This weekend I stabbed myself in the finger with a knife while trying to cut the cheese. That's actual cutting of actual cheese, by the way, not farting. I can't even begin to imagine what kind of gas you would need to have in order to be able to stab yourself in the finger.

I had invited the girls over to continue planning the shower for anniewaits' ( Read more... )

Obviously, I can be paranoid sometimes. 95% of the time, my paranoia takes the form of hypochondria and I lay awake nights waiting for the inevitable knock of the Grim Reaper on my door. Well, I suppose the Grim Reaper probably doesn't knock. He's Death, he can just walk right in. But I'm getting off topic.

The 5% of the time I am not paranoid ( Read more... )