oi...im freaking out, this is for me, not for fucking you!!!!!!!
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck......
i hate fighting i hate fighting i hate arguing i hate bringing anything up that i should just let go but i can't i just want to be everything i want to be anything that im sory for everything i wish i was a fucking object so then nothing i did would ever hurt cause that only things that would happen to me are things that other people would do just to hold me and that's fucking it im losing my confidence again but it's ok cause it's gonna blow over like it always fucking does and no one is here right now and i just want my mind to be empty and i want to be able to detatch as easily as he does but can't i can't i can't and i always think he's gonna leave, but that's my fault i guess cause i made me dad leave so i think everyone of the opposite sex is gonna be the same way and i just need to understand that fucking american concept of needing space but it just hurts me cause im hurting myself it's not his fault, i love you i love you please im trying and i can do better and i will do better im doing better right now but i work differently than you and when you saw me you said what the hell and got up and were about to walk away you said you were going to bens house and you just went back but you didn't have to lie maybe you just changed your mind but i don't know no one was home no one was home we could have stayed but you need your space and im trying to understand and im trying not to be scared but it's hard it's hard for me sometimes i can't handle there being any space between us and i hope that's ok and i never ever ever fuckig want you to feel like when you're with me that you'd rather be someplace else ever ok because there's just this thing i have and i want you to be happy becuase you're with me and i don't want to get tired of me and that's honestly my worst fucking fear so here i am pathetic as always freaking out when really i should just cihll and let you cool off or whatever you're doing as long as it feels right people were asking for your number and i want to know why ok i just want to know why you probably don't know but im fucking sory ok im jealous and im beautiful at the same time i know you're not gonna fuck up again not liek before i know you're different and i want to be different too you're so wonderful and i need to stop writing i need to calm the fuck down and make breakfast for wendy cause she ahs alot of shit tog et done today and i need to call elise and beg her to come here and hope that she can and just chill my mom is in ann arbor she spent the night there and no one's gonna be here when wendy leaves and i just don't like being alone ok i don't like being alone and im sory that sometimes you're just the only one around anmd you're the person i would put in front of anyone else ok so that's it alright im gonna be fine and maybe i'll just call my dad and try and figure shit out but he thinks i should be in jail but he should be there too fucker
im fuckin done, im sry, whatever, this is for me to feel better, not to be used against fucking me, so im fucking sory
i hate fighting i hate fighting i hate arguing i hate bringing anything up that i should just let go but i can't i just want to be everything i want to be anything that im sory for everything i wish i was a fucking object so then nothing i did would ever hurt cause that only things that would happen to me are things that other people would do just to hold me and that's fucking it im losing my confidence again but it's ok cause it's gonna blow over like it always fucking does and no one is here right now and i just want my mind to be empty and i want to be able to detatch as easily as he does but can't i can't i can't and i always think he's gonna leave, but that's my fault i guess cause i made me dad leave so i think everyone of the opposite sex is gonna be the same way and i just need to understand that fucking american concept of needing space but it just hurts me cause im hurting myself it's not his fault, i love you i love you please im trying and i can do better and i will do better im doing better right now but i work differently than you and when you saw me you said what the hell and got up and were about to walk away you said you were going to bens house and you just went back but you didn't have to lie maybe you just changed your mind but i don't know no one was home no one was home we could have stayed but you need your space and im trying to understand and im trying not to be scared but it's hard it's hard for me sometimes i can't handle there being any space between us and i hope that's ok and i never ever ever fuckig want you to feel like when you're with me that you'd rather be someplace else ever ok because there's just this thing i have and i want you to be happy becuase you're with me and i don't want to get tired of me and that's honestly my worst fucking fear so here i am pathetic as always freaking out when really i should just cihll and let you cool off or whatever you're doing as long as it feels right people were asking for your number and i want to know why ok i just want to know why you probably don't know but im fucking sory ok im jealous and im beautiful at the same time i know you're not gonna fuck up again not liek before i know you're different and i want to be different too you're so wonderful and i need to stop writing i need to calm the fuck down and make breakfast for wendy cause she ahs alot of shit tog et done today and i need to call elise and beg her to come here and hope that she can and just chill my mom is in ann arbor she spent the night there and no one's gonna be here when wendy leaves and i just don't like being alone ok i don't like being alone and im sory that sometimes you're just the only one around anmd you're the person i would put in front of anyone else ok so that's it alright im gonna be fine and maybe i'll just call my dad and try and figure shit out but he thinks i should be in jail but he should be there too fucker
im fuckin done, im sry, whatever, this is for me to feel better, not to be used against fucking me, so im fucking sory