You're probably not interested but I might forget.
What a freaking crazy weekend. I'm still trying to figure out if I feel normal again. I don't remember much of Friday night and Saturday morning.
What do I remember?
I remember smoking way too many cigarettes. (Kenny claims I smoked 3 packs but that's impossible...I would have gotten sick!) I remember looking at the sky and seeing galaxies and then shaking my head at myself. I remember going into Jared's garage without any light and getting lost standing still. I took a couple steps into the darkness, reached around, wondered if I went through the right the door, and then forgot where I was. The darkness heightened my hallucinations so it took me a few minutes to realize that the lights were windows. I managed to find the door and went outside claiming "Fuck that! Someone else get me straws please!" Give me a break; Chrissy (Jared's girlfriend) did the same thing while on her way to the bathroom. Kenny did too, now that I think about it. Kenny went upstairs to Jared's room, forgot why he was there in the first place, imagined there being like 5 doors and forgot which one was the exit. He fell on the bed and couldn't move because he was so afraid. Janelle and Chrissy finally came in and rescued him and when he asked them where they were they said "Getting stuff." and he replied "Why you always got to talk about stuff!?" and left. Hahaha. I definitely won't be taking as much next time, but I don't remember taking the third one, it was a snap decision. Taking three makes you feel like you've lost your mind. You don't even feel like a person, and everyone else is just a caricature of themselves. Everyone worried because when you looked at people's faces, they looked worried or scared. We smoked a blunt on the trampoline (which felt like a freaking hike but the next morning we found out it was only about 25 yards away) and we lost it half way through. We found it the next morning.
I was talking to Chelz on the phone and I think it was for a while, but no one ever feels like talking when you’re messed up, so after a while I said out loud, "Oh, I thought I was listening to your ring tone." and then I hung up. Everyone laughed because it didn't make any sense whatsoever. I left about 4 in the morning, feeling sober enough to drive down the street. I got home and had to stand and listen to my Mom moan and groan about my obnoxious brother.
The scariest moments were probably when we did elevators, which always scare me. I had to spot Kenny and Trevor. They get up and Janelle will hold her fingers against their throat, and then she releases them and they will just blow out all the smoke and kind of sway back and forth while they get through the head rush. Michael always scares me because the first time I saw him do it, he freaking passed out, he just went limp and fell and shook a little and then he was fine. Michael didn’t pass out this time but Janelle thought he was having a seizure for a moment but he spoke up and said he was just trying not to fall. I won't ever do that. I asked what it was like and Trevor said you forget that you are standing and you can’t feel the ground beneath your feet, but it helps to look at your feet so you don’t just fall back. I don't like having to depend on other people and I’m afraid I might not be able to handle it.
So I've learned plenty of lessons this weekend. I've learned my limit, which I will never cross again. Otherwise, I probably won't be doing this again for another couple months or so.
What do I remember?
I remember smoking way too many cigarettes. (Kenny claims I smoked 3 packs but that's impossible...I would have gotten sick!) I remember looking at the sky and seeing galaxies and then shaking my head at myself. I remember going into Jared's garage without any light and getting lost standing still. I took a couple steps into the darkness, reached around, wondered if I went through the right the door, and then forgot where I was. The darkness heightened my hallucinations so it took me a few minutes to realize that the lights were windows. I managed to find the door and went outside claiming "Fuck that! Someone else get me straws please!" Give me a break; Chrissy (Jared's girlfriend) did the same thing while on her way to the bathroom. Kenny did too, now that I think about it. Kenny went upstairs to Jared's room, forgot why he was there in the first place, imagined there being like 5 doors and forgot which one was the exit. He fell on the bed and couldn't move because he was so afraid. Janelle and Chrissy finally came in and rescued him and when he asked them where they were they said "Getting stuff." and he replied "Why you always got to talk about stuff!?" and left. Hahaha. I definitely won't be taking as much next time, but I don't remember taking the third one, it was a snap decision. Taking three makes you feel like you've lost your mind. You don't even feel like a person, and everyone else is just a caricature of themselves. Everyone worried because when you looked at people's faces, they looked worried or scared. We smoked a blunt on the trampoline (which felt like a freaking hike but the next morning we found out it was only about 25 yards away) and we lost it half way through. We found it the next morning.
I was talking to Chelz on the phone and I think it was for a while, but no one ever feels like talking when you’re messed up, so after a while I said out loud, "Oh, I thought I was listening to your ring tone." and then I hung up. Everyone laughed because it didn't make any sense whatsoever. I left about 4 in the morning, feeling sober enough to drive down the street. I got home and had to stand and listen to my Mom moan and groan about my obnoxious brother.
The scariest moments were probably when we did elevators, which always scare me. I had to spot Kenny and Trevor. They get up and Janelle will hold her fingers against their throat, and then she releases them and they will just blow out all the smoke and kind of sway back and forth while they get through the head rush. Michael always scares me because the first time I saw him do it, he freaking passed out, he just went limp and fell and shook a little and then he was fine. Michael didn’t pass out this time but Janelle thought he was having a seizure for a moment but he spoke up and said he was just trying not to fall. I won't ever do that. I asked what it was like and Trevor said you forget that you are standing and you can’t feel the ground beneath your feet, but it helps to look at your feet so you don’t just fall back. I don't like having to depend on other people and I’m afraid I might not be able to handle it.
So I've learned plenty of lessons this weekend. I've learned my limit, which I will never cross again. Otherwise, I probably won't be doing this again for another couple months or so.