIFUL THING in the world and exactly what i had in mind ;~~; so YOU HAVE TO CLICK OR YOU ARE MISSING OUT u___u
chanyeol/baekhyun, gen 92 line (chanyeol/baekhyun/jongdae/kyungsoo), pg-13, general
how to fall out of love with your best friend... sorta.
dear idolkiller, i tried u___u bazillion thanks to potaoto, my personal superhero as usual ♥
In retrospect, perhaps it was the way Baekhyun put it that had started all this.
Baekhyun had watched as Chanyeol kissed him at the Han River during their little celebration for their first six months together - and Chanyeol had noticed how Baekhyun hadn’t kissed back, then - and stared out at the fountain jets from Banpo Bridge, then turned to Chanyeol after several long minutes of feeling the light spray on their faces.
“I think we should break up.” Baekhyun had said then, refusing to meet Chanyeol’s eyes. Chanyeol had stared at him, perplexed, then laughed.
“Eyyy,” Chanyeol had said, hooking his arm around Baekhyun’s neck to pull him in, snug under his armpit. “Funny joke.” His laughter had been sincere, because who breaks up with your boyfriend on your six month anniversary, right? He had been so sure Baekhyun was joking.
Baekhyun hadn’t moved out of Chanyeol’s headlock, though he’d stiffened and he hadn’t smiled, hadn’t crumpled up at the contact on the back of his neck like he always used to, and looked at Chanyeol seriously. “I don’t see the point.”
Chanyeol had been baffled, lost for words. What did that even mean? Boyfriends weren’t supposed to say that to each other. They were supposed to be full of shits and giggles and kisses and sex.
Baekhyun had stared at him for a long time, then snorted and looked back out at the Han River. “We’re not in love with each other, Chanyeol,” he’d said, removing Chanyeol’s arm from his neck and sidling away a fraction so they were no longer touching.
“What are you talking about?” Chanyeol’s answer had been instinctive - he’d blurted it like it was natural to do, an equal reaction to Baekhyun’s break up request. “We love each other.”
Baekhyun had smiled a little, then, almost the sort of smile he used to give Chanyeol. “We’re not in love, Chanyeol. I love you, but it’s the same kind of thing I have for Kyungsoo, or Jongin, whoever. We’re just - I think we’d be a lot better as friends. Best friends, even.”
Chanyeol had been so offended that he’d been rendered speechless. Was this what Baekhyun had meant when he’d kissed Chanyeol so long ago, that first kiss in their bedroom, when Baekhyun had yanked his pants down and sucked his dick, his fingernails pulling tracks in Chanyeol’s ass, when Baekhyun had carded his fingers in Chanyeol’s hair and scooted over in bed to let Chanyeol bury his face in his shoulder when Chanyeol was missing home? Had Baekhyun not felt the same sort of electricity in his veins when he’d kissed Chanyeol, like Chanyeol had? Did he do these things to Kyungsoo, too?
“I’m in love with you,” he’d said incredulously, finding the first words that came to his mind, throwing Baekhyun’s words back into his face. It was a little too loud for the night. Several people looked over and Chanyeol thanked the night for shadowing their faces.
Baekhyun had looked at him long and hard, like daring Chanyeol to say that on his conscience, and Chanyeol balled his hands into fists, teeth clenched. He was so angry at Baekhyun for doing this to him on their six-month anniversary, offended and stinging because Baekhyun had just been stringing him along all this while, that he’d snapped.
“Fine,” Chanyeol had said, spitting the words out like a jilted lover, even though he hadn’t liked how he’d sounded at all, “fine.”
And then he’d walked away first before Baekhyun could so he would be the one leaving Baekhyun instead, and went straight back to the dorms to move his entire mattress, sheets, blankets, and all, to dump them on the floor in Jongin’s and Kyungsoo’s room. He’d been furious, then, and had sworn to never be in the same room as Baekhyun.
He still was, to be honest. Indignant at being the one to get jilted and resentful at having his status as someone’s special someone snatched away from him. He didn’t understand anything - they’d been getting along fine; Baekhyun had even given him a handjob in the toilets earlier that week, but he’d just had to go ruin everything. He wanted an explanation, but like hell he was going to ask Baekhyun about it. He didn’t want to see Baekhyun around and be reminded of all the things Baekhyun hadn’t meant when they’d been together.
Schedules were difficult. Backstage Chanyeol busied himself with his phone and Kyungsoo, Sehun’s neck until Sehun snapped at him and moved away. He hated how he kept catching himself following Baekhyun around the room out of the corner of his eye, and had to make up for it by reminding himself about the way Baekhyun had broken his heart until he felt suitably betrayed. Seunghwan-hyung told him to stop scowling, they were going on in ten minutes. Kyungsoo patted his knee.
“You should talk to Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo said, looking like he was trying to put this as nicely as he could. “You guys are best friends.”
“No,” Chanyeol said and returned his attention to his phone. They weren’t friends - Baekhyun didn’t deserve that, not after he’d ripped Chanyeol’s heart out and stomped on it. Chanyeol didn’t want to give Baekhyun a chance, especially not when Baekhyun didn’t seem to be too bothered by their break-up and continued on just as cheerily. Chanyeol didn’t like being shortchanged; he deserved a lot more Baekhyun didn’t deliver, so he didn’t see why he should give Baekhyun the privilege of his civility.
Baekhyun didn’t seem too bothered by it, anyway, and kept up a tight but believable amiability with Chanyeol onstage. Chanyeol tried pretending when he could, like it didn’t bother him and make him want to punch Baekhyun where people could see. His attempts weren’t very successful, a lot of the time, and he got madder at Baekhyun when Youngmin-hyung gave him shit about having an attitude on variety guestings. This probably wasn’t great for their team’s dynamics in the long run, but Chanyeol couldn’t just pretend like nothing had happened - he didn’t care if he was being selfish or childish; he was getting over a breakup, he told himself. He could be as selfish and childish as he wanted to, even if his new ex was in the same group - lived in the same house (room) as he did.
“Chanyeol.” Junmyeon sat him down for a talk after a particularly bad interview where he’d had to sit next to Baekhyun. Junmyeon looked at him for a while, then his eyes softened, like he felt bad for Chanyeol, which Chanyeol took a bit of pleasure in - like he needed validation for being selfish and childish. “You know what I need to talk to you about.”
Chanyeol clammed up and folded his legs on his mattress, pulling his blankets around him like a fort. “I can’t,” he told Junmyeon, careful not to use I don’t want to. “Baekhyun is an asshole.”
Junmyeon sighed a little from Kyungsoo’s bed, looking down at Chanyeol. “Sleeping in Kyungsoo and Jongin’s room isn’t a long-term solution. You’re gonna have to move back into your room sometime.”
Resentment boiled up in Chanyeol, the same resentment that had set his heart and ears on fire when he realised Baekhyun was less affected by the breakup than he was. “Why don’t you ask Baekhyun to move out, instead,” he grumbled. He didn’t care if he was missing Junmyeon’s point.
Junmyeon pursed his lips and sighed again, but Junmyeon had patience by the bucket and Chanyeol knew he could test Junmyeon a lot further. Besides, Baekhyun was the wrongdoer; Chanyeol didn’t have anything to do with this. Baekhyun was the one who’d decided to stomp all over their relationship and group dynamics.
“Sehun said he’ll switch with you,” Junmyeon said, ushering Chanyeol into his room with a calming hand on his shoulder. Sehun took one look at his angry pout and rolled his eyes, then went back to gathering his blankets to move, so Chanyeol threw a pillow at Sehun and pulled Junmyeon’s sheets up to his neck, turning his back on Sehun and the door and tried to sleep. The last thought that tripped past his mind before he fell asleep was a sincere hope that Baekhyun caught pneumonia from Sehun’s leaving the door open at night, even though it was summer.
----
Baekhyun didn’t catch pneumonia.
And friends made his life a lot more difficult, Chanyeol realised the next morning. Or perhaps it was just Jongdae, whom Chanyeol didn’t consider as a friend at all.
jongdae why are you being a dick
Chanyeol swore to draw blood. WHO SAID THAT
jongdae sehun
jongdae well sehun said you were being a big baby, and i translated that
chanyeol fuck u
jongdae no thanks, you’re not my type
jongdae lol but really, you can’t be mad at him forever
chanyeol hahaha ur so funny
jongdae you do realise you’re in the same group as he is, right
Chanyeol knew, but so what? He wasn’t going to concede shit if Baekhyun wasn’t going to give him the grovelling apology he deserved. He didn’t have to be a mature adult about this if Baekhyun wasn’t going to, so he stopped replying Jongdae and went about the same way, ignoring Baekhyun when he could and minimizing interaction as far as possible when he couldn’t. Junmyeon tried talking him out of this, but Chanyeol was still stinging, still heartbroken from the Breakup. Junmyeon gave up and told him to try and hold it in till their week’s break, at least, and he could take the week off to calm down.
Which would have been fine, except for the part where Jongdae ruined all the things.
jongdae you do realise you are coming with us on that summer trip we planned a month ago for the week off, right
Chanyeol had forgotten - they’d been so excited at the prospect of a holiday, a month ago, that Baekhyun and Chanyeol had gone and convinced Kyungsoo and Jongdae to book a quiet little resort unit at Haeundae to get away and feel the sun, sand and sea. It’d be the shit, a chingu line club, Baekhyun had said.
Well, fuck the club. Chanyeol didn’t want to be anywhere near Baekhyun for the break, especially not when he was supposed to be enjoying the sand and sea. He’d take bumming around in the dorms alone over having to be around Baekhyun, even though he did miss the beach a lot. Then he decided that Baekhyun should be the one to sit this out - why did Chanyeol have to be the one to miss out on this trip?
chanyeol make baekhyun leave and i’ll go
jongdae grow up, man
chanyeol fuck you, i’m not going
jongdae lol if you don’t go baek is going to win this, do you want that
And he was, Chanyeol realised angrily. Chanyeol knew Jongdae was just saying that to incite him, poke at his competitiveness, and he was almost sure Baekhyun wasn’t even playing in this game at all, but he wasn’t going to look like a loser.
“I’ll go,” Chanyeol said the moment Jongdae picked up, “but I’m not going to talk to him.”
“Wimp,” Jongdae laughed, and hung up. Chanyeol threw his phone at his pillow and hoped Baekhyun contracted heatstroke from his blasting of the heater in their room.
---
On the day of the trip Chanyeol turned up downstairs separate from Baekhyun, slightly later than the rest as he'd waited for the front door to close behind Baekhyun before he came out of Junmyeon's room because he didn't want to have to be in the same choking elevator space with Baekhyun. This was a bad decision, because when he emerged from the elevator Jongdae, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun were laughing about something that he didn't know about and he felt himself pinching his mouth in a pang of jealousy before he could stop himself. Jongdae and Kyungsoo were his friends first, not Baekhyun's, and he'd have liked for a bit more loyalty on their part. But he didn't bring it up, not when Kyungsoo caught him coming out of the elevator and smiled warmly and Jongdae hooked his elbow through his arm to march Chanyeol into the waiting taxi. He supposed he could ignore Baekhyun's small smile that was a poor attempt at what he used to get.
The cab ride to the train station was okay because Jongdae and Baekyun talked enough for twenty people, and if Chanyeol mushed his ear into Kyungsoo's shoulder hard enough he was just about able to block Baekhyun's voice out. Kyungsoo looked at him out of the corner of his eye and Chanyeol was fairly sure he snorted, but didn't move. Chanyeol pursed his lips and pretended to be asleep for the rest of the trip, even though Baekhyun started rapping Beenzino and he kept fighting the urge to cut over Baekhyun and show him real rapping. He had to bite on the inside of his lip for a good part of Baekhyun's nasty rendition, because if he did, it would be like the old times, and Chanyeol wasn’t going to look clingy and nostalgic like a right old loser.
The train ride down to Haeundae was a lot worse; Kyungsoo got a call from his mother and went off to the end of the carriage to speak and Jongdae fell asleep because he’d been up chattering Minseok’s ear off last night about the vacation, so Chanyeol was stuck with Baekhyun.
“Haeundae is going to be so pretty,” Baekhyun said when Jongdae started drooling onto the table, his sentence clearly directed at Chanyeol, which made him bristle a little at the way Baekhyun was acting like nothing had happened.
He nodded before the silence got rude. “Yeah.” It hit him, then, a memory of when they’d still been together and they’d talked about plans for this vacation - Baekhyun had mentioned Haeundae’s beautiful beaches and the promise of sex on the beach. Chanyeol had to fight to keep his face neutral, to stop it from betraying his disappointment; Baekhyun showed no signs of remembering this, no signs of nostalgia at the very least.
“It’s going to be great, I heard we can snorkel there now!” Baekhyun’s smile was too genial, too platonic, too simple. Chanyeol hated it.
“Yeah,” he supplied, even though this was growing awkward and it was mostly his fault; Chanyeol hated awkwardness, and he felt a new rush of annoyance at Baekhyun for making him this way.
Baekhyun gave him a smaller smile, tighter this time, more strained - he obviously could see Chanyeol wasn’t up for a casual chat.
“Are you tired?” Baekhyun tried, his eyes holding a lot that Chanyeol did not feel up for parsing, which made Chanyeol even more pissed. Who was Baekhyun to still demand to be a friend? He nodded and avoided Baekhyun’s eyes, jamming his earphones into his ears to sink onto Jongdae, fervently hoping Baekhyun got all the shade he was trying to throw. Baekhyun shut up, after that, but didn’t seem too bothered, and struck up a lively conversation with Kyungsoo when he returned that got Chanyeol in an even worse mood. Jongdae kept shooting him glances, when they finally got off the train to head to the resort, threateningly, like warning a dog to stay quiet. Chanyeol stomped as hard as he could on Jongdae’s foot and then bared his teeth, because if Jongdae wanted a dog he would get one. Chanyeol was happy to deliver.
His mood brightened a little when they dumped their stuff in the pretty resort unit and ran outside so they could feel the sea breeze on their cheeks, inhaling deep lungfuls of salty, refreshing Haeundae. Chanyeol was easy - it didn’t take much for him to smile, and the vividness of the blue before him was good persuasion to make him reconsider the grumpiness he’d come here with. It would be dumb and a waste of this vacation to not enjoy Haeundae just because of Baekhyun, and he didn't like awkwardness at all, regardless of how reluctant he was to talk to Baekhyun. It didn’t mean he was about to call Baekhyun his best friend again, though - he’d forgiven Jongin for breaking his drumstick after a particularly hysterical Chelsea Vs Man United football match last week, but he hadn’t forgotten, and Baekhyun had broken his heart.
“The beach, first?” Baekhyun asked, but Jongdae was already halfway into his swimming trunks.
“Can you do that in private, please,” Kyungsoo gave Jongdae a mild withering look and turned away to head to the toilet. Jongdae looked like a hurt puppy for a second, except Kyungsoo wasn’t looking anymore, so his face twitched in annoyance.
“It’s not like you have anything to flaunt, anyway,” Baekhyun remarked offhandedly as he rummaged in his luggage and Chanyeol laughed, a sincere one filling the room, for the first time that week before he could stop himself. He couldn’t deny that it felt good, laughing around his friends and Baekhyun, even, but he hastily ironed his features into nonchalance and turned to dig into his bag before Baekhyun could notice.
Chanyeol had almost felt Jongdae rolling his eyes behind his back in the resort unit, so when they reached the beach and Baekhyun cartwheeled to land in a heap at the foot of the beach, ankle deep in water, Chanyeol caught Jongdae unawares to yank him by the waist into the sea, dunking his head under the water so Jongdae flailed his limbs around and socked Chanyeol in the balls.
“OW, Jesus,” Chanyeol let go of Jongdae as his knees gave so he was kneeling waist-deep in the water, cradling his balls that were throbbing in the least sexy way possible, and Jongdae stood up to spray a combination of seawater, saliva and his lunch at Chanyeol’s face.
“Serves you right,” Jongdae said as he stomped out of the water to head towards Kyungsoo, holding his arms out for a hug. Jongdae chased Kyungsoo in several figure eights before wrestling him into the sea anyway, and by then Chanyeol was laughing so hard he was hyperventilating, leaning against the nearest person - Baekhyun - for support. Baekhyun was in hysterics, too, propping both of them up with his shaking arm pitched in the sand as they watched Kyungsoo push Jongdae backwards into the water and fix him with a death glare, the effect rather undermined with water dripping into Kyungsoo’s eyes.
It wasn’t until they were all catching their breath from laughing that Chanyeol realised how intensely he had been leaning on Baekhyun and how, more importantly, his anger came only as an afterthought, after he’d felt the laughter fill him up inside, like the familiarity, the easy camaraderie was a second nature so ingrained that it swallowed everything. It made him angry at himself, almost - he didn’t want to cave so quickly. He didn’t want to be a pushover, not in front of Baekhyun.
It bothered him so much that he was almost hesitant to follow when Baekhyun tapped him quietly on the shoulder and asked to talk before dinner, almost doubting his decisions to stay mad at Baekhyun, like he should feel bad for not letting Baekhyun have another chance to hurt him. He left the pit right outside their resort unit to head inside with Baekhyun with a bit of confusion and much reluctance, as Jongdae yelled instructions for the barbeque pit and Kyungsoo ignored them, still trying to start a fire with utmost concentration. Baekhyun had his lips tucked against each other, pressing them together so they were white. It was the look Baekhyun made when he was trying to find a way to let it drop as lightly as he could. Chanyeol remembered it from that night at the Han River.
Baekhyun took a deep breath, then - “I guess I owe you an apology. I’m sorry?” Baekhyun looked down, the corner of his mouth pushed in, then looked back up at Chanyeol in the eye. “For.... asking to break up on our six-month anniversary. That was kind of a jerk thing to do, but I thought about it for a long time, and it just. Seemed like the right time to say it.”
Chanyeol was stumped for words. His chest felt fuller - was that validation he felt, for the way he’d been since the Breakup? Baekhyun was a jerk, he’d said so himself. Perhaps it wasn’t the whole apology he’d wanted - for Baekhyun to apologise for stomping all over his heart, for deciding what they were to be on his own, to grovel on his knees so Chanyeol could brush him off, but as Kyungsoo had said when Chanyeol expressed this desire, life wasn’t a KBS drama - but it made Chanyeol feel a little better, a little less indignant. He deserved this apology.
“It’s okay,” Chanyeol managed like it hadn’t bothered him, though he probably wasn’t fooling anyone.
“I really still want to be friends,” Baekhyun pressed on, thumbing the hem of his shirt. Chanyeol suddenly remembered how the hem of the sponsored top he’d worn for their debut had been grubby and grey from his nervousness, how he had pulled Baekhyun in with the crook of his elbow pressed to his neck and with a small squeeze of the back of Baekhyun’s neck to tickle him when he let go. “If, you know. You’re okay with that.”
It hit Chanyeol then, that he was important to Baekhyun - that Baekhyun still needed him; wanted him, and he felt some of the anger in him dissolve. Perhaps he didn’t like how Baekhyun hadn’t seemed to like him enough to stay boyfriends with him, but Baekhyun liked him enough, wanted him enough. It didn’t make everything fine and dandy; his heart was still crushed, but this was a concession on Baekhyun’s part, and he owed Baekhyun a chance, at least.
“I can be a mature adult,” he mumbled, catching Baekhyun’s eye after a while. “I am a mature adult.”
Baekhyun’s smile was blinding when it came, a flash of white Chanyeol had missed. “Yeah?” Baekhyun said and hooked his arm around Chanyeol’s neck, tiptoeing a little so he could reach.
“Go away, shortie,” Chanyeol jerked himself out of Baekhyun’s grip, but he was having trouble trying to keep his smile in at Baekhyun’s grin. He’d missed this; Baekhyun’s easy smile, his own easy smile around Baekhyun, and when they made it out of the unit to reach Kyungsoo and Jongdae still arguing about the fire, his anger felt a little doused, like some of the fuel that kept it going had been taken away.
“Where were you guys, jeez,” Jongdae wrestled the matches away from Kyungsoo and bumped him away to stand in front of the pit, “help me tie Kyungsoo up and throw him in the ocean.”
“You’ll have to order delivery,” Kyungsoo glanced at him and snorted. “You can’t even start a fire.”
“God damn,” Baekhyun said, going over to peer into the very still pit. “You guys haven’t even started the fire?”
“He wouldn’t listen to me,” Kyungsoo glared at Jongdae. “And the wind is really strong.”
“Were you guys shirking BBQ duties,” Jongdae asked accusingly. Chanyeol rolled his eyes and barged in between Kyungsoo and Jongdae to grab the matches from Jongdae because it was so easy to piss Jongdae off, so much easier than to decide if he still wanted to be mad at Baekhyun.
“Move,” Chanyeol lighted a match and held it to the coal, cupping his hand around the flame. “I’m the fire boy.”
It turned out that only the joint effort of all four of them was capable of starting a fire with Chanyeol and Jongdae blocking the wind and Baekhyun’s anxious instructions, but they had a fire going in the pit soon enough. Jongdae offered to grill the meat while the rest of them washed the vegetables and cooked the rice, before Chanyeol realised that he was eating all the samgyupsal fresh off the grill.
“You sneaky shit,” Chanyeol yelled and wrenched the tongs out of Jongdae’s hands, but Kyungsoo grabbed them almost immediately after.
“Neither of you are grilling,” he said, and no one could dispute Kyungsoo when he had one of his no-nonsense faces on, so they all crowded round the pit as Kyungsoo grilled and made lettuce wraps for each other and blew garlic breath in each other’s faces. Chanyeol made sure to chew thoroughly on some gochu and onion before he blasted them all in turn in the face with his hand held on the base of their heads so no one could escape.
“CHRIST,” Jongdae yelled and spat a bit in Chanyeol’s face as he took Chanyeol’s unadulterated fire breath in the face first, “what the fuck, what even did you eat, oh my god -”
Baekhyun screamed bloody murder during his turn and planted his fist in Chanyeol’s chest and Kyungsoo pushed him away, but this was too easy - Chanyeol snuck in an extra puff at Kyungsoo’s face before grinning at all of them fit to burst.
“You win, god,” Baekhyun scrubbed at his face with a wet towel. Kyungsoo grabbed a handful of lettuce to stuff into Chanyeol’s mouth as Jongdae declared the competition over. Chanyeol’s mouth was nearly burning with the sting from the vegetables, but Baekhyun announced that he would get the chance to brush his teeth first later that night for winning the Worst Breath award, and Chanyeol laughed more freely and genuinely than he’d been able to in a while as Jongdae pulled his arm up in a first-place fist pump.
It wasn’t until later in the shower and Chanyeol was still grinning from the fun during dinner that he realised this came much more easily, being friends with all of them, being friends with Baekhyun, than remembering to be angry with Baekhyun. Being - staying - mad at Baekhyun was a conscious effort. He had to hold onto it, remind himself constantly of what Baekhyun had done. That didn’t make it magically okay, but Chanyeol had to admit that remembering was getting more difficult.
--
He hadn’t figured anything out by bedtime, but it was okay because he was clean and snug in his pajamas pressed up between Kyungsoo and Jongdae on the large bed. They’d made a mistake with the resort booking and gotten one with only one king-sized bed, but it was comfortable, Chanyeol feeling a humming contentment in his chest. Jongdae had the covers pulled up to his chin and was rolling about, even though Chanyeol complained about his wet hair dripping water down Chanyeol’s neck. Jongdae pinched him in the side.
“Hey,” Baekhyun came out of the shower, rubbing at his hair with a towel and looking at the three of them taking up the entire bed. “Where am I supposed to sleep, then?”
Jongdae poked a foot out from the bottom of the bed to point towards the sliding door that led to the barbeque pit. “Outside, duh.”
Baekhyun took a flying leap and landed smack on Chanyeol’s calves. Chanyeol was sure he had just broken something and yanked his legs out under Baekhyun to cross them.
“No.” Baekhyun folded his arms, frowning at each of them in turn.
“Rock paper scissors,” Chanyeol put his fist out. “Loser sleeps outside with the mozzies.”
Chanyeol won and was safe first, of course - he grinned proudly and grabbed a pillow triumphantly like the true game king he was. Jongdae grumbled and pushed Baekhyun off the bed, and Chanyeol smirked as he yelled for the second round because he wanted to get to laugh at the loser sooner. Kyungsoo won this round quickly with a victorious grin and a glint in his eye.
The last round was a close one, Chanyeol refereeing excitedly and turning both of them to backface each other so it would be more exciting. They went through five rounds of a tie and Jongdae was nearly peeing himself in frustration.
“Stop copying me,” he accused Baekhyun fiercely and turned back. Baekhyun kicked his calf just as they put out their hands - Jongdae scissors and Baekhyun paper.
“Jongdae!” Chanyeol yelled and jumped off the bed to grab his wrist as both of them turned around to look at the result. Baekhyun clutched at his face and fell to his knees in a dramatic show of agony while Jongdae whooped and jumped onto the bed.
“Loser,” Jongdae stuck his tongue out. Kyungsoo tossed a pillow at Baekhyun which ended up smacking him on the head with a completely unsympathetic “oops”, and Chanyeol grinned and waved as Baekhyun glared at all of them and grabbed his lone pillow to trudge out reluctantly.
“You’re all assholes,” Baekhyun grumbled, but laughter was all he got in reply.
“Move over,” Jongdae poked his elbow in Chanyeol’s side so he let up more space on his right for Jongdae. It was a bit confining, all three of them in the bed, but they were still laughing at Baekhyun’s tragic downfall, so Chanyeol didn’t really mind that he couldn’t roll about without hitting Kyungsoo or Jongdae. Chanyeol’s hands still stung from slapping his own thighs as he’d laughed, face aching from smiling too wide, eyes wet with laughter, and it was nice not being bogged down by constant self-reminders to stay indifferent.
They hadn’t even fallen asleep yet when Chanyeol heard the sliding door open and Baekhyun tiptoed in as quietly as he can, then plopped his entire frame on top of Jongdae.
“AARGH -” Jongdae yelled, but Baekhyun was already burrowing into the covers to roll over Jongdae and wedge himself in between Chanyeol and Jongdae, half of his body crushing Chanyeol’s shoulder. Another loud “ouch” and a dull thud told Chanyeol Jongdae had probably fallen off the bed. Sitting up and peering over into the darkness, Kyungsoo burst into laughter at Jongdae sprawled on the ground, clutching onto Chanyeol for support, and before Chanyeol knew it he was joining in, his stomach aching from laughing too hard.
Jongdae growled as he rammed his head into Baekhyun’s side so they were all pushed leftwards and got into bed, jabbing Baekhyun in the tummy with his elbow. Chanyeol’s shoulder was still wedged under Baekhyun’s body and their legs were a tangle in the sheets, but it was a warm, comfortable sort of squeeze and it occurred to Chanyeol, then, that it was so much easier to be a mature adult when he was laughing with them and stopped thinking about being angry.
---
The next day was a day to wow the world with his suaveness, as Chanyeol had spied several bikini chicks on the beach from the sliding door of their resort unit. He was armed with his fedora, his shades and his newly gym-sculpted body - ready to blow Haeundae Beach off its feet. Kyungsoo took one look at his ensemble and burst into laughter with Baekhyun, which made Chanyeol glare at them indignantly.
“What.”
“Were you aiming to look cool,” Jongdae asked as he grabbed a bottle of suntan lotion and pushed all of them out of the resort. “Because you just look like a city douche.”
Chanyeol almost stuck his middle finger up Jongdae’s nose, but revenge was less important than keeping his fingers safe from Jongdae’s nasal secretions. He ignored the rest of them and set himself up on a beach towel when they reached the beach, looking like the hottest man on the stretch of sand. He tried to prop himself up on his elbows so his abs would show.
“Wow, unattractive,” Kyungsoo remarked as he slathered sunscreen on himself. Chanyeol kicked a bit of sand at him, but half-heartedly, because he knew his friends were just jealous. He settled back onto his beach towel and squinted up at the blazing sun - it was a good afternoon to doze off, just warm enough to be sleep-inducing and the breeze light enough to be comfortable.
The next thing he knew, though, he’d woken up from a nap to discover that he’d grown boobs. Jongdae was patting these newly-formed sand boobs on his chest, compacting more sand beneath the palms of his hands so they were perfectly round, and a good C-cup size, Chanyeol surmised. Someone was tickling the soles of his feet and Chanyeol tried to flinch, except he couldn’t really move, because fuck, did they bury him under a ton of sand while he was sleeping?
“What the fuck.” Chanyeol lifted his head and discovered that the bottom of his head and his hair was buried too, and wrenched it out, flinging sand into a tittering Baekhyun’s face.
“You buried my hair too, you -” Chanyeol tried grabbing at Baekhyun but ended up shoving a whole lot of sand over as he shook his head and arm free furiously, because his hair was sacred, even his old ferret knew that, “little -”
Baekhyun squatted near his waist and grinned. “Nice boobs.”
“I should be a plastic surgeon.” Jongdae marveled at his creation as he shaped tiny nipples on Chanyeol’s grainy mounds.
“STOP,” Chanyeol bellowed because Jongdae was literally tweaking around on his chest and that was something he never wanted to see, “I am going to break your face when I -” he stopped, because Baekhyun tossed a bit of water at his face.
“Wow, you’re wet,” Baekhyun remarked deadpan, then burst into shrieking laughter with Jongdae as they fell over Chanyeol’s buried body. Someone - Kyungsoo - was still tickling his soles, Jesus Christ. Chanyeol had had it. He kicked upwards so his legs were freed, not caring if Kyungsoo got a mouthful of sand - actually, he hoped he did - and twisted himself so the boobs fell into a sad heap next to him and got to his feet, heading for the nearest person - Baekhyun - to wrestle into the sand. Baekhyun punched him and ran out of his grasp, but Chanyeol caught up to him soon enough to grab him by the waist and threw him, clothes and all, into the seawater so Baekhyun choked on a bit of water to stand up knee-deep in water, spluttering and glaring at Chanyeol. Chanyeol grinned at Baekhyun’s completely ruined blow-dried hair victoriously feeling like he’d just won an Olympic medal - revenge was infinitely better than any other sort of accomplishment, in his honest opinion.
And then someone’s hands were on his back and he pitched face-forward into the water before he could react in time to stop himself, reaching behind to latch onto the someone’s wrist as his face hit the water painfully so he didn’t go down alone. The someone turned out to be Kyungsoo, spraying water in his face but laughing, and they all got to their feet and looked over at Jongdae, laughing hysterically on his knees on the beach.
The next step was clear, of course, so Chanyeol took the arms and Baekhyun and Kyungsoo a leg each to hoist Jongdae up like a pig carcass to be roasted.
“One,” Chanyeol yelled as they swung him towards the sea.
“Two -” Baekhyun counted, and with Kyungsoo’s laughing “three!” Jongdae hit the water with a satisfying splash and Chanyeol high-fived Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, bumping chests like basketball pros. All four of them were wet and Hyunkyun-hyung would have ripped them a good one about their image if he saw them now, but who cared when this was the most fun he’d had in ages? He glanced over at Baekhyun still laughing and fending off Jongdae’s repeated pummelling and was a little surprised when he saw a partner in crime and a best friend instead of an ex, before realising that it was slipping his mind, the real reason why he was mad at Baekhyun at all.
---
The fun was a little less gratifying when Chanyeol found that he had to spend close to two hours trying to wash the sand grains out of his hair. He was bent over the sink, Kyungsoo holding the showerhead over his head and hosing his hair down not unlike how he’d seen pigs be hosed down, spitting a grain of sand that had found its way into his mouth into the sink bitterly.
“Baekhyun is an asshole,” he whined, resting his chin on his hands folded upon the counter.
“I feel like I’ve heard this from you at least a thousand times.” Kyungsoo didn’t sound very impressed.
“So is Jongdae,” Chanyeol pouted at the sink, and turned his head a little to twitch his nose miffedly at Kyungsoo for good measure. “And you.”
“You’re on your own, then,” Kyungsoo reached over to turn the faucet off, and Chanyeol hated how the whined dissent left his lips before he could stop it. “Nooooooooo.”
Kyungsoo laughed. “I’m going to squirt shampoo on your hair now, so don’t complain if it gets into your eyes because you didn’t close them.”
Chanyeol huffed and stuck his butt out so his back was curved less awkwardly, watching Kyungsoo work the shampoo into his hair in the mirror, Kyungsoo laughing as he grabbed two handfuls of foam to stick them on Chanyeol’s head like Mickey Mouse ears.
“You look dumb,” Kyungsoo grinned and stuck his head out of the bathroom. “Guys, picture - “
But Chanyeol wasn’t going to let him finish his sentence, of course, so he swiped all the foam he could grab in his palm to smear it down the side of Kyungsoo’s face. Kyungsoo’s face as he stopped midsentence to stare at Chanyeol was well worth - anything, to be honest.
When Baekhyun and Jongdae reached the door it was a bubble war, globs of foam flying everywhere as Chanyeol headbanged as hard as he could in the hope of hitting anyone, and Baekhyun shrieked as Kyungsoo and Jongdae teamed up to douse his head with the soapy water in the sink. Chanyeol felt a little surge of affection as he watched Baekhyun’s face contort with Kyungsoo and Jongdae’s manhandling, and he wasn’t too sure, but it seemed different from what he’d felt all the way back then when Baekhyun had first kissed his bare tummy with a grin, a kind of affection that felt especially right in this context, with the four of them horsing around. He couldn’t really parse the mechanics of the difference, but it was there.
Chanyeol yelled for a truce when they were down to hair-pulling and his eyes stung from the soap, grabbing the showerhead from Kyungsoo to rinse his face, and when he had his eyes clear enough to look at all of them panting but laughing in the bathroom, he registered that that sort of affection was nothing like the possessive exclusivity he’d had with his old girlfriend - it felt especially right because of Jongdae and Kyungsoo, too - but somehow just as fulfilling and just as enjoyable.
----
Chanyeol woke up the next day early with a mission to carry out: fill enough water bombs to stage a fight. He’d dragged Jongdae up with him, still rubbing his eyes sleepily as he helped fill small plastic bags Chanyeol had brought for this very reason, till they had two pails full and Chanyeol was itching to smash each one in someone’s face.
Jongdae burst one down Chanyeol’s neck and shirt when they reached the beach and found Kyungsoo and Baekhyun, which of course meant that they had to be on separate teams.
“I’m taking Kyungsoo,” Jongdae said and immediately sidled over to grab Kyungsoo in a one-armed hug, dammit. Kyungsoo had good aim and was heartless at the right times, which meant Chanyeol might see a good number of bombs burst on his face today, but at least he still had Baekhyun. Turning, he caught Baekhyun’s face and was momentarily stumped at Baekhyun’s slight hesitancy, like he wasn’t sure if Chanyeol was going to be okay with teaming with him, and in place of the simmering anger and hurt that had been before, Chanyeol found an eagerness in himself because Baekhyun was a good shot and a good friend.
“Okay,” he agreed quickly, and tossed Baekhyun a water bomb, mirroring the devilish grin on Baekhyun’s face.
The fight ended with Chanyeol’s team having several extra bombs to use on Jongdae’s team, the latter backpedaling as fast as they could on the sand, but Chanyeol pinned Kyungsoo down between his knees as he squeezed a bomb to burst in Kyungsoo’s face and Baekhyun and Jongdae rolled over and over with their arms locked around each others’ necks. Perhaps the most enjoyable thing about being friends with Baekhyun instead of being boyfriends with Baekhyun, Chanyeol decided, was that Baekhyun, Jongdae, Kyungsoo and him were quadruple the fun.
---
Snorkelling was something Chanyeol never wanted to repeat in his life, at least not with Jongdae. They’d been able to rent snorkeling masks to have a go in the shallower bays and had been instructed to hold hands so they didn’t get washed away individually from waves - Chanyeol had been unlucky to be on Jongdae’s left, and Jongdae, at the instructor’s encouragement, had decided to start a collection of sea souvenirs: a sea urchin, which Jongdae slipped into the pocket of Chanyeol’s boardshorts, bits of coral, and other bits of unidentified objects that Chanyeol figured was probably trash. Chanyeol’s hands were occupied by Baekhyun’s hand in his left and Jongdae’s death grip on his right, and the sea urchin was poking through his shorts. Jongdae pretended he couldn’t see Chanyeol’s glares through the snorkelling goggles, and Chanyeol was afraid attempts to kick Jongdae would make the sea urchin pierce right through the material of his shorts.
It was incredibly pretty, though, with the sheer blue of the ocean water and the fish swimming inches away from them, the corals on the seabed in various shapes and sizes. The waves were a little overwhelming, but Baekhyun and Jongdae’s hands in his were firm. Baekhyun laced their fingers together as the instructor led them to a deeper area and his fingers felt weird in Chanyeol’s, like when you laced your own hands together with your left thumb over your right on purpose instead of the other way round, naturally - still warm, and still vaguely familiar, but strange and awkward. Like a puzzle piece jammed into the wrong slot - it would fit if you forced them to, but forced was the exact problem, and this was why he hadn’t liked lacing his fingers in Baekhyun’s, when they’d been together.
The more corals they saw and the longer Baekhyun’s hand was in his, the more Chanyeol realised that he was okay with this, now, okay with holding Baekhyun’s hand even though it was strange like this, and he wondered if it was because they were now friends instead of a togetherness before, an entity on their own. It mattered before because Baekhyun’s hand was all that he had, but it didn’t matter now, if Baekhyun’s hand felt weird in his, because so were Jongdae’s icky ones, and Kyungsoo’s in Baekhyun’s had to be, too. The water was still warm, the sun still bright.
Chanyeol tried remembering that spark he’d felt when he’d first held Baekhyun’s hand as his boyfriend and realised it’d been a while since he’d felt that, a while since he’d felt any sort of attraction towards Baekhyun beyond the sex. Perhaps Baekhyun was right - perhaps they’d both been so caught up with the idea of falling in love with each other that they’d missed the point: Chanyeol thought about all the things they’d talked about when they’d been together, about the weather and their friends and Chanyeol and work and EXO and Baekhyun, but not Chanyeol and Baekhyun, themselves as a whole.
As their little party waited for Jongdae to pick up more souvenirs, he followed a little fish make its way to and from home with his eyes, weaving through the same path in the coral bed and he realised that all roads led to a paramour, but his roads fanned out from Baekhyun to all the things he could see and the people he could love.
---
"You seem better," Kyungsoo remarked as they made their way back from the row of shops near the beach after renting their floatie rafts. Kyungsoo had made them all agree to the rafts so they could relax for the afternoon in the sea, which was the point of this entire trip, Kyungsoo'd said, and Chanyeol had volunteered to get the neon coloured rafts with Kyungsoo while Baekhyun and Jongdae got them all drinks.
"What - yeah," Chanyeol pushed his lower lip out a little because of Kyungsoo's subtle shade. "I am a mature adult."
Kyungsoo glanced at him and laughed, patting him on the arm. "Yeah, I could really tell."
Chanyeol glared at him. "I've been doing a lot of thinking, okay."
"That's a good change." Kyungsoo grinned. "But seriously, I'm glad."
"I think I'm not angry at Baekhyun anymore." Chanyeol continued, dragging his feet in the sand.
"You stopped being mad a long time ago."
Chanyeol stuck his tongue out at Kyungsoo, though he was glad that Kyungsoo read him well. "What do you think love is, anyway?"
Kyungsoo glanced at him, a tiny bit of a smile on his lips, then looked at Baekhyun and Jongdae laughing a little away from them on the beach. "I'm not sure if your fifteen year old brain is enough to understand that."
"I'm older than you, you brat," Chanyeol swatted at Kyungsoo, who shied away chuckling, but he supposed Kyungsoo was right - they were barely out of their teens, still young as the sun was bright, still with a roar in their hearts. Who cared about the definition of love, if they were living in the moment and were having the time of their lives? Twenty-one was too young to be fettered by this; there were so many years ahead of them to figure out complicated things like these.
"I think you're wrinkling your brain a bit too much, look at your frown," Kyungsoo deadpanned, hoisted the rafts up in his arm. "Just be yourself, Chanyeol."
"And that's a mature, intelligent, dashing charmer." Chanyeol made sure to step on Kyungsoo's foot. "I haven't really figured everything out yet," he took a bit of lip in his teeth, "but I guess Baekhyun isn't really a dick after all."
"Oh, you guys are talking about dicks?" Jongdae asked as they reached him and Baekhyun. "Whose?"
"Hey, you know what they call a girl who likes small dicks?" Chanyeol grinned.
Jongdae looked at Baekhyun and shrugged. Chanyeol was grinning so wide he was ready to burst - he'd wanted to use this joke for ages, and bonus points for him because he was about to use it on Jongdae.
"Your girlfriend," he said and threw a raft at Jongdae.
"Fuck you," Jongdae yelled as the raft hit his face and Baekhyun broke into peals of hysterical laughter and Kyungsoo squeezed his eyes shut in mirth.
"Oh no, wait, you don't even have one," Chanyeol laughed and took off before Jongdae could force the handful of sand in his palm down his throat.
He dodged Jongdae till Jongdae tired and threw his handful in Chanyeol's general direction and stomped back to Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, then headed back to high-five Baekhyun in victory, mirroring Baekhyun's huge grin. Kyungsoo hustled them into the water before Jongdae could try anything else, though he was still chuckling, and Chanyeol made sure to add this to his mental Chanyeol VS Jongdae scoreboard.
"Did you know otters hold hands when they float on their backs in the water so they don't float away?" Baekhyun said as they dragged their floatie rafts into the wet shore. Jongdae grinned at this and bounded up to Chanyeol.
“No one wants to hold your hand,” Chanyeol told Jongdae, because this was bound to be some sort of revenge plan, and god knows what Jongdae had touched during the snorkelling session. Kyungsoo stared at Jongdae like see if you dare touch me.
“I wasn’t going to hold your hands either, okay,” Jongdae huffed as he kicked water at both Kyungsoo and Chanyeol and stomped over to Baekhyun, grabbing his hand before Baekhyun could protest.
“Why are we holding hands, anyway,” Chanyeol asked as they got into the water, getting onto his floatie raft and feeling Kyungsoo’s hand slip into his.
“Don't you want to be cute, like the otters,” Baekhyun said and reached over to take his hand, an action so natural and smooth and comfortable just like how Kyungsoo’s hand felt in his. Chanyeol plopped his head back on the raft and opened his eyes, looking at the infinite sky filling his entire field of vision, miles and miles of blue stretching before him, so boundless Chanyeol felt like he had the world at his feet.
Maybe he still hadn’t figured out what Baekhyun was to him - a boyfriend or a lover or a best friend, and maybe this might change in the future, but he was sure of one thing: that this was comfortable, easy, right, and he didn’t have to deal with the anger in him that made him grumpy and unhappy. Maybe he didn’t have to put a label on what he had with Baekhyun, school his feelings into a set boundary. Maybe he was too young to really understand what the difference between love and friendship was, too young to care. Maybe Baekhyun hadn’t been a shitty boyfriend and maybe there are people that just don’t fit together as a couple, but that’s okay because they’re right in other ways. Rotate a puzzle piece a little and you might fit two pieces together the way they're meant to. He looked down at his raft: Kyungsoo’s orange raft was bumping into his green one in the weak current, the neon colours feeling like his teenage summers all over again, young and fearless with everything to gain. Baekhyun's hand in his was sticky and warm and absolutely comfortable; his heart was completely calm and hey, maybe he could live with this.
ps. idolkiller drew this fanart for the last scene that is the CUTEST MOST BEAUTIFUL THING in the world and exactly what i had in mind ;~~; so YOU HAVE TO CLICK OR YOU ARE MISSING OUT u___u
