(no subject)
I yelled today. It's not really the first time I yelled at her, but it's the longest I've ever yelled at her. It kept coming back.
The look on her face. I knew what she was thinking. I've felt that way many times before.
He came home earlier today. I got more time to myself.
I lost myself today. I lost what it meant to be me and I was overwhelmed with mothering.
With baby 2 on the way, I need to be more careful. I can't lose myself again. But if I do, at least I set the stage for it. I explained to her what was going on in my head and everything. She understood. I know.
I miss teaching. I miss mentoring women. I miss being a helper and guide. As a wife and mom, I'm doing all these things, I know, but it's not the same. I'm no longer talking to women my age. Yes, the child-like wonder, I love, but sometimes I want to step out of it and just know that the sky is blue because it always had and always will be. And well, let's not go into how little time I feel I have for my husband.
Totally unrelated. I just need to post it before I forget. Verse for 2018:
Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
Matthew 7:1-2
I can't wait to see my folks and all that the homeland will have for the next month. I want to hide again from all the world.
The look on her face. I knew what she was thinking. I've felt that way many times before.
He came home earlier today. I got more time to myself.
I lost myself today. I lost what it meant to be me and I was overwhelmed with mothering.
With baby 2 on the way, I need to be more careful. I can't lose myself again. But if I do, at least I set the stage for it. I explained to her what was going on in my head and everything. She understood. I know.
I miss teaching. I miss mentoring women. I miss being a helper and guide. As a wife and mom, I'm doing all these things, I know, but it's not the same. I'm no longer talking to women my age. Yes, the child-like wonder, I love, but sometimes I want to step out of it and just know that the sky is blue because it always had and always will be. And well, let's not go into how little time I feel I have for my husband.
Totally unrelated. I just need to post it before I forget. Verse for 2018:
Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
Matthew 7:1-2
I can't wait to see my folks and all that the homeland will have for the next month. I want to hide again from all the world.