Crappy day leads to..YAY Plot Bunnies!!!
OK so yeah I had a REALLY bad day today....Retail work SUCKS especially during a recession. Not gonna go into details, trying to forget about it and concentrate on the weekend, two days of Wal-mart free bliss.
So when I came home I decided I was going to cap all the Roomie related parts of season 15.
(You can find them Here and Here) And as I was capping episode 5 "Haunted", the end scene gave me a wicked idea for a new serial fic which I got to work on right away.
Title: Burning Bright Part 1
Author: jensucks
Rating: FRT For Violence & Language
Disclaimer: I don't Own anything...they probably wouldn't WANT me to own them in any way.... heh
Spoilers: Up to 15x5: "Haunted"
Content Warning: Violence, cursing, main character in peril...my usual fic-y goodness....please don't hate me.
Burning Bright
Part 1
“You could stay here…instead of driving to the hotel….”
“I’m in a good place. You seem to be good too so….I’m gonna go.”
The words echoed in my brain over and over as he sped away into the night, hot tears pouring down my cheeks, unable to look away from the window even as his tail lights faded into the dark night. I didn’t blame him for bailing, and I didn’t blame Simon for showing up in the middle of the night. I knew the only person the blame could be thrown onto here was myself.
The entire time I had known him, even before I had realized how I felt about him or even how he felt about me, I always seemed to have a knack for not having enough time for him, for always being distracted with my own life, my own inner workings to even think about his, about the possibility of us sharing any of that someday.
I bring my hands to my face, sobbing loudly and uncontrollably now. All I ever did was muck things up my entire life, not just with Ray but with everyone. I stayed inside my own head, my own little bubble where my books and studies were all to keep me company. I drove Michael back to Iraq, I drove Ray to get drunk that night, to lose his legs and now, I have drove him right out of my arms. Hell, I drove Simon away without even giving him half a chance.
Why couldn’t I let myself be happy? Why did I continue to do things that led to this moment? Me alone in my dark apartment with my books, and my loneliness no one to talk to, no one to hold me. I inhale sharply, finally able to get some sort of control over myself, finally able to rise from my seat at the window, unable to think of anything other than my predicament, the prison I had built for myself through actions I had taken my entire life.
I head to the bathroom, my mind swimming now, lost inside itself. I wanted it all to stop, wanted to make it go away. I remembered what he had said…Vicodin…it would be easy.
I opened my medicine cabinet only to find nothing stronger than Tylenol 2s. “Bloody hell!” I curse out loud, slamming the cabinet shut, causing the thin tempered glass to shatter upon impact with the wall, tiny shards falling into the sink, bouncing off the sink and onto the floor. I stare down at the pieces in the sink, staring at my own jagged reflection, my teary makeup streaked face and suddenly I was filled with hate, disgust. With a small growl, I grab the biggest piece in the sink, slashing it across my left arm without even a moment’s pause, and following suit with the other side.
I fall to the ground again as the tears begin to flow along with blood from the newly formed gashes in my arms. It’s not too long before I begin to feel dizzy and light headed, weak like I had always seen myself. It would be over soon, I wouldn’t be around to hurt anyone else….
“Hey Neela I forgot my….” I hear his voice through my living room but I am unable to answer him, too tired to even hold my head up, it droops to my chest. “Neela?” he calls again, I can hear it getting closer but am still too weak to form any kind of reaction, let alone a thought about it.
“Neela what…” he enters the bathroom, stopping when he sees me, his eyes going wide, his face curving into that shocked face I used to find so adorable. He rushes to my side as quickly as he could, grabbing for a towel off the wall. It took him a bit longer than it would a normal person, but it still felt to me like he sped down beside me, wrapping my arms tightly before reaching into his pocket and retrieving a cell phone.
“Hi this is Doctor Ray Barnett.” He says into the phone “I need a bus over at…”
His voice begins to fade, my eyes droop closed and for a minute, I couldn’t help but think this was it. I found myself glad that his face was the last I would ever see, a small comfort for someone who deserves a hell of a lot less.
“Neela no!” he calls loudly, shaking me back into somewhat consciousness “Don’t leave me…” he says softly as my eyes reopen to see his cute shocked face now transformed into his cute worry face….hell there wasn’t really any face that he could make that I didn’t find adorable. How could I have hurt him so?
“NO!” He slaps me hard, jarring me back as I had begun to slip again. “Don’t you leave me Neela! Stay, fight…your better than this! You hear me? You can’t go not like this….”
I want to speak, I want to tell him I’m sorry for everything I have ever done to him, I want to tell him all that stuff about being glad he was the last face but I can barely manage a groan.
He leans forward to kiss my forehead lightly “Common Neela…” he was crying now, tears streaking down those perfect cheeks “Fight this….for me.”
His words hit me, and I find myself suddenly filled with the need to do as he asked, the need to fight, the need to reverse my stupid choice….
Oh god, what had I done?
As always, comments are my crack and are rewarded with delicious cookie goodness. :D
So when I came home I decided I was going to cap all the Roomie related parts of season 15.
(You can find them Here and Here) And as I was capping episode 5 "Haunted", the end scene gave me a wicked idea for a new serial fic which I got to work on right away.
Title: Burning Bright Part 1
Author: jensucks
Rating: FRT For Violence & Language
Disclaimer: I don't Own anything...they probably wouldn't WANT me to own them in any way.... heh
Spoilers: Up to 15x5: "Haunted"
Content Warning: Violence, cursing, main character in peril...my usual fic-y goodness....please don't hate me.
Burning Bright
Part 1
“You could stay here…instead of driving to the hotel….”
“I’m in a good place. You seem to be good too so….I’m gonna go.”
The words echoed in my brain over and over as he sped away into the night, hot tears pouring down my cheeks, unable to look away from the window even as his tail lights faded into the dark night. I didn’t blame him for bailing, and I didn’t blame Simon for showing up in the middle of the night. I knew the only person the blame could be thrown onto here was myself.
The entire time I had known him, even before I had realized how I felt about him or even how he felt about me, I always seemed to have a knack for not having enough time for him, for always being distracted with my own life, my own inner workings to even think about his, about the possibility of us sharing any of that someday.
I bring my hands to my face, sobbing loudly and uncontrollably now. All I ever did was muck things up my entire life, not just with Ray but with everyone. I stayed inside my own head, my own little bubble where my books and studies were all to keep me company. I drove Michael back to Iraq, I drove Ray to get drunk that night, to lose his legs and now, I have drove him right out of my arms. Hell, I drove Simon away without even giving him half a chance.
Why couldn’t I let myself be happy? Why did I continue to do things that led to this moment? Me alone in my dark apartment with my books, and my loneliness no one to talk to, no one to hold me. I inhale sharply, finally able to get some sort of control over myself, finally able to rise from my seat at the window, unable to think of anything other than my predicament, the prison I had built for myself through actions I had taken my entire life.
I head to the bathroom, my mind swimming now, lost inside itself. I wanted it all to stop, wanted to make it go away. I remembered what he had said…Vicodin…it would be easy.
I opened my medicine cabinet only to find nothing stronger than Tylenol 2s. “Bloody hell!” I curse out loud, slamming the cabinet shut, causing the thin tempered glass to shatter upon impact with the wall, tiny shards falling into the sink, bouncing off the sink and onto the floor. I stare down at the pieces in the sink, staring at my own jagged reflection, my teary makeup streaked face and suddenly I was filled with hate, disgust. With a small growl, I grab the biggest piece in the sink, slashing it across my left arm without even a moment’s pause, and following suit with the other side.
I fall to the ground again as the tears begin to flow along with blood from the newly formed gashes in my arms. It’s not too long before I begin to feel dizzy and light headed, weak like I had always seen myself. It would be over soon, I wouldn’t be around to hurt anyone else….
“Hey Neela I forgot my….” I hear his voice through my living room but I am unable to answer him, too tired to even hold my head up, it droops to my chest. “Neela?” he calls again, I can hear it getting closer but am still too weak to form any kind of reaction, let alone a thought about it.
“Neela what…” he enters the bathroom, stopping when he sees me, his eyes going wide, his face curving into that shocked face I used to find so adorable. He rushes to my side as quickly as he could, grabbing for a towel off the wall. It took him a bit longer than it would a normal person, but it still felt to me like he sped down beside me, wrapping my arms tightly before reaching into his pocket and retrieving a cell phone.
“Hi this is Doctor Ray Barnett.” He says into the phone “I need a bus over at…”
His voice begins to fade, my eyes droop closed and for a minute, I couldn’t help but think this was it. I found myself glad that his face was the last I would ever see, a small comfort for someone who deserves a hell of a lot less.
“Neela no!” he calls loudly, shaking me back into somewhat consciousness “Don’t leave me…” he says softly as my eyes reopen to see his cute shocked face now transformed into his cute worry face….hell there wasn’t really any face that he could make that I didn’t find adorable. How could I have hurt him so?
“NO!” He slaps me hard, jarring me back as I had begun to slip again. “Don’t you leave me Neela! Stay, fight…your better than this! You hear me? You can’t go not like this….”
I want to speak, I want to tell him I’m sorry for everything I have ever done to him, I want to tell him all that stuff about being glad he was the last face but I can barely manage a groan.
He leans forward to kiss my forehead lightly “Common Neela…” he was crying now, tears streaking down those perfect cheeks “Fight this….for me.”
His words hit me, and I find myself suddenly filled with the need to do as he asked, the need to fight, the need to reverse my stupid choice….
Oh god, what had I done?
As always, comments are my crack and are rewarded with delicious cookie goodness. :D