antitoxin (3/3)
antitoxin (3/3)
chanyeol-centric, chanyeol/jongin, gen kris/chanyeol, pg-13, general
The state has everyone under metaphorical gunpoint, but when it decides Chanyeol and Jongin are worth less than they cost to keep alive, Chanyeol and Jongin are forced to fight for themselves and their team.
dystopian au inspired by the hunger games and the bourne legacy
previous
Jongin is weak, very weak the next morning, fighting himself to get up, but Lu Han presses him back into the sheets, muttering about the sedative weakening people's constitutions, and Jongin’s track record with the tyrosine deficiency doesn't help. Chanyeol watches as Jongin gets fed one precious pill and falls into fitful sleep. The minutes Jongin spends awake numb Chanyeol’s chest even more than the ones he spends smoothing the wrinkles out of Jongin’s frown as he sleeps, because Jongin is nauseous and rejects food - this is a clear sign of something gone wrong. The edge of Chanyeol’s thumb is nearly raw from his teeth.
It kills Chanyeol inside, that he can’t do anything for Jongin, especially when Jongin breaks into a fever that Kyungsoo has to bring down with constant snow wrapped in a towel on his forehead. Lu Han tries slipping back into Vector to get liquid aspirin from Yixing after an afternoon of Jongin’s fever dipping and peaking erratically, but Yixing only manages to procure a teeny bit - pharmaceuticals are the most strictly controlled substance in the country - and it slips down Jongin’s throat so quick Chanyeol doesn’t think it will make a difference at all. His patience is wearing thin by the minute. He’s got to do something.
Perhaps the tyrosine pills will help; they’re all they’ve had before when Jongin was trembling and limp in Chanyeol’s arms. A touch of Jongin’s burning cheeks is enough to rip Chanyeol apart inside: he bolts out of the bedroom to reach the drawer in the kitchen they keep the chems in, nearly breaking the hinge on the door as he yanks it apart, and is scrabbling at the chems to remove a strip when Kyungsoo’s flinging his arm away so it slams against the counter and Chanyeol’s turned to face Kyungsoo, the strip of chems clattering on the floor. Chanyeol catches Kyungsoo’s eye - Kyungsoo is calm but serious, but he doesn’t care. He picks the strip of chems up.
“What are you doing,” Kyungsoo looks at him with a hard stare. Chanyeol can hear him keep his voice carefully neutral.
“Jongin needs the chems, something,” Chanyeol says and makes to brush past Kyungsoo, but Kyungsoo doesn’t move.
“Jongin doesn’t need the chems. He has a fever, not tyrosine deficiency.” Kyungsoo’s better at keeping his tone cool than Chanyeol is. Chanyeol is nearly seeing red.
“I don’t care,” Chanyeol says, trying to move past Kyungsoo. “He needs something. The chems might help.”
“You can’t,” Kyungsoo pulls the strip of chems out of Chanyeol’s hands. “We can’t go back to Phe HD anytime soon, not with Jongin like this, and the guards there will be on their utmost alert for strangers. We need the chems to last.”
Chanyeol tries snatching the chems back, but Kyungsoo has a death grip on them, and it pisses the hell out of Chanyeol.
“I don’t care,” he yells, making Kris come into the kitchen surprised, but Chanyeol ignores him. “Give him my share, then, all of mine for the next week.”
“No,” Kyungsoo looks at Chanyeol. “We need you at your best for when we hit Phe HD again.”
It feels like all his anger has boiled down to a crystalline substance, popping roughly in his throat, and Chanyeol snaps. Kris rounds the table, now, saying something consolatory, but Chanyeol doesn’t hear anything. He punches Kyungsoo on the mouth.
“Fuck you,” he yells, past caring about the chems, now - he wants someone to blame, someone to make Jongin better again, though he knows the first is himself and he cannot become the second, till he feels Kris wrap his arms around himself; he’s scrabbling, flailing trying to get out of Kris’ grip, and Minseok has his arms around Kyungsoo, now, putting himself between Kyungsoo and Chanyeol.
“Hey, hey, Chanyeol -” Minseok yells, over Chanyeol’s screaming, “Break it up.”
Kris forcibly yanks Chanyeol out of the kitchen; by now Chanyeol’s left with choked sobs, remnants of his anger at himself, barely fighting it anymore, and lets Kris lead him out of the apartment, pushing him so he falls on his knees in the snow. Chanyeol punches at the snow - it’s cold, soft and yielding, a stark contrast to Kyungsoo’s cheek. It burns his knuckles. Chanyeol lets his hand fall to his side, feeling all the fight going out of himself.
Kris sighs heavily, sinking down on the snow next to Chanyeol, putting a tentative hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder. Chanyeol knows he’s being childish, reckless, rash, but he can’t help himself - Jongin in pain is his worst undoing. His tears are scorching on his skin against the winter draught and he tries wiping them away, focusing on calming his jackrabbiting heartbeat. Kris doesn’t say anything, just watches him and keeps that hand on his shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” Chanyeol finally whispers, the sound almost carried away by the gusting wind. Kris chuckles a little.
“I’m sure Kyungsoo understands.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“I know it’s hard,” Kris says, squeezing Chanyeol’s shoulder, “but Jongin will be fine. He just needs a lot of rest and recuperation for his body to rebuild the blood he’s lost.”
“His blood isn’t good.” Chanyeol whispers against his sleeve as he wipes his cheeks dry fiercely.
“He just needs time.” Kris’ voice is calm and soothing, a good salve for Chanyeol’s broken insides. “And for you to not force-feed him tyrosine.”
“I’m sorry.” Chanyeol almost chokes on a half-laugh, half-sob. Kris pats his back.
“Tell that to Kyungsoo in a bit, after Minseok helps him with that cheek. Your knuckles are pretty tough.”
They sit there in the snow, till Chanyeol’s heart is calmer and ridden with guilt, now, and Kris ruffles his hair as they head back into the apartment. Kyungsoo’s sitting on the couch staring straight ahead, still holding snow wrapped in a towel to the corner of his mouth.
“I’m sorry.” Chanyeol can’t meet Kyungsoo’s eyes.
Kyungsoo watches him for a second, then curves the unmarred corner of his mouth up in a small, reluctant smile, looking down. “It’s okay.”
“You were right, Jongin doesn’t -” Chanyeol’s tripping over his own words to find the right thing to say, but Kyungsoo cuts in, his smile a lot more reassuring this time, and reaches a hand out to smooth over Chanyeol’s nervous fist.
“It’s okay,” Kyungsoo nods. “I understand.”
Chanyeol doesn’t know what to say. “Sorry,” he offers finally, looking at his feet. Minseok laughs from the side and pats Chanyeol on the shoulder.
“Kyungsoo got it the first time,” Minseok says and tugs on Chanyeol’s hand. “Jongin’s up, his fever broke.”
No one told Jongin about the brawl, which Chanyeol is a little guilty for, but very thankful, especially when Jongin’s eyes crinkle a little in when he sees Chanyeol. Jongin struggles to sit up, but can down a bit of food this time, and his pulse is less erratic, which makes Chanyeol breathe a lot easier and hold Jongin’s fingers laced in his more tightly than usual.
---
They’re stranded, Minseok reckons for at least the next month till the Paramount starts growing more lax, so Kris, Minseok and Chanyeol head to the forests again to try their luck with hunting while Lu Han and Kyungsoo make another trip down to Vector to pilfer from the market, maybe get some protein pills for Jongin’s weakening muscles if they can find any. No one says anything, but it’s clear that the month’s setback has affected them all and the apartment is now quieter, a resigned sigh buzzing through the air, and it doesn’t get better with Jongin’s constant struggles to get out of bed and start running no matter how much it hurts because he doesn’t want to bring the team down. It’s not your fault, don’t beat yourself up, Kris tells Jongin constantly, but Chanyeol doesn’t miss Jongin’s anger at his own body. Jongin’s frustration translates to some of Chanyeol’s own, and he tries to hide it to not make anything worse - a team is only as buoyant as the cheeriest of the group - but Chanyeol’s never really been a true optimist, anyway, not if he can’t find anything in himself to smile.
The hunting is easier, at least, after that first time, and Chanyeol takes out pigeons easily enough, a rabbit that Minseok cornered and a goose-like bird that was satisfyingly large. Practice makes numbness; by the time they catch the large bird for slaughter Chanyeol’s hands are already steady and deft, and Minseok pats him on the back for a job well done. It hits Chanyeol, when they’re walking back to Minseok’s with their bounty, that perhaps this behavior is rather chilling, but Chanyeol shuts himself up with the argument that he was just doing this to survive. Perhaps survive to continue with a bleak, grey existence not unlike what they’d had before the bombing, but this time is different because he’d gotten his hopes up at the prospect of what they could have if they succeed. You can’t miss what you never had, he thinks, and that’s why his old self was happier.
It also scares him, that he’s mellowed out, now, more conservative and less idealistic - his sanguinity was what he had prided himself on, but there’s no room for him to be so in the face of their reality, not when Jongin is weak and his own mental senses are weaker.
The days drip into one another as they wait; Chanyeol isn’t even sure what day of the week it is, anymore, in Minseok’s apartment completely cut off from the outside world, and even peeking his head out in the cold just shows the same scene; black rubble against white snow and grey ice. Sometimes Chanyeol spends days just staring at the cement floor, feeling his heartbeat resonate in his chest cavity and trying his best to think about nothing, not about the possibility of Jongin’s fever returning, not about the countless ways their final mission in Phe HD could end horribly, not about the ways they could die. The apartment is a lot less hopeful, now, quieter and more sombre with the considerable abatement of Chanyeol’s laughter and Lu Han’s much thinner attempts at mirth. Jongin’s getting better, at least going by Kris and Kyungsoo’s non-expert opinion and Jongin’s gradually lightening grimaces, but it’s weak hope in the stifling apartment, a fizzing spark in a heavy cloud of smoke.
Chanyeol takes the inside of his cheek between his teeth hard, smooths his right thumb over the ragged edge of his left and leaves the apartment one day when Jongin’s particularly frustrated at himself and Minseok and Kyungsoo are stumped for solutions to some of the possible problems they might meet in Phe HD, gulping deep breaths of the cold air even though it tears at his throat because his lungs feel deflated and he just wants to breathe, fill his lungs with air. His cheeks are cold from wetness, but he keeps walking, all the way until the forest border, sinking down onto the fence. He’s too drained to start sobbing.
He’s caught up watching the snowflakes land soundlessly on the low-hanging tree branches with glazed eyes that he doesn’t notice Kris fold himself into the fence next to him for a second, and when he does he’s a little startled. Kris picks up a bit of snow from the ground to compact into a snowball.
“What’s wrong?” It’s soft and understanding, like how Chanyeol has come to know Kris is, but he’s not in the mood to explain anything.
“Nothing,” is his instinctive answer. Kris stops compacting the snowball in the palms of his hands and looks at Chanyeol, eyes knowing.
“It’s not nothing.”
“I’ll be fine,” Chanyeol manages gruffly, trying to stifle the sob in his chest. “Go back in, it’s cold.”
Kris laughs, picking up more snow to add to his snowball. “That’s advice you should take. You didn’t have your pill today?”
Chanyeol realises then that he’d forgotten, an action so routine and instinctive and essential for the last twenty years like his life depended on it. It floors him, that his mind had been so wracked with worry that he’d forgotten, that he begins to wonder if he’s going slightly crazy. Kris holds out a pill in his palm and Chanyeol swallows it quickly, the pill sliding down his throat without even the need for water.
“You know it’s the deficiency talking, right?” Kris tosses the snowball into the snow; it lands with a soft thud and scattering so it goes back to how it had been. “The depression.”
Chanyeol looks down at his lap, then back up. “I’m trying not to think about it.” He knows Kris will catch the second half - I’m not doing very well. Kris picks up more snow.
“Jongin’s getting better,” Kris says, stating a simple fact, not sugar-coated with lies Chanyeol doesn’t need to hear. He doesn’t mention the future, not Jongin will be fine, not we’ll make it, because Chanyeol knows their chances.
“I know,” Chanyeol says quietly. It’s just difficult to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel when you can see it’s a long way to the end. Smiles don’t mean anything, not when he doesn’t feel them inside.
They’re quiet for a long time, Chanyeol trying to find the correct words. “The one time we actually succeeded, when Yixing helped us -” Chanyeol presses his lips together and kicks lightly at the snow beneath him, “that seemed too easy, like everything was going to be a walk in the park.” Chanyeol latches on easily to successes and tries not to dwell on the setbacks, but this also gets your hopes dangerously high, and Chanyeol knows it’s a long way to fall from there.
“It was hard for Yixing.”
This comes as a surprise to Chanyeol - he hadn’t realised. “Yixing agreed so quickly, I didn’t - I thought.....”
Kris chuckles dryly, adding to his snowball. “He’d probably spent all of his time in Lu Han’s apartment after Lu Han followed us back - I didn’t ask, when I went to talk to Lu Han, because I assumed he’d talked to Yixing already and worked something out. But I should have guessed when Yixing didn’t come with us - those two were inseparable, even back when I was still in Vector.
“You know that sort of feeling you had when Jongin was limp on your shoulders? I suppose that must have been what Yixing had felt, except more confused and lost, because he didn’t know where Lu Han was.” Kris says and hands Chanyeol his snowball, nodding at the expanse of snow before them; Chanyeol throws as far as he can so it hits a tree right ahead, smashing into smithereens.
“But Yixing doesn’t hold grudges; he’s never been able to, not against Lu Han,” Kris says quietly as they watch the snow fall. “He wasn’t doing you or Kyungsoo, or even me a favour, as callous as that sounds.”
Chanyeol bends over to make a snowball of his own as Kris takes a deep breath and releases it slowly, measuredly. “What I’m trying to say is,” Kris pats Chanyeol on the knee, “it’s not going to be easy, you know that. But that’s what a team is for - to split the burdens, cover for each other. Sometimes someone will be there to shoulder the difficult things.”
Chanyeol thinks about this, about the idea of a team, people besides Jongin to share his heart with, about the ice that is sturdy and unbreakable when snow compacts together, about the bird they’d caught this morning that had lagged behind in the flock, for a long time, till his face is numb from the cold and his teeth are chattering and he feels the chill in his bones. Kris has his shoulders hunched up to cover most of his mouth.
He thinks about Minseok, who is good at making sure no one is left behind; about Kyungsoo, who thinks of everything so they won’t be flustered when things don’t go according to plan; about Kris, who keeps dragging Chanyeol up by the collar so he doesn’t drown; about Jongin, who fights six times as hard for the rest; about Lu Han, who is resourceful and is good at smoothing rough edges of reality rounded so they breathe easier; about Yixing, who would throw himself into fire for a friend; about himself, who isn’t afraid to fight for what they want. About no one telling Jongin about the fight he’d had with Kyungsoo, about Kyungsoo’s warm hand on his balled-up fist, about Minseok’s hand on the back of his collar in the alley, about Jongin’s arm in his side, about Lu Han’s laugh ringing in the apartment, about Kris sitting with him in the cold and refusing to let him get hollowed out, to let him lose the fire in his eyes, and he thinks he gets it.
The spit in the back of his throat slips down easier when he swallows and smiles, genuinely this time, at Kris, and nods.
“Thanks,” Chanyeol tries to move to engulf Kris in a sort of hug but ends up falling off the fence instead, landing in the snow, surprising a laugh out of both him and Kris. Kris pulls him to his feet as they both stand up on Water’s side of the fence and head back, and Chanyeol thinks that light at the end of the tunnel seems a little brighter.
---
It gets better. Lu Han and Minseok make trips to the border of Phe HD to survey the situation and report that the guards seem less numerous and less attentive by the week. Jongin’s nearly all better, now, especially with the original tyrosine schedule Chanyeol has him on with more pills stolen from Vector’s stockhouse and a bit of morphine that Kyungsoo brought from Vector. Everyone seems reenergized now that their goal is getting nearer and their plans are rehashed down to the very last detail, over and over.
Their plan: Kris, Minseok and Jongin pull the power on Phe HD when everyone’s asleep; Chanyeol slips into the plant with Lu Han and Kyungsoo who grab enough DNA vials for all seven of them, back to the forests, and wait till the morning for Lu Han and Kyungsoo to slip back into the plant amidst the crowd to insert the DNA into the vector. The presence of a dart gun of their own encourages Chanyeol a little - the one that Jongin had thought to grab from the guard in Phe HD and Minseok had picked up - none of them are great marksmen, but it’s still a weapon; they’re no longer only on defence. If all goes well (Chanyeol has his fingers crossed), they should have the readied vector in four days.
Friday is their ultimatum.
Lu Han decides it’s circumstance for a snowball fight when they’re all walking back from their last trip to scope Phe HD out, landing one snowball each on Chanyeol’s and Minseok’s back, and chaos breaks: Chanyeol heads over to wrestle Lu Han into the snow, Minseok retaliates with a well-packed snowball but hits Kris in the face, who sputters and tries shaking the snow off his face, Kyungsoo gets snow dumped into his coat by Jongin, and soon they’re all rolling in the snow, laughing and yelling, Kris’ bellows sounding loud and clear over the cacophony. They’re panting, rolling on their backs to lay in the snow, and Chanyeol’s toes are freezing, but he doesn’t want to move, his body close enough to Lu Han’s and Minseok’s for warmth, and notices that the sky is especially dotted with stars that evening, each linked to another with imaginary lines to form constellations.
---
Friday is a day that seems almost like any other outside in the snow, but Chanyeol’s nearly thrumming with sheer energy and restlessness in the morning, checking and rechecking the safety on the dart gun - they’d decided Minseok would have the best chances with it, checking and rechecking his screwdriver in his pocket, checking and rechecking the clasp on the container Kyungsoo had brought from Vector’s plant to fill with snow to hold the DNA vials. They’re not up to their last pills yet, but this is probably the only shot they have. None of them will let this fuck up in their faces.
It’s quiet in the forests during sunset when they make their way to Phe HD’s border, their boots crunching in the snow. Chanyeol fights to calm his heart; he’s more anticipatory than nervous, adrenaline coursing through his veins as he runs through the plans in his head again. The familiar alley that leads to the back door of the plant looms ahead beyond the well-used path in the forests a little too quickly. Jongin squeezes his fingers. Chanyeol swallows and nods, he’s okay.
“We’ll be at the back door the minute we trip the power,” Kris whispers, “remember, we’ll be here to get your back. Minseok’s got the dart gun. We’ll make it.”
Lu Han nods, his lips pressed together in steely conviction. Kyungsoo’s eyes are sharp. Chanyeol forces his heart back down his throat. He can almost feel his veins vibrating with tension.
There’s an almost imperceptible hitch of breath from someone - Chanyeol looks up in time to see a guard fall to the floor limply from Minseok’s raised gun, and almost too suddenly, Minseok is throwing Kris and Jongin into the alley, whispering for them to hurry - they don’t have much time, if someone comes to look for this guard. Chanyeol has barely time to whisper, be safe, before Jongin’s back disappears round the corner.
A minute, or two, maybe five, pass, when suddenly it’s too dark to see; there are shouts from further inside Phe HD, bellows and squeals of surprise as the precinct is thrown into darkness; Lu Han is hustling Chanyeol and Kyungsoo through the trees, into the alley - Chanyeol runs, his pupils still trying to adjust to the change in light, his heart exploding, to the door, holding Minseok’s flashlight to the security scanner so he can dismantle it and force the doors open - the shouts are still going on, but he doesn’t breathe, focuses on the screws, the last one - and the doors are open, Lu Han and Kyungsoo sprinting into the pitch dark of the deserted plant. Chanyeol hesitates for a moment, looking at the fallen guard, then darts out to grab his gun and backpedals into the plant, raising it when a figure appears at the door - but he realises it’s Kris. Chanyeol slides the gun towards Kris and takes off after Lu Han, who’s made it up the metal stairs to a room with huge fridges.
Kyungsoo and Lu Han are rifling through the industrial-size fridges, but nothing seems to come up; Chanyeol seems to hear the sounds of a tussle at the door of the plant but forces himself to focus, yanking doors apart to watch frosted tubes clatter to the floor, but there’s nothing labeled Phe HD that he can see.
Lu Han and Kyungsoo abandon the room for the next, Chanyeol holding his flashlight up so they have a source of light, but there’s nothing in there; Kyungsoo nearly trips over the rolling tubes slippery on the floor, but Chanyeol catches him and they head to the third room with more fridges. The shouts downstairs are getting louder, now, is that Jongin he hears - but Chanyeol forces himself to focus on searching, and it’s a heart-stopping moment when Lu Han yells - “I’ve got it, here” - jamming a handful of vials into his container of snow and Kyungsoo grabs some, too, in his.
They head out, hammering down the stairs, and Chanyeol is moving too fast to see what is going on at the door; everything is happening much too fast, his heart is threatening to fling itself out of his chest, not Jongin, no - they’re at the door, now, Chanyeol raises his flashlight to see Kris holding his arm, clearly in pain, his dart gun at his feet, which Chanyeol lunges for. Jongin has a bloody gash across his cheek and Minseok is in front of them, firing at a guard, but just as the guard falls, a dart sinks into Minseok’s shoulder and Chanyeol's heart stops - but Kris is yelling for them to move, now, pushing Minseok. Chanyeol nearly trips, but runs, making sure he sees Jongin upright in front of him, and he can hear Kris still yelling.
They make it to the forest, Chanyeol whipping back to see Kris pale, but keeping up. Minseok’s still running in front of Jongin, for some inexplicable reason, held up on both sides by Kyungsoo and Lu Han and Chanyeol runs, smashing his forehead into low-hanging branches and kicking snow everywhere, but presses on. There’s a shout behind him, not Kris - Chanyeol turns around and shoots blindly with his dart gun; he can’t see in the waning moonlight, but the shouts seem to have stopped and he continues running, till he’s sure he won’t be able to make it anymore, till his heart is beating so fast he’s sure it’s on the brink of arrest, when the forest bursts into the grey slush of Water, and still then he knows not to stop, to keep pushing Kris and Jongin deeper into Water, into Minseok’s apartment, and he stumbles on the last step into Minseok’s and falls, choking, onto the floor.
He whips his head up, surveying the room: everyone is panting, but seemingly in one piece, and Minseok - Chanyeol watches with his mouth open as Minseok pulls the dart out of himself, but Minseok smiles and tosses the dart at his feet.
“It hit my collarbone, I’m okay.” Minseok opens his coat. “My coat stopped it.”
Jongin - Jongin smiles first, a split second before Chanyeol turns to him like he knew Chanyeol would and pats his arm reassuringly. “I cut my cheek on the barbed wire at the power plant, it’s fine.”
Kris’s condition is rougher; his arm is possibly broken or fractured from a tussle with a guard at the plant door, so Kyungsoo ties it up with a branch as a tourniquet as well as he can and it seems to ease the pain a little. They have the DNA vials sitting safely in their containers - Lu Han and Kyungsoo had grabbed enough, so though two had broken they’re good to go with nine more. Even Kris drifting off to sleep with the morphine left over from Jongin with his bandaged arm isn’t enough to dampen Chanyeol’s greatly cheered spirits; they’ve made it, by some turn of a miracle, in mostly one piece. It’s half the battle won, enough to get his hopes up.
He knows not to celebrate prematurely, though, and watches as Lu Han and Kyungsoo psych themselves up for tomorrow, reining his smile in. There’ll be loads of time to smile tomorrow, the day after. Jongin squeezes Kyungsoo’s shoulders and tells them not to be nervous. Chanyeol doesn’t doubt that Lu Han and Kyungsoo know their stuff, and they’ve been in and out of the plant enough times to assume that this time will go smoothly as well, but there’s still a bit of worry gnawing at his insides. He’s never been good at handing the reins to someone completely.
Jongin stays up with him that night, not speaking for fear of waking the others, especially Lu Han whose sleep seems most fitful, holding their linked hands up to tap on Chanyeol’s fingers, counting them over and over. Chanyeol’s sure Jongin can’t sleep either, too nervous at the prospect of their freedom, at their success in pulling this off; Jongin keeps worrying at his lip with his teeth.
They wait till it’s almost daybreak, and Chanyeol feels Jongin brush his lips against the shell of his ear, a smudge of hope.
---
Lu Han and Kyungsoo rouse easily, like their sleep had been too interrupted to get any real rest. Lu Han jacknifes out of his blankets to check the DNA vials first, and the two of them force down as much bread as Minseok can get them to eat. They’d thought to administer the vectors back here at Minseok’s, because of Kris, instead of in Lu Han’s Vector apartment like they’d originally planned, and Kyungsoo had thought a quiet escape from Vector would be less harrowing. Chanyeol and Jongin volunteer to walk them to Vector’s border - it’s the only thing they can do.
None of them speak on the way; Chanyeol watches the tips of Kyungsoo’s fingers turn white with their hold on his snow container. Chanyeol searches for the right words to say: rehashing instructions is pointless, since Lu Han and Kyungsoo know what to do, and good luck sounds trite, so it’s a surprise when he finds “be safe” on his lips. Kyungsoo smiles and nods; Lu Han whispers, “trust us,” with a smile. Jongin gives them both a hug, and they’re off.
Jongin’s hand in Chanyeol’s is tense as they make their way back to Minseok’s - neither of them dare to say anything about the future, to think about next week, next month, perhaps even next year, not at this point. They watch as Kris wakes up with a wince and Minseok tightens the tourniquet knot, as the sun rises to turn the snow outside white instead of blue like it had been this morning. Lu Han and Kyungsoo had said to expect them by midday, and Chanyeol feels his heart trip over itself in increasing haste with every minute.
Then it’s over, ironically anticlimactic - Lu Han and Kyungsoo and Yixing are scrambling down the apartment, eyes bright, several syringes cradled in the snow containers in their arms. Chanyeol counts seven and smiles; they’d thought to wait, to come back to the rest first. It’s almost funny, it occurs to Chanyeol, that all of their work for the past two months, the pain and the exertion and the danger boils down into that little syringe, the liquid in it clear as water. Jongin laughs, questioningly, and Lu Han holds out a syringe, a wide grin on his face.
Minseok goes first. He doesn’t react after the injection; nothing happens, but Kyungsoo had said nothing would because their body needs time to make the tyrosine, but they won’t feel anything. The only change is that they are no longer dependent on the chems for survival.
Jongin takes his turn with excitement radiating off his frame; Chanyeol can see he can barely keep his limbs still. It doesn’t seem to hit Chanyeol yet, that they’ve succeeded, that they’re free, that they’ve pulled through and fought for a future of their own. He watches as Kris takes the needle wincing, but his grimace melting into a tight smile, and Kyungsoo quiet as he watches the fluid enter his arm, but beaming.
Yixing goes, then Lu Han, then it’s Chanyeol’s turn. The needle is stiff and foreign in Chanyeol’s arm, but he doesn’t jerk away and watches the liquid in the syringe lower into the needle and traces an imaginary path of the liquid in the vein in his arm with his eyes, trusting this liquid, this needle with his freedom.
There’s a sort of energy thrumming in the room; quiet but electrifying, and Chanyeol catches Jongin’s eye - it’s bright, brimming with excitement, then the rest of them; Kyungsoo has a small smile on his face, contented and validated, Yixing is still looking at his arm, beaming, Lu Han and Minseok are grinning, and Kris’ smile seems to be brighter than his grimace from the pain.
“We made it,” Lu Han whispers, almost in awe, like he can’t believe it either. Minseok laughs, a full one filling them all up.
“No more pills,” Minseok says, grinning at everyone.
“Free from the Paramount,” Kris adds. Chanyeol feels a laugh bubble out of his throat - this is what they’d been working for, to escape from the hold the Paramount has on them, to have the option of living a life at their own mercy. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not much - what are seven people to something as expansive as the Paramount? - and maybe that doesn’t matter, maybe their lives won’t change as drastically as they all secretly hope, but it’s something to hold onto. Something better.
“We could leave the country,” Kyungsoo remarks like he’s talking about the weather, like this is something true and real, not a figment of their dreams. Jongin presses his face in Chanyeol's neck as he gives him a one-armed hug - is that a bit of moisture Chanyeol feels on his neck - and Minseok hugs them all in turn, the pat on Chanyeol's back that Minseok gives him filling his chest with pride so fierce he feels ready to burst.
“We could become filthy rich,” Lu Han jokes, even as he bites his lip, his eyes glittering. “Travel anywhere we want. We could leave.” He hooks his arm through Yixing’s and pulls him in. “And we’re not, you know - alone.” Yixing smiles and looks down, a quiet smile on his lips.
Kris chuckles. “I’ve always wanted to visit the West. Canada.”
“Canada,” Jongin snorts into Chanyeol’s neck.
“You’re boring even in your fantasy life,” Lu Han says, jumping behind Minseok when Kris glares at him, though there’s no venom behind anything. The usual somber silence of the night is punctuated by quiet, sincere laughter and whispered conversations about all the places they can go, the things they can see - “Imagine all the different kinds of food,” Jongin says - and even if none of this works out, Chanyeol thinks they’ll be okay.
It’s not going to get magically easier, but they’ve made it. They can find another precinct and live a quiet life, or leave the country and seek asylum elsewhere - they can do anything they want, and they have all the time in the world to do it.
a/n: i... have no idea how this became so long. originally prompted by this, and if anyone is a geek like me this is roughly how genetic engineering works.
chanyeol-centric, chanyeol/jongin, gen kris/chanyeol, pg-13, general
The state has everyone under metaphorical gunpoint, but when it decides Chanyeol and Jongin are worth less than they cost to keep alive, Chanyeol and Jongin are forced to fight for themselves and their team.
dystopian au inspired by the hunger games and the bourne legacy
previous
Jongin is weak, very weak the next morning, fighting himself to get up, but Lu Han presses him back into the sheets, muttering about the sedative weakening people's constitutions, and Jongin’s track record with the tyrosine deficiency doesn't help. Chanyeol watches as Jongin gets fed one precious pill and falls into fitful sleep. The minutes Jongin spends awake numb Chanyeol’s chest even more than the ones he spends smoothing the wrinkles out of Jongin’s frown as he sleeps, because Jongin is nauseous and rejects food - this is a clear sign of something gone wrong. The edge of Chanyeol’s thumb is nearly raw from his teeth.
It kills Chanyeol inside, that he can’t do anything for Jongin, especially when Jongin breaks into a fever that Kyungsoo has to bring down with constant snow wrapped in a towel on his forehead. Lu Han tries slipping back into Vector to get liquid aspirin from Yixing after an afternoon of Jongin’s fever dipping and peaking erratically, but Yixing only manages to procure a teeny bit - pharmaceuticals are the most strictly controlled substance in the country - and it slips down Jongin’s throat so quick Chanyeol doesn’t think it will make a difference at all. His patience is wearing thin by the minute. He’s got to do something.
Perhaps the tyrosine pills will help; they’re all they’ve had before when Jongin was trembling and limp in Chanyeol’s arms. A touch of Jongin’s burning cheeks is enough to rip Chanyeol apart inside: he bolts out of the bedroom to reach the drawer in the kitchen they keep the chems in, nearly breaking the hinge on the door as he yanks it apart, and is scrabbling at the chems to remove a strip when Kyungsoo’s flinging his arm away so it slams against the counter and Chanyeol’s turned to face Kyungsoo, the strip of chems clattering on the floor. Chanyeol catches Kyungsoo’s eye - Kyungsoo is calm but serious, but he doesn’t care. He picks the strip of chems up.
“What are you doing,” Kyungsoo looks at him with a hard stare. Chanyeol can hear him keep his voice carefully neutral.
“Jongin needs the chems, something,” Chanyeol says and makes to brush past Kyungsoo, but Kyungsoo doesn’t move.
“Jongin doesn’t need the chems. He has a fever, not tyrosine deficiency.” Kyungsoo’s better at keeping his tone cool than Chanyeol is. Chanyeol is nearly seeing red.
“I don’t care,” Chanyeol says, trying to move past Kyungsoo. “He needs something. The chems might help.”
“You can’t,” Kyungsoo pulls the strip of chems out of Chanyeol’s hands. “We can’t go back to Phe HD anytime soon, not with Jongin like this, and the guards there will be on their utmost alert for strangers. We need the chems to last.”
Chanyeol tries snatching the chems back, but Kyungsoo has a death grip on them, and it pisses the hell out of Chanyeol.
“I don’t care,” he yells, making Kris come into the kitchen surprised, but Chanyeol ignores him. “Give him my share, then, all of mine for the next week.”
“No,” Kyungsoo looks at Chanyeol. “We need you at your best for when we hit Phe HD again.”
It feels like all his anger has boiled down to a crystalline substance, popping roughly in his throat, and Chanyeol snaps. Kris rounds the table, now, saying something consolatory, but Chanyeol doesn’t hear anything. He punches Kyungsoo on the mouth.
“Fuck you,” he yells, past caring about the chems, now - he wants someone to blame, someone to make Jongin better again, though he knows the first is himself and he cannot become the second, till he feels Kris wrap his arms around himself; he’s scrabbling, flailing trying to get out of Kris’ grip, and Minseok has his arms around Kyungsoo, now, putting himself between Kyungsoo and Chanyeol.
“Hey, hey, Chanyeol -” Minseok yells, over Chanyeol’s screaming, “Break it up.”
Kris forcibly yanks Chanyeol out of the kitchen; by now Chanyeol’s left with choked sobs, remnants of his anger at himself, barely fighting it anymore, and lets Kris lead him out of the apartment, pushing him so he falls on his knees in the snow. Chanyeol punches at the snow - it’s cold, soft and yielding, a stark contrast to Kyungsoo’s cheek. It burns his knuckles. Chanyeol lets his hand fall to his side, feeling all the fight going out of himself.
Kris sighs heavily, sinking down on the snow next to Chanyeol, putting a tentative hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder. Chanyeol knows he’s being childish, reckless, rash, but he can’t help himself - Jongin in pain is his worst undoing. His tears are scorching on his skin against the winter draught and he tries wiping them away, focusing on calming his jackrabbiting heartbeat. Kris doesn’t say anything, just watches him and keeps that hand on his shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” Chanyeol finally whispers, the sound almost carried away by the gusting wind. Kris chuckles a little.
“I’m sure Kyungsoo understands.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“I know it’s hard,” Kris says, squeezing Chanyeol’s shoulder, “but Jongin will be fine. He just needs a lot of rest and recuperation for his body to rebuild the blood he’s lost.”
“His blood isn’t good.” Chanyeol whispers against his sleeve as he wipes his cheeks dry fiercely.
“He just needs time.” Kris’ voice is calm and soothing, a good salve for Chanyeol’s broken insides. “And for you to not force-feed him tyrosine.”
“I’m sorry.” Chanyeol almost chokes on a half-laugh, half-sob. Kris pats his back.
“Tell that to Kyungsoo in a bit, after Minseok helps him with that cheek. Your knuckles are pretty tough.”
They sit there in the snow, till Chanyeol’s heart is calmer and ridden with guilt, now, and Kris ruffles his hair as they head back into the apartment. Kyungsoo’s sitting on the couch staring straight ahead, still holding snow wrapped in a towel to the corner of his mouth.
“I’m sorry.” Chanyeol can’t meet Kyungsoo’s eyes.
Kyungsoo watches him for a second, then curves the unmarred corner of his mouth up in a small, reluctant smile, looking down. “It’s okay.”
“You were right, Jongin doesn’t -” Chanyeol’s tripping over his own words to find the right thing to say, but Kyungsoo cuts in, his smile a lot more reassuring this time, and reaches a hand out to smooth over Chanyeol’s nervous fist.
“It’s okay,” Kyungsoo nods. “I understand.”
Chanyeol doesn’t know what to say. “Sorry,” he offers finally, looking at his feet. Minseok laughs from the side and pats Chanyeol on the shoulder.
“Kyungsoo got it the first time,” Minseok says and tugs on Chanyeol’s hand. “Jongin’s up, his fever broke.”
No one told Jongin about the brawl, which Chanyeol is a little guilty for, but very thankful, especially when Jongin’s eyes crinkle a little in when he sees Chanyeol. Jongin struggles to sit up, but can down a bit of food this time, and his pulse is less erratic, which makes Chanyeol breathe a lot easier and hold Jongin’s fingers laced in his more tightly than usual.
---
They’re stranded, Minseok reckons for at least the next month till the Paramount starts growing more lax, so Kris, Minseok and Chanyeol head to the forests again to try their luck with hunting while Lu Han and Kyungsoo make another trip down to Vector to pilfer from the market, maybe get some protein pills for Jongin’s weakening muscles if they can find any. No one says anything, but it’s clear that the month’s setback has affected them all and the apartment is now quieter, a resigned sigh buzzing through the air, and it doesn’t get better with Jongin’s constant struggles to get out of bed and start running no matter how much it hurts because he doesn’t want to bring the team down. It’s not your fault, don’t beat yourself up, Kris tells Jongin constantly, but Chanyeol doesn’t miss Jongin’s anger at his own body. Jongin’s frustration translates to some of Chanyeol’s own, and he tries to hide it to not make anything worse - a team is only as buoyant as the cheeriest of the group - but Chanyeol’s never really been a true optimist, anyway, not if he can’t find anything in himself to smile.
The hunting is easier, at least, after that first time, and Chanyeol takes out pigeons easily enough, a rabbit that Minseok cornered and a goose-like bird that was satisfyingly large. Practice makes numbness; by the time they catch the large bird for slaughter Chanyeol’s hands are already steady and deft, and Minseok pats him on the back for a job well done. It hits Chanyeol, when they’re walking back to Minseok’s with their bounty, that perhaps this behavior is rather chilling, but Chanyeol shuts himself up with the argument that he was just doing this to survive. Perhaps survive to continue with a bleak, grey existence not unlike what they’d had before the bombing, but this time is different because he’d gotten his hopes up at the prospect of what they could have if they succeed. You can’t miss what you never had, he thinks, and that’s why his old self was happier.
It also scares him, that he’s mellowed out, now, more conservative and less idealistic - his sanguinity was what he had prided himself on, but there’s no room for him to be so in the face of their reality, not when Jongin is weak and his own mental senses are weaker.
The days drip into one another as they wait; Chanyeol isn’t even sure what day of the week it is, anymore, in Minseok’s apartment completely cut off from the outside world, and even peeking his head out in the cold just shows the same scene; black rubble against white snow and grey ice. Sometimes Chanyeol spends days just staring at the cement floor, feeling his heartbeat resonate in his chest cavity and trying his best to think about nothing, not about the possibility of Jongin’s fever returning, not about the countless ways their final mission in Phe HD could end horribly, not about the ways they could die. The apartment is a lot less hopeful, now, quieter and more sombre with the considerable abatement of Chanyeol’s laughter and Lu Han’s much thinner attempts at mirth. Jongin’s getting better, at least going by Kris and Kyungsoo’s non-expert opinion and Jongin’s gradually lightening grimaces, but it’s weak hope in the stifling apartment, a fizzing spark in a heavy cloud of smoke.
Chanyeol takes the inside of his cheek between his teeth hard, smooths his right thumb over the ragged edge of his left and leaves the apartment one day when Jongin’s particularly frustrated at himself and Minseok and Kyungsoo are stumped for solutions to some of the possible problems they might meet in Phe HD, gulping deep breaths of the cold air even though it tears at his throat because his lungs feel deflated and he just wants to breathe, fill his lungs with air. His cheeks are cold from wetness, but he keeps walking, all the way until the forest border, sinking down onto the fence. He’s too drained to start sobbing.
He’s caught up watching the snowflakes land soundlessly on the low-hanging tree branches with glazed eyes that he doesn’t notice Kris fold himself into the fence next to him for a second, and when he does he’s a little startled. Kris picks up a bit of snow from the ground to compact into a snowball.
“What’s wrong?” It’s soft and understanding, like how Chanyeol has come to know Kris is, but he’s not in the mood to explain anything.
“Nothing,” is his instinctive answer. Kris stops compacting the snowball in the palms of his hands and looks at Chanyeol, eyes knowing.
“It’s not nothing.”
“I’ll be fine,” Chanyeol manages gruffly, trying to stifle the sob in his chest. “Go back in, it’s cold.”
Kris laughs, picking up more snow to add to his snowball. “That’s advice you should take. You didn’t have your pill today?”
Chanyeol realises then that he’d forgotten, an action so routine and instinctive and essential for the last twenty years like his life depended on it. It floors him, that his mind had been so wracked with worry that he’d forgotten, that he begins to wonder if he’s going slightly crazy. Kris holds out a pill in his palm and Chanyeol swallows it quickly, the pill sliding down his throat without even the need for water.
“You know it’s the deficiency talking, right?” Kris tosses the snowball into the snow; it lands with a soft thud and scattering so it goes back to how it had been. “The depression.”
Chanyeol looks down at his lap, then back up. “I’m trying not to think about it.” He knows Kris will catch the second half - I’m not doing very well. Kris picks up more snow.
“Jongin’s getting better,” Kris says, stating a simple fact, not sugar-coated with lies Chanyeol doesn’t need to hear. He doesn’t mention the future, not Jongin will be fine, not we’ll make it, because Chanyeol knows their chances.
“I know,” Chanyeol says quietly. It’s just difficult to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel when you can see it’s a long way to the end. Smiles don’t mean anything, not when he doesn’t feel them inside.
They’re quiet for a long time, Chanyeol trying to find the correct words. “The one time we actually succeeded, when Yixing helped us -” Chanyeol presses his lips together and kicks lightly at the snow beneath him, “that seemed too easy, like everything was going to be a walk in the park.” Chanyeol latches on easily to successes and tries not to dwell on the setbacks, but this also gets your hopes dangerously high, and Chanyeol knows it’s a long way to fall from there.
“It was hard for Yixing.”
This comes as a surprise to Chanyeol - he hadn’t realised. “Yixing agreed so quickly, I didn’t - I thought.....”
Kris chuckles dryly, adding to his snowball. “He’d probably spent all of his time in Lu Han’s apartment after Lu Han followed us back - I didn’t ask, when I went to talk to Lu Han, because I assumed he’d talked to Yixing already and worked something out. But I should have guessed when Yixing didn’t come with us - those two were inseparable, even back when I was still in Vector.
“You know that sort of feeling you had when Jongin was limp on your shoulders? I suppose that must have been what Yixing had felt, except more confused and lost, because he didn’t know where Lu Han was.” Kris says and hands Chanyeol his snowball, nodding at the expanse of snow before them; Chanyeol throws as far as he can so it hits a tree right ahead, smashing into smithereens.
“But Yixing doesn’t hold grudges; he’s never been able to, not against Lu Han,” Kris says quietly as they watch the snow fall. “He wasn’t doing you or Kyungsoo, or even me a favour, as callous as that sounds.”
Chanyeol bends over to make a snowball of his own as Kris takes a deep breath and releases it slowly, measuredly. “What I’m trying to say is,” Kris pats Chanyeol on the knee, “it’s not going to be easy, you know that. But that’s what a team is for - to split the burdens, cover for each other. Sometimes someone will be there to shoulder the difficult things.”
Chanyeol thinks about this, about the idea of a team, people besides Jongin to share his heart with, about the ice that is sturdy and unbreakable when snow compacts together, about the bird they’d caught this morning that had lagged behind in the flock, for a long time, till his face is numb from the cold and his teeth are chattering and he feels the chill in his bones. Kris has his shoulders hunched up to cover most of his mouth.
He thinks about Minseok, who is good at making sure no one is left behind; about Kyungsoo, who thinks of everything so they won’t be flustered when things don’t go according to plan; about Kris, who keeps dragging Chanyeol up by the collar so he doesn’t drown; about Jongin, who fights six times as hard for the rest; about Lu Han, who is resourceful and is good at smoothing rough edges of reality rounded so they breathe easier; about Yixing, who would throw himself into fire for a friend; about himself, who isn’t afraid to fight for what they want. About no one telling Jongin about the fight he’d had with Kyungsoo, about Kyungsoo’s warm hand on his balled-up fist, about Minseok’s hand on the back of his collar in the alley, about Jongin’s arm in his side, about Lu Han’s laugh ringing in the apartment, about Kris sitting with him in the cold and refusing to let him get hollowed out, to let him lose the fire in his eyes, and he thinks he gets it.
The spit in the back of his throat slips down easier when he swallows and smiles, genuinely this time, at Kris, and nods.
“Thanks,” Chanyeol tries to move to engulf Kris in a sort of hug but ends up falling off the fence instead, landing in the snow, surprising a laugh out of both him and Kris. Kris pulls him to his feet as they both stand up on Water’s side of the fence and head back, and Chanyeol thinks that light at the end of the tunnel seems a little brighter.
---
It gets better. Lu Han and Minseok make trips to the border of Phe HD to survey the situation and report that the guards seem less numerous and less attentive by the week. Jongin’s nearly all better, now, especially with the original tyrosine schedule Chanyeol has him on with more pills stolen from Vector’s stockhouse and a bit of morphine that Kyungsoo brought from Vector. Everyone seems reenergized now that their goal is getting nearer and their plans are rehashed down to the very last detail, over and over.
Their plan: Kris, Minseok and Jongin pull the power on Phe HD when everyone’s asleep; Chanyeol slips into the plant with Lu Han and Kyungsoo who grab enough DNA vials for all seven of them, back to the forests, and wait till the morning for Lu Han and Kyungsoo to slip back into the plant amidst the crowd to insert the DNA into the vector. The presence of a dart gun of their own encourages Chanyeol a little - the one that Jongin had thought to grab from the guard in Phe HD and Minseok had picked up - none of them are great marksmen, but it’s still a weapon; they’re no longer only on defence. If all goes well (Chanyeol has his fingers crossed), they should have the readied vector in four days.
Friday is their ultimatum.
Lu Han decides it’s circumstance for a snowball fight when they’re all walking back from their last trip to scope Phe HD out, landing one snowball each on Chanyeol’s and Minseok’s back, and chaos breaks: Chanyeol heads over to wrestle Lu Han into the snow, Minseok retaliates with a well-packed snowball but hits Kris in the face, who sputters and tries shaking the snow off his face, Kyungsoo gets snow dumped into his coat by Jongin, and soon they’re all rolling in the snow, laughing and yelling, Kris’ bellows sounding loud and clear over the cacophony. They’re panting, rolling on their backs to lay in the snow, and Chanyeol’s toes are freezing, but he doesn’t want to move, his body close enough to Lu Han’s and Minseok’s for warmth, and notices that the sky is especially dotted with stars that evening, each linked to another with imaginary lines to form constellations.
---
Friday is a day that seems almost like any other outside in the snow, but Chanyeol’s nearly thrumming with sheer energy and restlessness in the morning, checking and rechecking the safety on the dart gun - they’d decided Minseok would have the best chances with it, checking and rechecking his screwdriver in his pocket, checking and rechecking the clasp on the container Kyungsoo had brought from Vector’s plant to fill with snow to hold the DNA vials. They’re not up to their last pills yet, but this is probably the only shot they have. None of them will let this fuck up in their faces.
It’s quiet in the forests during sunset when they make their way to Phe HD’s border, their boots crunching in the snow. Chanyeol fights to calm his heart; he’s more anticipatory than nervous, adrenaline coursing through his veins as he runs through the plans in his head again. The familiar alley that leads to the back door of the plant looms ahead beyond the well-used path in the forests a little too quickly. Jongin squeezes his fingers. Chanyeol swallows and nods, he’s okay.
“We’ll be at the back door the minute we trip the power,” Kris whispers, “remember, we’ll be here to get your back. Minseok’s got the dart gun. We’ll make it.”
Lu Han nods, his lips pressed together in steely conviction. Kyungsoo’s eyes are sharp. Chanyeol forces his heart back down his throat. He can almost feel his veins vibrating with tension.
There’s an almost imperceptible hitch of breath from someone - Chanyeol looks up in time to see a guard fall to the floor limply from Minseok’s raised gun, and almost too suddenly, Minseok is throwing Kris and Jongin into the alley, whispering for them to hurry - they don’t have much time, if someone comes to look for this guard. Chanyeol has barely time to whisper, be safe, before Jongin’s back disappears round the corner.
A minute, or two, maybe five, pass, when suddenly it’s too dark to see; there are shouts from further inside Phe HD, bellows and squeals of surprise as the precinct is thrown into darkness; Lu Han is hustling Chanyeol and Kyungsoo through the trees, into the alley - Chanyeol runs, his pupils still trying to adjust to the change in light, his heart exploding, to the door, holding Minseok’s flashlight to the security scanner so he can dismantle it and force the doors open - the shouts are still going on, but he doesn’t breathe, focuses on the screws, the last one - and the doors are open, Lu Han and Kyungsoo sprinting into the pitch dark of the deserted plant. Chanyeol hesitates for a moment, looking at the fallen guard, then darts out to grab his gun and backpedals into the plant, raising it when a figure appears at the door - but he realises it’s Kris. Chanyeol slides the gun towards Kris and takes off after Lu Han, who’s made it up the metal stairs to a room with huge fridges.
Kyungsoo and Lu Han are rifling through the industrial-size fridges, but nothing seems to come up; Chanyeol seems to hear the sounds of a tussle at the door of the plant but forces himself to focus, yanking doors apart to watch frosted tubes clatter to the floor, but there’s nothing labeled Phe HD that he can see.
Lu Han and Kyungsoo abandon the room for the next, Chanyeol holding his flashlight up so they have a source of light, but there’s nothing in there; Kyungsoo nearly trips over the rolling tubes slippery on the floor, but Chanyeol catches him and they head to the third room with more fridges. The shouts downstairs are getting louder, now, is that Jongin he hears - but Chanyeol forces himself to focus on searching, and it’s a heart-stopping moment when Lu Han yells - “I’ve got it, here” - jamming a handful of vials into his container of snow and Kyungsoo grabs some, too, in his.
They head out, hammering down the stairs, and Chanyeol is moving too fast to see what is going on at the door; everything is happening much too fast, his heart is threatening to fling itself out of his chest, not Jongin, no - they’re at the door, now, Chanyeol raises his flashlight to see Kris holding his arm, clearly in pain, his dart gun at his feet, which Chanyeol lunges for. Jongin has a bloody gash across his cheek and Minseok is in front of them, firing at a guard, but just as the guard falls, a dart sinks into Minseok’s shoulder and Chanyeol's heart stops - but Kris is yelling for them to move, now, pushing Minseok. Chanyeol nearly trips, but runs, making sure he sees Jongin upright in front of him, and he can hear Kris still yelling.
They make it to the forest, Chanyeol whipping back to see Kris pale, but keeping up. Minseok’s still running in front of Jongin, for some inexplicable reason, held up on both sides by Kyungsoo and Lu Han and Chanyeol runs, smashing his forehead into low-hanging branches and kicking snow everywhere, but presses on. There’s a shout behind him, not Kris - Chanyeol turns around and shoots blindly with his dart gun; he can’t see in the waning moonlight, but the shouts seem to have stopped and he continues running, till he’s sure he won’t be able to make it anymore, till his heart is beating so fast he’s sure it’s on the brink of arrest, when the forest bursts into the grey slush of Water, and still then he knows not to stop, to keep pushing Kris and Jongin deeper into Water, into Minseok’s apartment, and he stumbles on the last step into Minseok’s and falls, choking, onto the floor.
He whips his head up, surveying the room: everyone is panting, but seemingly in one piece, and Minseok - Chanyeol watches with his mouth open as Minseok pulls the dart out of himself, but Minseok smiles and tosses the dart at his feet.
“It hit my collarbone, I’m okay.” Minseok opens his coat. “My coat stopped it.”
Jongin - Jongin smiles first, a split second before Chanyeol turns to him like he knew Chanyeol would and pats his arm reassuringly. “I cut my cheek on the barbed wire at the power plant, it’s fine.”
Kris’s condition is rougher; his arm is possibly broken or fractured from a tussle with a guard at the plant door, so Kyungsoo ties it up with a branch as a tourniquet as well as he can and it seems to ease the pain a little. They have the DNA vials sitting safely in their containers - Lu Han and Kyungsoo had grabbed enough, so though two had broken they’re good to go with nine more. Even Kris drifting off to sleep with the morphine left over from Jongin with his bandaged arm isn’t enough to dampen Chanyeol’s greatly cheered spirits; they’ve made it, by some turn of a miracle, in mostly one piece. It’s half the battle won, enough to get his hopes up.
He knows not to celebrate prematurely, though, and watches as Lu Han and Kyungsoo psych themselves up for tomorrow, reining his smile in. There’ll be loads of time to smile tomorrow, the day after. Jongin squeezes Kyungsoo’s shoulders and tells them not to be nervous. Chanyeol doesn’t doubt that Lu Han and Kyungsoo know their stuff, and they’ve been in and out of the plant enough times to assume that this time will go smoothly as well, but there’s still a bit of worry gnawing at his insides. He’s never been good at handing the reins to someone completely.
Jongin stays up with him that night, not speaking for fear of waking the others, especially Lu Han whose sleep seems most fitful, holding their linked hands up to tap on Chanyeol’s fingers, counting them over and over. Chanyeol’s sure Jongin can’t sleep either, too nervous at the prospect of their freedom, at their success in pulling this off; Jongin keeps worrying at his lip with his teeth.
They wait till it’s almost daybreak, and Chanyeol feels Jongin brush his lips against the shell of his ear, a smudge of hope.
---
Lu Han and Kyungsoo rouse easily, like their sleep had been too interrupted to get any real rest. Lu Han jacknifes out of his blankets to check the DNA vials first, and the two of them force down as much bread as Minseok can get them to eat. They’d thought to administer the vectors back here at Minseok’s, because of Kris, instead of in Lu Han’s Vector apartment like they’d originally planned, and Kyungsoo had thought a quiet escape from Vector would be less harrowing. Chanyeol and Jongin volunteer to walk them to Vector’s border - it’s the only thing they can do.
None of them speak on the way; Chanyeol watches the tips of Kyungsoo’s fingers turn white with their hold on his snow container. Chanyeol searches for the right words to say: rehashing instructions is pointless, since Lu Han and Kyungsoo know what to do, and good luck sounds trite, so it’s a surprise when he finds “be safe” on his lips. Kyungsoo smiles and nods; Lu Han whispers, “trust us,” with a smile. Jongin gives them both a hug, and they’re off.
Jongin’s hand in Chanyeol’s is tense as they make their way back to Minseok’s - neither of them dare to say anything about the future, to think about next week, next month, perhaps even next year, not at this point. They watch as Kris wakes up with a wince and Minseok tightens the tourniquet knot, as the sun rises to turn the snow outside white instead of blue like it had been this morning. Lu Han and Kyungsoo had said to expect them by midday, and Chanyeol feels his heart trip over itself in increasing haste with every minute.
Then it’s over, ironically anticlimactic - Lu Han and Kyungsoo and Yixing are scrambling down the apartment, eyes bright, several syringes cradled in the snow containers in their arms. Chanyeol counts seven and smiles; they’d thought to wait, to come back to the rest first. It’s almost funny, it occurs to Chanyeol, that all of their work for the past two months, the pain and the exertion and the danger boils down into that little syringe, the liquid in it clear as water. Jongin laughs, questioningly, and Lu Han holds out a syringe, a wide grin on his face.
Minseok goes first. He doesn’t react after the injection; nothing happens, but Kyungsoo had said nothing would because their body needs time to make the tyrosine, but they won’t feel anything. The only change is that they are no longer dependent on the chems for survival.
Jongin takes his turn with excitement radiating off his frame; Chanyeol can see he can barely keep his limbs still. It doesn’t seem to hit Chanyeol yet, that they’ve succeeded, that they’re free, that they’ve pulled through and fought for a future of their own. He watches as Kris takes the needle wincing, but his grimace melting into a tight smile, and Kyungsoo quiet as he watches the fluid enter his arm, but beaming.
Yixing goes, then Lu Han, then it’s Chanyeol’s turn. The needle is stiff and foreign in Chanyeol’s arm, but he doesn’t jerk away and watches the liquid in the syringe lower into the needle and traces an imaginary path of the liquid in the vein in his arm with his eyes, trusting this liquid, this needle with his freedom.
There’s a sort of energy thrumming in the room; quiet but electrifying, and Chanyeol catches Jongin’s eye - it’s bright, brimming with excitement, then the rest of them; Kyungsoo has a small smile on his face, contented and validated, Yixing is still looking at his arm, beaming, Lu Han and Minseok are grinning, and Kris’ smile seems to be brighter than his grimace from the pain.
“We made it,” Lu Han whispers, almost in awe, like he can’t believe it either. Minseok laughs, a full one filling them all up.
“No more pills,” Minseok says, grinning at everyone.
“Free from the Paramount,” Kris adds. Chanyeol feels a laugh bubble out of his throat - this is what they’d been working for, to escape from the hold the Paramount has on them, to have the option of living a life at their own mercy. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not much - what are seven people to something as expansive as the Paramount? - and maybe that doesn’t matter, maybe their lives won’t change as drastically as they all secretly hope, but it’s something to hold onto. Something better.
“We could leave the country,” Kyungsoo remarks like he’s talking about the weather, like this is something true and real, not a figment of their dreams. Jongin presses his face in Chanyeol's neck as he gives him a one-armed hug - is that a bit of moisture Chanyeol feels on his neck - and Minseok hugs them all in turn, the pat on Chanyeol's back that Minseok gives him filling his chest with pride so fierce he feels ready to burst.
“We could become filthy rich,” Lu Han jokes, even as he bites his lip, his eyes glittering. “Travel anywhere we want. We could leave.” He hooks his arm through Yixing’s and pulls him in. “And we’re not, you know - alone.” Yixing smiles and looks down, a quiet smile on his lips.
Kris chuckles. “I’ve always wanted to visit the West. Canada.”
“Canada,” Jongin snorts into Chanyeol’s neck.
“You’re boring even in your fantasy life,” Lu Han says, jumping behind Minseok when Kris glares at him, though there’s no venom behind anything. The usual somber silence of the night is punctuated by quiet, sincere laughter and whispered conversations about all the places they can go, the things they can see - “Imagine all the different kinds of food,” Jongin says - and even if none of this works out, Chanyeol thinks they’ll be okay.
It’s not going to get magically easier, but they’ve made it. They can find another precinct and live a quiet life, or leave the country and seek asylum elsewhere - they can do anything they want, and they have all the time in the world to do it.
a/n: i... have no idea how this became so long. originally prompted by this, and if anyone is a geek like me this is roughly how genetic engineering works.
